How You Can Avoid Rape

Anonymous

How You Can Avoid Rape

On GirlsAskGuys recently, I asked a question regarding how people initiated sexual intercourse, and apparently, many people just reported that they don't overtly ask for consent. In many cases, consent is implicit. One person may signal behavioral cues. The other person may either welcome or reject the sexual advance. If the other person welcomes the advance, then the sex happens. If the other person rejects the sexual advance, then it's up to the initiator whether the initiator wants to ignore the rejection or respects the other person's refusal. If the initiator respects the other person's refusal, then the sex does not happen or stops immediately. If the initiator does not respect the other person's refusal, then the sex becomes rape.

Here are things that you need to know about how consent works in a legal framework:

* Consent must be explicit, implicit, complete, thorough, and informed. In addition to the implicit consent that is already exchanged between couples, you must explicitly ask your partner whether your partner wants to have sex with you. You must also give a complete and thorough summary of your sexual history. This is to help your partner to become aware of how many previous partners you've slept with and whether or not you've contracted STIs from those partners and whether or not you've been tested for any STIs. Finally, informed consent involves telling your partner exactly what is going to happen, which is sexual intercourse. You must be able to articulate that you are going to have sexual intercourse with your partner, how it is going to be achieved, what positions you are going to do, where you are going to do it, how long the sexual intercourse will take approximately, and that your partner can refuse participation in the act at any time at no penalty on your partner's part.

* Consent must be made by both partners above the age of consent. The age of consent may vary in your jurisdiction, so check your local laws and abide by them.

* Consent must be able by partners who are legally able to give consent to sexual intercourse. That means you cannot have sex with a minor (like I said in the previous bullet point) and you cannot have sex with a non-human.

* Consent can be withdrawn at any time during coitus, anal penetration, fellatio, or cunnilingus. If a person wants out, then he or she wants out. And the partner just has to respect that, even though the partner desperately wants to get an orgasm or sexual pleasure. The underlying belief is that the concern of another human being in conjunction with the self-sacrifice of one's own pleasure should be the priority. The shared activity should be about making love or making babies, and the sexual pleasure that springs out of the love and/or intention to make babies is a nice byproduct that Mother Nature has given in order to do it again and again and again.

So, this is myTake on avoiding rape and getting in trouble with the law. Stay safe, and have fun!

How You Can Avoid Rape
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Most Helpful Girl

  • aliceinwonderland69
    I hope this is a joke.
    Please quote the law that states this.
    I can't think of anything more mood killing than a run down of sexual positions.
    How the fuck R u supposed to know how long it will take?
    I am under no obligation to reveal my sexual history and not doing so doesn't make it rape.
    One night stands are about pleasure not making love it would be naive to think otherwise but it doesn't make it rape.
    I hope this never becomes law in my country.
    Is this still revelant?
    • There's something like this in California now, colloquially called "yes means yes" laws, but they don't say that the consent must be "explicit and implicit." That would be impossible and retarded.

Most Helpful Guy

  • MrOracle
    I'm reminded of this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo4568PIRnk

    I almost never verbally ask for consent, but I also respect women, and treat them with respect. Much of the time, they're the ones jumping on me. But I also don't assume that every girl I meet, or even go on a date with, wants sex, or wants it with me. I leave plenty of room for "no", and that's why I virtually always get "yes", even if it's non-verbal.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1337
  • Rainie_
    LOOL oh man this MyTake really made me facepalm so bad over and over.
    First of all... Usually for me it's never "Would you like to have sex?" that's got to be the most mood killing awkward question ever. You build up to the moment of sex because you both feel it and want it. And if the other person don't you just say no. Simple as that.

    Secondly, I seriously don't know if you are a virgin or not but really seems like you are, because ain't nobody got the time to read the "terms & conditions", what's going to happen, what positions will be done. What the actual fucking fuck. 😂😂 who does that shit? If the intercourse will change to anal (etc.) they just ask in the moment if they want it (unless they usually do it all the time anyway) not wayyy before any fucking even happens. And who the fuck goes all like "First we're gonna do missionary, then you'll ride me, then we do doggy." 😂😂😂 nooo just nooo.
    And how the hell would he know how long it will take, timings can change all the time if you were not aware.

    Thirdly I don't wanna know how many partners he's slept with just before we're having sex, that's the most mood killing thing ever. The only thing I'd ask if I was skeptical is if he's been tested, even so we'd use condoms. And YOU CANNOT assume they have an STI just because they've slept with a lot of people, heck you can get an STI just by having slept with one person!

