Sexual Relationships
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The Problems I See With Both Guys and Girls On GaG

The Problems I See With Both Guys and Girls On GaG

I can say that I've observed particular behaviors on GaG from both guys and girls that are problematic. Some of you are just gonna try to cancel me out as a guy posting this and think it's sexist, but I'm actually giving knocks to both sides from things I see.

So we'll start with ladies. After all: ladies first! =)

The problem with the Girls:

The Problems I See With Both Guys and Girls On GaG

Females generalize...but are supported for it...

It's still a well-known fact that when females generalize guys most people agree with it and don't tell her she shouldn't be doing that, and that happens a lot here. When guys generlize women all hell breaks loose and he's said to be butthurt, even though the real butthurt ones are the females giving him hell for it in the first place. For the record, I really don't care if females want to generalize guys, I'm old enough to know better, but you gotta take what you give. Generalizing happens. Everybody does it, and even I have. And sometimes when we generalize we're not exactly meaning "ALL" of one group, it's just a way of noting a particular group.

However, what is curious is that women like to pick and choose how they want to be generalized, and how they want to generalize men. If people are saying a general truth about women that makes them uncomfortable or feel offended, they will address their problem with that immediately and say "You can't lump all women together." But if we were to say something in general about women that would be perceived as a positive or praiseworthy attribute of women, women would not complain that it's a generalization, even if it's a wrong one. They would be happy to agree with the positive thing said.

Girls agree with one another here just to get at guys...

Not all the time, but most times when you see a female's comment to a guy's question or Take and she has lots of upvotes from other females, it's really just to support her against the guy/guys if she's not agreeing with him. I see the guys doing it too, but I'm much more likely to see a comment from a female have lots of upvotes from other females than vice versa. Like a female friend of mine here said that I never thought about, women will support/agree with each other even if they're wrong, and this is mostly the case when debating with guys. They never want to be proven wrong by a guy or outdone by him, so others will come to advocate her even if her points are really very wrong, narrow, or weak.

Girls can't stand when one doesn't agree with their gender...

Any time a female isn't in agreement with her gender or notes things she herself dislikes or is annoyed with, other girls can't stand that, sometimes because it's a truth that they may see in themselves and can't face it. So a lot of times the girls here who don't like that just try to accuse the girl of trying to get points with guys, accusing her of really being a guy in disguise, or hating her own gender, to make themselves feel better about the fact that she spoke truth about her gender. And other times, they'll agree with a guy and upvote him if he disagrees with a girl talking about her gender. It's easier for females to find fault with the girl than to see what she's saying and find truth in it, and this is because an ego does exist in femininity, a lot more than they choose to realize. Women often - see how I generalized there? ;-) - want to view themselves or their gender as being above men, and it seems to be that many spend a lot of energy and head space having inner contempt for guys, so when a woman actually sees how women aren't perfect and have issues, the others get a bruised ego from it and feel like she's going against the sisterhood.

Guys can be the same way with our gender, calling a guy a white knight or pussy feminist for agreeing with women, but guys tend to care less often if another guy does compared to women. Women hold much more resentment towards other women for seeing that her gender has problems and does things guys hate too.

The female mods are no better...

The majority of moderators on GaG are female, and only ascended that far because they accepted their eligibility, but they're really not very different from the aggressive, immature females here. They too break the rules, act maliciously, and act against others. One of them I even had to report awhile ago, who is an "Uber Mod." And they also support the other females against guys; it's happened to me and I've seen it happen to other guys. The females on GaG are always saying how much sexism and misogyny goes on, but the vast majority of theirs is allowed to slide. And since most mods are females, you can see why nothing is done about it.

Asking if we think they're pretty...

It's gotta be one of the most common topics posted on social networking sites and I've long given up on answering. I won't even click on them anymore to see the girl's picture. I really don't care if you're pretty or not. If I like you or are sexually attracted to you, you'll know it.

And then other females are just looking to get their egos rubbed. Sites like these were not created for narcissism, but sure enough there are many narcissistic females online who live for all the followers they have and all the compliments they get, and spam our feeds with repeat questions about how they look and if they're pretty. That's a sad life.

