The Plight Of An Older Male Virgin

Anonymous

The Plight Of An Older Male Virgin

Over the past few weeks, I have been seeing the following posts from men and women on this site:

I am dating a 30+ guy, but I found out he is still a virgin

My friend is in his late 20s, and he is still a virgin

I am in my 30s, and I have never had sex

Those are the kind of posts I have been reading over the past few weeks, and the responses are sometimes supportive, but a lot of them are negative. It seems that society itself has a problem with men being older virgins.

When it comes to love and relationships, being a man is not easy. Why is that?

1. Women have all the power. They decide which guys will be able to sleep with them, which guys will be able to date them, etc, etc.

The Plight Of An Older Male Virgin

2. Women are more desireable than men. A woman just needs to look good, and she will have a lot of men swooning over her. With that being said, it is easier fo women to meet men, get into relationships and have a lot of sex. This is not the case for men.


3. Men have to do much more to attract a woman. Men need to have a certain style, certain personality/characteristics, a good job, good communication skills, intelligence, able to show dominance, etc, etc, etc. A lot of women have different prerequisites when it comes to men. Basically... a man who has money, has status in the community and is an effective communicator and leadership skills will have no problem getting sex (look at ceelbrities, for example).

The Plight Of An Older Male Virgin

If that's not bad enough, men are placed in 2 categories by society:

Mr. Thirsty:

The Plight Of An Older Male Virgin

If a man goes out looking for sex, talks to a woman and gets laid often... he is looked at as thirsty. As a result, this guy must be perverted, he is just like every other guy and he only thinks about sex and nothing else. This is how women typically look at men. A lot (not all) women think that if a man is talking to him, it must be to get laid. As a result, this makes men look bad.

The Creeper:

The Plight Of An Older Male Virgin

Most people assume that by age of at least 25, a man would have already had sex. If a man hasn't had sex by this time, something must be wrong with him. Women will typically start to wonder why you haven't had sex yet and a lot of them (not all) won't want to have sex with you... because their thought process is, "well, if other women don't want to have sex with him... why should I? There must be a good reason why women won't have sex with him."

Reasons Why Men Might Be Older Virgins:

Focused On Career Goals:

The Plight Of An Older Male Virgin

Let's face it... women can be a distraction and taking women out can cost a lot of money. There are men out there that actually care about their career, their finances and want the best for themselves. If a man is totally immersed in life and his mission, he is not going to focus on women and will most likely wait for the RIGHT WOMAN to come along... someone who shares the same goals as him.

Standards:

Yes, men do have standards! First of all, getting sex is a numbers game. If you talk to 30, random woman and you are not focusing on the quality of the women, you can probably get a few of them to have sex with you.That's the truth.

I have this one friend who has had sex with a lot of women and he gets laid once a week. When he shows me pictures of the women he has had sex with, they aren't very attractive or high quality women. He just likes to have sex and goes after what he can get at that time.

There are some men who are still virgins, because they don't go for the lower quality women that they can most likely have sex with. The men with standards try to go after women who they actually find attractive and are of higher quality... or their "dream girl"

For example (again... just an example)... a man who likes to go after quality women may try to get a woman like this in bed:

The Plight Of An Older Male Virgin

A woman who works out, has a nice body, nice face, is very adventurous, likes to have fun, is college educated and has a career. Okay... these are my key points for a dream woman XD XD... but you get the idea. If a guy continously tries topursue women who fit their "dream girl" and keeps striking out over and over and over again with these high quality women, they obviously won't get laid. However... a man with standards won't go after the women that are currently available to him (the lower quality women) and will contiue to try to get the higher quality women.

Too Shy To Meet Women

The Plight Of An Older Male Virgin

A man can be highly successful, has the looks, money and the status... but is stunting his own success with women by being shy. I know a lot of men out there who have good qualities, are smart, have great careers... but they are shy and reclusive. Since these guys are missing the "social skills", they have a hard time getting laid.

