Dismantling the Great "Rape Culture" Debate

ThatJarHead

Facetious chart of Male vs Female priority**

Dismantling the Great

First! I'm male! Surprise surprise. However, I have an opinion you may find... Different.

Lets go!

Do women make false accusations about rape towards men?

Answer: Yes! Yes they do!

The percentages vary by country, state, province, county etc. However in the majority of the United States it rests at 2-8% of all accusations being false. In Canada (my country) it sits pretty at a 10% average.

Lets actually look at the definition of a false rape allegation. The definition (by law) of a false rape accusation is a man or woman points a finger at another person for rape knowing it to be false with the intention of getting that person in legal trouble or arrested and charged. So these percentages DO NOT count the people who are drugged and "think so" or the cases that are deemed "unfounded" so these numbers are screwed slightly. Next question!

Do women abuse men?

Answer: Yes! Definitely! Women can abuse men. Men can abuse women. Men can rape women. Women can rape men. Men can rape men. And women can rape women. It all happens. People think that there is more women being abused by men but studies done by Canadian Sociologists (oh Canada our home and native land, true research done in all thy Suns command) that the numbers are closer to 50-50 rather than this 99-1 people think it is.

So let's put all this to rest shall we?

Answer: YES!

Ok so let's boil this down. Women are pissy that some men are ass holes. Men are pissy because some women are turning a fair society into a war zone. Some men are sexist pigs. Some women are sexist pigs. Some men are rapists. Some women are rapists. Now let me show you some statistics.

Rape of Females

In a 2000 research article from the Home Office, in England and Wales, around 1 in 20 women (5%) said that they had been raped at some point in their life from the age of 16 beyond.

In 2011, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that "nearly 20% of all women" in the United States suffered attempted sexual assault, sexual assault (forced kissing and fondling), attempted rape, and rape sometime in their life. More than a third of the victims were raped before the age of 18.

Along the CDC's report, the US census has recorded in 2011, in the United States, .052% of US women are forcibly raped annually, nearly half of what it was years before

According to a 2013 report by the CDC, 28% of victimized heterosexual women and a full 48% of bisexual women experienced their first rape between the ages of 11 and 17.

Rape of Females by Males

Many rapes by males against females are unreported because of "fear of reprisal from the assailant" and because of "shame...and deep-seated cultural notions that the woman is somehow to blame". Researchers from the University of Surrey estimate that approximately 1 in 7 rapes by males against females are reported.

Pregnancy may result from rape. The rate varies between settings and depends particularly on the extent to which non-barrier contraceptives are being used. A study of adolescents in Ethiopia found that among those who reported being raped, 17% became pregnant after the rape, a figure which is similar to the 15–18% reported by rape crisis centres in Mexico. A longitudinal study in the United States of over 4000 women followed for 3 years found that the national rape related pregnancy rate was 5.0% per rape among victims aged 12–45 years, producing over 32,000 pregnancies nationally among women from rape each year. Experience of coerced sex at an early age reduces a woman’s ability to see her sexuality as something over which she has control.

The rape of women by men has been documented as a weapon of terror in warfare.

Rape of Females by Females

Female-on-female rape is often labeled "lesbian rape", regardless of the sexual orientation of the persons involved. Assault by forcible stimulation of female genitalia by a female perpetrator is possible by digital manipulation, oral sex, strap-ons, other dildos or other foreign objects, or tribadism. A telephone survey conducted in 2010 for the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 43.8% of lesbians reported having been raped, physically abused or stalked at some point by an intimate partner; of these, 67.4% reported the perpetrator or perpetrators as being exclusively female.

Rape of Males

A CDC study found that, in the US, 1 in 71 men had been raped or suffered an attempt within their lifetime. The same study found that approximately 1 in 21 or 4.8% men in a survey had been made to penetrate someone else, usually an intimate partner or acquaintance. A NWAV Survey found that 0.1 percent of men surveyed had been raped in the previous 12 months, compared to 0.3 percent of women. Using these statistics it was estimated that, in the US, 92,748 men had been raped in the previous year.

The rape of men has often been documented as a weapon of war.

Male sexual assault is also prevalent on college campuses. On campuses, 1 in 16 men are survivors of sexual assault. Although the rate of male sexual assault is relatively high, many do not file reports due to the misconception of sexual assault being a women’s issue due to “preconceived notions about both sexual violence and gender."

There are some cases when men will speak up about being a survivor, such as in the documentary The Hunting Ground, which is about the prevalence of sexual assault on college campuses and the failure of college administration to adequately deal with it.

