A Sub's Guide to Little Space


I typically refer to it as "sub space" myself, though there's no doubting that it is, indeed, little space. I just haven't quite reached the level of being comfortable enough to declare "I'm in little space", it's currently easier for me to say something has put me in sub space.

A Sub's Guide to Little Space

It is, as most know or have picked up on at this point, a product of the DD/LG dynamic of BDSM. That's "daddy dom / little girl" for those not in the know.

You're probably wondering, not entirely kindly, "What the fuck is this weird kinkster talking about - what is this little space?"

My definition, to keep it simple: it's when something is said to me that makes me feel tiny. Physically and emotionally. But not in the negative sense, in which someone talks down to you and makes you feel worthless. It's hard to explain the positivie sensation of feeling tiny, but I assure you - it isn't a negative one.

Common phrases that slip me into sub space are:

- "Good girl"
- "little one/thing"
- "I'm proud of you"

Of course for 2 out of 3 of those it depends entirely on who is saying it to me, and when I slip into sub space it doesn't necessarily mean I'm automatically going to be sexually submissive to whomever managed to put me there. It just means I'm less...rigid and more loose and carefree, creative and curious.

A Sub's Guide to Little Space

And when I'm in sub space, the #1 thing I need is attention. Preferably from daddy himself, but I'll usually settle for attention from anyone, something I've learned over the year plus that I've been in this type of dynamic with someone. If I don't get it, it doesn't take me long to spiral into a sour mood. Which usually in turn sucks me out of sub space.

Now let's talk about the different types of "littles" there are, because we are not one combined Cookie Cutter type.

1. There are the littles who like diapers, and pacifiers, and having their daddies read them bedtime stories, drinking out of sippy cups and actually wetting the said diapers they wear.
2. There are the littles who like coloring books, and disney movies, and having their daddies prepare their meals for them. Meals which usually consist of dinosaur chicken nuggets and cutesy little things of that nature.
3. There are the littles who don't necessarily like the pastel color scheme that is so often associated with someone being a little. They prefer black and purples, or blacks and reds. Doesn't make them any less of a little.
4. There are the littles who talk in babyish voices, and use childlike terminology. They'll say "dada", "pwease", etc.
5. There are independent littles, and there are needy and clingy littles.

Most littles will be a combination of all of the things I mentioned, and some will strictly either be type one or type two, etc. Regardless, we are the same and yet we are not, exactly, the same. We all have our moments where we pout because we haven't heard from our daddy and by god, we need him.

A Sub's Guide to Little Space

One of my favorite parts about being the LG in a DD/LG dynamic has to be the rules. Though there have been rules put in place in my particular situation, there have not been any established punishments made yet. Being a long distance thing, and the dynamic being applied to a friends with benefits situation, it's a little bit harder to figure out punishments and rules that can really stick.

Especially when I usually only get to speak with my daddy once a week. It's just not really practical for rules to be followed and punishments to be doled out, but it still gives me a sense of purpose when I look at the rules that were drafted and discussed.

Which is something big. Needing a sense of purpose, feeling like I've accomplished something to make my daddy happy - let me tell you, nothing in turn makes me happier.

I don't expect anyone outside of this nook of the BDSM community to really grasp what I'm saying and understand it fully, but this whole dynamic is about pleasing someone and feeling protected. It's about having someone who cares about you, and gives you guidance.

It's not - for every duo involved - about replacing a girls father figure in her life. While some couples may choose to take it to that level, it for the most part is just a gentler version of having a master/slave dynamic.

A Sub's Guide to Little Space

Being a gentler, more lenient version of the master/slave dynamic, there are obviously some bleed throughs. Collars being my favorite, for instance. If you wear a collar, you're basically telling people you're owned. You have a daddy or a master or a sir. However you may refer to him. Collars can also come into the picture if a couple partakes in pet play, though I don't know anything about that dynamic so I'll leave it at that mention.

