I'm A Guy... And I Don't Think Lesbians Are Hot

It's the big deal in these times for a lot of guys to think lesbians having sex is hot, but it really does not do anything for me, no. Neither do bi girls either. Don't get me wrong, I've known some lesbians and even if I don't agree with them I still don't care about what they do, and I don't hate them. But it's not sexy to me to see two women kissing or having sex, nor does it impress me that a woman could show she can have sexual feelings toward her own gender either.

I'm A Guy... And I Don't Think Lesbians Are Hot

I think my gripe is mostly with bi's and straight women who like to flirt with lesbianism. True lesbians do what they do and don't try to make an example of it or try to depict their sexuality as sexy for the most part. In fact a lot of true lesbians keep their sex lives private and personal. To me a lot of the bi and lesbianism of these times is mostly trendiness. Female homosexuality is depicted as sexy, especially since a lot of guys think so, and porn is overflowing with it, so it's like a lot of women are going with that.

Women are said to be "more sexually flexible"...

I remember reading some studies last year that said that the reason so many women are gay and bi nowadays is because women are more sexually flexible than men, and even noted how the majority of 'pansexuals' (people who basically have no racial or gender preference in who they fuck) and people with other types of diverse sexualities are women. I think that idea is really just meant to glamorize lesbianism and bisexuality, encourage it, and make women seem more sexually superior to men - if not to also encourage it to satisfy guys who like it. It's funny though. Guys who sleep with many, many people and have no hangups about their sex lives and sexcapades are often joked as "fucking anything that moves," yet women are the ones fucking anything that moves and we're all just calling it being "more sexually flexible." Just because a woman will have sex with anybody regardless of who or what they are doesn't spell flexibility to me, nor is it impressive, noble, or significantly sexually intelligent either. And if women really are like this, that would actually mean they're more sexually focused and driven than men. Society's contradictory thought-processes can be both amazing and appalling at the same time.

It's also been researched that among women who watch porn, lesbian porn is the No.1 search for both gay and straight women. There was also one study done where a number of men and women watched both gay and lesbian porn, and both the men and women thought the lesbian porn was way hotter than watching two guys go at it. Women have been taught so much that their gender is sexier to the point where they can watch themselves fucking each other and finding it hot.

I'm A Guy... And I Don't Think Lesbians Are Hot

A lot of straight women do say they feel their own gender is sexier than the male. There's a thought process in many where they can look at their own gender and feel that it’s more appealing. Some women have been angered by me noting this, yet often prove my point when they themselves say they think women are sexier because of their curvy figures in comparison to the straighter, harder figure of the male, basically with the idea, “Yeah, I can see how guys think we’re sexy.” What's also odd to me is that it's just fine for women to see the physical appeal in their own gender - and can even be vocal about it, but feel it would be “shallow” or only being focused on looks to see it in men, and would much rather see sexiness in their female gender than to see it in guys. Basically women are fine being "visual" with each other, but to be visual with men - or admitting it anyway - is what they see as showing weakness for them as women. It really just seems to come down to that egotistical issue: women like being seen as sexy or sexier than men, and like entertaining it by even declaring a sex appeal that they themselves see in their own gender. So they like entertaining the supposed science of women being more sexually flexible because it implies an ability or quality that would be superior to men. They're not really more flexible and don’t really desire women more, they just like the image that the idea gives them.

Insecurity...

But to be honest, I think the root of bisexuality and lesbianism is insecurity in most of those women. And a lot of women have turned to it out of frustration with guys or because they're not getting good sex from them, so instead of trying to work with men and learn to understand them as their opposite, women would rather just turn to other women because "women understand each other better." Some women have tried to tell me gay guys are the same way, but I really don't think so. Sure, you may have some like that, but the vast majority of gay men tend to be sincere about it, feeling like that's really who they are. I have only ever once in my life heard about a guy turning gay out of frustration with women. It is far more common for a woman to do that than a man I think. Some people even use the excuse that women who turned gay did so because of past sexual abuse. Maybe for some, but using a history of sexual abuse to explain away everybody's present behaviors and choices is just too much of an easy way out.

