A week ago I ended up the relationship of more than three years we had with my girlfriend. It was hard to do that. I tried many things before deciding that and it took me a lot to come to terms with that. She is totally sad, and is hurt because the reason is I can't get over her past sexual life. I won't go into details here because I found out that writing about this subject helps me. But going into details is too hurtful now. I prefer talking more in general (I worte a question about this if you are courious). The point is frmo now on only virgins allowed.
I started having thoughts about her past more than a year and a half ago. A year ago I started looking for help in many ways. Nothing helped me to fully solve this. Some things were better than others. By then I started reading a lot about this problem sometimes called retroactive jealousy. And I've seen some really false statements there like the one I'd like to mention now: "You have to accept your girlfriend just like she is".
No, you don't.
Don't let the twist your mind or otherwise torture you with false commandments. I've read hundred of times people telling a guy that he have to accept the fact that his girlfriend has been with others. Where that comes from? I understand that sometimes the guy knew the girl wasn't a virgin when he met her. And then he can't complain about this because he was warned. But yet, he is in his right to choose the girl he wants. No one else is entitled to tell him which characteristics of this girl are those he can use to choos her or not.
I co-worker girl I know told me once "I'd never date a guy who hates smokes". And I found it totally rational because she smoked a lot. I heard a guy on the TV years ago saying he would never date a girl who didn't want to have sex in the first date. Weird as it could sound I guess we can say what is our criteria. It has to work for us, not for every one else. If I decided to only date virgins from now one. Who is going to stop me?
Yes, you can say I'll have a hard time finding a virgin girl. That's true but I have to try, right? Maybe it won't be a virgin really. I don't know for sure. It could be a girl with a conservative past which is willing to never tell me anything about it. Maybe it will be easier for me to accept her past now that I also have a past. But this is not only about me but about all those guys out there who a repeatedly told they have to accept their girlfriends even when the can't get over their past. You can try. But also you can drop it and get out from there. And go for something different.