Sexual Relationships
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Things About Sex That You Were Never Taught

There are some things about sex that you were never taught in school, but gradually became aware of their existence because your peers or friends once talked about them in a sexually explicit manner, because you watched porn before, or because you actually had first-hand experience with sexual intercourse.

Things About Sex That You Were Never Taught

1. People move during sex.

Some people say that movements are not required or necessary for sexual intercourse. Technically, they are wrong. In many cases, there is indeed movement. The act of penetration involves movement. Changing sex positions definitely involves movement. Sometimes, the mouths may be moving, as the partners communicate with each other.

2. People must be wide awake to have sex.

One common euphemism regarding sex is "sleeping together". However, this should not be misconstrued as literal sleeping, because in many cases, the participants are wide awake. Sure, they may sleep after sex, but during sex, they are usually wide awake. In fact, having sex with a sleeping person without the person's permission counts as rape.

3. Sex typically refers to the situation where the penis or some kind of object is inserted into the mouth, vagina, or anus; or when any part of a person's sex organs is erotically stimulated by a partner or by self with or without penetration.

One common euphemism regarding sex is "bedding someone" or "taking someone to bed" with you. This should not be misconstrued as literally sleeping in the same bed with someone or using the bed as the only place where people can have sex. In actuality, people can have sex just about anywhere in whatever configuration you can think of, as long as some kind of sexual stimulation between two partners or by oneself is possible or is taking place.

4. Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable, intimate activity.

If sex is not pleasurable, then people will look at you funny and think you're doing it wrong or something is wrong with you.

5. Sex and reproduction is not the same.

Most of the time, in tabloid newspapers and magazines or common hearsay, people use "sex" to describe the act of sexual intercourse or some kind of sexual activity, however defined. They often do not mean "making babies", unless that is part of the intention. Furthermore, married couples and unmarried couples use birth control, severing the connection between sexual intercourse and reproduction.

6. Accidental pregnancies and births are not necessarily caused by rape.

They can be caused by improper use of condoms/barriers, no use of condoms/barriers, absence of good birth control, or birth control failure. In addition, uneducated people may not know that sex leads to babies, so they may have sex "because it feels good" and accidentally get themselves or their partners pregnant.

7. Sex is based on mutual consent.

Sex does not require any emotional intimacy, love, or affection. Actually, as long as two or more partners agree enthusiastically to have sex, then sex can take place and not turn into rape (forced sex). Depending on where you live, consent may be the only thing you need without getting in trouble with the law. Privacy, financial transactions, marriage status, sexuality, etc. only matter in different legal jurisdictions.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • When I was a kid and first learning about what sex is, I was confused by a lot of these types of concepts. This article probably seems obvious to most people on this site, but it's actually very appropriate for the younger set who are still figuring out what sex even is and what people mean when they talk about it. Kudos for promoting thorough sex education. I hope you won't let the critics get to you.

    • Kudos for supporting me. You have no idea what I've gone through to put together this list. I've suffered humiliation, scorn, and false accusations of trolling simply for asking specific questions about sex. I have to admit that I was a bit naive and gave out my true age, only to be ridiculed for not knowing the "basics of sex". TBH, I was completely oblivious of all this before 18, and it was only after 18, when I became exposed to explicitly sexual materials. I'd say 25% of my sex ed is from school, and the other 75% is from Internet porn and discussions and articles. So, one reason for writing this article is to save relatively old virgins from being humiliated when they may accidentally ask a seemingly naive question about sex.

    • It's ridiculous that people are getting so riled up over something that is only positive. So what if they already knew this stuff? That doesn't mean everyone does.

    • Yeah, if anyone were to post a question regarding the mechanics of sex, then I'd answer with a straight face exactly what goes on. However, I should explicitly say that sex can mean different things -- vaginal, oral, anal, and non-penetrative. And different people, based on their personal definitions, argue what counts as sex or not, when someone has lost virginity, and what is rape.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Things About Water That You Were Never Taught
    ●It's wet
    ●It's liquid
    ●It's made up of hydrogen and oxygen
    ●You cannot live without it
    ●You can drink it

    • Actually, you have to be taught those things. Well, you are taught how to connect your sensory experiences with descriptive words in order to articulate your thoughts better.

    • These things are obviously understood if you have common sense.

    • The fact that water is composed of hydrogen and oxygen is common knowledge that is learned and taught. It is not common sense.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • This is common sense though. Who didn't know this? Lol

  • I feel like this is satire, but I don't get the point being made. :/

  • I thought this would be more along the lines of "things you gradually learned:"
    1) grab a handful of her hair and pull
    2) bite to leave a mark
    3) toys aren't only for children

    • I thought the same thing. Apparently this is "sex, for those who never heard of the word sex". I like your list better

    • #3 Toys aren't only for children, hilarious!

