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Who Your Partner Is Cheating With

Who Your Partner Is Cheating With

It won't be news to tell you that back in the day, men used to be the biggest cheaters but nowadays, the tides have turned and women are the least loyal ones. What I'd like to talk about is: who do they cheat with?

Men:

For men it's really simple. They have sex with whoever they can. That's a little too bold of course, but what I mean is: it's not easy for a man to have sex without a commitment. Of course it is for a small percentage (the all to famous, and also hated, alpha male) it is. But most men don't just get sex thrown at them. So in most cases, they cheat because they feel so lucky that a woman is offering him sex without commitment, since he has a girlfriend or wife. So who he cheats with is pretty unspecific. If he does have a choice, the answer is even more simple: the hottest one.

Women:

Women are more complex about choosing who they cheat with. First of all, it's a lot easier for a woman to simply have sex, especially when she's good looking. One thing seems to be the biggest attraction to us though when it comes to sex: dominance. The man she would bang behind her partners back is one that she sees as more dominant than her husband. In other words, superior. The guys most women cheat with are the following:

-The husband's/boyfriend's boss. It's a stereotype but it does seem to hold a lot of truth. There are an awful lot of stories of bosses letting their employee work overtime so they can go over to the man's house and take over their role to fulfill the wife's needs. I myself have seen this situation with my parents and my dad's boss when I was young, and it wasn't just one time. Women seem to get aroused by a man who orders around their own husband, even if they love their husband and the boss is being a dick to him. When it comes to sex, dominance seems to be more important than love for many women.

-The high school bully. Believe it or not, most girls in high school loose their virginity to the type of guy that bullies others. A lot of girls have a boyfriend but are not sexually active. They often loose their virginity to someone else though, and the boyfriend won't be pleased to find out who. Mostly the relationship ends at that point anyway. Bullies tend to show more confidence and masculinity than the average, sexually unexperienced high school boy.

-The rival. This is a painful one. Many guys have a friend, who they also kind of hate. He has a lot in common but seems to be slightly better at everything. To a girl, this is kind of an upgrade to her boyfriend. He seems to be in competition with him but always comes out on top.

So these are the most common guys a girl cheats with and they al show a certain dominance to her own partner.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I disagree. I can't speak for men, and I have never cheated nor have I ever thought of cheating, but most women will cheat if in a vulnerable place and another man gives her attention her husband isn't giving her.
    Say, her man doesn't take time to appreciate the way she looks anymore. He checks out other women too much, watches too much porn, stops telling her he thinks she's hot... She feels unattractive.
    Then, another man comes along. He shows interest in her. He asks how her day is, sympathises with her when she tells him her mundane troubles her husband would usually dismiss as nagging. He tells her she looks really good, he likes her body or her hair or something. She cheats. And she does it simply because this man has made her feel good about herself.
    Men can cheat for this reason, too. But I honestly believe few wonren cheat for the reason men do, which is just simply because he saw something he wanted to have sex with and it let him.
    We women don't need that variety men do. We can stay happy having sex with one man forever as long as it always stays new and exciting, which isn't hard to do, really.
    Men can put a woman in a few different positions and be bored with her, wanting something else.

    • Well said :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Men usually don't cheat just for sex. Men cheat because a woman makes him feel important, desired and appreciated. Usually this happens when his SO is not making him feel this way- lull in the relationship, fighting or distant. This is why women are surprised to find a guy often cheats with someone who isn't as good looking as his SO. It's not her looks he's after, it's how she makes him feel. Look at Beyoncé.
    And just like @Princess Tashaaaa said women cheat because of how a man makes her feel when she is not getting that feeling at home.

    • MHO!

    • And you have hit the nail on the head! Everyone wants to feel loved, appreciated and desired. If you make your man feel this way, you have him for life!

