The Fatal Dangers of Masturbation (Self-Abuse and Yes, Satire)

Neither plague, nor war, nor smallpox, nor a crowd of similar evils, have resulted more disastrously for humanity than the habit of masturbation: it is the destroying element of civilized society.

The loathsome practice of masturbation is steadily upon the increase...

A vast army of masturbators are annually swept into their graves.

The Fatal Dangers of Masturbation (Self-Abuse and Yes, Satire)
The Fatal Dangers of Masturbation (Self-Abuse and Yes, Satire)

The Fatal Dangers of Masturbation (Self-Abuse and Yes, Satire)

We meet them in every rank of society, their pale and pinched faces giving notice of their
disgusting practices, just as certainly as a striped pole gives notice of a barber-shop.

How can you spot one?

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The Symptoms of a Masturbator

============================================

The poor victims suffer with headaches, are wakeful and restless during the
night, nervous, irritable, indolent, forgetful,
given to melancholy and hypochondria, and suffering with
pain in various parts of the body. The appetite is variable,

they lack confidence in their own abilities, are subject to
great mental despondency, weakness of the back and reproductive
organs, a gradual wasting away of the flesh, and if a
female, hysteria.


Cowardice is a marked symptom of this disgusting practice.
The masturbator lacks physical strength...and is
powerless to face great danger of any kind. Indeed the poor
wretch lacks the courage to look a person full in the face.


When the filthy habit has been continued for a series of years,
the system will be feverish, with sudden flashes of heat over
the face. The eyes have a sheepish, wavering, hesitating
look ; the countenance pale and gloomy, with an expression.
of distrust ; dark spots or semicircles beneath the eyes ;

pulse irregular, and from the constant
waste of nervous matter the hair dry and brash.

General debility and emaciation ensue, continuing with an
accelerating ratio. Then shortness of breath, and severe
palpitation of the heart on taking even slight exercise, or experiencing
a sudden emotion of joy or grief. The head
suffers constant pain, especially in the cerebellum. The various
organs fail in the performance of their functions, especially
the eyes and generative organs of the male, which
greatly diminish in size, losing their muscular power, incapable
of excitement without resorting to extraordinary means,
and in thousands of cases an entire loss of virile power. The
skin suffers from eruptions, attended with great spinal irritation.


To unrefreshing sleep are added licentious dreams by
night and lustful thoughts by day. Then follow cough, dispepsia,
night-sweats, costiveness and pains in the chest and
loins.

The poor wretch is slowly wasting away, a curse to
himself and a horror to his friends, until death kindly closes
the scene.

Are you currently a victim of self-abuse? Read here: https://www.girlsaskguys.com/sexual-behavior/a25225-do-you-want-to-end-masturbation-you-can-beat-it-with-christ

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hilarious article but I'm all support for masturbation. Given I'm single and celibate. I do get horny and desire sex but due to my traditional values on waiting for sex until I'm married. Masturbation compensates for my lack of sex life.

    Hoover the danger of it is become self indulge to the point it hinders potential relationships and other normal activities, which masturbation is not to, blame but the individual use of the habit as a substitute for normal functions.

    On a whole I love doing it. It's healthy and we should not be afraid to admit or, shy away from such topic.

    • Masturbation is NOT ok even if it is done in moderation! The pleasure is a ploy from The Devil to keep you in a downward spiral into even more and many sins! Potential side effects are gay, sphilis, and the bad AIDS!

    • I disagree. Masturbation is the mere process by which on stimulate his gentials for sexual release and nothing more. The thoughts behind of the process is what is bad and must be kept in check. The attachement of pornorgraphy to masturbation is evil but masturbation on its own is not a sin. Though it's is very hard to masturbate without producing lustful thoughts. A feat I had to discipline myself over the years

Most Helpful Girl

  • I mean, OK, this is obviously trolling. But... BUT butbutbutbut...

    Ironically, the "fatal danger" as shown by actual, real medical science -- at least for men -- lies in NOT ejaculating.
    The more a man ejaculates... The lower his chances of dying of prostate cancer.

    https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/844820

    Yep.

    So, for men who aren't in relationships right now -- or, worse, for men who've lost their wife/girlfriend/partner after many years -- the "fatal danger", ironically, would lie in NOT rubbing one out on the regular.

    You're welcome.
    <3

    • Can you screenshot for me this "study"? The MedScape link won't work, and obviously so, because it is a bunch of lies trying to trap people in a downward spiral of sexual sin.

    • Phew! Ima live to be 110! ;)

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

12 23
  • No… but it can lead to some pretty serious penis skin issues that can affect your sex life for sure. So what you want to use is a penis health creme. These are made just for guys who masturbate a lot and will form a layer of moisturization upon your penis skin that will shield it from chafing, soreness, discoloration and even numbness. These cremes are awesome.. google them. Hope this helps.