It seems to be that straight women who have sex with other women yet claim to still be straight is that they simply don't have the courage to be a woman with a man, or are too proud to be. I’ve talked to a lot of women like this online and that's basically what it boils down to, at least from my experience. I remember talking to one about it for days on Experience Project who pretty much admitted that was her case, and she felt "inspired" by me to take a second look and re-think her attitude toward guys. They don't know how to woman up and communicate with men or even try to learn about men, so they’d rather just get frustrated and blame the guy’s performance in bed. Women like this aren't up to the challenge. They’re too proud to face differences and too proud to try to work with a man in the way they want him to do for them, so their pride tells them they'd rather just get satisfaction from other women because “women understand each other better” before they will humble themselves and have to do some work with men.

I'm A Guy... And I Don't Think Lesbians Are Hot

So, no. I don't find anything sexy about a woman who does or would sleep with other women. None of it says to me that there is anything impressive or intimately profound about a woman who will have sex with all kinds of people. It says that she allows herself to be used by them in a blind notion that she’s more flexible, when she's really just doing them a favor more than she’s doing for herself. In the new age scientific communities, men are said to be more close-minded and singular for not having this “flexibility” that women have, and I laugh at that. We straight men don’t want or need to be able to screw just about anybody regardless of their gender. Men want women and have sex with them because that's what we like, want, and are attracted to. We don't feel that we need or want more than that, and I will unapologetically say that we are often more secure in our sexuality and desires and know what we want, and are satisfied with that. Women being “more open” to sleeping with other women ultimately seems like a lame excuse for a woman’s lack of understanding sex or even understanding her own self, not understanding it more in some sexually profound ability.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't much care for lesbian porn, but, I can totally understand why a straight woman might watch it.

    Specifically... in straight porn, let's just say, not much attention typically gets paid to the woman's pleasure. She's basically just a sex toy for the guys.

    I'm willing to bet that MOST of the women who watch "lesbian" porn REALLY just want to watch "porn where women actually get off".

    • @redeyemindtricks And yet there is actually porn made FOR women and BY women that are supposed to focus on how a woman would enjoy sex... yet it's the stuff meant for men that most women watch who are into porn.

    • Well, I don't know the scale of those bars... but, the "For Women" bar is about 1/2 the length of the "Lesbian" bar -- and there's no way there's anywhere *near* 1/2 as much "for women" porn out there as lesbian porn.
      So, ratio-wise, women ARE watching a lot more of the "for women" porn.

      Still, though, we're a hard audience to pin down.
      A lot of us don't really like traditional stills and videos at all, so, we won't factor into that bar graph.
      Me personally, I tend to like GIF's and stories -- and I'm not alone:
      www.bustle.com/.../104147-why-young-women-are-turning-to-tumblr-for-porn-because-gifs-can-be-sexy-too

      Dunno if they've really figured a way to monetize the whole GIF/tumblr porn craze yet. I'm sure they will eventually.

    • @redeyemindtricks I guess you're a little dense. I'm saying that of alllllll the porn made, most women who watch porn are still watching the stuff that guys watch, and liking it too. Much more than they watch the stuff the women porn makers make for women. That pretty much settles it. Especially when more and more women watch porn in these times and are even thinking the stuff the girls do in the movies is hot. Porn gifs are goofy for the most part. I've looked at some of it myself on Tumblr and it's really very silly. I also don't think men are into those gifs any less than women are. Your Bustle study is really just focusing on women who watch them, not men. It doesn't imply that women are into them more than anyone else, it just talks about why women like them.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It's refreshing to see a guy think like this , all I ever see are men getting overly excited when they see two women together. It's like the hottest thing on Earth.
    I know my brother feels this way, I heard him say , "What's so hot about seeing two women who don't want you?"

    • Ikr? THANK you. He's smart too.