    Fourthly having sex is not always about "making love", you can have great sex without love or without the intent of making babies. Ehem, casual sex?

    If you have sex with a respectable human being they will clearly stop at "no" and "stop" at any point. But clearly rape cannot be avoided if you are in the hands of the wrong person, and you cannot defend yourself or get help in any way. It is not that simple.
    Most people with common sense get the whole thing about consent, and they get it/understand it most of the time by body language rather than verbal consent from the other person.
    • The whole point of this "yes means yes" crap is to get women like YOU to STOP having sex altogether.

  • rescuemyheart
    Some of this is, I mean... :/ come on. He knows if I want it or not. And sometimes it's hot if he just grabs me and fucks me. Spontaneity has its place. You should have consent but it shouldn't be like signing a contract. Nothing less sexu than that.

    Just respond to the other persons signals.
  • cth96190
    The poster as regurgitated the insanity of O'Bozo's affirmative consent rules, which are being imposed at US universities that take government money.
    Affirmative consent is unworkable and intended to suck the joy out of any sexual encounter.
    The only people who support this stupidity are batshit-crazy misandrist feminists, who are so ugly and/or insane that they do not have a sex life, so want to ruin it for everyone else.
    There are ways to avoid rape. They are simple, obvious and involve some hard work. . . which would be why feminists would not accept them in their inverted alternative reality.
    1. Do not get drunk. Do not even drink.
    2. Do not dress like a street prostitute and then get drunk.
    3. Do not place yourself in vulnerable situations, such as lonely dark streets in the middle of the night. Young women have appalling threat perception and situational awareness, in general.
    4. Become a dedicated student of a martial art, such as traditional Shotokan karate, so that if the above fails you can defend yourself.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjEl05_BhYg
    • You sound like a bitter old man

    • @kavyareddy2 Vague shaming doesn't work anymore. Nobody is looking to YOU for indication of this man's social worth.

    • cth96190

      @kavyareddy2
      How does not wanting women to be raped, wanting people to enjoy sex and wanting women to be able to defend themselves make me a "bitter old man?"

  • RationalMale
    "Finally, informed consent involves telling your partner exactly what is going to happen, which is sexual intercourse. You must be able to articulate that you are going to have sexual intercourse with your partner, how it is going to be achieved, what positions you are going to do, where you are going to do it, how long the sexual intercourse will take approximately, and that your partner can refuse participation in the act at any time at no penalty on your partner's part."

    Seriously? You're really going there and making idiocy reality?

    www.trbimg.com/.../la-ol-rall-affirmative-consent-yes-means-yes-sex-contract-20141029
    • by the way, for virgins reading this--if you actually follow her advice and try to get all legal and informed consent and explicate on everything you will do, etc--you will never get laid. Ever. It will dry up her pussy faster than pouring sand on it.

    • Anonymous

      Actually, non-consensual sex occurs, because one partner misinterprets absence of explicit consent as permission to sex. Given the serious nature of non-consensual sex, the misinterpretation is not taken lightly by the other partner or the law. So, in case of doubt, make sure you ask for explicit permission to have sex, and that sex can end at any time at will.

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  • Steelcore1085
    Women like you who believe this shit are why I literally don't bother with even flirting with other girls and why I would actually make her sign a fucking consent form before she and I ever did anything. Thanks for being a big reason the No Means No Law in California, which literally made it legal suicide for men to have sexual relations with women, an actual law. You'd probably cry rape if the sex wasn't good enough...

    You're obviously a Feminist who feels threatened by masculinity and wants to control masculinity. Sexist. Do you admire people like Andrea Dworkin, Anita Sarkeesian, Rebecca Watson, and Laci Green? If you admire any of those people, then congratulations, nobody should ever take you seriously. Only a Feminist would write this tripe.

    I find it amusing that you decided to go anonymous because you knew that your stupid MyTake would get lots of flak. I'm surprised you didn't close off the comments section, like a Feminist typically does. You guys don't believe in the freedom of speech.

