Some people pursue a Short-Term Mating Strategy others a Long-Term Mating Strategy. What do I mean by STMS v. LTMS? Well to put it simply it's the pursuit of sex v. commitment. This is a simplification, however, because they are obviously not mutually exclusive. But some people prioritise sex others prioritise loyalty.
The stereotype is that men are only interested in one thing whereas all women want monogamy. But there are plenty of men who want loyalty and plenty of women who desire casual sex. Men who pursue monogamy aren't pussies and women who pursue sex aren't sluts. Although there seems to be plenty of shame all round.
I pursue LTMS so I avoid men who pursue STMS. This means I avoid men who have a history of multiple partners, cheating or short term relationships. (What counts as short term is variable by age. For example, 2yrs is a long time for a guy in his 20s but not for a guy in his 40s.). It's not that I think male promiscuity is wrong it's just not what I'm looking for.
Some guys will say they are still 'Looking for the one.' or just 'Haven't found the right woman.'. They are often either just being disingenuous, or they have an idealised view of women or love, or they or just plain fussy and self-entitled. (Again this often depends on age. Looking for the one in your 20s is sweet. Still looking in your 40s is a red flag for either gender. By this time you should either by heart broken and cynical or heart broken and hopeful. If no one has measured up by now it's time for some introspection.)
It is difficult to move a relationship from one thing to another. What I mean is it is difficult to move a relationship from being largely sexual to being committed. It is also difficult to make a relationship more passionate as time goes on. There are always exceptions, such as, fuck buddies or best friends that marry, but these are the exception not the rule. It is difficult to go from lover to wife and difficult to go from friend to lover.
Now although I have said that both genders can pursue either strategy it would be foolish to ignore the much discussed sexual 'double standard'. No one receives shame quite like women who pursue STMS. I think this is wrong. It is one thing to say you would not marry a woman with a history of promiscuity but another to claim female promiscuity is wrong. Just as it is different for me to say I don't date players than to say I hate them. One is an expression of your autonomy the other is a denial of someone else's.
Men who pursue STMS typically don't hate on women who do. Why would they? Both get what they want without having to misrepresent themselves. This may even be the key to the players success. Women don't typically explore taboos with men they think will judge them.
So I think it is fine for either gender to pursue either strategy and we shouldn't judge each other. But when STMS meets LTMS much heartbreak ensues. So let's agree not too shame but also not to misrepresent. Calling all jaded players and reformed sluts to can the routine. Lord knows I've heard them both too many times before.