Anal Sex: Why I Pretend To Be An Anal Virgin With Every Guy I Date

cloudy

Anal Sex: Why I Pretend To Be An Anal Virgin With Every Guy I Date

When it comes to sex, I’m an open book. BDSM, threesomes, exhibitionism, sex tapes, the list goes on and on. I’m down to try any fantasy, and I’m not afraid to share that with my partner. I think the only way to have a sound relationship is to be open, whether that means sharing past experiences or future fantasies. That being said, the only lie I’ll ever tell is that I lost my anal virginity.

You may wonder why I’ll happily share details with my boyfriend about my girl-on-girl fling in the past, but lock up my backdoor experiences during long-term relationships, but what I’ve learned is that “anal” is the holy grail of sexual experiences. Whether it’s because so many girls refuse to try it, or perhaps simply because it’s a new hole they get to penetrate, but guys want an anal virgin, and that’s what I give them.

You see, most guys don’t expect to find a virgin girl in her thirties. Though most don’t care that you’ve slept with other guys before, they don’t always want to know the details. From what I’ve learned in my relationships, if a guy learns you HAVEN’T tried something, they will make it their goal to try that with you. It doesn’t mean they want to cross your boundaries, but they find it exciting and special to share a first with you.


I have always loved sex in every form, so satisfying my partner’s fantasies always turns me on. To me, exploring many fetishes is simply spicing up “regular sex” - it’s simply dressing up, trying new positions, or getting it on in new locations. I love it as much as he loves it, so getting kinky always hits the spot! However, anal sex involves something new. It’s crossing into foreign territories that many see as taboo. Though I would never lie and claim to be a virgin, I see no harm in keeping my anal experiences my little secret.


I’m sure many of you will think this is wrong, but keeping this one specific sexual act off limits holds a certain power. This doesn’t mean I’m manipulating him, but simply adding a little mystery to our sexcapades. Besides, if I give into all of my boyfriend’s fantasies early on in a relationship, it takes away from the buildup and anticipation. Everyone has secrets, and this is mine. What’s yours?

Anal Sex: Why I Pretend To Be An Anal Virgin With Every Guy I Date
61
25
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous
    I see your point and it has merit. When I was single, I had a rep in the scene of "kinkyfying" vanilla women. I found that if I got things going in the relationship and then talked to them about what I wanted, they were fascinated by their submissive nature, often not realizing it was there before. When i comes to anal sex, it's one of my very favorite sexual things. Men want anal sex for different reasons. I want it first to dominate and second to satisfy the sadist in me. They have all agreed to try it with me, even if they had an awful experience with it before. I'm a courtly, polite gentleman until the clothes come off and then I'm a very dominant sadist. They learn that I can sodomize them without it being too painful until they are ready to submit to a painful rectal reaming which they love.

    Lying about it seems pretty harmless as long as you are willing to go there. I'm esp fond of forceful, overpowering fantasies where I pin her down, spread her legs with mine, and use my weight to drop it all in one stroke, burying it balls deep while she struggles.
    Is this still revelant?
    • You are my kinda girl! " I'm esp fond of forceful, overpowering fantasies where I pin her down, spread her legs with mine, and use my weight to drop it all in one stroke, burying it balls deep while she struggles."

    • Anonymous

      @Smmyskittles Glad to hear it unless my literal mind misses some sarcasm.

    • Aww, sad they changed us back to our genders. Was funny while it lasted.

      For actual sex, hell yes I mean it. Anal, nah, not my cup of tea.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • somebodysaycheese
    Of he gets excited over a poo hole... then he watches to much porn.. anal is not special at all.
    Is this still revelant?

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

Loading...

What Girls & Guys Said

2460
  • coachTanthony
    My deep dark secret is that... I cut the crust off my PB&J's... there you happy now? :+)
  • normalice
    Personally, if I was with a girl who said she never tried anal, I would just assume she wasn't into it. If somehow we got into a relationship anyway and she asked me to do it with her, I would be elated, but that's when I would get suspicious - if she wanted to try it, there is no chance that none of her past boyfriends wouldn't have tried it with her.
    "hey, honey, want to try some falafel?"
    "what? did somebody say anal? I heard anal! Let's do anal.."

    I guess it would be possible that it was a recent interest she developed. But I've had anal with girls who have never tried it before. The amount of foreplay/preparation borders excessive in such cases. If I was with a girl who claimed to had never done anal but yet I'm balls-deep in her butt within an hour, I would definitely be skeptical. Though, again, I might just assume she's a 'natural,' but really I probably wouldn't think too much about it. If she likes it in the butt, that's rare and precious enough. The idea that she was an anal virgin, while admittedly kind-of a turn on, would pale in comparison to the fact that she wants it in her butt. If somehow I was given the choice between a girl who knows (from experience) that she likes anal and an anal virgin who claims she might like it, all other things equal, I would go with the girl who knows she likes it.

