We see a lot of these myTakes about feminism on GaG. Both in favor of and those against. While I tend to see it as an irrelevant topic, I have commented on both from time to time, yes. I guess it's important to a lot of younger people here because many are college students and exposed to it, and either like that or hate it, so they need to talk about it. And I guess I'm doing the same thing now.
I don't think everybody's a feminist…
I don't like calling someone a feminist just because they see eye to eye with feminists or agree with women on hot issues, it just seems more like a militant attitude to do that. So I just say that those are people with feministic attitudes and sympathies. Some people proudly identify as feminists, and others proudly denounce people with feminist-like attitudes as feminists, when in reality I think most people are neither for or against feminism entirely and are not hardcore followers of it. I think real feminists and the media would like you to think so, yes. Or wish we were. But it's not really the case.
I also don't think feminism is to blame for everything like a lot of people think, mostly guys, yeah. Doing this really just gives it too much credit. I do think feminism has caused destruction to an extent, but overall it has not really been that powerful. I guess that's why I feel that it's not really all that relevant of a thing. As far as trying to manipulate people's thinking with an aggressive anti-sexist militancy, feminism certainly has done a good job with that through the media and on college campus, but when it comes to actually being effective with the real issues, not so much. I tend to focus more on individual women's thoughts and behaviors, and don't see much feminism in them. There is a counter-sexist attitude in a lot of women (misandry), but that doesn't exactly equate to any feminism.
What feminism is to me vs. what feminism says it is…
In all honesty, I am not a supporter of feminism, no. I think some of it is right, but most of it is wrong. I believe in equal pay for women, and women being able to decide for their bodies and so forth, but you don't have to be a feminist to support those things.
Feminists nowadays - and people with feministic attitudes - repeatedly tell us and try to convince us that feminism is about equality for everyone. That's just a political strategy. If that's really the case then feminism shouldn't be called feminism anymore. Feminism and it's root meaning is simply the advancement of women. Not the advancement of men, women, blacks, gays and lesbians, or even native Americans for that matter. If feminism is really about equality for everyone it should be called something like Individualism or Humanitism (I don't know, throwing out ideas, lol. We can't use humanism cuz that's already taken). So for people to say that feminism is about equality for everyone really just seems like a buzz phrase everyone thinks they're supposed to say, think, or subscribe to. After all, group thinking gives us dorky, pop cult, high school and college campus concepts like "friendzone," "FWB," and "slut-shaming." It's like feminists have decided now to say that the movement is about equality for everyone because it's gotten such a bad rap for being aggressive and extremist over the years. But that's not our problem, and we are not required to accept the new-and-improved concept you put out there just because you want us all to see it the way you want us to. It's kind of like one of the KKK groups comedian W. Kamau Bell met with in his new CNN series United Shades of America. The white supremacist group he met with way out in the boondocks in Arkansas tried to educate him on how they no longer call burning crosses 'cross burning' but now 'cross lighting,' but is still the same thing.
So for me, other than what the real meaning of the word feminism means, feminism isn't much. And to be honest, if you're going to be a feminist then just be honest and promote exactly what it's about: advancement and equality for women. And if you're going to be ashamed of it then just don't be it altogether.
Feminism doesn’t achieve much…
As I mentioned earlier, if it’s manipulating the way we think and look at situations in a gender view - and even nowadays trying to teach us that gender roles are just “social engineering” or “social constructs,” feminism does a good job of that through the media, but otherwise it accomplishes little or nothing in the bigger areas. If it’s really done so much then women would have equal pay now, more women would be in government positions to the point of having a strong voice for women, abortion would no longer be an issue, and sexual assault and domestic violence against women might even be lower. As far as I’m concerned the only things feminism has really been able to do is get women the right to vote, allow abortion here and there, cry about gay/lesbian rights, and put a number of women through college so they can advance to careers.
Yet it’s funny. Any time women make significant strides through the years, women and feminists enjoy taking credit for it as their power of women in numbers, but then when they haven’t achieved a certain goal, it then becomes the fault of “male dominated” government or “patriarchal” barriers. Or couldn’t you argue that women didn’t work hard enough or come together enough? It’s also been said that women have been the ones to influence men through the ages, and if that’s really true then it would actually mean that women are to blame for their own oppression, and racism, war, destruction, genocide, economic collapse, etc. Feminism pretty much does teach that anything negative that’s happened throughout our world’s history is the fault of dominant men, and anything good that women were apart of is because of women.
Feminism also is not looking at the true fact that the vast majority of women do still prefer our world to be “male dominated,” even subconciously. That’s neither good or bad, right or wrong. It’s just the way the world works. Feminism and people with feministic sentiments blame men for a lack of change, but their own gender is a part of what they feel is a lack of change. At the end of the day most women are still going to vote for male politicians over women ones. Most women still expect men to be in positions of authority. They still want their sons to grow up to be good, decent, strong men. They still prefer male doctors over women ones. They still prefer male presidents over women ones. And many do prefer male friends because they feel like we’re better to be around and don’t carry drama everywhere. And the harsh truth of it is that none of this is really going to change, and doesn’t necessarily have to or should. It’s just that feminists and women are fine with it up until something doesn’t suit them anymore.