Rape of Males by Males

Male-on-male rape has been heavily stigmatized. According to psychologist Dr. Sarah Crome, fewer than 1 in 10 male-male rapes are reported. As a group, male rape victims reported a lack of services and support, and legal systems are often ill-equipped to deal with this type of crime.

Several studies argue that male-male prisoner rape, as well as female-female prisoner rape, are common types of rape which go unreported even more frequently than rape in the general population. The rape of men by men has been documented as a weapon of terror in warfare. In the case of the Syrian Civil War (2011–present), the male detainees experienced sexual abuse like being forced to sit on a broken glass bottle, getting their genitals tied to a heavy bag of water, or being forced to watch the rape of another detainee by the officials.

Rape of Males by Females

Male victims of sexual abuse by females often face social, political, and legal double standards. Some cases in the United States have received increased attention and sparked awareness within the population. Sometimes referred to as "made to penetrate" cases, male rape victims are forced to engage in penetration of the female without proper consent. Many times the male victims are under the influence of drugs or being held in life-threatening positions. The case of Cierra Ross' sexual assault of a man in Chicago gained national headlines and Ross was convicted of aggravated criminal sexual abuse and armed robbery with a bail set at $75,000. A similar case includes James Landrith, who was made to penetrate a female acquaintance in a hotel room while incapacitated from drinking, along with his rapist citing the fact that she was pregnant to advise him not to struggle, as this might hurt the baby.

Some male victims, including underage children, have been forced to pay child-support to their attacker when their rapist conceives a baby as a result of the attack.

Several widely publicized cases of female-on-male statutory rape in the United States involved school teachers engaging in sexual intercourse with their underage students. Each of the 50 states has laws regarding the age of consent, but all have it set at 16, 17 or 18. These laws make any sexual encounters between adults and minors under the age of consent sexual assault.

I'll wrap this up with some stories from my psychological practice. Im not licensed. I don't legally practice. I'm free and available. People who come to me know I'm a therapist not a doctor. I can listen, provide a safe space, and provide advice. Here's the story.

Being ‘in the mood’ is not just a state of mind reserved for women. Women often complain in my therapy room: ‘He just wants sex. It has nothing to do with me. It’s like he has an itch, and he wants relief. Anyone could do it for him, I just happen to be there.’

The cliché is that men are always interested in sex. Male sexuality, we think, is in perpetual motion. Contrary to women, their desire is seen as uncomplicated, a simple biological force seeking an outlet. Men are creatures of nature and women are creatures of meaning, we say. Her desire is influenced by how she feels about herself, her self-esteem, her body image, how close and intimate she feels with her partner. In short, sex is powered by the context and not by a natural drive.

But that is a myth. We may like to think men and women are different when it comes to sexuality, but that’s because we focus more on differences than similarities. Men want sex more than women. Men are more sexually spontaneous, and biologically driven. They know what they like, and they don’t change. They initiate sex when they are already turned on. Men feel desire no matter what, whereas women depend on how they feel about their relationship.

These views are hardly ever challenged, and researchers have conspired to maintain this fiction. There are seven times more studies carried out on sexual desire in women than in men. Why? Perhaps, if we were to research the facts, we may have to do away with a historical view of men that has been used to justify their infidelity for centuries. After all, men are sexually irrepressible, it’s in their nature.

But is it? Studies on men and sex prefer to focus on sexual performance, erection difficulties or premature ejaculation. We focus on men’s performance, not their desire. The truth is, men are not always interested in sex; they too are affected by their moods, and are more or less interested in sex depending on how they feel about themselves. One of my patients explains: ‘For my wife, what matters is how she feels about her looks, her body, how she feels about the kids. For me, it’s more how competent I feel, how well I do at work, my tennis match, for example.’

Is he man enough?

For a man, performance is linked to his sense of masculinity. And feeling good about himself drives his sexual desire. David struggles with this. ‘When I am not interested in sex, it makes me feel like I am not a man. In fact, my wife wants it more than me. So I had to come up with the excuse of chronic back pain. I think that’s easier for her to accept.’ I wonder if this is meant to make it easier for his wife to accept, or if David is trying to keep his identity as a man intact? For a man, identity and self-esteem are more linked to sexuality than for a woman. This explains why he is more likely to feel ashamed when he has no desire. Another patient, Jacob, says: ‘When I feel depressed or when I’m stressed or tired, I’d rather just sleep. I worry when I have to give a presentation at work and, on those days, sex is the furthest thing from my mind.’