Now for the Guys:
The Problems I See With Both Guys and Girls On GaG

Guys try to answer before anyone else...

One thing I notice a lot is that the guys try to answer questions and Takes before the girls do, and I'm pretty sure they do it calling themselves trying to beat feministic females to the punch. 98% of Takes or questions I see in the feed will have more guys than girls already responding, and sometimes it will discourage me from wanting to comment on the same post because the author won't care to hear anymore of what the guys say. And it could also be because the guys want to seem like they're such experts and have the best answer.

I for one, would like to see more females respond to my Takes and questions.

Guys try to battle feminists or those who think like it...

I used to do this when I was on Answerbag and Experience Project, and it's just not worth it. It bothers the guys to see feminists so much that they're always trying to fight them almost anywhere here. I myself am not a fan of feminism, and I will state what I think about it when I'm asked, but I really don't need to go all over the site looking for feminist prey to kill. It makes you look just as bad as them or worse. I don't care what they think and their ideas are not even that relevant to me unless there's really something I want to say, so I just move around it. And that's what the other guys need to do.

I myself can get into some heated discussions here, but it's not on the agenda for me to go at it with anybody anywhere I see it. You don't need to start a mass war campaign to get your point across. If they don't want to hear it and would rather tune you out, let 'em have it. And if they want to listen to your perspective and see your point, go with that. But let people think what and how they want to think.

Guys try to put us all in the same boat...

Guys who talk about how horny we all are and how hard it is for all of us to get a date or get laid, annoyingly try to put us all in the same boat because either they are very sex-minded, or they're the ones who struggle to get a date and get sex. So to make themselves feel better about it, they try to blame it on females' "high expectations," or try to break down the explanation in a bunch of university science equations that look like they make sense on paper but really mean nothing on the whole grand scale of real every day life.

I tire of hearing mathematic deductions about the number of single guys vs. single girls, how easy girls have it, the number of guys in the population all together vs. the number of women, how this works with girls at a bar vs. how it works for a guy, how you can have 10 guys and 10 girls in a room, etc. *exhaustedly drops face in palm*

If you can't get a girl or you've struggled to get laid, that's your problem. Quite trying to explain it away with a bunch of idiotic, unrealistic pop sci social experiments and shit that are supposed to encompass the rest of the male population to make yourself feel better about it. It looks pathetic and I'm even starting to see how some women are offended by talk of how easy it is for them to get laid.

Asking about penis size...

It's really not a thing to focus on too hard, man. True, there are women who really do like bigger and thicker - or you wouldn't have European and American women going to the Caribbean every summer just to have sex with endowed men - and those deny it and say it doesn't matter, but other women don't care. And you have to live with what you have.

Conclusion...

At the moment this is all I've noticed, but I fear I'm gonna remember something else by the time I've already posted this, lol. But having said all this, if we all consider ourselves mature adults - or young adults - you have to act like it. We want to be taken seriously and think we're such experienced individuals but are acting like kids on the Internet.

What it all comes down to is opinions and also truths. Things people don't like or can't handle, so they feel a need to antagonize one side for it. Truths and opinions are part of life. And they're not going to change because 8 or 10 females upvote or support another against it, or because 20 guys want to beat the girls to the punch with their perspective. Sometimes truths and opinions are one and the same, and other times truths and opinions only apply at some times with some people.

The Problems I See With Both Guys and Girls On GaG

Just want to take a moment to share this around with a bunch of Gaggers:

@Applefan1

@CHARismatic

@loveisbeautiful

@Redeyemindtricks

@Chief16

@IceEverest

@kaylaS91

@rgb008

@ThisDudeHere

@ElissaDido

@ConsultantIsBack

@LoveYouMeanIt

@Joc4Position

@BuchitaBuchys

7 13

Most Helpful Guy

  • the thing with women is that they have more of a hive mind mentality than guys do. Guys are very competitive and individualistic. In an argument, as long as the enemy is a man, women will form up and create a interlocking vaginal wall which has the power to deflect logic and reason. Reminds me of power rangers. When the big baddie comes, they merge their parts together to make a giant robot of doom which fires vaginal juices, secretions and period blood.

