Male Slut Shaming: The ACTUAL Function Of Male on Female Slut Shaming

Splithead

The ACTUAL function of Male on Female Slut Shaming. Not all players and promiscuous women are sluts but Male Slut Shamers are themselves Sluts.

Not all players and promiscuous women are sluts but Male Slut Shamers are themselves Sluts.

It all has to do with control. Self control and situational control during sexual negotiations aka flirtation as well as the "post game cleanup". Generally with sex, whoever wants it less has control. This sets up a game of chicken, where both of parties are attempting to "give less fucks" yet not seem so disinterested as to back the opponent into a corner where their only move is to actually disengage from the game. Note, I say opponant and not enemy. We're playing a game of skill here not fighting a war.

Essentially both people are trying to say "Well I'm down if you are, but I could go either way". If you're both doing this, you're actually both players and generally this is what we're all trying for, to be evenly matched in skill with our partener. Just as its more fun to play chess with someone on your level, no one wants to be utterly destroyed in 3 moves or destroy their opponant as quickly during a friendly game of Let's Make A Deal (X Rated Edition). We didn't used to acknowledge the female player much but she's out there and she always has been.

Now generally women have control in this game simply because they want it less. This is because:

1) Women physically have more risk associated with sex (from risk of pregnancy to danger from a stronger sexual partener to the physical possibility of not cumming) and so it's not nearly as likely to be an entirely positive experience as it is for men.

2) Though women's sex drives can reach the exact same highs as those of men, it's a finer tuned instrument. It takes a far more specific input to activate it and so it's much less likely to go off by accident.

Being slut shamed is something reserved only to women, BECAUSE they are able to do something which men aren't. If they are terrible players, they can still have tons of sex. They can actually want sex MORE and get more. When men are overly eager, they're generally turned away. Not so with women.

In any case the truth is that a man calling a woman he has slept with a slut is actually a projection of his feelings for himself as well as her placed entirely onto her post coitus. It takes two to tango as they say and this is as close as many men visibly get to post coital regret. In truth he feels cheap for having sleapt with a woman who provided no challenge, perhaps for working for a long time to sleep with a woman who's personality he despised even, thus meaning that he rewarded and incompetant player with sex.

Any confident person would view having sex with them as a privilege. The accusation then is leveled premptively and defensively toward the woman because the truth is that he knows that he did and might generally find it hard not to have sex with any woman that makes it significantly easy for him. He both wants that known and doesn't want it known though. He wants women to not be intimidated of sleeping with him by letting them know he is a man who is basically a guarenteed lay and yet he doesn't want the negative implications which that makes about his self worth or sense of self worth wide known. He wants to have sex with all sexually attractive women but he doesn't want to be in a situation where any of these hot women view him as disposable an approach him with little effort or respect. He also wants to view himself as an elite man who was judged as worthy to compete sexually with woman he judges as worthy to compete sexually, not one of the masses of "boytoys" used as play things. So the move here is to let it be known that yes, he will have sex with any beautiful easy woman and yet remove the negative implications by putting them all on the woman. "He just sleeps with sluts, he is not the slut." As he spins it, he is a competant player and beautiful women seem to throw themselves into his lap, but they shouldn't get the idea that they are indeed using him. By slut shaming, he gets the benefit of the occasional easy lay between real conqests and yet shames most women into being competent players ie: engaging in the game of chicken/flirtation/hard to get/the chase.

Men are already shamed into being competent players through rejection and must learn to build a personal, phisical and social presence more tailored to a woman's attraction cues in order to qualify as a worthy player. The laws of nature dictate this, in most animals the male is heavily ornamented to attract the female or the female generally has sexual power, not the other way around. The natural counter, and this is simply an anecdotal point and not an sort of codoning, is forceful reproduction by the pysicalmy stronger sex.

Civilization attempts to do away with murder and rape. Following this men had modeled society to balance this new natural power imbalance in favor of women with a corresponding societal power imbalance, requiring that women had certain skills, physical features, sensabilities and such. As we as a society began to loosen those requirements and women were free to define themselves more broadly, slut shaming grew proportionally as a method of social control. It is an amplified version of traditional views of of chastity. Since men find it harder to reject sex of any kind, which womem have far less of a problem doing, and out right requiring too many things if women is no longer in fashion, we slut shame more.

This said, the men who slut shame are themselves Sluts or in the case of those who have not sleapt with the women in question, impotent sluts who would atually have sleapt with said woman gladly given the chance. Alternately these impotent men may just be trying to adopt the strategy of slut shaming used by actual players who occasionally have sex with and slut shame "easy" girls (and who are thus occasional sluts themselves). The hope of these impotents is to blend with these men and camouflage with them for a multitude of reasons that all boil down to "fake it till you make it".