The punishments and rules are also dynamics that bleed through between M/S and DD/LG. The difference being that daddy dom's are going to be less cruel in their punishments, but still strict nonetheless in them.

And that, perhaps, is why this works so well for me. Because sometimes I enjoy the intensity of the master/slave dynamic, and other times I like the cute feeling I can acquire when I dip into sub space.

With all of that being said, I think I've covered a good chunk of what little space and the dd/lg dynamic is about... for me. I in no way covered everything that comes along with it, and there are people out there who are way more versed on the topic than I. But I like to think after a year of it, I've got a pretty good idea of what it is I've been in practice with.

A Sub's Guide to Little Space

A Sub's Guide to Little Space
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • Joc4Position
    I've tried the daddy/little thing a liiiittle bit. Like online. It doesn't work for me. I don't like the feeling of being a dad. I do want kids one day, but I'm not ready for that now. I feel like I have to force myself to do it, and I don't think anyone should do "kinky and/or sexual" stuff they don't want to do. It's just not for me despite me being into so much other shit lol.

    Another thing is that it takes commitment. Might as well be in a monogamous relationship, and that's something I'm not into. I like to "roam free" so to speak. The daddy/little thing is something you have to be dedicated to. It's for sure not for everybody.

    You mentioned master/slave relationships. That I think I'd be more into. I already have an ego. Having a sexual slave only strokes it even more XD (no pun). Not only that but I'm mostly dominant anyway. I don't see myself as being a sub really.

    As far as spankings yeah I'm into giving those. That's a great picture you posted. Very informative. I actually understand the why a little bit better now when it comes to dd/lg relationships.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • CHARismatic110
    This certainly helps understand the whole little thing better. You know how I feel about the whole "daddy" thing already lol. This is a pretty good Take tho. Very informative and a bit intriguing. Well done, little one 😉
    Is this still revelant?
    • teawrecks

      I see what you did there. IT DIDN'T WORK!

    • 😂😂😂😂

      I guess it's because I don't have a dick.

    • teawrecks

      that actually might be true because when my manager buddy called me "little thing" it definitely sent me into little space lol

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • dragonfly6516
    It's definitely a separate headspace LOL. I say things when I'm in little mode that have even me going "wait, WTF!" But subspace and little are also separate from each other for me. I enjoy being in my little, and it comes out even if I'm all alone, I'll sometimes make the noises when I'm excited. But I only go into subspace when he grabs my hair, my collar, or my neck, only he can do it to me, and subspace cancels out little mode. I can't be in both at the same time, and subspace always wins out.

    We fall under the "brat and brat tamer" categories, and I enjoy being defiant with him, just as he enjoys putting me in my place. And... neither of us feel right about calling him "daddy". My little is more like a pet than a child. And my little NEVER comes out during sex. That's where we both draw the line.

    He both wants, and feels a need to take care of me, but I have a need for financial independence, and at times to be completely left alone. Being little creates a healthy illusion to give us both what we want and need.
    • Paradolia

      I really value your opinion on this topic. Thank you for not letting the trolls get you down, and continuing to be you! :D

  • MrMuffinMan
    I recently took the bdsmtest. com and little (I think child is the same) was my number one fetish. Thanks for explaining it to me. I do like acting silly, enjoy the childish things in life and quite often get into a childlike mindset, using baby words.
    • OMG welcome to the world of littles ❤️❤️

    • I wanted to try this but it's actually bdsmtest. org I took it and it said I ranked for switch

    • @SakuraCherryBlossoms that's a great test. I love it and recommend it to my friends

  • JuicyBrain
    That is a nice take ! Congratulations on having the guts to not go anonymous ! I am proud of you ! 👍
  • Scrambledagain
    I have two collars for my little: a "little" collar where she goes into sub space as a little and submits to me. She is a brat type. But I also have an animal collar for her. She goes into pet play mode. Got a pet play party on Saturday.
    • teawrecks

      I'm kinda bratty too, but my daddy puts up with it. Only 'cause he hasn't thought of any punishments yet :p

    • It's hard to put punishments on a long distance relationship. I have a few, but I do see my little once a week so I can give her rewards and punishments when I see her.

