Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Girls have often asked me how to give the perfect blow-job (BJ). Therefore I have decided to share my thoughts on the subject. Do note that there is no universal guide to a perfect BJ as men like different things. So the purpose of this guide is to give you some ideas which you can use in the future.
Though this may sound like my experiences and thought alone, this guide is based on what I've learned both through my own experience and by talking to other men (and some women) about sex.
Before I get to the actual blow-job details, I would like to make one things very clear:
When giving a BJ the giving one is in control!
This means that should the receiving part do something you dislike, you are not obliged to let them.
However, should the receiver in any way indicate that what you are doing is uncomfortable, you should listen.
Starting Out
If you have watched porn, you may have noticed that the girl quickly gets on her knees and starts sucking at full speed. That can be fine for a quick BJ with the sole purpose of satisfying the receiving one. But in my opinion, a perfect BJ should start slow and increase and vary in pace. The main trick is to build tension.
There are of course different ways to initiate the act, but I will start with the receiver fully dressed.
Whether you want the receiver to stand, sit or lie down is up to you.
Start by kissing him on the mouth and move on to kissing and biting the lips, ears and neck. This sets the mood. Then remove the clothes from the upper body. This doesn't have to take long as wrestling with an annoying T-shirt can kill the mood (depending on the guy).
Now you're ready to move south. Start at the mouth again, kissing, biting, licking your way from his mouth down his chest to the belly. Another thing you can do while moving down his body is breathing on him. This is something often found in tantric practices, where you moisten a part of the body (kiss / lick) and then blow a breath of air on the moist spot. He may or may not like this.
Once you reach the belly, stay just above the trouser-line for a moment before you start undoing his trousers. A cruel, yet great, move is to undo his trousers and then kiss and touch his thighs, hips and crotch with his trousers still on. I believe this is about equal to a man touching just around the vagina.
When you feel he's had enough of the "torture", go ahead and remove his trousers and underwear. To keep the tension going, move slowly and keep kissing/biting/licking/breathing. You don't have to take his trousers off, just pull them down (once again we have a potential mood-killer).
Next up is his underwear; the last barrier between you and his member. Men love to be praised and admired, so here is your chance to make him feel good about himself. You can tell him, that he smells good, and get really close to him as you pull down the pants. Also, you could tell him how great his penis looks and how big it is... You know... All the things men love to hear.
If you want him to go crazy, you can forbid him to touch you. Either by keeping him off you or by using restrains (yes, I said it; tie him up).
The Action
Finally! He's (semi)undressed, and his penis is standing there awaiting your next move. If he is standing, you can let him stay that way or allow him to sit / lie down.
Pros and cons of sitting / lying down:
- If he's about to reach climax already (this means you done a good job creating tension), sitting allows
him to relax the muscles in a large part of his body, which might help him not come right away.
- If you allow him to sit, you will have less places to touch him, and his balls will be harder to reach.
Remember that this guide is just a guideline. Though I try to describe what to do, you don't have to do the exact same things.
To show the man that you haven't forgotten about the part of this that includes your mouth, give him a kiss or two on the tip of his penis.
A good way to start the BJ is by giving a hand-job. I will post a hand-job guide some time, too. But for now just do your best with your hands.
The Actual Blow-job
What he has been waiting for.
Kissing and licking the tip and shaft is a great way to start. This covers his penis in saliva making it more slippery. Trust me when I say that neither you nor he will enjoy an dry BJ; your lips can't slide easily back and forth. You can also bite (gently!) the skin of his shaft. Be aware of his signals, as he may not like it. The same applies to spitting on his member. You can try dropping a bit of saliva on his penis to see his reaction first. Some men find it hot when you spit on them... Others think of it as demeaning and dislike it.
Once his member is wet and you are ready to take him inside, you just begin. In the following I will describe different techniques you can apply to you BJ, but I will not tell you the order in which to do them.
I won't describe sucking... I believe you can figure that one out ;)
Vacuum
Create a vacuum in your mouth as you would to suck liquid through a drinking straw. This brings his penis in contact with your cheeks making him feel even better. You can vary the vacuum to alter his experience.
Some men claim that this also works like a penis pump, making their member bigger for a while. I can't say whether this is true or not, but I definitely doesn't hurt if he feels bigger.
Tongue
Your tongue is a powerful BJ tool. You can lick his shaft and head with or without your mouth around the penis. Licking the area just below the glans (penis head) feels great. This is one of the (if not the) most sensitive area on the penis.
