The Stigma on Male Virginity

ManOnFire

The Stigma on Male Virginity

My brother is 25. And he is still a virgin. He doesn't hide this fact nor is he ashamed of it. And he's never been in any rush to lose it or see doing such as important. He's not preoccupied with his virginity or concerned about when he'll give it up - he basically has the attitude that it'll go when the time comes. I can say that I've always admired this about him, and admired him not caring a big deal about sex.

But other adult male virgins aren't so secure in their virginity, and I can understand why really. To be honest, I've really never known any adult virgins other than my brother. It could be that some guys I've known were virgins and I didn't know it, but I'm pretty sure based on the things that came out of their mouths and their behavior like the rest of us that they certainly weren't. So I've mostly just heard about adult male virgins but never known any, and I see them often on social networking sites like these. So I dedicate this as a special Take to you guys.

The stigma...

Although some people try to say that adult female virgins are scrutinized and ridiculed the most, that's really not true. Sure, they get called "prudes" and are expected to fuck because everyone's doing it, but still not to the extent of ridicule on virgin guys. Male virginity in adulthood is still seen as the bigger joke. Most people see it as more normal - or even attractive - for a woman to have little or no sexual experience even if she's an adult, but expect most guys to have already been around the block, back, and again. And there are plenty of those, but also guys who've never done it. I can understand why an adult virgin would try to hide it or be ashamed of it when people are gonna joke about why they think he's still celibate.

There are even studies these days trying to show that there are more virgin guys than virgin girls, and a lot of guys these days are thinking it's true. It's like popular culture and science is trying to in some way reduce male prowess and desperately prove that women are sexually superior or something.

If a guy is in his 20s or even 30s and has never had sex, most people have the ignorant, cliche idea that it's either because he's "afraid to talk to women," still "living in his mom's basement," or is in some way unable to get laid, when many times male virgins in adulthood are struggling with confusion and conflict from what I've learned talking to them: they want to give it up but are afraid of making a mistake; they want to give it up but were raised to wait until marriage and think they should; or they want to give it up but are worried it will be with the wrong girl or at the wrong time. And other times the guy really hasn't thought about a need to have sex until somebody said it should matter to him. Lacking confidence or being scared of talking to women is actually the case very little of the time. Many a time a man has lost his virginity through easy sex, and regretted it. People tend to think only women are emotional and conscientious about having sex for the first time and with who, but many guys feel the same way. There can be guilt or uneasiness about it.

Females also pretend they're not part of the stigmatization of male virginity, when they can actually be some of the worst people to criticize and joke about it. Females try to act like they're not involved in how male virgins are jeered at, saying it's guys who do that to each other, and pretending that a guy's virginity doesn't matter to them, but females are actually very much apart of the stigmatization. And they often have ignorant ideas that just because a guy is really horny and even expressive about it and what he's into that it must mean he's a virgin who's just desperate to get laid with a girl who will help him out. Some are like that, but most virgin guys generally do not make it known how much they want to have sex, so the desperate virgin scenario is more often a mythical stereotype.

Many females also act as if they think it's "sweet" that a guy wants to wait or isn't anxious to give it up, but even women eventually want sex with a guy and don't want to wait anymore. So it's convenient if he's not in a rush - if it's what she's comfortable with on her time - but if his desire to wait exceeds her patience, then it's not so sweet anymore. This is a reality that most women don't really admit to.

The bad-in-bed theory...

The Stigma on Male Virginity

Male virgins are also thought to be less desirable because of having no sexual experience or because of the idea that he's automatically going to be bad in bed the first time, while women virgins are usually seen as a perfect treat in the sheets. This is the difference in criticism towards male and female virgins. It comes down to an issue of experience.

Although a lot of women who have already had sex say it doesn't matter if a guy they meet is a virgin, it still does matter to a lot of other women. Just like how a virgin female is a novelty for some sexually experienced men, a non-virgin man is also a novelty for sexually experienced women. A virgin woman is still seen as sexy or desirable even if she has no experience, but a virgin guy is seen as less desirable for a woman because he "will cum quick" or "be awkward."

