Sexual Relationships
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'All Men will cheat...'

'All Men will cheat...'

I am a man, I have never cheated.

The majority question this, struggling to accept the concept of a man being faithful.

The scutterbug ruminating through 21-century circles underpins the cynicism, portraying man as having an egocentric, have our cake while eating it mindset. Loving having a woman dedicated to us 24/7 while we still sow our wild oats. Justifying our actions by embracing the cliche 'variety is the spice of life' as a means to maintain the interest in our relationships.

Faithfulness always an ideal, never a reality meaning monogamy is found in the mystery section of every males library. Superficial reasoning leading to convenient pigeonholing with this inevitable label:

'All men are cheats...'

The sense of 'right' or 'wrong' as part of a males makeup never entering new age considerations with the moniker omitting a full understanding of the males mindset.

To a large degree we are governed by our 'other head', but only a few allows it to lead to an act of self-betrayal. One where you could just choose to be single and bed as many women you want, rather than be attached and run the risk of the stress that goes with the act.

The other side is what commitment truly means to us. Using my example; I lived a youth of promiscuity followed by getting married at 19 and only having eyes for one. I can barely remember many of the women I slept with, but I toss and turn every night craving my ex-wife near. There is a pleasure in promiscuity but also a seeming loneliness that behind closed doors strips you bare leaving a gnawing legacy.

When you are with a woman in a relationship that you adore, the sense of completeness is palpable. On an intimate level, it is all about her and the yearn for the oneness of the body to compliment the feeling you worship in the union of heart, mind, and being.

There is never any need, or desire for 'extracurricular activities.'

If the feeling dims and the sands of time run out on what you were sharing, cheating never enters the equation. With respect for self, as well as your partner occupying front row, and centre in communicating and trying to bridge differences or thanking for the memories, and leaving.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok so when I saw the title of this I thought the worst but after I read it I'll admit I was pleasantly surprised with what you had to say with that being said I will agree that we all have that alluring feeling of temptation always hovering around when it comes to most people, but I don't believe it's accurate to say we all could cheat or think about it, I for one have never thought about it even once.

    But with that being said again I agree with you were saying about finding your gal, the one you love and only have eyes for. It kind of takes away any doubt or feelings of temptation you might have had when your with someone like that, almost like in your eyes one can really compare to them, or how they make you feel. You connect with and energizer with them, you like two sides of a coin or yin and yang, and what differences or different views you or they have it doesn't matter because you can look past em. That feeling of completion/palpable *sigh* is an amazing feeling.

    and like you said when if it runs out or dims you gotta try to fix the issue or problems and if you can't thank them for the wonderful memories and leave on good terms.

Most Helpful Girl

  • This was a great take. Thanks for sharing your point of view.

    I've never been the type to believe that "all men are cheaters." I'm aware that every man is different and will not act the same way in a relationship. I was cheated on (multiple times actually) in my last relationship but now I am with someone who I truly believe loves me, respects me, and would not want to do anything like that. When someone has been hurt in that way, it can be easy to then believe that everyone will be the same and hurt them. It's hard to be vulnerable again and trust that someone new will not be the same way.

    So on one hand, it's understandable when people who have been cheated on feel a sense of insecurity and doubt. However, for me personally, I forced myself to not do that. I had to keep telling myself that not all men are the same and really put all of my trust into someone new. I don't regret it one bit though and I'm glad I was able to move on and find someone who I feel I can really trust. :)

    • Thank you for your kind words I think it is more about my response to the 'stereoytping/labelling' that is rampant in this Age. As men, we are certainly obsessed with sex, and new agers focus on this to deem as all averse to being faithful. Instead, the reality is most if not all know the line in the sand never to cross.

    • Yes, I agree with you. In reality, it's not just one gender that cheats. It seems to me like cheating is common for both men AND women these days. It can be difficult to find a faithful partner. There ARE good people out there who don't cheat though, as you stated in your take. :)

    • i think people do not truly understand what commitment means from the point of view that there is good, bad and ugly in it that you need to work through. Few can communicate in an open and honest way to deal with issues. So, they always try to find easy ways out or do things that are wrong, like cheating

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 28

  • well... lotta big words here my friend lol.
    shoot i ain't gonna lie... I've cheated more times than i can count... and thats just in one relationship... but like you said.. being promiscuous is quite fun...
    I've also been faithful to one as well... and its not that bad either... then my mind created a new scenario...
    What if you can be with one... and Still be promiscuous... its not cheating if you have permission.
    plus on anyone's side, guy or girl... i always say, if you have been cheated on more than 3 times... you better check yourself. because even you can see the common denominator.

