An argument against bathroom segregation, from a woman!

dragonfly6516

An argument against bathroom segregation, from a woman.

Google "Club1" in Savannah Ga. You'll see some pretty famous names from the Trans community, and it's a well-known gay bar and nightclub.

I used to visit the club every Thursday night in the early 2000's for the themed "Goth NIght". The club has 3 floors, and on Thursdays, the main dance floor was always an 80/20 mixture of mostly hetero male and female 18+ art students, and military.

There were no established "Men's" or "Women's" rooms. There were stalls, or urinals. The entire "stalls" bathroom, other than the space inside the stalls, could be seen from the doorway, which was always open. The straight men often used the "stalls" room for the safety of privatized wooden walls. I honestly feel that forcing the men to use the "urinals" room would have been unfair here, as they woudn't have felt comfortable in believeing that every man would be staring at their junk.

I'm straight myself, but I knew going into the bathrooms that someone in there might decide to stare, leer, or even physically flirt and grope me. The ONE time I ever felt that I may be in some kind of danger, it was another woman trying to kiss me, very aggressively. I was inside of a stall, sitting on the toilet with my panties around my knees, she forced the door open, and herself onto me. She was a drunk 30-something, at the time I was 19.

It was a man who stepped in to save me, as he was both strong enough to pull her off without hurting either of us, and he was allowed to enter the unisex restroom. A large man with long hair, a mountain man beard, and decked head to toe in leather Harley gear. He wasn't a bouncer, heck I don't even know if he was gay or straight! He was just a decent human being who tried to help someone in trouble. He called a cab for her, put her into it, and then he bought me a coke to try and help me feel better. I have never seen him since, as he was only a tourist passing through.

Bathroom segregation does not prevent or reduce the likelihood of rape or sexual harassment. Last time I checked, humans cannot see through bathroom stall walls. If you're inside the stall, not only can he not see you, you can't see him, not seeing you. If anyone is going into a bathroom to "get their perv on", they're inside a stall where YOU would have to be the one creepin to know what they are doing behind their closed stall door. The bathroom lobby is still a public area where it's ILLEGAL to "whip it out".

Rape, stalking, and harassment are a conscious choice; those who make that choice will still follow you into single sex bathroom to take what they want from you if they are already that skewed to make the choice to stalk and rape in the first place.

Bathroom segregation does not protect your sense of decency, modesty, respectability, or your moral compass. Your own choices do that. No one has any problems using the single bathroom at the jiffy mart, unless you don't use public facilities, so why do we need a second entirely separate room? I thought we were on a movement towards gender equality.

An argument against bathroom segregation, from a woman!
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous
    There are more important and urgent problems to be solved in the world. I remember at my university, a place pretending to actively stand against the world's most pressing problems, some students would constantly annoy everyone with this sort of thing. Don't get me wrong, but I honestly think there are things that are worth our attention more. Like in some places people don't even enjoy the luxury of this kind of bathrooms. Clean water? Not even for srinking, let alone to flush the toilet with. How about a take on that?
    Is this still revelant?
    • This take was only meant as an opinion on an issue that I have first hand experience with. I did not post this for education or awareness. But in the end it doesn't matter what any of us post, because people will only read about issues they care about. Americans in particular don't care about issues that they don't have to deal with.

      I personally go out into the homeless camps in my city once a week to offer jugs of water, batteries, help build, or offer help in finding connections and resources to help themselves. My best friend is living out there. We've been keeping video logs of his life out there, and when he's left there, we're going to post his full experiences online.

Most Helpful Guy

  • QuestionMan
    There are 2 problems with allowing trannies access to another genders bathroom.
    1) It's a slippery slope that anyone can use to get in and possible sexually assault a woman.
    2) It accepts transgenderism as normal rather than a mental illness which it is.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWChFdfH94g
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • mistixs
    "Rape, stalking, and harassment are a conscious choice; those who make that choice will still follow you into single sex bathroom to take what they want from you if they are already that skewed to make the choice to stalk and rape in the first place."

    What if a guy gets turned on by hearing a woman piss or shit (yes I've heard that some men do get turned on by that)
    • Yeah, men can't control themselves when they hear pee. When I pee and it hits the water I just get hypnotized like, "rape rape rape rape rape," starts pounding in my head.