You even have women going on other sites asking how they can find out if a guy is a virgin! Particularly about a guy they're in a relationship with. They're so afraid of being with one they think will be awkward in bed that they're actually trying to find out! Needless to say most sites that answer say you really can't know if a guy is a virgin. One site I saw said you can tell if he's cautious about undressing a girl, doesn't know how to kiss, or isn't sure what to do to get started. How cliche! Lol. But even those authors admitted those aren't definite clues to a guy's virginity.

Sexually experienced women who don't want virgin men often don't think about the fact that although his first time with her may not be perfect, it improves after that. Nor does she consider that her having experience hasn't necessarily made her great in bed either, it just means she's seen a penis and has experience with it but is really just mediocre at best with guys in bed. What you don't often hear about are actually common cases where a woman who's been having sex since she was 18 or younger, had sex with an adult male virgin who actually went on to being better at sex than she is. And this is because things learned and experienced in adulthood often have a tendency to be executed better because the adult mind has a better grasp on it. He also may find out what his likes and needs are pretty quickly, that a more experienced woman isn't providing or may not be able to provide. Some sexually experienced women really are good in bed and learned from their experiences, but others aren't.

But just like sexual experience being more desirable in men, there are also guys who want a sexually experienced woman too. Again, it doesn't promise quality in bed. A woman who has sucked 8 or 10 dicks in her life often prides herself on "never having any complaints," when those guys were happy with it just because they still managed to cum, even though it could've been better. Or she gives decent head, but still not able to deepthroat like some other guys want or need. So on a flipside a less sexually experienced woman - or even a virgin one - can actually turn out to be very good in bed or can deepthroat when she didn't even know she could until she did it the first time.

What I do always wonder about women who have sexual experience and wouldn't want to date or sleep with a virgin guy is: if the guy lost it to some other woman and you found out later, would you want to sleep with him now that he's gained the experience?

I think that's a good question.

Frustration...

The Stigma on Male Virginity

So I have come to understand why being a virgin in adulthood bothers those guys, yeah. They feel bad when they know the rest of us around them are already doing it. They feel bed when a woman wouldn't be interested in them because they're virgin. And they feel bad when a woman they might like has already had sex and especially with a number of guys compared to him. They feel like they can't compare or won't be very good for her in bed.

The easy answer I could give is for them to just go out and get it over with already with a girl, but might not be what he wants. But I would tell a virgin guy to lose it with somebody he would really be into and feels a connection with even if she has had sex before you. Just don't let it bother you as long as she's not bothered by it. Move through it one step at a time.

Although I really hate using all the overused New Age, pop cult, Nazi-like, Caucasian college student terms like 'slut-shaming,' I suppose you could coin the term 'virgin-shaming' too. Both slut-shaming and virgin-shaming share similar abuse: a girl who sleeps around gets downed for it, but a guy who hasn't slept around at all gets downed too. Though one difference is that Hollywood doesn't make movies about sexually liberated women, but can make ones like The 40 Year-Old Virgin or others that revolve around overdone, stereotypes of shy, klutzy, geeky, virgin guys.

And honestly? At the end of the day, can't we just respect people? Why the hell does it matter if some guy has never used his dick? And does it really mean he's of any lesser value for not using it? These are the popular negative thought-processes of society that we really.....just......need to get over already.

The Stigma on Male Virginity
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Joc4Position
    Here's what I don't understand though. Some people seem to think that after you've had sex you'll "change". That you'll act different. I act the exact same now that I acted before I lost my virginity. Nothing has changed. I'm still shy. I'm still quiet. Aren't I supposed to be some kind of loud mouth outgoing person? I'm not. Even though I'm promiscuous I'm not. Maybe some guys are different, but I think some guys might be virgins even if you think they aren't. In any case it matters goose egg to me and apparently to you too.

    You're right. I hardly ever hear guys in real life say they are virgins and in desperation for pussy. Granted I don't hang around a lot of people. Still in my life span I haven't heard much if any of that. Online yeah I have, but not in real life.

    I like you point about how people often have the double standard of women being afraid of sex the first time but the guy is supposed to be comfortable even if it's his first time. So many people are like "Well the guy should know what he's doing and take his time." It's these same people who put sex in the hands of females only when it benefits the female.