    But, that's just my opinion..
  • godfatherfan
    Why anyone talks about past sexual experiences I will never understand. but if you do, and your talking about all this outlandish shit, most guys are not going to believe you never did anal. But whatever. to pretend something like that isn't hurting him. but if he finds out your lying about something so silly, he is always going to wonder what else your lying about.
    • Neither do I. I've had one girl tell me about how she had sex with a guy in an alley, before I met her in person and thought why?

      None of the girls I've had sex with asked about sexual history/experiences before doing it. Just do you have a condom and are you clean?

    • @bloodmountain1990 exactly. STD's otherwise, I don't want to know.

    • There's no benefit to knowing past sex experiences.

  • crissyita
    I do love anal, no problem to admit it... it requests a bit more of confidence with your partner... because of it is something much more intimate... and it happens often to me to have some pee leakage while letting him to enter, because of I totally relax my muscle... but it's not a big deal
    • Bill11

      You have pee leakage from relaxing your butt muscle?

    • crissyita

      @Bill11 yes if my bladder is at least half full.. not so much though

    • Bill11

      Cool, never knew that could happen!

    • Show All
  • Stacyzee
    I'm totally honest about loving anal.
    In fact I've turned a few guys, into becoming anal whores because of all of the things I've done with them.
    Lol! They find it such a disappointment when the girl they are with doesn't do it.
    Ahh, they call me talking about the good times.
    But its too bad... I've moved on with my life!
    • I've found out that there's 3 basic opinions of women on anal sex.
      1st. NO way.
      2nd. Tolerate it but not enjoy it
      3rd. Love it
      I haven't been with a lot of women but the majority are in the first to groups.

  • Chief16
    I was gonna make an anal sex joke butt fuck it
    s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...4ce5e7c021.jpg
  • redridinggirlTR
    well when you say you are an anal virgin, they are more tender.. and you know it always hurts first 30 seconds... so it is great to have a guy who is more tender and careful thinking it is my first time.
    after that when he is in, it is always hard to hold him back anyhow :)
  • MissPanda
    Wouldn't it be funny if your next boyfriend is also not a butt virgin and lies about it?
  • rjroy3
    I mean, it's not a horrible lie. But you're still lying.
    Why not just have a bunch of great sexual experiences until you organically come across something you've never done before? Then it can be a real bonding experience, rather than an artificial play. That's almost as bad as faking orgasms. Just be honest. It's true, most guy don't really want details. But most guys don't want to be lied to either. Even if it is a soft lie.
    • I agree, honesty and genuine new experiences build true intimacy.

    • rjroy3

      @Coastalchic yea, it's like if you lied and said something was your first time. That experience will be a reminder to you of that time you lied, while it's real for them. Because of that you're not sharing that intimacy with them.

    • Exactly. It just doesn’t work.

  • ManOnFire
    I think I get you. Anal sex isn't a big need on my list, but it has its appeal. I particularly like it if the woman has a little discomfort from it and winces each time you crash into her ass. That's very sexy for me, but if I never had anal in my life it wouldn't keep me up at night, there are other sexual things I prefer more.
  • justabasicguy
    I'm not gonna try to understand or judge you on what you have just said. However I would consider such behaviour as "toying". It may create excitement or whatever, but such excitement may backfire. There are very nice people in this world who are rather decent human beings and get hurt quite often for being decent, do you not think this would cause trust issues in relationship?

    I will be quite frank, I'm a decent guy and my decency never paid back, life fucked me virtually on every possible turn. I helped people with their college projects and they got 92% on them, I got in a motorcycle accident and not a single fucker cared to call and see how I'm doing. My own mother went into the cheating territory years ago and aborted someone else's child, I learned this as I found paperwork from abortion and variety of text messages. I was in the wrong to invade her privacy, but I paid the toll for this invasion and the toll was destruction of trust.

    How do you think a decent person who was honest with you from start feel ones they learned you were feeding them lies? Sure we all lie, I try to be pretty open in relationship. I don't expect my significant other to be just as open, but I act responsibly and disclose things I see fit. There are certain stories I don't bring up as I do break down because of them, but this is related to a parent who has passed away and for me this is only topic which is a taboo or rather something I do not wish to re-collect, I never lied to my former ex-GF about being experienced, she never asked. But when she asked I told her that I was a virgin prior to her.