Another tongue-technique is to run your tongue around the penis while having him inside.
Finally, you can push you tongue gently against the lower part of the penis and move it from side to side or back and forth (or both) while sucking him.
Hands
Your hands add a lot to the experience. Caress his thighs, buttocks, hips, belly, chest.
While sucking, put your hand(s) around his member and move them in the same direction as you head. This way you can move fast without risking an accidental deep-throat.
FUNNY TIP: Look closely at his scrotum and run your fingers lightly up his inner thigh. A reflex causes the muscle in the scrotum to contract, raising the sack. Try not to laugh too much though... We wouldn't want him to feel bad, would we?
Vibrations
Making sounds is not just to break the silence. Humming or moaning with the penis inside your mouth will send the vibrations from your larynx to the penis. Making sexy sounds is also a turn on for the man.
Deep Throat
I've been told that this takes practise, and since I've never done it (only received) I encourage you to look for guides written by women.
What I have been told, however, is that it's a good idea to drink a cup of tea or some other hot beverage if you know, you're going to do deep-throating, as the heat will relax the muscles in you pharynx. Another good idea is to suck the man and get a little deeper with every forward move.
Alternately, you can move forward very slowly getting as deep as you can without throwing up, then holding it there for a second or two (this is advise I've got from women).
The Base of his Penis
An often neglected part of the penis is the base / root (where it is attached to the rest of the man). This area is (in my experience) not particularly sensitive, but licking and kissing this area with a bit of extra force (due to the lower sensitivity) can yield a quite special sensation for some men.
So explore the base all the way around.
His Balls
Some men like to get their scrotum touched, others don't... Just try.
The testicles are sensitive, which is both good and bad. Having them touched can bring a man over the edge, but squeeze them a little too hard, and you'll understand the expression "grabbing someone by the balls".
It's really quite simple to handle a man's scrotum: Cup your hand ever so gently around it and move your fingers as with those Asian anti-stress balls.
If he likes it, you can try pulling them. Again: Handle with care! Close your hand around the testicles and pull until you feel a slight resistance. Either let go of them of let them slip though your fingers.
If you are even more frisky, you can lick them or put one or both in your mouth. The vacuum and vibrations techniques work well when you have his ball(s) in your mouth.
His Anus
Careful here. I would not recommend going here the first time and maybe not the second time you give a man a BJ. Many men consider anal play homosexual and will not go there. If this is the case, you could argue that it is only fair to let you put something in his butt, if he wishes to put anything in your butt (am I right?).
Some men enjoy it when you play with their anus, others don't get anything, and some dislike it.
Try asking him first.
As for anal sex, you should use plenty of lubricant. Even if you're not going in, it feels better when it's wet.
You can run a finger around the anus and / or stick it in. Start with only the tip of a finger (the outermost part of the anus is the most sensitive. If you go deeper, you should seek out the prostate gland, which can be found approximately 5 cm up, in the direction of his belly. Try rubbing the area and see, if he likes it.
Your Body
Now, why should he have all the pleasure? I encourage you to touch yourself during the BJ. Your pleasure should not be neglected, and he will enjoy watching you help yourself. If you want to, you can change position to the 69 and let him help you.
Adding a vibrator is another possibility. You can get wireless, remote-controlled vibrator, that give him a chance to join the fun (you can find some great sex toys at LELO's homepage for instance).
What's Next?
That's up to you. I can't tell you everything, now can I? *wink*
You can move on to having sex in other position or let him come. If you let him reach his climax, you should tell him where you what him to do it (unless you want him to decide). Tell him something like: "I want you [synonym for sperm] all over me". This way you can (hopefully) avoid him releasing it somewhere you don't want.
Many men become extremely sensitive after reaching orgasm. This means that you should be very gently right after.
If your man is one who becomes sensitive, and you want to continue once he calms down, do not remove yourself from him. It will only make it harder for him to start again, if you let go of his member.
So go and have some fun.
Feel free to comment and ask questions.
What Girls & Guys Said
2 1The key to oral sex is healthy penis skin. Trust me.. all people involved will enjoy the activity a lot more if a.) they aren't grossed out or b.) worry that the person giving oral sex is grossed out. This is why using one of those penis health cremes is so important. A good one will contain both antibacterial and moisturizing vitamins and nutrients that will keep things extra clean, smooth and irritation-free. Keep this in mind ladies and gents.
Well explained
thanks so much! Really helpful!!
I'm glad you like it :)