5 Reasons He Doesn't Want To Be Your Friend


Not a take that tries to instruct or offer advice. Simply my observations from both myself and other guys i've talked with.

*Note: This does not apply to ALL guys. This is a trend that i've noticed. If it doesn't resonate with you then don't discard it.

1. He's horny

When a guy is horny and isn't in to being a player, he may often try really hard to get into a relationship with any girl chemistry be damned. When he's told no he doesn't really feel bad. He simply is like ok and moves on hoping that if he sprinkles a lot of seeds in the garden one will eventually have to bloom for him. Rejection to him a matter of arithmatic and only addition at that. Girls shouldn't feel bad for saying you don't feel a spark but SHOULD be upfront because he's not keen on sticking around to talk about movies or vacation spots or favorite music with you without sex happening sometime in the future.

2. He's on a love saga

Like Ted from HIMYM or Ross from Friends, he's actually trying to find that right woman and sees each one as a quest. If you end the quest, he's finished. He may not take the rejection as well, but you're helping him on his journey by letting him know where the dead ends are.

3. He's macho

Guys don't have straight female friends. To have female friends makes you a wuss. How can you stand to be friends with a girl who wanted to have other guys do her over you? This is the thought of many a macho male. He may honestly be fine with you and like hanging with you but machoness is machoness.

4. You were never interesting to him

Some guys have the gift of being super physical with any person and this helps tremendously in leading to sex. Other guys have the gift of being able to gab with any person but this often helps them to the friend zone. He can laugh with you, he can have deep conversations with you, he can cry with you but...he can do that with anyone. If sex is off the table he has to admit, you're kind of boring...

5. He's insecure

He has taken your rejection, one girl out of millions, as a sign of his value and as such he feels valueless when he's around you. This is the guy I most try to help on this site as it's a sad sight to have to witness. He has no personal purpose no personal sense of values and respect for himself that makes him feel worthy even if you don't agree. He doesn't understand that it isn't about agreeing or disagreeing since it's true you feel that way. It's about not caring. Since he doesn't understand that he's in a mental prison of emotional flagellation. Best to just let him suffer silently...

5 Reasons He Doesn't Want To Be Your Friend

5 Reasons He Doesn't Want To Be Your Friend
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Most Helpful Guy

  • godfatherfan
    Women need to understand that straight men and straight women are NOT FRIENDS. They can be Friendly however. Guys keep women around as options. If both were single, and the woman offers sex, 99.9999999% of men will take her up on it. That is not Friends. I laugh every time a woman says "I have guy friends" HAHAHAHAHA.
    Is this still revelant?
    • pavlove

      yes agree

    • My best friend is a guy and we are both in long term relationships, my boyfriends best friend has been a girl since high school. It is 100% possible to be good friends with the opposite gender and have no sexual attraction.

    • pavlove

      @In-sight-ful lol him having a girlfriend doesn't mean he's not sexually attracted to you whatsoever.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • LittleSally
    Let me guess - you're No.1 on this list? haha (Conclusion from all your mytakes.)

    I agree. I've had many opportunities for guy friendships that never panned out. These were the reasons, surely. I can't think of others. :(
    Is this still revelant?
    • pavlove

      haha do i come off horny in my takes?

    • Kinda... But not to say that's a bad thing... Your No.1 just sounds like most guys who at least try something instead of just complaining whilst doing nothing at all.

    • pavlove

      lol I don't know if to feel insulted or complimented

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • ObscuredBeyond
    I guess I'm the Saga Journeyman, but you left out a motive: wanting to please the family.

    I've been in that situation a lot in the past. I used to hear my folks speculate a ton about when they would become grandparents. I used to hear my grandparents act nervous about whether or not there would be any male great-grandchildren to keep the family name alive.

    So to be unable to get a girl to stick around and show genuine interest, to me at the time, felt like I'd let down the whole family. Failure at love felt like I'd dishonored the family legacy. My folks have since tried to advise me not to look at things that way.

    Frequently, I would analyze my approaches, and look for anything I could tweak that might improve my odds. Not only did it seem like nothing worked, but most of the girls that I approached were too rude to even warrant a follow-up.

    Perhaps it didn't help that I was always most attracted to the Damsel in Distress, without always doing homework on why she was so distressed.
  • ArchDruidMordred
    Right, I'm gay and a wuss because I have a lot of straight female friends. What if we just don't like each other that way? Doesn't mean I'm a weak person.
    • pavlove

      i'm saying that's how some guys think not how i think or how you should think

  • sp33d
    If I'm after sex then that's what it is. Why should I want to be friends with someone just because? Who's she to me?
  • Dim_121
    You forgot to mention that he might just be sick of listening to your problems without getting anything in return except to be loyally by your side.
  • John_Doesnt
    That boy is still in a sweet situation. Cause any day he could workout and come back to those chicks looking buff and having a dick enhancement surgery of like 10".
  • NexAngelus
    im sorry I've had hot girl friends and even when i was very young, all i could thing about being around them was playing with their boobs... we are friends after all and friends play ball... lol. that is serious, but on a nother note, what do they bring the table that a guy would want to be friends with them? i get extra drama... i have to control myself from smacking their boobs... they dont do anything i do... see where i am going here. what do i get out of having a girl.. friend? i mean an actual girl_friend u put up with her schinanigans and granted she puts up with mine, but we are both getting a lot from each other. what does a friend level get? NOTHING, I've seen this and tried to defeat this time and time again, and each time its the same exact thing. the drama... the trying to control myself and they are boring...
  • Nik1hil
    Is that a boy...
    And shit... That dumb ass is outside the water...
    What a moron I would slowly slide in...
  • rescuemyheart
    I thought the boy was an ugly girl for a second xD
  • CancerianMan81
    nobody has a right telling a person who they should love and who not to love say for intense that I look at a girl and we start talking and we get a friendship up she decides to say i don't want this guy and says that she doesn't want to be in a relationship and don't know if she ever will it ain't her place to tell him he shouldn't be in love with her that's his choice to make not her see when a girl does that she's basically saying that she doesn't value herself as much as she wants herself too nor is it right to manipulate him cause that's basically what she's doing
  • Sixgun77
    I'm parts one to three (anyone get that reference?)
    1 yes, the math. There are tons of rejections so, I have to ask out lots of women before anyone will say yes. Although I DO need chemistry, sex alone does not a relationship make.

    2. Yes, this. Especially this.

    3. Women I know say I'm very masculine and macho. However, I do have a couple of female friends. However, I'm not attracted to them in the slightest, no desire there at all. That's the only reason that works. We just get along and are into the same stuff.
  • SunsetRose
    Oh Ted...
    • pavlove

      who the hell is ted?

    • SunsetRose

      Haaaave you met Ted? Lol I forced myself to watch several seasons of HIMYM because an exboyfriend loved it. I never liked Ted and his quests.

    • pavlove

      ohhhhh right

    • Show All
  • abundantlyrich
    Average people do this. Poor control.
  • PizzaGuy22
    Ted LMFAO
  • theegreat017
    I, alas, am turning misogynistic
  • CBryan
    Friendzone seems kinda nice right about now..