    • I disagree. I loved my ex. Gave everything I could. Always tried to make him feel special. I did things most girls wouldn't do. The sex I gave him was never good enough. He cheated on me with another woman 20 years older than both of us (we're 22). She was thicker and more experienced. I am a small petite woman with little experience. I was both dominant and submissive with him. But none of it really mattered to him. Sometimes people cheat because they don't care about their SO it they just want a change

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • "... and also hated, alpha males"... i take offense to that lol... we are the ones that women cheat with...
    Just because we are commitment phobic sometimes doesn't mean we are wrong... we are primal. and the women like that. proven with the boyfriend's boss, high school bully And the rival.
    Anyway... altogether, good informative and true Take.

    • I didn't mean to offend. I believe the same thing as you, just most people do hate the term. As a woman, I admit that they are sexually very attractive. Very often they are assholes though... but that doesn't stop the sexual drive.

    • i believe that comment 100%... and thats why i don't understand women... deeply. love the alpha but also hate them... i think its just to keep other women away...

  • Women who feel emotionally abandoned by their mates are the ones most tempted to cheat I would assume. Once a man stops listening, he deserves what he gets.

    • This is exactly true.

    • There have been times when I have done nothing but listen to my partners and I never got sex.

    • @alfonsosloan45 Were you practicing active listening or just hearing what you wanted to hear? There's a difference.

  • Who a woman is attracted to is irrelevent, its all the bullshit that accompanies it that is the issue. Cheating for instance. If you want the dominant guy go for the dominant guy don't pretend otherwise. If you like the asshole then don't complain about wanting a nice guy. When your used up and no longer desirable to the assholes don't go running to the nice guy own your choices and live with the consequences, its really that simple. As I said it doesn't matter who your attracted to, its all the other bullshit that makes it an issue.

  • Do you have documentation for any of this was this just made a concoction of your mind? If this comes from where I think it comes from perhaps your next take should be, "if Superman is allergic to red kryptonite would elbow macaroni in red sauce result in the destruction of the galaxy?"

  • Man if guys have grown that pathetic these days that they cheat cause they feel "lucky" a woman would have sex with them, is just nuts and sad, but honestly I kinda doubt overall that would be why. Guys are more complex too, many unawarly sure, but still. I think guys in general for example, feel like love and sex can be pretty entwined. So if say they dont get what they want or need sexually in a relationship, they dont feel loved and emotionally neglected, which may lead to cheating. Cause in their own mind, they would never neglect their partner this way cause they "love" them, so they come to the conclusion they aren't loved. But are naturally many reasons and possbilities.

    If the bully somehow win the girl though, I think its mainly cause a bully is pushy, and girls, particularly at a young age is easier to mold that way and push them into situation they dont want. A bully in itself is pretty much, if not always a scared little child. Fueled by fear and run by fear. Having to try to put everyone else down cause only possible way they can feel superior in any sense, so personality wise in reality the bully dosent have any of the traits those woman want.

    • true but a good majority of bullies are also psychopaths because their inability to empathize with others makes it easier for them to degrade and humiliate other people

  • That's a lie, anonymous

  • I think its both dominance and feeling loved, needed and moat of all appreciated , many women don't feel appreciated. The man who makes her feel beautiful and the man who seems dominant. I mean he has to be a little dominant or an asshole ( give a diff false illusion of dominance ) to be willing to have an affair, I think men and women differ in the Fact that women generally don't catch feelings with whom they cheat with but it's all too common the man catches feelings with the one He cheats with, Either way cheating isn't very nice folks. And in the end I think men and women cheat because they stopped treating each other the way they did when they where dating,

  • I think women cheat when their husband doesn't give them enough attention and they don't feel desired

  • "It won't be news to tell you that back in the day, men used to be the biggest cheaters but nowadays, the tides have turned and women are the least loyal ones."

    Really? Your source?

    Do you really think women today are more enlightened and less morally rigid than their mothers and (great-) grandmothers? That their libidos are more powerful? Doubt if human nature changes that much that fast.

    Makes more sense to me to think that in days gone by women were simply and necessarily far more discrete than men. Primarily due to social pressures arising from patriarchy and men's juvenile fear of the power of women's sexuality.

    RANT ALERT
    What is it with this word 'cheaters?' Nor women nor men are property at least since slavery was abolished in the 1830's. We are ALL free to make our own sexual choices and this stupid label is seriously out of date and needs to be retired from the vocabulary of relationships. We all need to value loyalty and love more than mere fidelity. A false god if there ever was one!