    Well whatever really, this is your life not mine. Do as you see fit, but toying with people's trust is low.
  • Gabriella171
    I don't know I can't see myself letting a guy stick his thing up their. Sounds horrible and painful. I probably would flip my shit if a guy tried to do it honestly. But if he's into it and your into it then have fun girl lol
  • meatballs21
    On the one hand, it's an interesting theory that you keep it a secret so you can feel like it's something new you're discovering together with one another.

    On the other, though, know she's done it and is down with it is better, IMHO. Some girls are so averse or even offended by it that it can be nervewracking to suggest to her that you want to try it.
  • Michelleshalley
    Lol that is a good idea. I like it. And in reply to the guy "most helpful " about the submissive part. You're right I think most women have it from nature. Feminists want to eradicate it. But we (btw I'm all for equality and I don't take shit from noone) we who dare explore it have great experiences
  • WombRaider
    Lol, there'll be a point where your gap will be so wide the guy won't believe you.
  • BaldwinIV
    Disgusting, I would never stick my penis in a shit hole. How is this appealing? Vaginas feel great, and are made for sex.
    • Sammy_J

      glad guys like you exist... makes us open minded guys better lovers..

  • Lioness
    I can't believe the guys fall for that lol. I think they are just so psyched they don't care whether it is true or not, and then they have short term amnesia after the act.
  • vishna
    Hmm I would have liked a poll to see if this (the thrill) is true, alas it's a MyTake. I dunno, my boyfriend doesn't care about this and none of my other boyfriend's did. But I guess because it's uncharted territory, the lie is worth the thrill.
    • Virgins will always have the throne in every sex category.

  • BelleGirl21
    I guess I see your point but I'd rather not lie about anything when starting a new relationship. Interesting thought anyways.
    • You can say that you tried, but she's right. I don't want to hear that my new girlfriend was buttfucked by every ex boyfriend. I guess that is today's virginity issue.

  • SarahsSummer
    Makes sense to me! But I'm not a fan of discussing his or my numbers in general.
    Good read❤️
  • Frost_Byt3
    Its still lying. And a pretty shitty thing to do - especially when its about something as important as sexual past.
  • Scrambledagain
    A) the holy grail isn't anal. That's almost expected in today's modern age. I would say threesomes are men's holy grail.
    B) I expect white lies in a relationship, including lies about partner count and sex acts. So when a girl tells me anything about that sort of stuff, I take it with a pinch of salt.
  • englisc
    Most women pretend to have done less previously than what they actually have done, whether that means lying about never having had a one night stand or casual when they have, lying about the number of partners they've been with etc.
  • M_A_X
    So you pretend really, really hard to be upfront and honest so you can lie about the really important things

    Yeah, that kind of is manipulation.
  • MakeShiftThug
    67.media.tumblr.com/...lyhf3klasN1ro91bjo1_250.gif
    Smh Na fam, no disrespect but that's disgusting.

    I don't have any secrets but there are things I don't openly share.
  • timbergag
    I'd rather have a girl who is experienced and knows what's going on and what she likes. I don't have to be the first. In fact, I'd rather not.

    I just want to hear I'm the best. Or good enough :-)
  • AhGojira
    This is just more fuel to the fire on why I don't tell girls about my sexual past and don't believe a word they say...
  • Spiorad_Aisce
    I can see the logic in your take but I don't think it would be my choice. I would actually prefer to know she was experienced in a lot of things. I don't have fantasies about doing things for the first time but just doing things with the right partner and getting the maximum enjoyment through communication/interaction.
    I find very erotic the thoughts of people who are very aware of their bodies pushing the limits. As always with pleasure and fantasies it is up to the participants themselves to find the correct wavelength to partake of the activity. I am sure there are many guys turned on by the anal virginity fantasy, to each their own.
    cdn.quotationof.com/.../...es-perfect-quotes-5.jpg
    news.nster.com/.../11882_700x.jpg
  • H0neyPot
    I think this is amazing and is pretty much exactly what I try to do these days!
  • OlderAndWiser
    Are you saying that you tell the guy that you are an anal virgin or do you simply omit any references to anal sex and let them erroneously conclude that you are an anal virgin?
  • Bandit74
    Well it only works if..
    1. He believes you
    2. You can keep it a secret
    3. He is actually interested in anal

    Assuming those are true I can see the logic to this. It is true guys often find the idea of crossing boundaries and having certain sex acts with her that nobody else has done with her. It provides a certain intimacy that it is something that ONLY you have with her. I think girls are often similar in finding the ideal of a tough/ emotionally stoic guy who has a soft vulnerable side that only she gets to see. To be the first one he's opened up to.