The same thing even applies to race (and I’m black). A lot of us black people are fine with white people running things up until something is done that we don’t like. And neither black people or women are necessarily wrong for getting to that point, but we also do have to make up our minds about what it is we want.
The women that feminism has produced....
I will say that thanks to feminism, we have a lot of modern women who do have superior attitudes and disparaging thought-processes towards males, yeah. And we have plenty of women who went to college, have careers, and make their own money and proud of it, yet have nothing to offer in life or to men. Some women will say, “Why does it have to be a bad thing? Why does it have to be about men?” It doesn’t, except that these same women humorously want something in/from men - a.k.a. the much-talked about “high expectations” and “standards” - yet can offer little or nothing in return. They are empty on the inside, still don’t know what it is they want in life - or even sometimes want too much in life, are deep down insecure about being a woman and see being a woman as weakness, tune out anything they feel is threatening to their female-egoist tendencies, are unromantic despite how much they say they love or want romance, have no manners, are selfish, weren’t taught how to be a woman or a good mother, and really have no love for anybody but themselves - or even too much love for themselves.
I know, I know: “not ALL” women are like this - and you’d be right, but it’s still a pretty big number of those who are in these times, and we can give the tired comebacks about modern men being the same way, but we’ve already talked about that a lot. We’re talking about women. And I know there are plenty of men out there who are just fine being in relationships with women like this, but they’re probably the ones who don’t have much to offer either.
Where I stand as a man...
I am what is said to be a “dominant man.” I believe in normal, “traditional” gender roles. Man leads household, man takes care of family, man protects woman. I’m not interested in women with careers who make shitloads of money, nor am I impressed by their college education or credentials like they think I should be. I’m more concerned about what kind of woman she is or can be. I’m more concerned about what her values are and character is as a person. I’m more concerned about how she treats other people, what her views are on life, what depth is in her brain. I’m more concerned about her understanding of family and what it means to be a wife and mother. I also don’t have a problem with paying for dates unlike a lot of these guys on GaG complaining about that (although one guy did make a good point about a woman occassionaly treating a guy, yeah). I definitely do like being in charge in bed unless it’s certain sex acts like blowjobs that I consider dominant on the woman’s part. And I don’t mind being with a woman who just wants to be a “housewife” either.
And I really do not apologize for it. And although you have plenty of men out there who are fine with being the “equal” or even subservient partner and content with a “strong woman,” I’m gonna tell you right now that the majority of men in this country and the rest of the world are still “dominant” types. Feminists and women with feministic values can try to devalue and denounce us as much as they need to - we’re “intimidated” by strong women, can’t handle them, are “stuck back in the ‘50s” and so forth - but it’s not really going to change or make us wrong just because you say so. Sure, most men believe it’s the right thing to do to give a woman equal pay and let her have a say in the same matters we do, but at the end of the day that doesn’t equate to men being feminists. It’s just common sense. Most of us still believe in taking charge. It’s really only a lot of these guys on GaG and other Gen Y males in these times who are intimidated by what they need to do as males and would disagree with me, and that’s fine.
Feminists think they can target and shoot down every aspect of gender roles as much as they can to get it to change but it won’t. Just because you grew up doing things guys did and preferred video games, guns, or action figures and movies, didn’t care much for being a traditional female, didn’t mind having sex “like guys,” and didn’t mind paying for your date, doesn’t mean it’s wrong for a woman to still prefer holding onto feminine values. It doesn’t make it a “social construct” or oppression for other women. It just means you don’t like those values.
Women who don’t support feminism…
But it’s not just men. It’s also women who don’t support feminism and get hated for it, probably even more than men who don’t. They have a right to think and believe what they feel just like feminists and feministic women do. A girl here made a good point when she noted that feminism teaches rights and equality yet destroys its own argument by crucifying women who beg to differ. If women don’t agree with feminism, then they’re wrong and part of the oppression of women. Feminists refuse to see them as just having a different opinion. So I don’t blame women who are anti-feminist. I’ve even had some here tell me in private messages how they don’t say what they really think for fear of being hated by other women. Some do, posting anonymously, but others have still expressed that even in that they just can’t deal with taking mass hate just for disagreeing with feminists or their own gender.
The women who don’t support feminism simply don’t want to be in a group, and feel that it’s unnecessary in order to advocate support and advancement for women. And I myself am the same way vice versa with the whole “Men’s Rights” thing and even that MGTOW stuff. I don’t need to declare allegiance with an official group just to be in favor of fair treatment for men.
So that’s it…
So now that I’ve written about feminism, I don’t think I’m likely to write about it again, lol. It actually is long and tiring, but this was an occasion where I did feel like I had something I wanted to say about it. Like I tell some people here about me writing Takes: when I have something to say, I’ll let you know. Some of you will see where I’m coming from, and others will be giving their usual opposing arguments. The guys who oppose will just try to tell me how feminism helps men too. And the females who oppose will have others coming to vote up their comments just to support each other. It’s not gonna make a girl right just because you vote her up 5, 10, or 15 times, it’s just because you’re disagreeing with a guy and want him to be wrong. Either way, I will still read each and every comment.