    My sexual performance hasn't really "improved". It just is what it is. It has an identity. Just like who I am personality wise. Just like there are some females who will like my personality there are some who won't. Same when it comes to sex. Virginity really plays no role in that. I have sex the same way now that I did when I first lost my virginity.
    Is this still revelant?
    • ManOnFire

      Oh. My. God. This is why I wish like FUCK we could give best opinions on myTakes because you would so get it, man! *looks at your nuclear mushroom cloud in awe from my window*

    • Thanks? Hahaha. Just being honest, man.

    • ManOnFire

      @Joc4Position And it was from the heart and brilliantly intelligent. Wow again.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • HookingSwan
    It's also something that angers me or rather confuses me. How can people still be so willing to be blinded by society's, more often than not wrong, stereotypes.

    I have always assumed that the majority of virgin adult guys would have the same reasons for being a virgin as me, which would be the fact that they are not fussing about it a lot and just living their lives. There are more things to life than sex. And if you haven't found the right person or oportune moment to lose your virginity, you shouldn't have to be ridiculed by it. Rather you should be aplauded for not giving into sme silly and senseless pressure from what other people think is normal for your life.

    It is your life, after all. Fuck everything else. It is YOU, yes YOU that matters. And it's best to lose your virginity under the right circumstances and with the right person, than to come to regret it later.

    I hate when people shame virgin guys. And I'm sure that many of them could be great at 1st try or, like you said, after a few practice runs.

    I also agree that many women can be superficial to the point of contributing to create this shame surrounding male virginity.

    I say more power to YOU, for being your own person. More power to YOU, for not settling for less than you deserve.
    Is this still revelant?
    • We are all just people. Humans, with out insecurities, expectations, desires... We are far more complex than a label (virgin or experienced). We should starting each other like human beings.

    • our*

    • start treating*

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1325
  • Splintercell
    I'm still a virgin at 27 and get complements about it. I don't care what society says, I care about my future wife thinks about me saving myself for her. That's what is important to me. The reason I never went that other route is because that young lady is someone's daughter, Cusin, granddaughter, niece, and future wife to another man. This is my reason,
  • Relentless_Hippie
    I think male virginity is a beautiful and special thing. Anyone's virginity is. Your brother sounds like a dream, more guys should be like him because he's wonderful.
    • ManOnFire

      Hey, is that you Cookies_AndMilk? Why the name change? Lol.

    • Lol it is. Honestly I wish I didn't, but I deleted my previous account. I needed to get away for a little bit and collect my thoughts and by getting rid of my access to this place I was able to do that. I'm just mad I can't get my username back haha.

    • ManOnFire

      Ohhhh. Hey, I've done that before and it does help sometimes.

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  • theus
    There are few things that will change your life more than losing your virginity.. I didn't lose mine until I was twenty-two and I didn't tell her until I was about to have sex.. She was very good lover and I am thankful I lost in to her in many ways. Although that was many years ago and I have gained a great amount of sexual experience I understand how guys think at that age.. I didn't start having sex until my early twenties due to my religion. I got so sexually frustrated that I made a decision to either commit to celibacy until marriage or get laid. When I was 22 I knew I wasn't ready for marriage and If practiced celibacy I might rush into a marriage. This may have been a good decision because I didn't get married until I was 35. I also understood even at 22 that the older I got the harder it would be to get laid. I wouldn't recommend sex before marriage because It best within marriage. I would offer a little bit of advice to any man who is an older virgin. Its your life don't let anyone make a decision as to who and when you share that moment. Guys do not forget their first either. I would also say to any of you reading this you will possibly become addicted to sex on some level. You many not bar hop and hit on every woman. However you will make sex a very big priority from that point forth. Women have different ideas on devirginizing guys. Some would not want to even think about sleeping with a virgin. Others love taking guys virginites.. Some women would love to own a moment that no one else could share with you. The stigma comes in the fact that a man must learn to be a good lover to please a woman. I got my exgirlfriend off four times the first time I had sex. I didn't even cum until we had sex several times later. In time I learned how to please a woman in many different ways. This ultimately made me a better lover. It also lead to a greater understanding of the true power of sex. A loving sexual relationship will form a tight bond between you and you woman. I would date until you found someone who loves you and make a decision from that point. You will remember your first. I would not marry for lust nor would I give up to just any girl at that point.. I am just sharing some advice from personal experience.
  • stardust101
    I like this take. There's so much peer pressure all around us indicating what we should do or not do when it comes to making our own choices. Peer pressure in adults is probably more humiliating than peer pressure in teens and young children and there are many forms to it. However, peer pressure is still peer pressure. At least with kids, they're learning how to be a part of the community when they make right choices, yet for adults who have already learned to be a part of community, and they make right choices, they're quickly labeled as non conformists if their choices don't fit in with the status quo. It takes strength and character to not conform to peer pressure if it goes against one's convictions and/or beliefs. It's degrading that a woman tries to find out whether a man is a virgin or not and then discards him when she finds out he is. No wonder your brother is still a virgin, it's a great way to weed out all the women who won't accept him for who he is. Congrats to him. He deserves to be with someone who wants to be with HIM and not just for another number to add to her list. I suspect from your "my take" that this sort of peer pressure and stigmatization on a man is different than for a woman who's a virgin. Before I lost my virginity, I experienced all sorts of peer pressure in high school but I never gave it up until I found the right man. Turned out he was a loser and He wasn't the right man and I wish I had waited longer. I enjoyed reading your article.
  • somebodysaycheese
    Your clueless meme though... R. I. P Brittany Murphy. Yea, their is a difference between someone , specifically a man who chooses to remain a virgin and one who can't get a girl mostly because he gives off a creeper vibe. And why i say their is a difference , male virgins who want sex tend to go on a shooting spree vs those who choose to remain virgins.
    • Maybe the creeper vibe is really the "inexperienced" vibe and society has made it into a bad thing. I really doubt virginity has that much of an effect on whether or not someone becomes a mass shooter. On the flip side. If they do become a mass shooter maybe it's because they are told their entire life ( gettting worse as they get older) that they are creepy scummy perverted trash who no one will ever love.