    I also found it funny that you are basically indirectly addressing all men as if they don't know what the fuck is rape and what isn't, as if we are apparently a bunch of primitive Neanderthals to you. We actually know what fucking rape is and we don't need a fucking lecture from Feminists about it. The actual rapists just don't give a shit that it's morally wrong and just do it, anyways. I hope your ridiculous MyTake gets removed; you give women a bad name.
  • the_rake
    implicit consent is sufficient.

    even women do not want explicit consent - it totally destroys their state of attraction. men could actually go through all the explicit consent stuff, sign a contract and still feel horny. but it's actually WOMEN who do not want this: women are the ones who get turned off by this kind of thing RADICALLY. they absolutely LOATHE it.
  • Bluemax
    "Consent must be explicit, implicit, complete, thorough, and informed. "

    According to what you have spelled out, I have been raped... many times.
  • Spermdumster666
    s5.photobucket.com/.../...045_zps935fa956.jpg.html
    My thoughts are obvious on the matter.
  • Jager66
    Well according to your rules I have been raped by every single woman I have ever been with.

    Rape rates have never been lower so the Feminist crazies have to once again further the definition of something and change the laws to make sure more men are "oppressive" and more women are "victims".
    The truth is these kinds of Feminist laws have nothing to do with reality and all they will end up doing is delegitimize real rape to the point no one takes a rape claim seriously.

  • Afro-dite9
    Hmmn this pic is from the rape of Lucretia I believe.. anyway you can't avoid rape😑 it's not something u have control over happening to you or not. You could be minding your biz completly covered locked away in a castle and a mf could try to force them self on u. Rape isn't about sex.. it's about power and humiliation... period! In that case if it were possible how do children tempt pedo's?
  • SüßeJäger
    Realize this is a world where bad things happen, be smart, learn how to recognize patterns/behaviors in people and learn to defend yourself with any means you see fit from hands/feet to a gun and everything in between. Preferably all means. It's not possible to avoid it 100% but you can reduce the probability of bad things happening. Avoiding potential dangers is the best defense. You don't have to go around paranoid but conscious about danger.
  • WalterRadio
    1. Don't get drunk.
    2. Don't be alone with a man you don't want to have sex with.
    3. Carry a gun, know how and be prepared how to use it, and be aware of your surroundings.

    That pretty much takes care of 98% of cases right there.
    • If you are from a decent part of town, #1 alone is good enough for at least 99 percent.

  • Spiorad_Aisce
    Although couched in legal language - I would be very much in agreement on those points - Really it boils down to communication, if there is any doubt, check if you are the initiator and if you are the other personbe very clear of your rights to be explicit in what you want and don't want.
    Unfortunately there will be a huge grey area with individual examples thrown back and forth but it is up to society to clarify as much as possible what is right and wrong then the grey area becomes reduced.
    In the grey area I will probably switch sides as we go from case to case that is why I espouse having a large area of clarity so we don't have to go down a road of slut shaming or all men are rapists. To me they are just people making personal decisions and having a few societal guidelines does no harm at all.
  • dangerDoge
    Reminds me a bit of the beginning of the video I saw the other day lol
    https://youtu.be/Rc_E9JtM_ss
  • Riggers
    Spot on.

    I wish some girls would read this and understand what rape actually is. I'm sick of hearing stories of girls who dont understand the difference between rape and regret.
  • YepThatsIt
    I appreciate the effort but if anyone tried to pull this I'd just walk out the door. No way I am sitting through this nonsense.
    • That's the point. Either outcome (demographic winter or the continuous legal sanction of men) are both feminist wins.

  • Transigence
    LOL! Consent can't be both implicit and explicit at the same time!

    And outside of California, what "legal framework" are you talking about with your affirmative "yes means yes" consent nonsense?
  • abundantlyrich
    Just say no. If they still dont listen, threaten them with a pocket knife to cut their balls off.
  • MG-TOW
    I agree with what you write. Let me add some stuff

    * Don't lead people on. They may not be able to control themselves.
    * Don't get drunk or get somebody else drunk.
    * If the other party is drunk. Don't get into this thing
    * Speak up. Don't give subtle no's but give real ones
    * Don't use sex as a tool.
    * Realize you can't change your mind afterwards.
    * Don't expect the other party to understand your feelings or subtle messages.
    * If you need to use tricks to get sex, it's probably not a good idea to have sex.
    * People won't stop having sex when in the middle of sex.

  • ColinHarvey
    Sounds like great sex

    "What should we do first?"