    • mistixs

      @ColinHarvey Most men aren't rapists but there are some creeps out there and I'm just against anything that may cause even one more rape to happen.

    • I'm good when I take my sterilizer pills. But I gotta bust a load when that funky rhythm starts drummin'

    • Show All
  • Riggers
    Yup, So, Apparently nowa'days its considered sexist and inequality to not want a little girl walking past urinals where 30 year old men have their dicks hanging out...

    I am sick to death of how everything, even things like this, That are so completely non issues and utterly pathetic ''social problems'' that are made out to be such a massive issue. When... it isn't.

    Tell me, Has the fact you have ever had your own toilet for your gender EVER negatively effected your life? Or the majority of peoples? No, It hasn't..

    And no, I like urinals, Unlike women, Us guys do not HAVE to sit down, i LIKE not sitting down. IT IS QUICKER to just go to a urinal. And we should get that because some arty-farty overly sensitive liberal mongtard claims inequality? Fuck that shit.

    I do not want to share a toilet with women. I dont want to go to wash my hands to see 20 chicks doing their makeup at the sinks, I dont want to go into a bathroom with tampon machines and shit.

    Stop making non issues an issue.
    • I did that when I was little because my dad had to take me to the restroom and he obviously couldn't accompany me into the women's. It seriously was not traumatizing.

    • @samhradh_leannan YES! I'm not traumatized, I was like "I NEED TO PEE WHERE IS THE TOILET" not "oh my god dicks"

    • @FallOutBoy2001 Haha exactly, you're just going to the restroom, it's not a big deal. Also people are pretty discreet, they're not doing the helicopter all over the place.

  • Red_Arrow
    About using the single bathroom at the jiffy mart (almost said jiffy lube), it is a single person at a time bathroom with a lock, so of course people do not have a problem with it.

    Beyond that... I pretty much agree with all. I used to bounce at a gay bar, It was in a bar that used to be a straight bar, so normal male and female restrooms. But having been converted to a gay bar, different "rules" applied. Basically you used whichever bathroom had room. Both sexes were using them. Probably 80% to 90% were gay, but nobody minded at all.

    Some nudist resorts, especially the smaller ones, use one restroom for both sexes, using the common sink area and several individual stalls.

    While in Japan many years ago I went to a theater that had one bathroom. As you walk in you walked past a long line of urinals, and then there were the stalls. Urinals were obviously being used by males, stall by both sexes. Women walked behind the men at the urinals to get to the stalls. And everybody was happy.

    In today's society, single bathrooms for both sexes will generally not be accepted. People are raised to believe that separate facilities are necessary. (At least in the western countries.) But among the gays, and many of the younger partying set, single facilities are acceptable or at leat closer to acceptable.

    Excellent Take.
  • KRIEL55
    how are separate bathrooms segregating. there are very good and serious reasons why we have separate bathrooms (the main one is rape) and not only would more women be raped, men most likely would be too. after being checked out by women while using urinals. yeah it'd really help out the LGBT community but they wouldn't be the only ones going in there. i bet plenty of straight people would go in there too just to rape someone
    • And how does segregating men from a woman's bathroom keep other women from raping each other? DId you even read the article? Another woman tried to force herself onto me in a non-segregated unisex bathroom, and she forced her way into the stall I was inside of.

    • KRIEL55

      but thats less common. i've never had that happen to me but i can see how that could happen ones in a while. rape would be a WAY bigger problem if men were allowed into womens bathrooms.

  • RationalMale
    Sooo the problem is, where does it end?

    You accept transgenderism, most "transgender" people haven't even gone through the surgery.

    And just like that, you legit have no way to stop guys from going in the women's locker rooms at the pool. And let's be real... yeah, it's going to happen quite soon, and already has been.
  • Prof_Don
    Who is going to build the physical infrastructure for ANOTHER bathroom facility? Do you really expect small businesses, who get squeezed with minimal profit margins and with taxation, to foot the bill for this?

    Why not let these transgender people use the bathroom based on the gender they currently identify with?
    • Prof_Don

      I don't like being "that guy", but when it comes to all these liberal inclusive ideas, the "how do we pay for it?" angle is almost never discussed, and that really is important. Money doesn't grow on trees.

    • Taking down the gender signs on the door is 100% free.

    • Prof_Don

      Oic, that's way lower cost (making 2 new signs )... but why are we doing this instead of transgenders simply using the bathroom of the gender they identify with?