Why Should It Matter If A Man Is A Virgin?

Based on everything I said above, what does it matter if a man is a virgin? Each man has his own reasons.

Also... think about it this way - would you want a man who has had sex with a bunch of low quality women and doesn't car what kind of women he sleeps with? ... Or would you rather have sex with a man who has never had sex, might be inexperienced, but you can teach him to be 100% in tune with your body and needs?

The Plight Of An Older Male Virgin
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Most Helpful Guy

  • tyber1
    Women complain about being slut shamed but at least they have an option to just not have sex. Most men can't just decide he's going to have sex. Women at least have a choice in their stigma. They can get sex easy and they can turn it down even easier.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      Precisely

    • Men can get sex too if they lowered their standards.

    • tyber1

      @BuchitaBuchys they'd have to lower them pretty far. I know guys who do that. From what I have seen, the results are rarely worth it.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • BuchitaBuchys
    Of the 2 options you gave in the end, I am equally turned off by both of them.

    Also, why give women so much power? A lot of men act like it's the most grand thing in the world to get sex. Stop. Putting. Pussy. On. A. Pedestal.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      You're turned off by men who have standards?

    • Not that. I'm turned off by virgins. I'm equally turned off by promiscuity.

    • Anonymous

      Ah. Got it. I understand being turned off by promiscuity... but what turns you off about virgins?

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

617
  • Scrambledagain
    Women don't believe in this, they don't live in this world. I would say, go get a prostitute but you would be shunned by women anyway like you have a choice. There are tons of male virgins (not by choice... incels).
    • Anonymous

      "There are tons of male virgins (not by choice... incels)."

      That's very true. There's a lot more reasons for male virginity. I am curious to see what other responses I will get.

  • theus
    I was 22 when decided to finally lose my virginity. I have always be a somewhat attractive guy. I wasn't anti social at the time either. Men have to learn how to pursue women. Women have to look cute an pick the guy they want to date. When a man is a virgin into his early twenties he has made a commitment to being a virgin. I had plenty of opportunities to lose my virginity even before I was twenty. I was determined not to fall in love with my first. Well I didn't fall in love with her but we will forever remain close. I lost my virginity to a woman who had much more experience than me. It would have been nice to have meet a virgin and lost ours together but that didn't happen. However I am a better lover because of my first partner. I knew I would enjoy having sex. I never understood how addictive sex truly was until I lost my virginity. I went on to have some wonderful relationships and learn so much more about pleasing women.
    Women there are some unknown benefits to de-virginizing a man. A man who has never had sex does not have any STD's. He can also be molded into your perfect lover. Virgin guys are more determined to please. He may even be a natural without any experience. He will probably want a relationship at some point. A man who is an older virgin will definitely appreciate you for taking him.
    You will be sharing a moment with the guys not other woman will be able to share with him. Depending on the situation it could be highly erotic.. You will be able to watch a man lose his innocence inside of you. You will also be able to see his reaction as he feels the warmth of a woman for the first time.. I am told that feeling is incredibly empowering.. There is nothing that can compare to the warmth and relaxation of being inside of a woman. Feeling that for the first time is incredible. The only thing more erotic than the initial embrace is the release inside of her warmth.
    All men do not cum quick the first time we have sex. I didn't cum at all until I had sex a few times. I was too nervous. Some older virgins may have prepared themselves by reading a few books to understand sex better. Experience will always make a man a better lover but he might not be bad his first time.. I would keep in mind you may be passing up a wonderful opportunity.. I will also say you have nothing to lose if he isn't incredible the first time. He will probably get better in time. I would also imagine that you have had bad sex with experienced guys as well.
  • Rawrzz
    Totally correct. On the money on this post, I think. Especially the part "Women will think 'well if other women didn't want him, he must not be worth anything.' " That's exactly how female minds work, sub/consciously. This is also shown that males who are in relationships get hit on more than when they're not in a relationship. Women look and think "Wow, he got a woman that hot? He must really be worth something. I want him."