    Personally tho I dont think I would believe it. I know most girls lie about their past, also if she's done all the other things you're claiming to have done Im not sue Id belive that she hasn't at least tried anal, especially by age 30. Also after seeing this take I know to be extra skeptical of anything a girl tells me regarding her sexual history :D
    • yep

      but Im surprised too, tbh. LOL why lie about it? Ok, serves a purpose... But it's unnecessary, I'd say.

    • Bandit74

      @HookingSwan
      Well in her experience it yields positive results.

    • maybe yes, maybe not

      How could she know? She'd have to tell the truth and try it after that, to compare

    • Show All
  • cth96190
    I have never shared or understood the appeal of anal sex.
    If I wanted to get shit on my cock, I would have turned queer.
  • John_Doesnt
    This is exactly why men don't believe women when they say they're virgins.
  • Steelcore1085
    You are the epitome of why I think women are untrustworthy and manipulative. I fucking hate women who lie. Many other men feel the same way.

    Stop lying to men. Seriously.
  • Words_and_Wisdom
    Nah. You should be honest and tell him you love anal. If a woman told me she didn't do anal I'd be more reluctant to fool around with her than if she admitted she absolutely loves it.
  • jjmarvin
    Please don't lie about that. Ego coddling and supporting those unreal fantasies can damage current and future relationships. I'd be fine with the truth. You wouldn't have to be a conquest for me.
  • Honesty4U
    Frankly, I don't think anyone should feel obligated to share anything from their past that they are not comfortable sharing. I do think though, that you're kidding yourself a bit when you're say you're not manipulating him... Regardless of your intentions, at least in part, that is a manipulation of his emotions / expectations.
  • Mitch-french
    Thank you for sharing. That's very true. My fantasy goes even beyond and unfortunately it comes from porn. ATM. I had a couple of girls doing that, but that is unusual.
  • TripleAce
    Seems like its more because your choice of men thats giving you this false 'high' on so called virgin anal sex. Its defiantly not the holy grail of sexual experiences.
  • Jim_F
    Mine secret is exhibitionism. I maintain a set of photos on an amateur nudes website.

    You seem like my type of woman.
  • slimstiffy
    Hehe. I see your point. No harm , no foul. Thats pretty nice of you to do. Lucky boyfriends you have/had ;-)
  • CheerGirl38139
    Interesting spin on a frequent topic on GaG. Thanks!
  • YourFutureEx
    Personally, I never found the need to pretend anything to enjoy sex.

    PS: I liked your 'about me'
  • front2back
    Are you sure? I see the appeal but I don't want to try anal at all.
  • Artist10
    You lie and thats a big turn off.
    I dont expect a saint or a the virgin marie, but cmon really
    • Artist10

      by the way anal sex is not a big deal, is fun yea but not as much as u think it is for guys

  • bluehen46
    For many its the holy grail but there are many girls doing that to preserve their virginity for marriage, so i think that has gone down a tad bit. Also supposedly in many europeon countries is like part of normal sex and not a "special treat" like the usa.

    Unless you are a hell of an actress, really tiny or have something you are using to make your asshole go back in shape. I am pretty sure i could tell if a girl was lying to me, but some guys are fooled.

    I think you should be honest. Strating out a relationship on lies is bad even if it seems minor.
  • AlphaMaleTruth
    Well any guy with a brain can tell your asshole or pussy is blown out. Women never recover bc they aren't designed for multiple partners. But funny you try to lie about it
  • freakyzeaky
    My "secret" or no so secret, is that I don't mind prostate massage. Many straight guys have hangups about it, so it would probably take some women by surprise. I didn't even mention it to my ex-girlfriend because I figured she wouldn't be interested (she was a virgin and had pretty vanilla ideas about sex).

    I have never had anal sex with a woman, and I don't know if I would ever suggest it, but I'd be down to try it! The one thing I do know that I'd like is anal play outside of penetration, maybe with tongue or with toys like a butt plug (for her).

    The kind of woman who doesn't have hang-ups to try various kinky things on occasion is my type. Part of that is not just communicating what she likes, but also just having the attitude that they are open to that conversation even if I were to suggest it. Some women are very closed off and treat certain things like taboo, like swallowing for example or even wearing thongs, which doesn't inspire much excitement in the bedroom.
  • Hannah591
    Anal is now out of the question for me. Never again.
    • Why? Did you have a boyfriend that didn't know what he was doing? During Anal Sex?

    • Hannah591

      @wethepeople87 It's unnatural and painful.

    • Oh ok... thanks for responding back to me. Well here my opinion anal sex is as natural as your boyfriend or future husband wanting to please you cause he loves you. With flowers or making Dinner for the two of you. It a Form of Affection. If he's the one he will be gentle.

    • Show All
  • Jack_S
    Excellent read. Dont think I would have ever concidered that about a woman.
Loading...