While Jacob confirms that mood affects desire in men no less than in women, I think it’s true that men are more likely to raise their mood with sex. They also masturbate to relax, to calm their anxiety. They use sex to put themselves to sleep. Little boys discover their penis very early and find out quickly that it feels good to touch themselves. A girl’s clitoris is tucked away inside her vagina, and it takes her much longer, sometimes years, to discover it and the pleasures it can offer. But what about his ever-ready erections, my female patients ask? An erection doesn’t necessarily mean it is accompanied by desire, and desire can be present without an erection. Physical arousal and sexual desire are not one and the same. Both men and women can have sex without desire. We consider a man’s erection as all-or-nothing; either it’s up and hard or it’s not. We ask him, do you have an erection? We don’t ask him how much. What would be more difficult? To persuade a man that his woman wants him even if she is not lubricated, or to persuade a woman that her man wants her, even though he is not erect? Fear of rejection is a major concern for men. And as they are supposed to be the initiators, that fear is with them constantly. Some of the men I meet are selfish and only want sex. But the majority want an emotional connection with their partner. They want to please her and to feel desired. Stereotypes carry truth, but that does not mean they are true. In our relationships, it’s useful to remember that.

P.S: If you learned anything or found this helpful in anyway please leave a comment and up vote the take! I'm shooting for editor and have for a while now. That would help me out a ton! Thanks!

Jarhead

Dismantling the Great "Rape Culture" Debate
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Most Helpful Guy

  • dangerDoge
    I never thought I'd see the day where someone on GAG actually cites all their sources lol. This makes it much more intellectual and credible.

    So essentially, what I gathered from the rape portion of the mytake, men and women are both raped. However, women are raped significantly more than men. That sounds about right from other statistics I've heard via my psychology of sex class.

    The statistics for this are really loose in general, however, given the subject matter. Surveys, the common way these studies are done, tend to be prone to self percetion bias and also shame from societal ideas of acceptable actions. (Granted you mentioned those in your take.)

    Nevertheless, I think the studies done and presented by you can at least give broad insight into rape and such.

    Overall, great mytake and a worthwhile read... Even if a tad long. Very fact based and wasn't interjected with too much gender bias. 👍

    On a side note, I never really thought about lesbian rape or man-on-man rape. I didn't realize lesbian rape could be so common :O
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thanks! I actually thoroughly enjoyed writing this and I learned some new things myself. I was also surprised at the frequency of same sex rape.

Most Helpful Girl

  • CrazynKinky
    I liked your post and found it interesting. The only issues that I noticed and this is just from my past research on the subject is that you pointed out most male rapes aren't reported which is very true but neglected to add that fact into the statistic on womens rape. Most rapes in general are never reported for many reasons.

    Still love it. Not trying to insult in anyway
    Is this still revelant?
    • I didn't explicitly say that women don't report being raped as much as the should but I did go over the statistics of how many rape cases are brought to the attention of the police.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • helloitsmethere
    It doesn't matter if you are a guy or a girl. Rape is RAPE. If you are a guy and you say no and you are being forced to have sex with someone... it is still rape. No means NO and there shouldn't be any double standard to that.
  • hellionthesage
    Actually data suggets false rape is at about 40%, the 2% claim is by feminist authors who sited other feminist authors but if you go back far enough you hit a point where the person who first stated it has absolutely no source for it. The 40% comes from studies that show 40% of rape accusations are recanted, its about the average police and even some lawyers who specialise in rape cases have stated are false so its probably more accurate to say about 40%(give or take obviously its hard to tell exactly what it is, the 8-10% statistics are the ones they actively are able to prove are completely false and fabricated by the woman in question, not the ones that are recanted or most likely false). www.slate.com/.../...retend_they_never_happen.html
    Yes women also rape men at about the same rates as women are raped according to the CDC: https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/
    I'm actually really glad you pointed out the differences in male female sexuality, that is that men also have flucuating desires but also tie more of their masculin identity to sex as well as using it as a mood elevator, I would absolutely agree with that.(it is funny how we just assume men are one way and refuse to actually research it to see if its true).
  • Redstang88
    But... but... but
    DAMN YOUR FACTS!!! I'M A FEMINIST! I DONT NEED FACTS
    Lets see how many of these replies you get
  • aliceinwonderland69
    I like how you collected all the relevant facts from all different aspects of this issue and put them in one place. I also appreciate how you gave your views and experience but in a calm unheated way. Thank You.
    • I never want to start controversy or an argument. I just want people to see the logical side of things instead of being at each other's throat.

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