    I'd also add in the difference in value between men and women. On the 1-10 value scale a woman who is a 6 is not equal to a man who is a 6. She is worth an 8, and will often think she's worth an 11. This leads to average men only being capable of pulling below average women. All stemming from social and biological perceptions of women, women being the more valuable biological gender + occupation and accomplishment value. The only value a man has is that which he obtains through occupation and accomplishment. However, women have that + innate biological value.

    Further, as you've stated, women are judged based on their appearance. With cosmetic tools, they can increase their perceived attractiveness level, further boosting their own value. The result is that that woman who was a 6 is no longer equal to an 8: she's equal to a 9. In essence, men are fucked.

    I've gotten lucky a time or two and gone out with chicks who were waaaaaay beyond my league, though. Or maybe I underestimate myself. But, I do think there are exceptions, but what I've stated above is the general rule.

    Though, I don't know if I'd agree with the implicit statement that any guy who isn't a virgin by 25 has lowered his standards to get shitty women. I never lowered my standards. I only slept with chicks that I liked and was attracted to.

    This picture basically explains the dating game, in my opinion.
    images.duckduckgo.com/.../
  • Relentless_Hippie
    I didn't read the take but I think it's sweet if a man is a virgin. It's a beautiful thing and the most preferred in my eyes.
    • Anonymous

      Are you a virgin?

    • My boyfriend is actually my first and we plan on getting married. He is extremely inexperienced but I wasn't his first and it saddens me at times. He was only with two other people each just one time and it was way back when he was a kid. He regrets being with them and considers me his first because it's meaningful but I still wish at times I was actually his first just as he is mine.

  • LittleSally
    It doesn't matter. Everyone can be a virgin - it's something that happens. Not a huge deal, but some people may wonder how it happened - maybe that's a stranger story than the fact that it just didn't happen.
    But it's funny when men use the word 'pursue' - if they've never asked out a girl. they aren't pursuing her. xD
  • Bluemax
    What is a "low quality" woman in your opinion?

    Why are you having sex with women you aren't attracted to?

    Do you yourself meet the criteria that you set for women that you would be attracted to?
  • NenaLinda18
    To me it doesn't matter it would actually be a refresher for me. I also like the idea of him being pure and hoping that oneday he would make me the first person and hopefully only person he has ever been with. I kinda want to be with a virgin.
    • Anonymous

      Are you a virgin?

    • No although I feel like one... I haven't had sex in a really long time.

    • Anonymous

      Lol... then that wouldn't be fair to him XD XD! Anyway... when is the last time you had sex and how many partners? Just curious.

    • Show All
  • Bluefish
    It should matter when it was not his choice and for a lot of older male virgins that rings true. Women don't need to do much to get laid but for some men it can be a huge mountain to climb and in a few cases can be an impossible mountain.
    • Anonymous

      Very true

  • ConsultantIsBack
    Let's be real, older virgin guy chances are (altho, not 100%) that he's got some social-personality issues. I mean, let's just be brutally honest here.
    Same goes for older virgin girls too tho!
  • cth96190
    I have not been with a woman for almost 15 years. I wonder if that makes me a born-again virgin?
  • skeptic007
    can I ask all the older virgins a question why do you care what anyone thinks of the girl you are with

    think about!!!
    look when I was in high school I would only hook up with skinny girls that's it
    but there where some bigger girls I liked but I never really said anything cause of the stigma of ohh she is a big girl, ohh that's nasty, eventually I realized fuck what they think, they can say whatever the fuck they want I'm pulling girls there not, there standing in a corner talking about how there gonna get the HOTTEST GIRL EVER lol guess what it's been years there not getting shit
    they can barely get laid,
    I've had sex thousands of times

    my advice find a girl you actually like, I'm not talking about her looks that she has to be this model girl just find a girl you actually like and FUCK HER ALREADY YOU DUMBASSES
    • That's exactly what I'm saying. Took the words right out of my mouth. I think most guys like big girls but they won't admit it publicly.

