Things People Think When The Sex Is Bad

Stacyzee

Things People Think When The Sex Is Bad

This includes random thoughts from both female and male during sex.

Thoughts during bad sex

1. Am I even in yet?

2. This feels like a bucket with water. I am just pumping endlessly with no feel in the world!

3. Not every Toys R Us Kid, "Grows up!" if you know what I mean!

4. Yikes, at that sex face!

5. What am I going to have for dinner?

6. ::Thinks about the sex me and my best lover had::

7. Should I fake moan? If I do, I'll sound stupid. I'll just lay here quietly.

8. What time is it?

9. Maybe, I should check my e-mail.

10. He's not done yet?

11. What's her name again?

12. He's want me to dirty talk, i better not. If I do I'll sound rehearsed and robotic.

13. Ah! He's pulling my hair. He better let go, this cost way more than his montly rent!

14. I wonder if I forgot to turn off the stove before I left.

15. Why won't he do it faster and harder?

16. A icecream truck moves faster than this!

17. Oh my god! His nails inside of my vagina feel like knives trying to tear through my flesh! Cut those damn claws!

18. What a waste of an affair!

19. She said, "Oh that feels good" but I stopped, I'm such an idiot! What was I doing again?

20. I just can't hold this position much longer. I just can't! Ahh! I'm crying for you legs!

21. Did he just say saddle up pony?

22. That is definitely not the way I like my dick sucked!

23. Ah, he so didn't see when I spit out a big hair ball while giving him oral.

24. I wish he would stop, this is beginning to hurt way too much!

25. I thought he said he was good.

26. Aw man! It's past four, American Idol is over!

27. He's so passionate just look how he's looking at me.

28. I wonder if i keep my facial expression the same, will he think I am a serial killer?

29. Oh no, just smile and close your eyes.

30. He said he's about to cum.

31. What time is it again?

32. He's shaking like he's having a seizure, yes it's finally over!

Things People Think When The Sex Is Bad

Things People Think When The Sex Is Bad
12
7
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Most Helpful Girl

  • candy_41111
    20, 25.
    I think I felt something there.
    Maybe I can hurry this along if I moan
    I could be eating food right now.
    What do i have to do after this...
    Shoot how do I tell him I don't want to see him again after this.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • brain5000
    For me it was "What is that supposed to be? A bird? Dammit, why would anyone put a tattoo on her lower back? This is a fuck, not an art gallery opening!"
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

611
  • AleDeEurope
    When she asks you "do you like it?" and you're like:

    www.relatably.com/.../...a3da1daa3a8056ab656fa.jpg
  • ConsultantIsBack
    I think of a dog taking a massive shit sometimes.
    To last longer lol, weird right? Effective strategy tho.
    • Stacyzee

      Wow! I don't think I'll ever forget this :-O

    • FatherJack

      Don't forget the " doggy bag " & be a responsible owner !! hahaha !!

    • LionlyRose

      hahahaha omfg I thought I was the only one with random thoughts just to last longer, but this one is good!

    • Show All
  • BullyDawg
    Good Laws! Is she for real? Only been with a couple guys more like a couple hundie. jeasus what's that smell and accompanying sound? Gosh can you move hell I passed up a beer and a quiet nite for this?
  • chintita
    "26. Aw man! It's past four, American Idol is over!" -said no one ever
  • PippiL
    "OMG, why is he sweating so much? I need a raincoat."
  • vishna
    "Should I make sound to make him happy?"

    "Will it get better?"

    "This lazy fucker"

    "This selfish fucker"

    "Is he enjoying this?"

  • ObscuredBeyond
    Aaaand... you've just laid out (almost) every reason to never have casual sex.
  • I've had 1, 2, 5, 6, 8, 11, 12, 13, 14, 18, 19, 20, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31.
  • alfonsosloan45
    "He's not done yet?"- No, I am darling. Bring Dat Ass back to me!! Don't run. Where are you going beautiful?
  • LionlyRose
    hahaha I had fun reading this, I love you!

    I'll keep in mind 13 lol
  • sighnothing
    6, 8, 15, 18, and 24.
    • ManOnFire

      @sighnothing You had an affair? Lol.

    • @ManOnFire Yeah, I have.

    • ManOnFire

      Were you the one in the relationship? Or was he?

    • Show All
  • shortandsexy
    Don't forget "I don't even feel anything".
  • Becky01
    that sounds about right
  • TheSpartan
    Is bad sex only possible for women?
  • Stuckintime
    1. Am I even in yet? That is why condoms suck.
  • Anonymous
    wtf did i just read
  • Anonymous
    Turns out he or she had a dick and a vagina LOL!!!
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