People don't realize it but Male Slut Shaming is becoming fashionable now. A male slut is a Dog or more reently a Fuckboi (when said by women), a guy who has sex with "anything with a hole and a heartbeat". Generally being labeled as such is the exact same function as slut shaming and is the failure of the man to displace his "slutty" behaviors fully on women. If he gets this label among the high value women he attempts to sleep with, the non slutty women which are his main target may cease dealing with him leaving him only to sleep with the "sluts" thus creating a situation where sluts and fuckbois mainly have high frequency casual sex with eachother.

Withing such a closed system will be easy sex, animosity, disease, frustration and incredibly physically and superficially socially attractive parteners. Longterm pairing will be unsuccessful at best and codependent at worst.

This is not in favor of either gender. As far as I could, I kept it neutral. I probably didn't manage it because I'm human. Please excuse the leanings. It's as balanced as I can see it and make it.

Male Slut Shaming: The ACTUAL Function Of Male on Female Slut Shaming
2
11
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • Rawrzz
    I really think it's more of a religious and cultural and instinctual thing. Ultimately instinctual. Slut shaming women is a way to say "Hey. You are damaging human population growth by being flippant with your finite eggs. We need those to boost population growth." Our instincts are 20,000+ years old. They don't realize we have 7 billion people clogging up the works.

    Though yeah. Women have all of the sexual power. Most of the actual power, too. Female power is implicit; male power is explicit.

    Slut shaming grew? Nooooooo. No bro. You know what they did to sluts in the past? They killed them by throwing rocks at them. I'd say we're much, much, much more forgiving of sluts in this day and age. If all they get is a "Hey. You're a slut." in contrast to the possibility of being beaten to death in a barrage of rocks, I'd say we're advancing to tolerance. God I hate that word. Acceptance.

    You're saying that traditional views of chastity was a cause--I think it was the result of instinct.

    Exactly how are you measuring this slut shaming thing? I was thinking on a long-term scale, but you believe that slut shaming has increased in modern times? I don't think so. Why do you think that?

    And, I've known a bunch of male players. They're not jaded like that. Not the ones I've met, anyway. If anything, they're more confident and secure in the fact that they have boned a bunch of chicks.

    Though, I'll say it. I'd have sex with anything with a heartbeat and a vagina. And moderately attractive features. Hell, probably slightly less than moderately attractive.

    You really think long term pairing has worked in the past? Because I ascribe the increasing downfall of marriage as a result of less piety, less religious bonds in marriage. In the past, long term marriages might have lasted longer, but only--I believe--because they had the idea that God would sodomize them if they divorced. I don't know if you understand exactly how awesomely I used that word, but it was pretty nice.

    I agree with some of the things you've stated, but that second to last paragraph tho. It seems like you're the biggest slut shamer. If I understood. I would have liked a bit less of a vague conclusion, or, a more precise one. But, decent take. Even though I think you're mostly wrong. Some good logical leaps.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Splithead

      I had to stay vague to keep it balanced. I tied parts off neatly, didn't go into evolutionary psychology or anything. In a weird way, I've sort of been learning to write worse arguments if I ever want a discussion. Am I a slut shamer? Not out loud no but I've been pissed off at a girl who turned me down only to end up with someone I considered myself better than. I could see how that could lead to it... especially if you believe she's better than you and subconsciously want to lower your esteem and thus fear of her in your own or others eyes.

      You know you're entirely right about slut shaming having not increased overall what I meant is that it has increased as a percentage of the tactics used to socially control female sexuality as other things have become less effective or fallen out of style. One of the reasons slut shaming hasn't been hurt as much as a method for this is BECAUSE of how much women engage in it thmselves... in any case it is just the most used tool of control now.

    • Rawrzz

      Ahhhhh, okay. I gotcha. I get it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • redeyemindtricks
    Nope.

    The ONLY men who "slut-shame" women are... men who want to fuck them, but can't.
    Period.
    End of.

    Sexually successful men do not shame promiscuity. That's just... not a thing. Nope.
    If you know any "players" who DO try to shame promiscuous women, then you know faux-"players" who are so bad at it that they can't even get laid.
    Is this still revelant?
    • the_rake

      men who want to fuck them but can't probably do not even know who the woman's other sexual partners are anyway.

    • @the_rake Oh please, as if ANY "slut-shaming" has ever been based on actual facts. Whether by men or by women.

    • the_rake

      if it's not factual, then women have nothing to lose by sleeping around - after all the jealous guys are just gonna slut shame them anyway :P

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

Loading...