    • My little isn't so much a child as a pet with a subhuman intellect but the ability to speak, if that makes sense. My dom has a collar he puts on me when we play in a sexual nature, behind closed doors, and I have a necklace that he made for me with real gemstones, and that's my "everyday" collar. Unless the necklace is in his hand, I don't really *have* to submit... Total defiant brat here ;-P
      No but really, I know when he's being serious, and how to tell the difference between "I'm suggesting this as your boyfriend", and "I'm telling you this as your Dom."
      We love across town and only see each other a few times a week right now, so punishments are usually not being allowed to see him after work (nights when he works he can only spare a few minutes while I'm passing through on my way home), or where I'd normally get a phone call, I only get text. Or instead of a kiss, he licks my face; I hate that! But he loves my reaction.

  • Riggers
    The word Daddy when used sexually is literally cancerous.
  • prettylittlemynx
    Thank you for the post. This has to be one of the most detailed and structured articles on littles. It's far more structured than most things written on this page. And thank you for the spanking guide.
  • Dred1614
    This helped me understand that lifestyle. It makes it seem even more sick and twisted.
    • teawrecks

      To each their own.

    • Dred1614

      Doesn't make it any less disgusting.

    • teawrecks

      Your opinion. Have a nice day, kid.

    • Show All
  • Kylesar
    My girlfriend is into that stuff
    I'm personally not, but I'll play along with it for her
    • teawrecks

      What a nice guy you are.

    • Just be careful. It's dangerous to play at BDSM if you really don't want to.
      If a Dom doesn't know what he/she is doing, he/she could seriously harm the sub.

      If the sub doesn't understand what is going on, or is the slightest bit afraid, they could they could struggle and harm themselves, or the sudden shock could cause serious psychological trauma.

    • Kylesar

      @dragonfly6516 I don't do anything without research
      I know what I'm doing

  • aliceinwonderland69
    I totally get what you mean. I am normally the one who is on top of everything but when I am with a guy I like I go all girly and playful. Guys seem to like it I think it kicks in there instinct of protection. I like having my hair brushed.
  • FilthyPervert
    Why do people take this shit so seriously, just call him your boyfriend and talk like a normal couple then go weird when you sext or fuck irl. Stop making it have to be a 24/7 thing lmao.
    • No dude, it's different. My primary partner is as you describe. She doesn't do roll play, or fantasies or any of that. She just sees a dude, likes him, fucks him, no problems. But then I am in the bdsm scene too, with another girl and her thinking and what they do are so different. She begs me to belt her. She gets turned on by playing a "kitten", she gets turned on by me dictating to her. Some people love this and submit to this.

    • @Scrambledagain outside of the bedroom that's abuse.

    • MrBenefits

      Outside of bedroom it's abuse? It's all about consent, not place or time. Consent.

    • Show All
  • f_ckmeup
    Omg yesssss. There are so many people who think ddlg is some daddy issue kink and dont understand it.

    I love little space and Im happy you pointed out that not all littles are the same.
  • TheHooptyMiata
    ITT: Daddy issues!

    When I say I like submissive chicks, this isn't the submissive I mean. This is just creepy.
  • Notreallyhere
    Hm, I see the appeal to some guys, but you lost me at diapers and pacifiers. Kinkin just a little too hard with that.
  • CheerGirl38139
    Very informative. Thanks for taking the time to write it.
  • PrettyBama
    This is always weird for me. I'm a sub also and I don't mind daddy doms but being the victim of a pervert as a child sometimes it goes too far for me so there has to be boundaries. I like to be treated as an adult little if that makes sense. The men who make me uncomfortable are the men who blur the lines between Me being an adult and me being a literal child. When I use daddy as a sub it's always as a figure of speech like a vanity title. I've had men literally refer to me as their daughter. And thats just nasty. It makes me think "if this relationship goes further and we have a child, is he gonna try to fuck her?" Lmao

