Orientation is viewed as the main focus of a person's sexual identity.
On a purely superficial level this is understandable, but on a deeper, more profound level it only touches the surface, akin to skimming the skin off a custard without knowing the real taste.
I can relate, growing up in religiously stringent Ireland during the relative dark ages of the 1980's while feeling urges for both men, as well as women. It ensured an adolescence of loneliness, able to accept myself, but knowing any divulgence of my Bi-Sexual yearns would lead to ostracization characterised by acidic discrimination.Out of fear, I lived out my frequent dalliances with men on the sly, all while keeping the facade of a heterosexual.
Greater acceptance with time has muted most of the struggles associated with orientation. The current ages main stigma in forging and embracing sexual identity focusing on sexual urges, or lack of them, and the desire to stay true to self.
Never easy, with the toughest hang up accepting this part of your being. The struggle often intense, damning yourself for thoughts of promiscuity, the same as desires to be chaste. Thinking yourself strange for being overly adventurous or 'out there' as well as worrying if you are too inhibited.
Thoughts alone furrowing your brow before even indulging.
When you reconcile and accept yourself, outside elements impact clouding your sexual clarity. Labels such as 'normal' or 'weird' about sex ensure this. With it representing a virtual strangulating noose by adding in societal and religious norms, gender bias as well as pressure from family and peers.
All part of controlling us by imposing an archaic code of behaviour in a time when sexual freedom can, and should be embraced. Stymying all instincts while clouding with self-consciousness. You want to be true to you, but you are perpetually torn.
The reality when you cast aside all the existing stigmas imposed by self and outside forces is sex is natural. With it being your right to indulge as you please and on your terms. A 40-year-old virgin waiting to get married the same as a woman who gets off living out a fetish of Bukkake with a group of guys. A couple indulging in a once a week 'one and done' every bit as normal as ones frequently indulging in a swingers scene
It is all about ingraining respect, open-mindedness and consent as the basis of your sexual identity while evaporating the want to define 'normal' or 'weird.'