    • ManOnFire

      @somebodysaycheese "male virgins who want sex tend to go on a shooting spree vs those who choose to remain virgins." - Did you read the whole Take? I stated that most virgins who want sex typically do not make that known to people, that's the stereotype. And virgins who want sex can also be ones who want to remain virgin until they find the right person and moment to do it.

    • your literally restating everything i said. ITs not a sterotype that virgins who want sex and can't get it go on a shooting spree. Because most male shooters have manifestos of being virgins and hating women for it.

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  • timeversestears
    I really appreciate this take because I didn't think others felt like this. I have great admiration for a guy who isn't obsessed with getting laid, doesn't make it the focal point of his life ande stays true to himself rather than going along with the crowd. It's a very difficult thing to do in our over-sexualised society.
    • Yep, some people obsess over it like its just as mandatory to live as eating and sleeping.

  • MoonlitSonata
    As 27 year old virgin this resonated with me. I have to avoid sex conversations in the work place because once people find out your a virgin they have to fit in the virgin jokes whenever possible. I'm not in a rush, and I am not ashamed, but I do have to take actions to avoid being made fun of.
    • ManOnFire

      I absolutely understand where you're coming from. I support you in keeping that personal and not letting them know. *high five*

  • bbch25
    I like your thoughts, I can't entirely comment much on what it feels like to be a virgin in your 20s, especially a male.
    I avoid trying to make anyone who is a virgin still feel bad, I respect the choice to keep it or for whatever reason they are still one.
    But, as I said on the other post, for ME, I like guys that have experience, because I know I don't have that much. And I suppose I find it sexier when the guy is taking control and he knows what he's doing. But that is a sexual preference for me then, it's a turn on. It's not (in my mind) about being against a certain type of person though. But I can see how it may come off that way.
    I met a guy about your brothers age who is also a virgin, and he's a nice guy, but all these girls suddenly started pointing out girls in the room he should get with and I didn't like that. It's like they felt sorry for him and it wasn't a choice, and we have no idea why he was still a virgin. So I do agree that while girls are seen as "strong, not slutty" etc etc, guys are seen as unmanly. Neither of which may be true. I know plenty of girls who may not have had sex, but they've done about everything else with 100 guys, and to me that doesn't mean they're innocent and pure angels (but that's a bit off topic I think).
    • ManOnFire

      How do you think you would feel if a guy/guys didn't want you because you don't have much experience?