    If he wants me to act like a child in out the door. I've had frilly socks bought for me. Very child like underwear. Told to wear pig tails. Ask to watch cartoons during role play. Like no. You want to fuck an actual child and you're a perv and I no longer trust you. And I'm out of there 😂
  • karahiri
    i've never heard of little space or sub space before. huh. interesting read :)
    • "Subspace", like collars, is present in all forms of BDSM. It's no different than switching off your personal life when walking into work, or going into defensive mode when walking to your car late at night alone. It's a set of behaviors that "take over" the forefront of your mind when you enter into play with your dom.
      For many, myself included, subspace is a literal chemical reaction in the brain, and to me it feels similar to being drunk, in the good way.

  • Spirit_Is_Free
    I have a very simple view on things like this - If all the participants are consensual and nobody is being hurt/abused unreasonably by that I mean whatever they end up doing they are in a good place to make that decision - Essentially it is a private decision for most people and their own business what they chose to do or whether they are public about it or not - Lets face it leaving aside your own tastes, I would think about how I would feel about people I care about engaging in these lifestyles - What do you think about one of these people (who you care about) doing anything in life or making a decision in life, you will want them to be safe, happy and comfortable with good prospects for the future, why can't a person sexual predilections fall into the same scope of emotions. From what I can see you feel safe, comfortable and happy so I have no issues with your take, I found it quite educational and mind opening - Well done.
  • Zeanobia
    You may need to find another name for that feeling, BDSM people might mistake it for subspace which is something completely different from your take.
  • Noxifer626
    I like the whole collars thing and it would be great to try this out once. But I don't think I could deal with being in a complete DDLG relationship.
    • "Collaring" is present in all forms of BDSM. DDLG, however is just one flavor of BDSM. There are tons of great links for research in a simple Google search.

  • PT1911
    While I find some of the play I guess to an extreme, this is how the dynamics of relationships orignally worked. Leader and follower, each with their own role to play, each person mindful of what happens when trust is broken. A user on here (no longer here) described it as a "fear" more or less, like with gravity, in the sense that if a wrong step or action is taken, you know what the consequences are. This goes for BOTH people. I understand the dynamic and why it attracts many, but, like I said, some of the play is just a bit too much for me.

    Unfortunately, the only thing stopping me from finding my own "little one" to use your own terminology is lack of confidence in myself. I've made great gains recently, but still, I feel I'm a little short.

    Keep making him happy little one ;)
  • Paradolia
    I just found out recently that this particular dynamic is a big turn on for me. My little asked me to be her official "daddy" yesterday, and I've been casually searching contracts and collars and such. My biggest hurdle for this aspect of the lifestyle was the first time I was having "interactive story time" with a lady friend and she called said "Harder, daddy". The first thing that popped into my head was the star wars meme, where Vader was force choking the guy, and he said "Harder daddy". When I finally stopped laughing, I realized just how much I enjoyed hearing it, and I'm glad I was able to move past my apprehensive feelings. @teawreck, thank you for posting such a wonderful perspective on this. I look forward to reading more from you in the future!
  • SweetHomicidalQueen
    I like this
    make more
  • skeptic007
    too much fet hun
    and too much tumblr
    • teawrecks

      Like I said, hun; it's what it is to ME. Not what it standardly is in general. Read a bit closer and you would've grasped that, hun.

    • skeptic007

      I know im joking
      I was a DOM once so I understand

  • WhatTheHellAmy
    Good girl, great myTake!
  • takumii
    Lol seriously , why am I even reading this? XD
  • DogEatsCat1973
    Pm me please I could use your help with a project!
  • paul6569
    This is a nice roleplay and i like it also!!
  • Twolips
    I'm a daddy