    When it comes to men on here, the main problem is that a good number have a huge superiority complex. Like, every guy i run into on the internet has a self proclaimed genius level IQ, and the only reason girls aren't interested is because they are incapable of rational thought, can't get over their fetish for bad boys, or w/e else. The most annoying thing are these guys who think that its their niceness that keeps them from getting women, instead of confronting the real problem which is their shyness/lack of courage to actually go out there and talk to some women. I mean really... guys younger than us were storming the beaches of Normandy under heavy German machine gun fire just a few decades ago. If they had the courage to do that, YOU have the courage to approach a woman and say hi

    • Dayum! Nice point with that last part.

    • Nice point. Are you Watermelonia?

    • @IceEverest that i am

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with most of your points, for both guys as well as girls.
    A lot of them, like females generally being supported for generalizations they make in comparison to men is a bit of a carryover from how it is in society, too.

    I hope the one about modding doesn't apply to me. I have had a few users her bitch me out and as far as I know still hold the fact that I'm a mod against me, accusing me of banning/removing certain users and posts even though I was in no way involved with that but alas... I suppose 'with great power comes great responsibility.' :P

    • I don't think you'd do that stuff. I'm pretty sure I know who it is.

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What Girls & Guys Said

13 20

  • Well done. One of the first MyTakes on here that I mostly agree with. You do a lot of generalization, but at least it's done based on what you've actually read here. Personally i like this place and I like the posters here. That includes everyone except all the people who don't agree with me, because of course those people are all jerks and trolls. :)

  • Yep. Women can identify with other women, simply because they're women. And that is a generalization, but a scientifically backed one. I think. I think. Men don't do that; they have to have some commonality that extends beyond gender.

    Though, I haven't noticed a male speed bias in posting. There's usually a pretty even mix of female/male posts in the first minutes, that I recall.

    I'm on a feminist trip. What can I say. Particularly, I like the way Karen Straughan phrased it. "When you believe someone is wrong, I believe it is a disservice you do them if you do not correct them." In effect, if you have information they do not, it could be perceived that you are stealing from them by refraining from expressing your perspective. That's a bit of an exaggeration--could be said--but pretty close, in my opinion.

    Really. Because from what I've seen, most women tend to go "Yeah, we can get laid pretty easy." And instinct is instinct. I only pop that out when girls are talking about how utterly terrible they have it. Factothematter is that it simply is harder for males than it is for females. Arguing about it doesn't do anything, but it does if the female thinks that she has it so much harder than males.

    "Act like an adult". I really don't get that. We have this idea of what adults are *supposed* to be, but what they actually are is something entirely different. Shit, just look at Congress. Those are gray haired men and women who almost crashed the government because they were so stubborn they didn't want to make *any* compromises. It takes a specific demeanor to really act "mature", so to speak. To be respectful and understanding of someone else's perception, it takes a stable frame of mind. Which, I don't know about other people, but is pretty rare, for me.

    • Women generally think they can get laid easier just because they're female, even if it's not really so. In other words, if a woman gets laid easy in the same way a man might, she'll mostly think it's just because she's female, not because she had any particular appeal to the guy who fucked her. She won't think she got laid easy simply because she was the guy's type. I think that's the difference in mindset.

    • They decide when sex happens, for the most part, tho. o. o; The ugly girls are pretty much fucked, not in the good way. I think ugly chicks have it harder than ugly guys; but, speaking on averages, it requires more effort on the part of a dude to find sex, rather than a chick. The chick just has to be in public and look decent; the guy has to actively work on his personality, confidence, charisma, approach--it's the job of the guy to woo the woman. A job that requires effort. If a chick went to pretty much any guy and said "lets fuck", if she was even mildly attractive, 70-80% of guys would say "sure". Probably 95% if they were friends or knew each other. I think a "guys type" is a lot wider than a "girls type". They do have higher standards, much due to instinct and reproductive resources. Sperm is cheap, so males lose nothing from boning a subpar female, biologically; but, females could lose 9 months of reproduction time with a possibly better mate.