What Girls & Guys Said

110
  • hellionthesage
    Basicly slut shaming is because a promiscuis woman while fine for quick and easy sex (hence so many men not looking for anything more like them) are terrible for long term relationships (their have been many studies supporting this rangning from higher divorce/cheating rates to lower levels of relationship satisifaction). For women sex is a greater risk because if the man leaves she is the one who is stuck with the consequences (pregnancy) this is generally why women are less promiscuis then men because they have the higher risk. This is also why a man doesn't really care about a womans past if he is looking for sex because it doesn't affect him. But inversely a man is far more likely to care when looking for a relationship because her past actions absolutely impact him and since a relationship is much more costly to him (masive expenditure of resources) he now has to be as selective with his long term partner as women are with their short term ones. This is why slut shaming exists because a man doesn't want to spend his life with a promiscouis woman because of the many risks that are inherint to it and women originally did not approve of promiscuity in women because it helped discourage women from thinking only of the present with complete disregard for how those behaviors would impact their future (ie not being wanted because of her sexual pass thus making it harder to find a suitable long term partner.).
  • aliceinwonderland69
    This is great by the way.
    But why can't the sluts just fuck each other and be happy. Also leave the rest of us alone. Cos when sluts and fuckboys try to fuck non-promiscuous people they often lie and cheat and break hearts.
    • normalice

      not a bad idea. But in our sexually repressed world, It's hard to know who's who..

  • skeptic007
    Not all players and promiscuous women are sluts but Male Slut Shamers are themselves Sluts.

    YOU ARE AN IDIOT DON'T MAKE STATEMENTS THAT AREN'T TRUE
    IF YOU DON'T KNOW SHUT UP
    • Splithead

      What's wrong it the statement. I'm not saying that dudes who slut shame are always sluts either. I'm saying if you define a slut as someone who has sex cheaply then a guy who slut shames... usually because he would have wanted to have sex with the "slut" even though he doesn't value them much above their physical traits... could be seen as a slut. Because he himself doesn't value them much... so much so that he insults them, yet he's dtf so long as he can shame them after. So in a way isn't he sort of having sex cheaply? I mean I'd say I'm slutty when I settle for a chick at last call after exhausting other options lol. Am I always like tat... no and I don't really slut shame but still. At that point I lowered my standards to the level where I was most likely to get laid. Not the level where I was most likely to find someone truly worth laying. So that's my experience and I've seen similar with others. Gimmi a counterpoint bruh

    • Azara

      lol why so defensive...

  • cjmtherfcker
    I seriously hate what they have done to the term fuckboy. I guess dog was not derogatory enough?
    • Splithead

      Yea... I heard a girl define fuckboi like this and I was like... that's wrong. This is a black term that means other shit but then I checked urban dictionary and was like FUCK. Cultural appropriation strikes again.

  • Polocrew
  • CT_CD
    Promiscuous women are gross
  • Noxifer626
    You are overthinking this way too much.
    • Splithead

      This while site is built around people over thinking something so simple that cavemen have been doing it forever... hooking up and getting down. In fact you could say all of sociology is over thinking shit. You don't have to understand any if this stuff to engage in it. It's fun for me to puzzle people out. It's m version is sudoku.

    • Noxifer626

      No, one thing is analyzing something, and another is overthinking it.

    • Splithead

      I'd be curious to know how you define the line.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    what the hell
  • Anonymous
    Women slut shame other women though...
    • Splithead

      Yea. I didn't touch that. Woulda been too long and I'd have been more wrong about that.

  • Anonymous
    Women slut shaming functions for this:

    1. Sex is a commodity that women use to lure men into commitment. I've literally heard girls encourage one another to withhold and cut down on sex so men would commit more. In fact a going trend on tinder is many women want to get a relationship from you first before giving out sex. In short when a slut sleep with many guys she vastly reducing other women's hands in getting commitment from men for relationship. Women put in place slut shaming to ensure that sex remains a high commodity. You can see a perfect example of this where women like or encourage any my take or question that places high emphasis on sex.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a26344-you-have-to-experience-sex-to-truly-appreciate-it

    2. For male slut shaming is put in place to discourage promiscuity. A woman can always be 100% sure, the child is hers. A man cannot. Women who are promiscious are more likely to divorce, cheat, and cuckold a man. So one of men's social measure to prevent this is to ensurer that promiscuous women are seen as bad and not encourage for LTR.
  • Anonymous
    Sluts are the best thing that has happened to this world and have the power to save us. Religion and politics and corporations have destroyed our planet, and sluttiness is the only solution. God bless Sluts, I love you, and thank you for your great service.

    Anyone who feels otherwise is stupid, brainwashed, and pretty much a worthless human being (there are many).7

    Humans are not special, your ideas are stupid, your opinions are worthless.

    Praise the slut!
    • Splithead

      Who said I don't like sluts lol.

    • Anonymous

      Not I.

      When I said your ideas are stupid etc I meant the general "you," not you Asker in particular.

Loading...