    • I think if you still get the 'itch' in a relationship, the best thing to do is breach the possibility of an open relationship, rather than cheat.

    • damn straight. i mean, it doesn't have to be open open, just have someone who understands that there is a possibility of temptation. i explained that to my girl and she's just like "well if you find someone, bring her over" lol... damned near pissed my pants laughing so hard. Turns out that that scratched the itch. Apparently, the cheating thing because it was taboo, but when it was allowed with permission, it wasn't fun anymore.

    • I never get that thrill of going on the sly. But I can understand the adrenalin rush that goes with it

  • agree on all accounts. i hate the notion that all guys are some how programmed to cheat. as if there is a baseline expectation of behavior that no man is able to overcome

    • Ameen to this :)

  • Interesting.
    Every night, I go to bend wondering what o did to deserve my husband. After years, I am finally comfortable enough to bet my life that he would never cheat on me. I sometimes wonder of there's something wrong with HIM. Sine because he's ao unlike other males.
    He has a promiscuous past, too. People will sometimes approach me, look at him and ask what I've done to him as he's apparent so different compared to what he used to be.
    I regret to tell you that I wasn't a very good girlfriend to him earlier. In fact, I was terrible. I was always telling him I was leaving, I've slapped him before. My own insecurities had me arguing with him every. single. night. My family didn't accept him, and they were often very rude to him. I found out he watched porn, and I held it against him for three years. But, I was always there for him and I showed my love in little ways. He said, he fell in love with me when I took care of him when he was sick, as that's when we met. I sat him down at friends house and made him a cup of tea. That's all I did, but he tells me about it all the time.
    And even after all this, he does everything for me. He doesn't watch porn, and believe me I would know because I am indede completely crazy. the most beautiful girl could walk past and he won't even bat an eyelid. He's spent every last dollar on me, lived uncomfortably just for me, and he's even had his name dirtied in court, for me.
    I just still have trouble believing men have emotions other than hungry and horny. Sometimes, I am so suspicious that I still believe he only does nice things to get me into bed. I still wait for the day his rose goggles will come off and he'll see that there's a lot more beautiful women around. I wonder why he's with me, when he could have any other girl. Sometimes I think there's some dark reason he's with me. But it doesn't make sense because I'm not rich, and nobodies leaving me a big sum of money in a will or anything like that.
    It's just hard to accept that men like you and my husband exist. What with all the real life examples that are the norm, of men cheating as soon as they see bigger breasts and then we have science that actually backs the theory that men are not meant to be monogomous up. Men are only as loyal as their opportunities, and part of me still believes that.
    Interesting take. Very interesting take.

    • thank you for a great reply

  • I've never cheated, but its not like i have women throwing themselves at me

  • This was amazing. I love the message it has.

    Truthfully, I was in a situation, not really a relationship, with the promiscuous type of guy that you mentioned and l do hope for the best for him. When we were together, I felt self conscious and always afraid that he would cheat, which inevitably did. It was not a good way to be.

    But, now, being with the sweet and caring man, that I am in a relationship with, now... I have never felt so comfortable being woth someone. It really fits. And, I honestly could see a lobg future with him.

    There's truly no better feeling than that. Love this take!!! 💜

    • Love certainly rules with how it completes your being. In a sense it is like a soul stillness between two-with two hearts beating in synergy as one like a fat Swiss gold watch. thank you for the kind words on my take :)

    • Thank you for posting it. I loved it. Maybe, some men will read it and want to find someone special, rather than being in so many pointless, empty short term things... :)

    • Life in all its walks is always about seeking, finding and embracing the special things :)

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  • I agree. Most men, when married, have a deep sense of honor and commitment to their spouse. This stems from mans general desire for order and stability. I, sadly, feel that this thought comes from self projection, as there are numerous accounts of things being done due to emotions, and the trope that, I don't know what happened, it just did.

  • You can't cheat on something you don't have with something you also can't get.

  • You do not speak for everyone, nor will everyone submit to being required to conform to your beliefs. Some people, both male and female, definitely feel differently than you do. I, for one, respect their rights to believe and behave as they choose, as long as they do not infringe on my person (nothing short of rape does so, and there is no significant movement to legalize rape of males, although the same cannot be said for females). Along with life (especially post-birth), the right to liberty and the pursuit of happiness should still be safeguarded by our government and not allowed to be hijacked by elements of our society whose ideology would dictate otherwise.