    • The irony is that women can get laid easier, but they don't like meaningless sex as much as males do. To males, sex is a physical drive; it can be expressed with love or without love. That's a lot more rare with women. The irony is that women want that "special someone" to have sex with, or the sex isn't very fulfilling, whereas it would be more fulfilling as a physical release for a man. This is shown on one-night stands, females have significantly less orgasms than with a male they're in love with. Sex *is* love to most women; whereas it can be love to males, or it can just be a release. That's how I see it, anyway.

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  • I've been here for over three years. I've not asked anyone if I'm pretty and I don't stick up for the females. I don't stick up for anyone. I just answer questions, keep to myself and remove the outrageous questions and stop the nasty people. (y)

    • Good to know :-)

  • Well women do have a 4x greater in group prefference so that is why women stick together with other women. As for the feminist arguments, yeah I argue, but I think its important to do so to ensure that things do not become an echo chamber. Facts and truth are very important and I think personally that they should always be stated. I can understand how it would get frustrating both seeing it and dealing with it but again I do think its important to continue to reiiterate facts as the truth matters much more then feelings.

  • yeaa... I said that a random celebrity is kinda fat and dunno why and how, 5-6 girls started to reply my opinion that how shallow I am. Like I called them fat instead of her.

    • Yep, that's how they go about it, friendo.

    • That's because of female preference and they cannot handle the idea that men could point out things they dislike about women. That's why. So they attack anyone that says anything remotely negative about their fellow sisters, but have no problem saying nasty shit about men.

  • I agree 100% with this take.

  • Hmmm... If I thumbs up a comment it's because I agree with/ like it. It doesn't have anything to do with the person's gender. Nor do I disagree with any other women because I think they are 'trying to get points from the guys'. If I disagree with their comment it's simply because I disagree with it. That's all. There is no agenda.

    • Also I see this with girls and guys but a lot of people 'generally' like to be supported by their peers/ gender. I've taken sides with a friend's boyfriend before to be told "You're my friend. You're supposed to be on MY side". I agree with who I agree with. Period.

    • That's just you.

    • Could also be a lot of other people. The assumption that a bunch of girls disagreed with something you said just because they are ganging up on you for the hell of it is kind of well... Some of them might do that but I doubt that's the case of all of them.

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  • I have two questions... 1. How pretty do you think I am? And 2. Is my penis big enough? Lol😂

  • The feeling I have here is the presence of vocal minorities but that said a lot of what you say is true. I stay away from the live feed and mainly look at topics so I get to a lot of questions/takes late for want of a better phrase "I see a bigger picture". You are correct, a lot of this behaviour exists dare I say it the usual suspects are straight in arguing with each other but if you read all the opinions after a while there are usually quite a few very sensible people on both sides who I feel represent the majority on GaG who just float along "Oh that question interests me, I will leave an opinion to input on discussion".

  • I think I agree with the gist of your take. Moreover, you write very well.

    However, I think a lot of the generalizing has to do with the nature of the website. GaG's format doesn't really lend itself to nuance. I think most people (unless they're eccentric, wordy, perfectionists like me!) will just type out more or less what first comes to mind. Most people simply aren't going to invest the time to make sure that their point is as clear as possible and that all or most of the nuances, subtleties, and potential gaps and misunderstandings of their comments have been covered. I can't say I blame them either. Moreover, for good or ill, the format doesn't allow editing after the fact.

    I agree also that penis size questions are annoying and they really clutter up the site. However, I'll admit I do offer advice on occasion which is because I feel bad for them and I imagine something like that could make a young man very insecure about his body and desirability (in that sense, I also think that it's something with which I think a lot of women could relate).

    I also sort of agree with what you say about the "Am I pretty?" questions (although I very much understand why a lot of those questions get asked and it is for very understandable reasons). I've even asked a similar question maybe a year and a half ago; Perhaps, I'm a bit narcissistic but I was just having a really bad time.

    I sort of agree about not arguing about feminism. Mostly, because the content of the discussions are incredibly shallow because most people, whether they're for it or against it, have a very caricaturistic understanding of feminism.