    • EXACTLY. It's a huge turnoff, and incites jealously. My chances of getting a hot guy is scare enough, so if they're gay, it basically symbolizes NO CHANCE. It's a subconscious thought process.

  • I don't think lesbians are "hot" either, but my or my did that rant never end or what, so many words. I didn't make it all the way through. Sorry.

    • Lol. This is actually one of my shorter Takes. Most of men tend to have some length to them, so this felt like a walk in the park for me, lol.

    • *THEM tend to have some length. (fucking typo, I hate that)

  • I don't either...

  • I'm a girl and I don't think lesbians are hot either. . . when they are in your face and try to hit on you. I'm not a homophobic, I usually don't have a problem with them as long as they don't do what I've just mentioned above.

  • I dont think it's hot either. And there isn't anything worst that seeing to legit "hot" girls going at it, like that should be me or some other man fucking that broad, not another woman >_<

  • Lmao this was hilarious, I'm a bisexual and I don't care in the slightest about what you are or aren't attracted to.
    xo

    • @Jxpxtxr If you didn't care you wouldn't have commented.

    • Nah, I just wanted to tell you that I found it hilarious ;)

    • @Jxpxtxr So humor to cover being butthurt... Not uncommon, no.

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  • I disagree - Girl on girl is awesome to me!

  • Being gay is natural, man."Women understand each other better."? Pfft lol nope. Maybe if they're best friends but normally they see eachothers as rivals. I never saw other girls as rivals and just wanted the girls close to me to feel comfy and happy. A. k. a. GAY ( ๑ ᴖ ᴈ ᴖ) ᴖ ᴑ ᴖ๑)<3 Kawaī~

    • Also I'm pretty sure that sexy lesbian couples are just another stupid stereotype. People probably get their 'informations' from yuri anime and fake porn actresses. And no darn idea why so many women search for lesbian porn. Maybe out of curiosity ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? But if those bi-curious women don't understand the emotional factors of those relationships, then watching all that graphic footage of women exchanging physical contact won't be enough for them to achieve complete GAY~NESS

  • o. k. a lot of girls like lesbian porn because of the eroticism of it. Its more passionate, chicks eat the kitty better too. Its not like she is looking the girl and turned on by her. Its really whats being done and lacks in hetero porn which by the ways sucks. but yea, interesting that a man doesn like lesbian porn , interesting. And let me just point out b*tches are watching hentai. .. lol and big dicks and rough sex lol. And women aren't freaks? lol But might i point out a lot gay porn actors are " straight" men.

    • @somebodysaycheese Then you must not have read the whole thing to the end. Any woman who thinks another woman eating pussy is better or sexier has no courage and security with doing it with men. Also, the vast majority of women who watch porn watch the stuff made for men, and find it hot.

    • Sorry to break it to ya, I've seen lesbian porn and they do do it better. And your not understanding they aren't even looking at the female but the act, the way women are enjoying themselves, Hetero porn is fake , the women's pleasure is too fake. Porn for womwn made by women is good BUT their isn't a lot of variety or even a lot of videos that are featured on porn sites that are free. Might I add gay porn was something men watch.

    • @somebodysaycheese Seeing a woman eat pussy better in a porno doesn't really equate to much. Hell, seeing a woman deepthroating like a queen in porn is better to me than the way most women give head, and most are really just mediocre at it, but that's the reality of it. So if women are watching other women enjoying themselves, it's not much different from men watching women in porn making the man enjoy himself. Whether it's fake or not, most women into porn are still watching it. Gay men watch gay porn, but not straight men. And either way, the porn aspect is the least of it. The point of this Take is highlighting the insecurity in women to turn gay because they don't have courage and can't handle relationships with men. Men are not turning gay for those reasons.

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  • This whole bi or lesbian glorification was invented by Hollywood.
    The reality is that there are more gay, trans, crossdresser, pedophile (no offense just making a point here), etc. male than female.
    It must be homophobia talking.