    • Show All
  • dudeman
    im ok with adults having integrated restrooms however i dont think it should be that way in k-12 schools.
    • That I can agree to, unless there were an appointed "bathroom monitor".

    • dudeman

      yeah the few bars i go to have integrated bathrooms so im used to it. i dont think i would have felt comfortable taking a shit around women in my teens. it was bad enough taking a shit around the guys.

  • Blonde401
    I don't think anyone read this past the title judging by the comments 👏 To you. I love this, it's 100% right. I too have used unisex bathrooms in lots of gay bars and it's never bothered me one bit.
  • WeeGeeTheSecond
    "Bathroom segregation"? REALLY?
    Seriously, why are liberals so retarded nowadays? Everything can become 'scientific' and subject to a "deeper social analysis" now, is that it?

    Here are a few nice arguments in favor of ""Bathroom Segregation"": Rape, sexual abuse, harassment, 'panty peaking', the list goes on.

    Want to have unisex bathrooms? Okay then. Don't hope to be taken seriously when complaining about abuse.
    • And again I having to type out this same response, DID YOU READ THE ARTICLE?
      Another WOMAN forced herself onto me by forcing open the door of the stall I was inside of. It was a NON-SEGREGATED UNISEX bathroom.

  • Sweet-and-Sour
    If the stalls are redesigned so its harder to peek into the stall, then maybe... But for now, I'd prefer to do my business with only other females around. I like to feel safe when dropping trou.
  • beautifulangel76
    I don't agree with all that transgender stuff. You can't change DNA so no matter what they do they are still what they were born as. It's clearly some kind of mental thing because it was normal they wouldn't have to go through hormone treatments and a lot of other things. We don't need to have bathrooms made just so they feel comfortable. A bathroom is a bathroom. It's a place where people should feel safe and comfortable and I wouldn't feel that way if just anybody could walk through the door.
  • AEther
    that's a perfect setup! my worry about unisex toilets was always the idea that a woman wouldn't be safe.(which is a scary, sad truth) but yeah, why have a door at all when you're gonna be in a cubical? an open, visible unisex 'bathroom' nullifies any transgender bathroom issue and protects against same sex rape too!
    i feel dumb not to have thought of it, just makes sense!
  • rjroy3
    From the stand point of smller stores such as small starbucks locations for example. You only go in one at a time. So it doesn't make sense to have a men's and women restroom. Just have two unisex bathrooms and you won't get a big line on one, with a bathroom going to waste. But larger restrooms that hold 3 or more, there should be separation.
  • Transigence
    I never understood bathroom segregation anyway. It's a shit-hole, not a social club.

    What gets me even more is when a place has two "one-holer" bathrooms (one toilet, sink, and a locking door) that are designated for men and women.
  • thewanderingme
    no. there's no way in hell I'd use a public restroom with men in them. I already don't like using them with other women in there. at least with other women I feel safe.
  • kisnome
    I have no problem with a unisex bathroom. I agree bathroom segregation does not prevent the likelihood of rape or harassment, with that being said if a woman forcibly tried to kiss me I would have knocked her out. I don't care if she's drunk.
    Drunks are the worst. I know how to protect myself.
  • ManOnFire
    Still not a strong argument. It will still happen even if bathrooms are integrated, and yes it is going to happen more. You're assuming that rape can't happen just because a man and a woman are both in separate stalls, and not taking into account that any guy could be waiting in a stall pretending to use it, and the moment he hears a woman come in he can easily jump out and force her into his. Or in any other way. Sexual assault will be even far more common once restrooms stop having a gender.
    • This is why most women I know support bathroom segregation. I don't blame them either.

  • WombRaider
    I wonder if gender-mixed bathrooms will do well in Sweden?

    metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/.../...e-the-pooh.gif
  • Panay
    A few of the toilets at my college are unisex, and it's never caused any problems. People mostly just don't give a shit, and that's exactly the way I think i should be-it should just not matter that sexes are being mixed, to the point where [people don't even think of it as a 'thing'
    • because unisex bathrooms usually only allow one person at a time.

    • Panay

      @thewanderingme Usually, but one of them is actually a proper bathroom

    • what do you mean?