    • bbch25

      I would understand why. That's part of why I was honest with my boyfriend when we started. Because he's been through his inexperienced phase I wanted him to know that I am not experienced and that maybe he wouldn't be interested in that.
      I like tall guys, some like short. I like experience, some may not or may not care. I accepted if it bothered him then I may as well say it sooner because it's a fact, not going to lie about it. He didn't care.

    • But like I said in my opinion, nothing has changed for me. I'm experienced and sex for the first time is the same as it was the last time.

      Virginity has nothing to do with dominance.

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  • melmel1
    Nice take :)
    And I would like to add that some of the best sexual encounters I've ever had in ny life have been with virgin males (more than experienced men) bc they will actually listen to what you want and like. Also they are always eager to learn, which is always the best :)
    So cheers !!! :D
  • MarkRet
    I did a Take called Virgin Shaming - My Story. I had to put up with all kinds of ridicule about being a virgin. They actually thought it was entertaining. After I lost my virginity, the ridicule stopped immediately. I guess they had to go find somebody else to make fun of.
  • Eva22167
    I don't see any problem with a guy being a virgin or a girl. If they haven't had the chance or don't want to have sex that has nothing to do with me. I've slept with virgins who were very good from the beginning and virgins who were not that great. Just because they aren't expedrienced doesn't mean they are goin to be awkward or bad.
    B
  • John_Doesnt
    Your bro sounds really confident. Unfortunately I don't have that confidence to admit I'm a virgin to everybody.
  • SüßeJäger
    I was a virgin till I was 25. I was shy in my teens and then later, I was intending to wait until I was married but I didn't. It just happened. My girlfriend at the time was amazing and so hot. Black hair and big blue eyes damn.
  • Decentguy
    im 24 and still a virgin and i dont really care what anyone else thinks.
  • glock33sig357
    I lost mine at 25 years, from the age of 15 i masturbated got caught and got humiliated for it by family. Women i work around when they found out i was a virgin laughed and told me" They're not teaching " and brushed me off, and they were some i really liked but the fact that i was a complete noob to sex & relationships made me the but of jokes when the topic came up and the unforeseen erections i had made me look extremely thirsty so i got a professional woman to lose it with. And i enjoyed it as risky as it was it took the edge off and eventually the jokes and ridicule didn't bother me until it stopped.
    • ManOnFire

      Thanks for sharing. Yes, women are some of the worst about male virgins, if not THE worst.

  • SunsetRose
    No one should be shamed for their sex life or lack of sex. I'm a virgin and my boyfriend is a virgin. I'll be a virgin until marriage.
    • Exactly, even as a non virgin dry spells still happen. It's like should I be ashamed or feel down on myself until the next time I get laid?

  • Satisfyd
    Society puts pressure on men to be good and experienced at sex from the start. The longer men are virgins if not by choice can have psychology repercussions.
    • What psychological repercussions? Not that it applies to me but I just never heard that.

    • Satisfyd

      @bloodmountain1990 low self esteem, confidence issues. Guy could crawl into a shell and never come out. Also depression. Not being accepted by society could cause someone to be suicidal.

    • True. I just think it's absurd how much people put sex and losing your virginity on a pedestal. I mean sex is fun but even after losing your virginity, dry spells still happen.

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  • Johnagain
    I LOVE this take! Well said... thank you and may I quote you on a couple of points you made? "People tend to think only women are emotional and conscientious about having sex for the first time and with who, but many guys feel the same way." -With that oxytocin level change in men acting to influence them to be more into "their girl" & with a lot of (not all) women using men to play them right into the hands of railroading or entrapment... it's hard NOT to see how men are "the more emotional ones that REALLY fall in love," as my father said.
    Also, you said, "It's like popular culture and science is trying to in some way reduce male prowess and desperately prove that women are sexually superior or something." Yeah. What the f#@K is the dealing with that? Have you noticed a trend of modern culture (American culture, that is), and the media to shame or desecrate the character of men? I do. I don't like it. I'm here to fight back at that.
    • ManOnFire

      ANOTHER good response. Very true. I do kind of think men are more emotional about love because women just often like the idea of BEING IN LOVE, whereas when a man really cares about a woman and really wants to connect, he does.

