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The Difference Between a Slave and a Sub

The Difference Between a Slave and a Sub

The Difference Between a Slave and a Sub

The following is an answer to a young sub who wanted to know the difference between a slave and a sub during a comment on one of her posts on another website.. which follows:

Although I would agree to what you have said I will give you my 40 years of being in this lifestyle. Putting it simply I would say;

· A submissive is someone who negotiates; a slave does not.

· A submissive has limits; a slave has given up all limits except those, which his/her owner sets for them.

· A submissive obeys and serves by choosing to do so each time and retains her will. A slave initially makes a choice to obey his/her master/mistress at all times and then submits to the will of his/her master at all times.

· A submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience.

· A submissive has retained some rights within the context of the D/s relationship, whereas a slave has given up all rights and becomes, in effect, property.

· A submissive is owned, but a slave is possessed.

· A slave is not allowed to sit on furniture or wear clothes, and always kneels at his/her owner’s feet.

· A submissive has a safe-word to end play, while a slave has consented to no-consent.

· A slave must be a submissive, but a submissive is not necessarily a slave, being a submissive is just a step on the way to the “ultimate” state of submission, which is being a slave.

· A slave is more submissive than a “mere” submissive. Submissives are just playing; slaves live the lifestyle.

· A submissive has more self-respect than a slave. Slaves are crazy, because who in their right mind would want to be a slave?

I say this..

~Atlas~ MasterofYou

7 5

Most Helpful Guy

  • Who in their right mind would want to be a slave? as if sadism and masochism perversions has anything to do with right mind, the only part in BDSM that making some sense is that women are usually the ones who are submissive, partially because they are weaker and partially because most women prefer strong man. Many of the subs in BDSM are even calling themselves slaves, so there is really not much of a difference, an "willing" slave is still an slave, and BDSM is making all it's can to make it's look like it's not willing, otherwise chains and ropes was not so popular in BDSM.

    tvtropes.org/.../HappinessInSlavery

    tvtropes.org/.../WomenPreferStrongMen

    cdn.psychologytoday.com/.../...20chart%20image.png

    • I agree with you , however all studies should be taken with a grain of salt. They drew their BDSM samples from a few clubs and online forums that didn’t really match the control groups—the BDSM samples, for instance, were older, more male, and more educated—and might not represent kinksters generally.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Whilst I appreciate that this is an explanation that applies to the BDSM community this is actually a good way of explaining the difference between a heterosexual relationship with traditional gender roles and an abusive one. I have a hard time explaining to the modern woman that submission does not equate to oppression. The key word being choice. You submit from a point of respect not because you are forced to. It's funny the idea of being submissive is a fetish whereas it used to be the norm!

    • Actually I will give you later my take about the abuse in the bdsm community... I never condone abuse... I am a hedonist , sensualist , top... Master D/s relationship... Thank you for your comment it is well taken... :)

    • So... OP... you say "slaves are crazy". Have you had one?

    • @CheerGirl38139 Yes some are crazy to take the abuse that some Doms dish out... Yes I have had a slave relationship but prefer a sub relationship over slave.. I do not condone any kind of abuse that some in this lifestyle enjoy sadisticly .. I am a hedonist , sensualist , a top... Master of, in a D/s relationship... I believe a every woman should be pleasured not brutally abused...

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 11

  • I don't have a very strong dom nature, but I love the idea of a sub.
    I love how you put it where you make sure it is clear that she has not abandoned consent in any way. There is a world of difference between being dominate, and being oppressive.
    Why would anyone want a sub who wasn't happy, eager to please for the sake of her attachment to you and the pleasure you promise her for obedience?

    • I agree... And in the end, it is all about CONSENT and respect for the sub...

    • exactly. I don't see the appeal in being a sadist, and women who like being abused tend to be... sadly damaged. I would rather be happy, have her be happy, and work out something kinky we both really enjoy as part of our lives.

  • Submissive appeals to me a lot more than slave, that is really great i can see the difference between the two and submission is much more romantic i think, the fact of getting comforted at the end is the best i think... i really dunno how that looks in real life but submissive seems much more like the things i would want... still not 100% sure but still interresting

  • great take!