      And I think of it like this, big girls are still females and they gonna gossip about your sex game. If it gets out there with good results, then other women are want to find out what's the fuss about and that's when you have them in the palm of your hand.

    • skeptic007

      @killerboots
      up word gets around especially if you are good at sex

    • @killerboots "most guys like big girls" i dnt know about that

    • Show All
  • Silver119
    Well, that's a load of rubbish tbh
    • Anonymous

      What's rubbish?

    • Silver119

      the take

    • Anonymous

      How so?

    • Show All
  • hazoplmeught
    how old or at least around what age are you?
    • Anonymous

      Lol... I'm not a virgin anymore. I am 25, I lost mine last year. I stopped trying to go after quality women and settled for women who were of lower quality... and now I have no trouble getting laid... but it's with women I'm not really attracted to.

    • So in other words, you're just settling?

    • Anonymous

      @bloodmountain1990 Pretty much. If you chase after women that will never be attracted to you, you are just setting yourself up for failure

    • Show All
  • loosekunt
    Being a Virgin at my age is not ideal
  • Anonymous
    U could say porn acts like a life support for many of us older virgins XD
  • Anonymous
    I'll be blunt... whoever's older than 20 and a virgin... he's a virgin by choice then...

    Unless prostitution's illegal in yer country... there's NO other excuse to be a virgin... NO... OTHER... EXCUSE...
  • Anonymous
    Yes, it's all true, I have the some of these problems... shyness, unrequited love, lack of self-confidence, missing the social skills...
  • Anonymous
    if she is a hoe that will red flag me for being a V i will reject her first int he first place. cause she is simply not the type of person i want to spent my life with... .
  • Anonymous
    Given that I'm a virgin, I expect that my future lover to be virgin as well... or at least married to me and genuinely remorseful of previous sexual contact.
    • Rawrzz

      "Remorseful of previous sexual contact." That's fucking hilarious. xD

  • Anonymous
    So, of all the reasons you mentioned, which ones were your top reasons for not having sex until 25?
    • Anonymous

      I actually lost my virginity at 24. Why?
      -In high school, only low quality women liked me. Women who were drug users, always in trouble, were out of shape, had low self-esteem... etc. I could of lost it in high school many times to these women... but I wanted to meet women who were of a higher quality.
      -I didn't have fun in college. I worked 3 jobs and went to school. Didn't have time to meet women
      -At 24... I got tired of being a virgin and fucked some random, out of shape woman I met at a club.. Then I had sex again with some other random, low quality woman who always constantly stated that men were never attracted to her.

    • Anonymous

      What are your qualities, and what kind of qualities are you looking for in women?

    • Anonymous

      I personally wouldn't give a second thought about a guy being a virgin. Maybe even like it.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    Hell I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21 due to lack of opportunities and went away to college that year. My first three years of college, I was at community college and the opportunities to meet women was very slim. Some girls acted like I was a 40 year old virgin though.

    My question is what is the stigma for being a relationship virgin? Like I've had sex but no relationships. I feel like people might see it as I'm a player or there's something wrong with me as to why no girl stuck around.
  • Anonymous
    I don't care at all. I'm 23 and still a virgin. I feel like a unicorn or something. I know it's unrealistic for me to expect a guy to be the same, or to have never had a girlfriend either, but I get extremely jealous and angry when I think of a guy who had loved someone before me. Especially since I've never loved anyone... I'm the same, focused on my career and have standards. I would actually find it attractive if a guy was a virgin given that I'm attracted to him in the first place.
    • It is perfectly normal to expect a virgin guy. I myself am a virgin male who is a virgin and I am holding out for that special woman. I would actually prefer a virgin woman because I know that she does not give into peer pressure, and is strong minded, and is safe. The only time that demanding that your partner is a virgin could be problematic is when you are not a virgin and demand a virgin.

  • Anonymous
    Some of this is true I'm 24 and I'm a virgin
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