  • james_beau
    Interesting Take. I do agree that it doesn't matter if your a virgin or not. There is nothing wrong with wanting to wait for the right person.
  • ChromAzonyx108
    When I was in college, a few guys asked me if I was a virgin. I said 'yeah' because I didn't think it was that big of a deal. They were like "wow, I don't think I'd be able to do that." Um, what? lol
  • esparc
    I'm 28 and still a virgin, the main reaction I've received is disbelief. Then again this might also be linked to the fact that I only started masturbating last year.
    • What made you start?
      Personally I've never done it.

    • esparc

      @QuestionMan Curiousity mainly... I'll warn you... it's addictive and takes up a lot of time.

  • Bluefish
    I like your take but i agree with the first male comment on here. The longer a man leaves it the more risk there is that he will become mentally ill, angry and in some cases violent. Women don't have this problem
    • ManOnFire

      A virgin man becomes that way only if he allows it be.

    • Bluefish

      @mytakeowner. Yes a lot of it is but then a lot of it is external factors too. Look at the current events... for example the horrific bombings that happened in Belgium... really sad but i was watching a documentary about the bombers and although they had control on their actions... a lot of it was external too with the way they were excluded from society, unemployed etc which was a cocktail for what lead to their radicalisation. A virgin man can control his actions but when he is sorrounded by continious messages that he is worthless, hearing women talk about how they pleasure guys all the time and feel so out of place from society can lead to things that are out of his control.

    • ManOnFire

      @Bluefish In some sense I can understand that frustration, and guys feel bad if a woman has experienced sex and he hasn't. But the majority of shooters and bombers have usually already had sex or had girlfriends or wives who they themselves didn't get why the guy just went off. I think when the media just focuses on the ones who weren't getting laid that it gives an image of that being the case more times than it really is.

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  • the_rake
    So, I read through some of the female comments on here about how willing they would be to accomodate a male virgin and so forth. Maybe for some of these girls, it's the truth but for the vast majority, it most likely is not. Think about it: if late in life involuntary male virgins were considered as desirable as their experienced counterparts, then they would probably not be virgins for very long, hence there would not be 'late in life involuntary male virgins'. The truth is, that after a (non-religious) woman has lost her virginity and gained some experience, she simply finds male virgins undesirable. That is because she is genetically programmed to find experienced alpha male hunter-types that have the ability to conquer many women attractive.

    Maybe the reason women lie about this stuff on here is because they want to appear as the virtuous sex, or maybe the reason is because they don't want to admit their flaws. I don't know. The truth is... that they are lying.
  • abundantlyrich
    virginity is just virginity... why people love to make a fuckin deal out of it...
  • IceEverest
    I am 20 and a virgin.
  • Anonymous
    Basically the reasons why I sometimes hate women, which is because of this ridiculous hypocrisy from them that you mentioned. I thought women were about having romantic sex, not casual sex and yet WE'RE the fucking pigs who only want sex?
  • Anonymous
    Even though I never cared about it, I kept having question "Why am I still a virgin?" because of some whiny guys. But you know, after interacting with more girls I feel more confident about my virginity. Girls seriously don't care about it. Also they notice emotional side of it; the reason why I'm still virgin (I'll lose it only to the girl I sincerely like). Their comments give relief and confidence. Somehow girls notice this thing in guys but guys don't. Even thought they have same view as me, they see it as bad thing.
  • Anonymous
    Lol I was a 26 year old virgin until just last year. I said f**k it, I'm tired of being a damn virgin, and I started sleeping with multiple escorts. I lost my virginity by having a threesome with a couple of escorts. I dont regret it at all! Female virgins though should cherish their gift
  • Anonymous
    I agree. There is nothing wrong with waiting for a special person (not necessarily the one, but someone you want to share that moment with).

    It's totally down to personal choice, and personal circumstances. Some people just don't have an environment with lots of women in it to begin with. Certain uni's have skewed ratios, a heavy workload (resulting in a lot of pressure and less time to be partying) and the girls there may not be physcially to their liking and may not be personable e. g. rude/arrogant etc.

    Sex shouldn't be about just doing it to get it done with or for the sake of it, but about doing it to enjoy it with someone you feel something with.

    Great take. Doesn't matter if your first time is at 17, 27, 37. Make sure it's special. Better to have quality sex which will feel much much much better and give you way more satisfaction.
  • Anonymous
    Losing your virginity is overrated. I enjoy sex but when I lost it at 21, I felt no different and was like that's it? It doesn't define anyone, but yeah the whole stigma of being a male virgin or inexperienced is that there's something wrong with you if you're one by a certain age.