    • Show All
  • ColinHarvey
    What if my penis is trans-there so it sometimes inverts itself, and I use the urinal room while nice it folds into a vagina and oops can't pee this is discrimination and I'm very triggered from interstellar aggression.
  • ThatGuy98
    So your personal experiences justify that 60 year old pedophiles will be able to harass and in some cases even rape children in uni-sex bathrooms? Just imagine the pervs that will be lurking inside the bathrooms waiting for their prey.

    I'm sorry but I don't believe in giving mentally ill persons special rights.
  • gotc147
    North Carolina's bathroom law allows private businesses to set their own bathroom policies, so if PayPal or Apple or Microsoft or anybody else wanted to let men into the women's room on their property they could. This fact makes most of your argument moot.

    It wasn't just bathrooms though, it was locker rooms and changing facilities, even communal showers. Are you saying you'd be fine if some strange guy walked into the shower with you? In Seattle a man walked into a women's locker room and started undressing, in Toronto several male students were caught recording women showering in gender neutral bathrooms, these are just the people who got caught recently.

    Sexual predators start just by watching, they escalate over time to full-blown sexual assault and sometimes murder, nobody in their right mind would be in favor of opening this gateway to the first step and letting men shower with women.
  • Melcart23
    Somebody who is transgender has a mental illness, so it would be wrong for us to now reshape society based on a minority who is suffering from a mental illness
  • rileypantera
    Holy fuck, thank you! Someone out there finally gets it! 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
  • Spiorad_Aisce
    Great take - I totally agree but I accept some women have genuine concerns whether you think they are justified or not that is why I support having a unisex option for transgenders and non transgenders who support them (I would use unisex option) - I think having laws and repealing laws leads to histrionic debate and doomsday scenarios that feed the campaigns for kneejerk reactions - The doomsday scenarios can go both ways, a transgender MTF who has undergone any procedure to look more like the gender she wants has to use the mens room thus running the risk of arousing unwanted interest, getting unwanted attention and risking possible sexual assault.
    My point is while I believe the unisex option is not required, it is a good compromise for those with genuine and reasonable concerns. Plus it takes away ammunition from the people predicting the nightmare outcomes of having new laws or not having new laws.
  • Psi_Unknown
    Ideally and in my opinion, closed-off, private, safe, one-person-at-a-time, bathrooms would exist. In the real-world, when you have to go...
  • Anecdotal evidence is extremely weak evidence to support an argument.
  • HappyVegan
    I like the article in the sense that it made me think, but I'm curious, where's the research to back up this statement: "Bathroom segregation does not prevent or reduce the likelihood of rape or sexual harassment"?

    I'm also not sure that "gender equality" necessarily dictates that we use the same restrooms. What's next? Gender equality in fashion? Women wearing jeans they can't fit into or men wearing jeans that are too loose around the hips?

    : )

    Still liked the article though even though I feel like there are some things left undiscussed.
  • John_Doesnt
    Exactly, rape is still illegal even if transgenders can still enter other bathrooms.
  • Rawrzz
    Well, hey. Urinals are kinda uncomfortable, but they're efficient.

    "Bathroom segregation does not protect your sense of decency, modesty, respectability, or your moral compass" I seriously beg to differ. While it might not be an good method to combat sexual assault, why would you *want* male/female public bathrooms? Seriously. Men's rooms are gross, a lot of the time. They piss all over the floor. Leave shit in the toilet from time to time. It smells horrible. It's just. If I could get a free pass to go into a female restroom, I would totally do it. I've been in a female restroom--I was pushed okay, I was pushed--it smells like flowers and is perfectly clean. Why would you honestly want to mix the two?
    • You're sadly mistaken. Female bathrooms are just as nasty.

    • Rawrzz

      Hmmm. Oh. Well. I'm ironically saddened and also happy at the same time. Still. Even if there is no motivator to keep them apart, what would be the motivation to combine them?