    Speaking of narcissism, where was my mention! Did you not want to share this with me? WTH!!! :-)

    • Lol. I did want to mention you, but I somehow thought this one might not be one you'd be interested in. But I guess I was wrong! Honestly? I can sort of understand the guys about penis size, but the females asking if they're pretty is really very redundant. Prettiness is in the eye of the beholder. It's subjective. A guy's cock however could be a bad situation if he's particularly small, yeah.

    • The questions stem from the fact that there is a lot of pressure and expectations put on females in our society (and others as well) to be attractive. To a large degree, the value of females in our society (and others) is tied to our looks. It's always been like that but it's gotten progressively worse. That breeds a lot of insecurity, worrying, and a lot of really neurotic behavior, like obsessing or worrying over having something as stupid as a thigh-gap, and especially the epidemic levels of anorexia and bulimia. Sometimes it's just attention seeking, but often when a girl asks if she's pretty , she may as well be asking do if she has value as a person. I see. So you'd thought I'd have volumes to say about male orgasms but not guys and girls behavior!

    • I might say that's half true. I guess the way I see it is, females are sexualized and said to be more attractive and more desirable than men period at the end of the day, just because they're female. An overweight woman or a breastless, bony woman may not be good looking, but at the end of the day they're still seen as able to attract more than men, even if they really aren't; that's just the ignorant way society thinks. I thought you might think a post like this wouldn't be very important, lol. Glad to know I saw the opposite :-)

  • " if we all consider ourselves mature adults - or young adults - you have to act like it"

    vomzi.com/.../laughing-hysterically-gif.gif

    Too much asked from gagers lol

    But good take, dude.

    • And you would be right, lol.

  • Guys try to battle feminists or those who think like it... - a guy picked on me for the exact opposite once, stating that feminism is good because it spares him all the 'being a man' pressure, and basically asking who was i to decide what's manly or not :))) needless to say, i did not contradict him... but my point is, many, many frustrated males will join the feminist camp :))

    • Any man who joins the Feminist camp is an emasculated fuckboy. Just saying.

    • @damnwinter And feminists are fine to have them in their camp because it means they can be the ones in charge at the expense of the guys who don't like/want to have to be a man.

  • You're right about answering takes, the score is 5-1 at time of this 😁

  • This is a place for the delusionals

  • Lol man, from what I know girls and guys and guys actually get on fine, its them men hating women and women hating men that act as a buffer between us seeing eye to eye. I mean if a girl makes a valid point againsy men and someone agrees with here, a guy for example, is cut down as a white knight. If a woman agrees on something like a double standard on women, the men hating women aren't far behind to beat them back. I don't know why but this trend has got to go.

  • Yeah true.

  • media.makeameme.org/.../please-tell-us-j3ht88.jpg
    xD

  • You my friend speak the truth.. :)

    45.media.tumblr.com/.../...8dNLOQ1v1s9fyo1_500.gif

  • "Females generalize... but are supported for it..."

    I think male generalisations have a different tone. When a guy does a bad thing guys think its just one guy being an idiot. But when a girl hurts a guy it's because she is a girl and girls are evil, dumb, irrational, morally inferior blah blah blah. Men don't seem to see women as individuals they see them as 2D identical stereotypes of their gender.

    I think guys also gang up on girls, such as, feminists, as you point out.

    I think there are just as many guys asking if they are hot.

    • I actually think it's the other way around. When a guy hurts a girl, it's because he's selfish, immature, and full of a "typical" male need to ejaculate in her. Women tend to generalize men much more out of their hurt or disappointments with men, and most of us usually agree with them for it. I feel that it's women who don't see men as individuals, but beings they hold in constant contempt based on negative stereotypes of men generated by their own gender and even by other men. If none of this was true you wouldn't have public male icons be in danger of losing their sponsors, support, etc. for generalizing women, but it not happening to public women icons for doing it to men.

    • I don't see nearly as many guys asking if they're hot show up in the feed as females, no.

    • Well perhaps we are both biased by our gender. It's funny on here is see a lot of the same stuff from both sides. 'Why are men so shallow, hurtful, dismissive?' versus 'Why are women so shallow, hurtful, dismissive?'. Maybe we are both just as bad as each other. I guess it is easier to empathise with your own gender.

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  • Yeah I can agree with that lol.

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