I typically refer to it as "sub space" myself, though there's no doubting that it is, indeed, little space. I just haven't quite reached the level of being comfortable enough to declare "I'm in little space", it's currently easier for me to say something has put me in sub space.
It is, as most know or have picked up on at this point, a product of the DD/LG dynamic of BDSM. That's "daddy dom / little girl" for those not in the know.
You're probably wondering, not entirely kindly, "What the fuck is this weird kinkster talking about - what is this little space?"
My definition, to keep it simple: it's when something is said to me that makes me feel tiny. Physically and emotionally. But not in the negative sense, in which someone talks down to you and makes you feel worthless. It's hard to explain the positivie sensation of feeling tiny, but I assure you - it isn't a negative one.
Common phrases that slip me into sub space are:
- "Good girl"
- "little one/thing"
- "I'm proud of you"
Of course for 2 out of 3 of those it depends entirely on who is saying it to me, and when I slip into sub space it doesn't necessarily mean I'm automatically going to be sexually submissive to whomever managed to put me there. It just means I'm less...rigid and more loose and carefree, creative and curious.
And when I'm in sub space, the #1 thing I need is attention. Preferably from daddy himself, but I'll usually settle for attention from anyone, something I've learned over the year plus that I've been in this type of dynamic with someone. If I don't get it, it doesn't take me long to spiral into a sour mood. Which usually in turn sucks me out of sub space.
Now let's talk about the different types of "littles" there are, because we are not one combined Cookie Cutter type.
1. There are the littles who like diapers, and pacifiers, and having their daddies read them bedtime stories, drinking out of sippy cups and actually wetting the said diapers they wear.
2. There are the littles who like coloring books, and disney movies, and having their daddies prepare their meals for them. Meals which usually consist of dinosaur chicken nuggets and cutesy little things of that nature.
3. There are the littles who don't necessarily like the pastel color scheme that is so often associated with someone being a little. They prefer black and purples, or blacks and reds. Doesn't make them any less of a little.
4. There are the littles who talk in babyish voices, and use childlike terminology. They'll say "dada", "pwease", etc.
5. There are independent littles, and there are needy and clingy littles.
Most littles will be a combination of all of the things I mentioned, and some will strictly either be type one or type two, etc. Regardless, we are the same and yet we are not, exactly, the same. We all have our moments where we pout because we haven't heard from our daddy and by god, we need him.
One of my favorite parts about being the LG in a DD/LG dynamic has to be the rules. Though there have been rules put in place in my particular situation, there have not been any established punishments made yet. Being a long distance thing, and the dynamic being applied to a friends with benefits situation, it's a little bit harder to figure out punishments and rules that can really stick.
Especially when I usually only get to speak with my daddy once a week. It's just not really practical for rules to be followed and punishments to be doled out, but it still gives me a sense of purpose when I look at the rules that were drafted and discussed.
Which is something big. Needing a sense of purpose, feeling like I've accomplished something to make my daddy happy - let me tell you, nothing in turn makes me happier.
I don't expect anyone outside of this nook of the BDSM community to really grasp what I'm saying and understand it fully, but this whole dynamic is about pleasing someone and feeling protected. It's about having someone who cares about you, and gives you guidance.
It's not - for every duo involved - about replacing a girls father figure in her life. While some couples may choose to take it to that level, it for the most part is just a gentler version of having a master/slave dynamic.
Being a gentler, more lenient version of the master/slave dynamic, there are obviously some bleed throughs. Collars being my favorite, for instance. If you wear a collar, you're basically telling people you're owned. You have a daddy or a master or a sir. However you may refer to him. Collars can also come into the picture if a couple partakes in pet play, though I don't know anything about that dynamic so I'll leave it at that mention.
The punishments and rules are also dynamics that bleed through between M/S and DD/LG. The difference being that daddy dom's are going to be less cruel in their punishments, but still strict nonetheless in them.
And that, perhaps, is why this works so well for me. Because sometimes I enjoy the intensity of the master/slave dynamic, and other times I like the cute feeling I can acquire when I dip into sub space.
With all of that being said, I think I've covered a good chunk of what little space and the dd/lg dynamic is about... for me. I in no way covered everything that comes along with it, and there are people out there who are way more versed on the topic than I. But I like to think after a year of it, I've got a pretty good idea of what it is I've been in practice with.