  • "Believe it or not, most girls in high school loose their virginity to the type of guy that bullies others." I think we all knew about this xD As an ex-"bully", I can say, HS chicks LOVE that.

    I think you're right on this, though for men, I think you should also take into account the desirability factor, meaning, if a girl throws herself to a guy, basically saying "fuck me", if he's unfaithful, he's going to cheat. It's not always about how hot she is.
    As for women... well, I'm no women, but I've been around a LOT and I know they all love power, they love a powerful men, so that's what they go for.

  • As crazy as it might be, I do at least partially agree with the blog. It certainly seems like can be how men cheat.

    As for how women cheat, I have no idea. If it is with the husband's/boyfriend's boss, bully, or rival, that is really sucky.

  • You forgot about girls that cheat down, because they feel their partner is too distant or she feels he doesn't care. So she wants to experience those emotions and feel wanted. So when the guy who

    • Woops. Pushed the button. Here's the rest : So when the guy who makes her his world and gives her all the attention she was craving, she cheats with him. Because he's filling that emotional need. This is the most common reason for cheating. Whatever emotional need she has, if another man is providing it, then he's most likely the one she'll cheat with. If the need happens to be, having a dominant man who isn't afraid to be a man. Then yea, having a dominant man hit on her is the guy she's most likely to hookup with. If her man is dominant, but doesn't give her enough attention and she feels as if he doesn't care then the opposite is true.

  • My partner is probably cheating. I just want to know who so I can get closure.

    • closer doesn't always happen when you know the who the other person is

    • What makes you think that?

    • I hope your partner is being faithful

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  • Some of us don't want dominance. I'm happy with the guy who makes decisions equally with me.

    • very true, and actually if your man wanted to be dominant all the time, I would be worried that you may be with a man that has a personality disorder (narcissists and psychopaths crave dominance). sounds like your boyfriend is a respectful person

    • @Eric644 my mom is like that and I don't want to date someone like her

    • I am sorry to hear about that. Well hopefully you have a better relationship with your dad. Things will get better as you get older. Take care

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  • a cheater is gonna cheat regardless. No need for explanation

    • I know right! , a hoe is a hoe

  • lol this sounds about right, i follow my own principles when dating girls, if she's talking to me and other guys at the same time she's not worth it, if she seems to be attracted to a guy for the sole purpose of the way he acts or his job she's not worth it either, if she had many boyfriend... well i won't touch that, Basically if a girl shows signs of changing her mind often and not being able to stick to a choice she made about guys and always looks for someone else or more to feel staisfied, its safe to assume that she is not someone i want to be associated with, and there isn't a certain type of girl who does that, i've got to meet shy, confident, hot and cute girls who are worlds apart in terms of personality but share this behaviour ( no guy is good enough and their eyes always wander looking for a new prey ) .

    • p. s: its not as extreme as you listen it though

    • Yep man.. Females can be presatory as well.. A lot of men unfortunately dont know thes things and signs..

    • @slimstiffy I notice these things so much iam now having a problem getting sex from them lol, i feel so repulsived iam not sure i want to even approach them or try my luck.

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  • " nowadays, the tides have turned and women are the least loyal ones. "
    Is that a proven fact or your guess?

  • I see where you are coming from, and this may hold true in a lot of cases. But your mom was a bitch. Sorry but it is what it is. And your dad was kind of a bit a cuck too, im not gonna stand up for him if he won't do it himself. But not all women are like that. You can choose to be better than your mom. I hope you understand that and make the right choice.

    • why are you using a word used by white supremacists? please do not use the word cuck

    • @Eric644. Who said cuck is used by white supremacists? Its short for cuckold, which is a common noun.

    • I know the origin of the word, I am just saying that the word is NOW widely used by white nationalists and alt-righters, hence it is now a white supremacist word. Please refrain from words used by white nationalists.

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  • She's currently cheating with the janitor. But I'm with her hot mom, so it evens out.

  • Love the take. You offer a grounded and in-tune-with-reality approach :)

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