    "Lets roll play, I want you to go into the hallway and pretend to be a pizza guy, then I will answer the door, and then I want you to ask me what to do next!"
  • xobrowneyedbeauty
    "Consent must be explicit, implicit, complete, thorough, and informed. In addition to the implicit consent that is already exchanged between couples, you must explicitly ask your partner whether your partner wants to have sex with you." I think that one should have ended there. I really would prefer my partner did not kill the mood by telling me his full sexual history, what positions he intends to use, how long it would take, etc. Besides, how can you be sure which positions you'll use and how long it'll take? I totally get your point about consent but I think this part is a little extreme lol
    • This is like, "All PIV sex is rape," extreme.

      And consent doesn't have to be and SHOULDN'T have to be explicit. Women don't want to be explicitly asked if it's okay to have sex with them. There are only two ways that question can be answered, "No," and "not anymore."

      Also, something can't be explicit and implicit at the same time.

    • jacquesvol

      @Transigence
      Consent not needed? Not explicit?
      Thus grab and penetrate without explicit consent?
      The Gay Bro Gang will like to read that. You might meet some of da gang, some day.

    • @jacquesvol I didn't say consent was not needed, you filthy deceiver. I said it doesn't have to be explicit, and it doesn't.

      So basically, grab and try, and if she doesn't want you to she'll let you know, either with a verbal negative, or negative body language (which is ALSO good enough to express the absence of consent!).

      That's because human interactions are nuanced and mostly non-verbal, and the courts know this.

      Oh, and I'm not scared of gays, gangs, or you. And I don't bristle at the mention of homosexuality. I can see how you would think that would work if you were terrified of getting your ass pounded yourself, but I don't live in a world of irrational fears.

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  • Homebakedcookies
    This should be printed on flyers and given to arab immigrants.
  • shortandsexy
    Please correct this. This isn't how to avoid it, but rather the facts about consent.
    • These aren't "facts" about consent. Consent doesn't have to be explicit. She's factually wrong about that.

      If someone says, "Unload my van." And I huff, slump my shoulders, and start unloading their van, I consented to do so, as evident by my actions. It's also evident that I do not WANT to, but that is not the same as consenting to. If I had said 'no,' that would be the notification that there is no consent, or my withdrawal thereof.

      From a legal standpoint, anyway.

  • randomhobo
    This seems like insane rules. Its sex, its supposed to be fun- not filled with tons of stuff that would make lawyers scratch their heads. This level of consent would require a contract notarised by my solicitor.

    I subscribe to the- if you've an std, you must tell a person in advance of sex. If you're having sex, if both of you appear to want it then go for it- however if at any point someone tries to stop, says no or gives an indication or body language they dont want sex. Then you should stop otherwise its rape.
  • FakeName123
    Barely any person ever requires verbal consent. People who demand that from other people are either socially awkward or simply never were in a situation. Alternatively they are so controlling that they are incapable of letting go and/or show any kind of passion.

    Consent is and can also be giving by actions and body-language and in case of misreading its really not that big of a deal to say no.

    The real world isn't how your fantasy world nor the many laws works. People will get at it and if it goes too far for either of the parties, they just say stop.
  • HeWhoPonders
    "In addition to the implicit consent that is already exchanged between couples, you must explicitly ask your partner whether your partner wants to have sex with you."

    "Finally, informed consent involves telling your partner exactly what is going to happen, which is sexual intercourse. You must be able to articulate that you are going to have sexual intercourse with your partner, how it is going to be achieved, what positions you are going to do, where you are going to do it, how long the sexual intercourse will take approximately, and that your partner can refuse participation in the act at any time at no penalty on your partner's part."

    Listen, I know you mean well but this is stupid. I'm probably the biggest virgin on the internet and I know that all this is going to do is take out the excitement and turn her vagina into a desert. Who wants sex to feel staged? The answer is nobody.
  • Sunflower19
    I like your take but sometimes you can't avoid rape in certain situations. It happens.
  • jacquesvol
    Good take, but it may be a bit difficult for some members.
    • 0112358

      "You must be able to articulate that you are going to have sexual intercourse with your partner, how it is going to be achieved, what positions you are going to do, where you are going to do it, how long the sexual intercourse will take approximately"

      This is a good take?

    • @0112358 No, it is not a good take. It's feminist retardity.