  • I have been masturbating since before I was a teenager and still do it. I did it while married and in relationships. It never stopped me from having sex with my woman. In fact, I have been caught many times doing it and my woman will always help me finish. At first it was a bit embarrassing. Then it became erotic and I have been known to deliberately get caught masturbating.

    If masturbating is self-abuse then I say, "Bring it on!" lol

    It is the safest sex one can have. I suspect that is why it is gaining in popularity along with easy access to unlimited porn videos these days.

  • I am on my way to the grave. Whoopee!

  • Waw, the world is coming to an end.

    • The world began coming to an end when the first man stuck his hand in his pants to master bate

    • People masturbated before pants were invented.

  • This all sounds familiar... hmmm.

    Well, sorry lady, I was too busy masturbating to read this.

  • Wheres the report button?

    I need to report a load of bullshit.

  • Quoting the author from a different reply...
    "Masturbation is NOT ok even if it is done in moderation! The pleasure is a ploy from The Devil to keep you in a downward spiral into even more and many sins! Potential side effects are gay, sphilis, and the bad AIDS! "

    Can't argue with a retard, won't even try since that will require me to stoop down to your non-existent intellect.

  • Someone, take this down. I can't believe the site is endorsing stuff like this.

  • I know, right? Masturbation is like, such a huge DON'T. Bravo for this awesome ask.

  • Is this the inventor of Kelloggs cereal?

    MEAT AND POTATOES! MEAT AND POTATOES!

  • LMAO oh wow! :o

    www.themarysue.com/.../...cuse-me-Say-what-GIF.gif

    i am a person who masturbates regularly and am still alive...

    media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx9jb1SPMr1qdrpdr.gif

    • I thought you were a zombie.

    • @Thisperson98 a walking zombie

    • Lololololololololololooloololooolol leave zombiebabe alone u guys lololol

    • Show All
  • I mean sure masturbation isn't good (which is why I've stopped) but I mean lethal I think you're coming on a bit strong and aren't going to convince anyone.

    • Did you experience any negative side effects from your self abuse?

    • Uh not many problems with the masturbation other than like when I did it to often my dick kind of just hurt but the problem is with porn that shit gets your mind really de-sensetized to it and you have to keep ramping up the porn and it really fucks with your expectations of sex etc found that out the hard way.

    • How do you feel after recovering from your self abuse? Is it preferable?

    • Show All
  • This is the funniest thing I've seen in ages!

  • I've been jacking off as a sole source of jollies for 11 years (and even when I had various gf's since I was 13 still did it on occasion) and have yet to die or go blind from it. This sounds like a serious take my grandma would write were she still alive.

  • stream1.gifsoup.com/.../picard-facepalm-o.gif

    Oh boy...

    I challenge you to find one single piece of scientific evidence to support anything you've said.

    • Samuel-Auguste Tissot. In 1760, published L'Onanisme, his own comprehensive medical treatise on the purported ill-effects of masturbation. Citing case studies of young male masturbators amongst his patients in Switzerland as basis for his reasoning. Tissot argued that semen was an "essential oil" and "stimulus" that, when lost from the body in great amounts, would cause "a perceptible reduction of strength, of memory and even of reason; blurred vision, all the nervous disorders, all types of gout and rheumatism, weakening of the organs of generation, blood in the urine, disturbance of the appetite, headaches and a great number of other disorders."

      Source: m.reddit.com/.../

  • Umm wtf? Can't tell if joking or stupid, but I'll assume innocent until proven guilty.

    • I suspect you are a masturbation victim

    • Soooo ur not joking? You're legit trying to say wanking off results in death? I mean there's trolls, but how can you expect this kind of get a laugh if you don't eventually use the punchline?

    • What punchline? This is a serious matter. Women and men are crowding asylums in greater & greater numbers due to this loathsome vice. They drag on a miserable existence, marrying and intermarrying, reproducing their kind, filling the earth with male and female masturbators, male and female prostitutes, male and female consumptives, and so on. I am hoping that every person who reads may be so impressed with the disgusting and horrible crime of masturbation that if not yet a victim, there will be no danger of becoming one.

    • Show All
  • What happens when I masturbate on a girl? Like she wants a body shot? So I pull out and go all sprinkler on her?

  • I'm masturbating to this

    • lol Awesome answer to this bullcrap article lol

    • @AlphaMale1 well it is satire

  • NoFap detected.

    I keep wanking until I pass out and fall asleep. I can't have sex in any other way.

    • One say you may fall asleep and never wake up

    • Bonk off!

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