  • Back in the day when I was a PI I had many women walk into my office and ask us to test their husbands. They had a sneaking suspicion that something was just not right. We had very attractive women who we would call from time to time for a gig like this one. I would have to say after completing 50 or so stings... I don't recall any of the men saying NO I LOVE MY WIFE PLEASE LEAVE. Now I don't know the particulars of the marriage. The marriages could have been over for years and more then likely one or both have fallen out of love. It would be nice if your last paragraph were true and men or women could thank the other for the memories and leave. More then likely one will be scorn, hurt, and feel betrayed. I have found more couples stay together after one cheats... so its not the cheating... its the waste of their time that hurts the most. The one that was cheated on will stay because their is just too much time invested in the relationship and starting over seems unbearable. It's unfortunate but society is fickle that way. In this day and age time is the most valuable commodity we have and most would rather go down with the ship then start over.

  • some people are simply incompatible with monogamy. Ignore this fact and marry such a person anyway, and they're probably going to cheat on you at the first opportunity. And the second. And third. And so on..

  • Great take - It might say a lot about your background - As we talked before I know you were raised an irish catholic while it is a sometimes a stereotype a la "Mrs Brown Boys" but for most irish lads the biggest influence in your life was that 5'1" 100 lb force of nature who could make you admit to anything with a guilt trip stare. Somewhere in your soul you know your mammy would kill you if you treated a girl wrong.

    • True my brother, sadly I lost my mother at 13, but I still live by her stare that was so intense that it could turn sand into glass. All Irish lads live by that reverence of their Mother and treat fellow women with similar respect :)

  • Actually, I sort of think women are more inclined to cheat than men, and I think women cheat as much - if not more, but it goes largely unnoticed because people choose not to notice it.

    I think cheating has far less to do with any instinctive motives and more to do with weak resolve and an idea that the person you're with is expendable.

  • Thank you! This helped. :)

    • my pleasure

  • well said

  • I just learned that "K" cheated on me. I'm realizing that this other woman told him I was having sex with her. He asked me if we did and I told him that wasn't true. He didn't believe me, so he had sex with her a few times. As time went by: 10 months... It was a living hell for me. He was mean, ignored me, wouldn't touch me, talk to me... I couldn't understand why. I knew it wasn't him. He took a road trip, he would text me and say mean things, then finally told me. I've only known about it for a week now. I hurt, I'm angry, feel stupid, feel betrayed. That was one thing I asked him to not do. He wants a clean slate, says I can trust him, and he'll never do it again. I can't get pictures of them doing the deed out of my head. He has already rubbed in my face. Now, he's wanting me to come clean cuz he has a recording of me and proof I am not as innocent. I told him that there isn't any recording and proof of any sort and how can he expect me to admit something I didn't do. The 10 months of not knowing, it was a nightmare. I felt he was punishing me/taking it ur on me & I wasn't doing anything for him to act as such. Now that I know, I get that it washes guilt, but damn him for breaking his promise, being the way he. Was, & acting like I need to get over it A. S. A. P. ... Sorry I just really hurt & don'tknow if I should try or not. We have been together for 10 years

    • My condolences for your pain- that is a tragic situation :(

    • (Update: 4-15-16) Relished in the love & attention I received upon his return. Of course I didn't expect him to be this way everyday, this isn't a fairytale. I wanted to believe him! I just wanted to be loved, respected, & be close to him again. Honestly, I really was relieved he told me the truth. 10 months I felt in my gut something was wrong & he wasn't acting like himself. I am a very forgiving woman, can move on, can heal, & can trust again. 4 days later, he just took off in his car not saying a word to our son or me close to lunch being ready. I figured he would be back in a few. Nope, so I call, he's upset & accusing me of stealing his things. We have lived together for over 10 years, I don't need to steal. (SMH?) Long story short, he created a fight, insulted, accused, belittled, used hateful words, & rubbed her in my face. Went through everything, took what he wanted, pored gas all over my nice clothes, sold our bed, cleaned our account, & left us another state to his parents.

  • Where's say all men cheat to make them feel better for sleeping with his brother or the neighbor. If sex needs more adventure just ask or have a threesome don't cheat

  • Valar Morghulis - All men must cheat

    • i do not subscribe

  • In Western countries , bashing men is not only condoned & encouraged , but celebrated !! It is mathematically impossible for ALL men to be cheats , for starters there are more men than women , apart form advanced age , as more boys are born than girls. It is also much harder for a man to attract / date a woman, even with a more balanced gender ratio , so women will always have far more opportunities to cheat if they so wished , men are generally not in demand.

    Men cheat primarily for sex & actually getting affection , whilst women cheat more for ego , attention & sometimes material goods , women are not wired to seek sex , so the motives are different. I never cheated , I simply divorced my ex , now a single dad.

  • I honestly can't take a girl seriously who says something like this

    If you can't give me the gift of the benefit of the doubt, You can have my gift of absence

  • Whoever said this is a damn moron. Not ALL men cheat.

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