    Having said that, even though I'm not a virgin, what about the stigma of being a relationship virgin? I've dated plenty, had sex, but no real relationship? I tend to avoid past relationships talk because of that.
    • ManOnFire

      You ALSO make a good point.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks. Another thing people don't realize is that being experienced doesn't inherently mean being good. Just like attraction, it's all subjective. You could be a good lay to one and a bad lay to another. It's gonna be different with each person.

      What does matter is patience and willing to learn when first having sex with each person as everyone's pleased by different things.

    • ManOnFire

      Exactly.

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  • Anonymous
    who said i've never used my dick? i pee with it pretty well. well it all boils down to not waiting till marriage in modern society. sluts of either gender seek other sluts. inexperience people are inexperienced thats no stereotype. well noone should give a fuck what others do with their genitals though and those that do project their own subtle guilt and insecurities. as for women they are a huge and cruel part of the virgin shaming. i've seen it first hand. not all of them but a good portion... .
  • Anonymous
    Yes, it's true, unfortunately :(
  • Anonymous
    I think it's amazing he's a virgin and a girl will like it... I think people should save themselves for the special one. It's cute
  • Anonymous
    I was a 22 year old virgin a long time ago. And when I admitted it to my first girlfriend as we were getting frisky, she was aghast and shocked. She convinced me not to to go all the way to home plate with her that night because she said it would be better if she went on birth control and I lose it without the condom. 5 days later she breaks up with me saying she can't handle the responsibility. It scarred me for life, and I kept my virginity a secret to the girl I actually lost it to; she never knew.
  • Anonymous
    Dude, your brother sounds freaking amazing! I love people who don't rush stuff, own it but don't dwell on it. That is a great character trait to possess in my opinion.
  • Anonymous
    I really love this myTake post. It's very informative and insightful.

    I am a 25-year-old virgin. No oral sex. No vaginal sex. No anal sex. No sexual penetration or contact in any way, shape, or form. Not even kissing or French kissing. I have never been in a romantic or sexual relationship, and the people I tend to hang out with are my Mom and Dad. In some ways, I am quite thankful that I am a virgin. I hear stories all the time of my classmates getting STIs, like gonorrhea, and I smile smugly, "Well, at least I have one less thing to worry about." Additionally, I tend to be very traditional-minded. For me, I just want to have a "normal life", which means doing expected things of my age group. Since I associate sex with reproduction very strongly, I plan to have sex when I'm between 30-40 or when I'm ready to reproduce. My personality may also be a factor to my virginity, as I tend to act very childishly and not really know how to act in a sexual manner. You may think it's obvious or easy to act sexually, but for me, it is neither easy nor obvious. But the most part about my virginity is that I just don't stress over it. I don't have the peer pressure that other young people do, so I never feel any peer pressure to have sex early.
    • ManOnFire

      Well said :-)

    • Satisfyd

      I do disagree of planning sex only for reproduction. There are many other great benefits to sex.

  • Anonymous
    Just out of curiosity, why didn't your brother go out and have sex during his teens? You know, since everybody does it because of peer pressure, lust, the hook up culture, etc? What is the reason for men to hold back?

    I just want to understand this because for men sex can be a merely physical thing.
    • davepetef

      Never forget that just because the majority is on the hunt for sex, not ALL are. I personally hate the idea of sleeping around other than the fantasy of it. It is hard to find other people who also want sex to be meaningful/passionate

    • W31rd0

      Some people may not have the peer pressure, lust or the hookup culture around. Some people may surround themselves with like-minded, wholesome folks who don't have sex at such an early age. So, the peer pressure reinforces being virgin.

    • Anonymous

      @W31rd0 I understand, but I want men's perspective on this because it is uncommon/unusual. Especially when they are not religious + they are attractive and still choose not to rush things.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    If a guy is a virgin past a certain age, like 25 for example, he should hide it for his own Good
    • ManOnFire

      Yeah, that's SORT OF what I meant.

    • maybe thats best. unless he can be sure that he can trust the girl he's with. which Id hope he could...

    • @HookingSwan good point.

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