  • Haha Okay... yes, all of these things are perfectly implicit and everyone who has a brain should've figured all of these out by now. xD

  • 8. The vagina is one of the warmest parts of a woman's body.
    9. Sex fluids can make you itchy. This can be a natural reaction, not necessarily a disease.
    10. Pressing each other's chests isn't purely for groping, it's also weight support. Partners who "conveniently" forget may be doing so for passive-aggressive reasons.
    11. If some of her natural lube leaks out onto your legs, this is because her legs and yours are also in contact, and will endure even greater friction.
    12. Even good performers can have bad days.

  • Dafuq?
    You're telling me that some people think that to have sex you lie next to each other in bed, insert the penis into the vagina, and then fall asleep immediately?

  • People are actually awake when they sleep together? 😱😱😱

  • It is so long since I am the naïve stage that I have probably forgotten most of the misconceptions I had - Don't forget I grew up in a different era with no internet, I was probably mid teens before I saw an adult magazine and probably late teens maybe even 20s before I saw porn - So my guide would have been movies/TV while some were quite racy, they would have been still unrealistic - I surmise I would have been clueless up to about 14 - I don't remember any Eureka moments just that I gained knowledge through osmosis from family, sex ed, peers and early dating.

  • ... well that was surprisingly obvious.

  • In this day and age, we can't afford to take stuff like this for granted. I would say some of this is not entirely accurate, but other posters have mentioned some inaccuracies, and I won't nitpick. One would hope these things are obvious, learned, or known. I feel like something important is missing because this obviously is not an all-inclusive list. Links or where to look for more information might help!

  • Things About Being Obvious You Were Never Thought
    -It's Obvious
    -It's Obvious
    -It's Obvious
    -It's Obvious
    -It's Obvious
    -It's Obvious
    And big surprise
    -It's Obvious

    • Obviously...

    • @MoonlitSonata Obviously;p

    • vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/.../latest

    • Show All

  • Oh God. Another cowardly anonymous feminist pre-teen wants to tell us about the real world.

    Seriously, all of these items are super-"Duh!"

    I never had ANY of the misconceptions you're talking about even BEFORE sex ed. Also, the things that don't refer to local colloquialism ARE in a sex ed class.

    But I do have one thing that needs to be addressed. Sex is not BASED on mutual consent. If it were, rape would't exist. The mere fact that sometimes rape happens is proof-positive that sex isn't based on consent.

    And seriously, shove your stupid "enthusiastic consent" crap. Consent is agreement to do a thing. It can be given implicitly, without speaking any words whatsoever. This is how most people negotiate sexual encounters and your "enthusiastic consent" standards are mood-killers that nobody is going to go along with. Normal, well-adjusted adults, communicate intimacy through body-language, not a 50-long series of questions talking about the advancement of the sex you're trying to have.

    Feminism is a violent religion of hatred.

  • I hope this a joke and people don't really think these things.

  • Uh this is all common sense and really general and open knowledge that just about every person above the age of 10 knows. In one word obvious

  • I agree with all except 5. The purpose of sex is for bonding and reproduction biologically and even psychologically. Yes, you can certainly have sex for pleasure only or circumvent pregnancy, but the purpose is still the same.

    • Only in heterosexual intercourse. Reproduction certainly doesn't apply to homosexual couples. There is the epigenetic cause of homosexuality, but that still doesn't explain how homosexuality trait is allowed to persist in different species.

    • I'd say if you look at humans and some other species like bonobos, sex is used for a variety of social reasons, bonding is one of them, but not the only one.

  • i can see why you went anon. i wouldn't wanna make a completely retarded and obvious mytake and get publicly scorned through the town square for it, either :D

  • Actually, I didn't know how my penis worked until well into my 20s.

    Yeah.

    Seriously.

    It was years after I've lost my virginity. One day, I was watching some porn and I realized that hey... foreskins are meant to roll all the way back...

    Anyway... I should probably spare you lot from the details.

    • You're never too old to learn new things. Wait, you didn't know how your penis worked until your mid-twenties? Are you referring to the ejaculatory function or the micturitional function? Those are two separate, different things. The first is understandable, if you've never had an erection or ejaculation or nocturnal sexual emissions. The second... uh, should be learned during your potty training years.

    • No... I didn't know about the foreskin functions.

  • already knew it.

  • I wasn't taught how to remove the stains and I still need to learn how.

  • I am amazed. Not sure by what, though. You point out the most obvious things, too obvious, it deserves recognition in its own right. What's the purpose of this take?

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