    • @Deft_maiden Is it that there are more males of these types than females? Or the male ones are just all people ever learn and hear about? Women's behavior, whether it's sexual, flawed, or inappropriate, often goes far more unnoticed than men's.

    • Yes there are far more males engaging in such behaviors than females.

    • @Deft_maiden I don't think it is. I think most of those behaviors that women also do are about the same, just less noticed. I still do believe that women turn gay out of dissatisfaction or frustration with men far more than any man doing it for the same reason.

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  • Wayyyy too much generalisation here. No, we don't fuck just anything, we do have our own tastes, duh. I, for one, am never going to fuck an old hairy guy or an old wrinkly lady or even a dark-skinned Asian girl. Not racist, just not my taste. I like pale-skinned or glowy dark-skinned girls, and I like strong-looking guys who are not old enough to be my dad, thank you. You just sound bitter.

    • Being bitter would have to imply some kind of jealousy I would think. Which is faaaaar from it.

    • Just saying, that's how you sound like in this take.

    • I think that's just the way you'd prefer to write me off so you can feel better about it. Easier to find fault with the messanger than to acknowledge the message.

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  • I don't really think it's hot either. I think it's one of those myths that gets perpetuated by the same magazines and media sources that suggest things like eating a doughnut off my dick will drive me wild for some reason...

    • Dude, I wish we could give Best Opinions on Takes, cuz you would get it.

  • Some basic math. Population of the world, 7,400,000,000. Adults 75%, or about 5,550,000,0000. Roughly half women, or 2,775,000,000. Of these let's say 5% gay: 138,750,000. For the sake of argument, about the same number of bi-sexual or bi-curious women.

    Conservatively, you are making sweeping generalisations concerning a diverse group of well over 200,000,000 (that is > 200 million) women, each with her own sexuality, emotional make up, fears, insecurities, joys, loves, lovers, disappointments, triumphs et cetera et cetera.

    Sorry to say this, but I don't think any of us is that smart. Nature loves diversity genetically, sexually, and hundreds if not thousands of other ways. A binary universe simplistic enough to be so easily defined by such unfounded, sweeping generalisations does not, has not, and will never exist.

  • As a man, it doesn't turn me on either. It doesn't make a woman hotter, its not the hottest thing on earth and it doesn't excite me more either.
    However when it comes to porn, male and female sex is so fake and horrible. Porn doesn't portray sex for what it truly is, men are just banging women like robots, porn doesn't show passion, doesn't show what turns them on, nothing.

  • cool

  • You don't seem to find anything but white women hot huh?

    • Older women, white chicks, Latinas, and plus size women. I know you were being a smart ass but, yeah, those are my top preferences.

    • Good to know. Or not. You know, since I'm black.

    • I do know, yes. It really bothers you when black men aren't into y'all, doesn't it?

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  • Never took the thought process that deep. But I agree lol. I don't find two women together hot, but I do enjoy hot girls doing their thing. It's just not enough to be a turn on, because I'd rather be included

  • I agree that insecurity is the cause for a lot of these behaviors in a lot of these people (not all).

  • While I don't agree with the idea that we're turning to bisexuality and lesbianism (is that a word?) because we're fed up with guys, I do agree, why do people oversexualize us? You don't do that with gay and bisexual guys, why us

    By the way, I do think one of the reasons "lesbian" is the first porn search for women may be in part to the fact that gay/bi women tend to look at more porn, in my experience

    • It's pretty common for women to turn gay because of a frustration with men, yeah. But I do agree that society oversexualizes women quite a lot. And yeah, I do think gay and bi women probably do watch more porn.

    • No it's not. One cannot turn gay, if anyone tells you they've turned gay, just tell them "then you were never straight" because no one who is straight can turn gay

    • Smart girl.

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  • I dont watch lesbian porn. For me when I'm watching porn its to jerk off. and I fantasize that i'm the guy in the porn. So the only "lesbian" porn I watch is a 3some with bi girls. thats hot.

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