  • Jager66
    Perhaps we should determine for certain if trans gender is a mental illness or not before we start reshaping the world to enable them.
  • Accipiter
    Less than 1% of the population is transgender anyway
  • DJZest
    What on earth is a gender mixed restroom? If it means women may enter men's restrooms and vice versa, then that's ridiculous.
  • ElissaDido
    Eh no thanks,
    Keep them segregated.
  • sp33d
    Eve bit the forbidden fruit, toilets are sperated. The end.
  • Byakuyarko
    Just let people who aren't male use separate washrooms...
  • BambooforPanda
    Love this take
  • orphan
    i don't want bitches in my bathroom.
  • Lukapum
    Nice post
  • Careless_Whisper
    What ignorant drivel
  • skeptic007
    no equality is a bad thing
  • Anonymous
    If you're going to claim that being forced to use the restroom corresponding to the gender assigned at your birth is a form of segregation, you must admit the separating men and women's bathrooms in any way (regardless of whether the gender is biological or chosen) is segregation, and we shouldn't separate bathrooms at all for any reason ever.
  • Anonymous
    Serious people are crazy. In my country we always have 2 separate room, always. Cause it's embarrassing some people, you should respect them.
  • Anonymous
    One you can goggle that a lot of assaults on women happen in unisex bathrooms. Second, you can see through the stalls the crack in the door lol. Thirdly gender isn't real , what you identify with other than your chromosomes is a belief system , a systems you are forcing up in people. Fourthly , gender identity doesn't have anything to do without sexuality. And lastly, the document about sexual assaults on females on campus talked about transmen being assaulted and raped in male changing areas and restrooms
  • Anonymous
    I don't even like stalls. There's no privacy. I don't like other people to hear me pee or poop. I don't like to hear other people's either. Oh the good old days when each bathroom was a COMPLETELY closed area where you had privacy, and no one could peek to see the color of your panties. They put up stalls because it's cheaper. Now they want to force you to share with other gender people because it's cheaper. Gender equality? Just an excuse.
    We let transgenders alone because we felt everyone has the right to be whatever they want, whether we think it's justified or not. But if you try to get into our most private space, the bathroom, I will personally kick your ass! I left you alone, you leave me alone.
    Some places have a single bathroom in addition to the usual male/female ones so that a dad taking his daughter or a mom taking her son to the bathroom doesn't have to cross gender restrictions. It's called a "family" bathroom. Let every public place get one. We don't even have that many transgender people in one public place at the same time. Plus, the whole surgery and treatments are pretty expensive, I'm sure transgenders can afford a small bathroom fee tax at the time of surgery or registration. Then public places can receive a tax discount if they install a transgender bathroom.
    Personally I would pay to go to a private bathroom without stalls. Why should you be any different?
    Also, I won't go shopping in a store without separate public bathrooms. So, businesses, install a separate one or face losing business anyway.
  • Anonymous
    And why are people arguing over where you'd take a dump?
    • I can't even do that in a public bathroom. I don't know how anyone can...

    • I can do it in a public restroom because it feels more anonymous. But I CAN'T do it at other people's houses. Lol.

  • Anonymous
    One of the problems is that they want to get rid of urinals as women tend to see them as a waste of space, or in the case of feminists as sexist. They have even banned boys in some places from peeing standing up. No one should be telling us how we are allowed to pee.

    Women's restrooms are also way dirtier than men's restrooms. A lot of women do this hovering thing in public restrooms when they pee or crap and miss the toilet way worse than any guy ever would. Often it goes all over the toilet, floor and wall. Then as a guy you will be expected to sit down in her shit, just so you can pee instead of using the urinal. Meanwhile you have to smell those tampon trashcans in the stall.

    Likewise you will have more men and women being hurt. It will be much easier for men to take sexual advantage of women. It will also be easier for men to be falsely accused of a sex crime.

    Even in dormitories and such both men and women were safe while they were separated. As soon as they are grouped together that is when all sorts of allegations about sexual abuse starts popping up. Regardless of which gender you want to believe the fact is undeniable that people are hurt by it. That could be prevented by simply keeping them apart like any sane person would.

    Remember in the cultures where people are talking about women and men sharing bathrooms, the feminists in those countries are so insane they are actually trying to ban men from sitting in a way that doesn't crush our testicles. The feminists here are so sexist they will take this too far, and use it as an excuse to hurt and control men.
  • Anonymous
    My university dorm had originally had a men's building and a women's building. At the time i went there, they'd designated one floor in each building mixed. The bathrooms were large, shared bathrooms. It was not feasible to separate them. So our bathroom was a huge big mixed bathroom (and showers!). They got rid of the urinals - they're useful in a high traffic area like a nightclub because they speed things up, but in this case, they simply had more stalls, and the showers were also stalls.

    Given that stalls lock, what's the problem? We can wash our hands together, surely?
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