    • Thank you ... You are a Editor at the young age of 17... good for you... Do you think I will be an Editor some day? lol Anyway thank you again

    • nah, editors are not that strictly chosen, so being an editor is not that great sure, keep writing mytakes and you'll be very close to it

    • You are very sweet...:)

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  • As I say in most of these discussions to each their own and once consent has been given plus people are in the right place mentally to give consent with no one been hurt/abused/neglected (within reason). The world of BDSM is not for all but those that partake seem to really enjoy it, if people are comfortable and happy, leave them to it.
    I enjoyed your take about the subtle differences between a sub and a slave. I have learnt a few new things by listening to discussions on this site, it is good to learn and be informed. Whether I would indulge or not is another question but maybe I might see some things that picque my interest so I will keep an open mind.

  • Too extreme. But unrealistic. Never been a slave from another life time. This is seriously out of my sphere of existence and sounds like a funny joke.

    • Seriously this is real... this is not a funny joke...

    • Nice movie. 50 shades of gray but shallow. They shouldn't down play trauma for a fetish. Someppl kill because it happened to them.

    • I never read the book or saw the movie... I here the book and the movie do not portray what is real... There are many types of Kink though..

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  • Nice MyTake, very interesting

  • I want a slave. I like subs too, but I wanna try to have a slave eventually.

  • A few questions I have about your community as I have been toying with the idea of joining it myself:

    What is the difference between a D/s relationship and a relationship where one simply wears the pants?

    What if in a Master/slave relationship the slave begins to feel like he/she is being pushed too far and is getting disturbed at the conditions? Does he/she have any right or say in it if their mental/emotional health is being pressed?

    Are the more tame or "less crazy" members of your community ever seen as weak or unfit to be in the community by the more "extreme" people?

    • (Answer 1) Control.. the dominate partner is always the controller and leader in all aspects in a D/s relationship.. Trust.. the sub/slave must be able to trust his/her Dom.. Trust must be earned.. Respect is required on both parties of the relationship.. (answer2) A slave has no say in a relationship,, A sub does.. It would be smart on the Doms part to give leeway to a slave as not to push to hard.. Don’t abuse your property.. (Answer3) No……….. Everyone has there Kink, no one group is superior over another as fa

    • So if the master abuses, the slave has no where to turn to... no options for solace.. this saddens me dearly just thinking about it. I can only imagine what it would be like.

  • That sound freaky as shit😦

    Why would someone want to be treated like property? Like a slave? What could someone possibly get from that relationship to make it worth stripping yourself of any kind of self respect?

    • They do... This is all real...

    • Yeah but why? Why do people do that stuff?

    • To fulfil a deep psychological need, I imagine. Being a slave might appeal to someone whose experiences with responsibility and choice were tremendously taxing or traumatic. For example, someone who started supporting the family financially as a child, or someone who had/ has to make life-and-death choices frequently in their line of work.

  • "· A slave is not allowed to sit on furniture or wear clothes, and always kneels at his/her owner’s feet."

    I disagree, a Slave obeys masters rules and does what master says. If master says slave can sit on the couch then slave can sit on the couch, if master says slave sleeps nude while cuddling the toilet then that's what slave does.

  • Lol... we are all slaves to money. Maybe slaves are not as crazy as you think.

    • Maybe you are...

    • Everyone of us are unless you are a Rothschild or some fuckin bum living in the streets. Even if you work a job you love, you still are forced to submit to the law and the economic state of the environment. Any man with a hint of logic knows this.

    • Money is not the root of all evil; the love of it is. The problem with wealth is not in having it. It is how we get it. It is how we guard it. And it is how we give it.

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  • But don't lots of subs choose to be slaves, if they want to? Some people like the extreme stuff.

    • Slaves are in a group of their own there is no other submissive group that can possibly equal their level of commitment, sacrifice, talent, experience or will to submit. They will take any kind brutality handed out... So no I disagree... They are the top dogs of the lifestyle and you just have to be totally crazy to be one of them... I do not know the ratio off hand but most will just be subs...

  • A slave also picks cotton.
    Or am I getting my slaves wrong?

    • Yes you are getting confused,,, we all get that way... sometimes

  • It sounds disgusting either way.

    • May be but you have much to learn about life...

  • Nice take...

    • Thank you...

    • You are welcome

  • I've had enough kink already

  • I guess I'm submissive, all I need now, is to find a dominant girl.

    • Why do you feel your submissive?

    • Because I like girls who like to be on top.

    • That ha nothing to do with whether you are dominate or submissive...

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