  • dudeman
    i dont agree with 1 at all 2 and 3 i do agree with and i only half way agree with 4
  • Byakuyarko
    don't want sex? Kick the bloke in the nuts, if you're a girl.
    Shove her the fuck off, you're a guy
  • John_Doesnt
    "you must explicitly ask your partner whether your partner wants to have sex with you."
    -Sure just zap out all the romance and turn sex into a robotic legal format.
    "Do you miss Dane give consent to have sex with me Mr. Doe?"
    "Yes I give you my legal consent for sex"
    "Then commence sexual intercourse! Begin the removal of pants if you are willing"

    What happened to a passionate and impulsive sexual initiation between two people who realize they both have the same chemistry and needs at that very moment? When two people can no longer control their sexual desires (or hornyness) and just go at it without any words at all.
  • skeptic007
    ill make this simple gun or knife will do the trick
    kill the bitch or kill the asshole either way works for me
  • Careless_Whisper
    This is a load of crap. I think most idiots know what consent is.
  • BaldwinIV
    I am so glad i have a wife who loves me and we dont need a verbal contract everytime we have sex.
  • YourFutureEx
    Still girl can sue you for false rapes.
  • Tdieseler
    Does this apply to guys?
  • StreetLevel
    Don't dress like you want it.
    • jacquesvol

      @StreetLevel
      Blaming the victim.

    • @jacquesvol Bullshit. Telling people that their choices affect other people's behavior is not an assignment of blame. That's an additional leap that you and your brain-dead feminist squad make on your own.

    • jacquesvol

      @Transigence
      Should it be my problem that you don't understand that? It looks more everyone's problem that people like you prefer blaming the victims and thus excuse the criminals. Something like:
      "Your honor, he was alone in that street, wearing those tight jeans with a bulge showing, after dark, had no gun or only a pipsqueak little cissy one thus our gay bro gang was really right to think he accepted being gang banged. He was asking for it with his nice ass."

    • Show All
  • dwright9224
    I like this take.
  • GreatnessRevamped
    Just speak it through the body.
  • orphan
    how would I increase my chances of getting raped?
  • Electronica
    That picture is whoa.
  • xxcchhllaauu
    Don't be born a girl don't be born in jail
    • "forced to envelop" happens to men outside of prison at very similar rates (inside of 1% diff) to forcible rape, per the CDC's 2011 NISVS.

  • Anonymous
    Men should tell and school other men, dont be an animal and dont rape women. Not us women,"oh please dont rape us".. fucking bullshit.
    People are full of shit and stupidity.
    • Word

    • Except you left something out.
      WE ALREADY KNOW.
      Less than 1% of us just don't give a shit and no amount of "schooling" is going to change it.

      Also, in a macroscopic society the incidence of rape will never be 0, just like many other incidences (murder, arson, whatever else). Rape is a vanishingly rare crime.

    • Anonymous

      @Transigence well but i dont see this 99% of men defending woman from rapist animals, as you write it. maybe you are not that right after all... but ok, keep the good work and school those bastratd.
      E. g.: russians beat up some muslim ass recently, when they tried to harrass girls, you know "refugees"that we have in Europe now.

  • Anonymous
    .357mag should do the trick
  • Anonymous
    Lmfao I thought this was going to be about some self defense techniques but um.. No next time I'm about to get raped I'll make sure to check if the rapist and I are at or above the age of consent thanks 😊 nice MyTake.
  • Anonymous
    Most actual sex where both people are cool with it will dramatically die down doing this crap. They'll get bored the guy will go limp as a biscuit and the girl will feel as dry as the Sahara going through this like 5 stage process just to get to sex. You are completely eliminating foreplay. Maybe you don't care because that's something you never cared about but you don't get to ruin the rest of humanity by forcing them to not go through foreplay like you. Learn to read body language, that's all you need.
  • Anonymous
    This take is so bad it should be removed from the site.
  • Anonymous
    Pursuing sex as a man requires some risk. Asking directly for consent about sexual positions and shit is a mood killer and she won't want to fuck anymore anyways. Women like the spontaneity and assertiveness of a man, all this bullshit in this take kills the mood
  • Anonymous
    yeah i have to do something about women attacking me all the time. well some of us just can't help being so desirable... .
  • Anonymous
    So if me and my girlfriend are alone together (17 so above age of consent in our home nation). Things escalate and we have sex. Neither of us asked for explicit consent. Who raped who as she didn't ask me for consent or did I rape her since i didn't ask her for conset. Bear in mind sometimes I slip a condomand insert into her. Other times she might be sitting on me, and suddenly puts a condom on me and proceeds to sit on my winky.

    From your definition we're two rampant rapists. Its happened probably close to a hundred times in our two year relationship.
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