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Is it Ever Okay to Have Sex With Your Best Friend's Ex?

Is it Ever Okay to Have Sex With Your Best Friend's Ex?

You've been best friends forever! You know things about each other that no one else will ever know. You helped him move into his apartment. He told you all about the first time he had sex. But . . .

You have "the hots" for his girlfriend. She looks like a goddess and she is so outgoing and friendly . . . and maybe even flirtatious with you. She and your friend are having some problems and he's told you that she's been acting like a bitch, but you don't see it. Still, you're a supportive friend and you are there for him . . . especially when they break up.

Then, she calls you. She just wants to get together to talk about your friend. Based on her earlier flirtations manner, you suspect that she wants more than just a chance to talk. You know that if you see her, there is a good chance that you will spend the night giving her a poke! Should you do it?

Reasons why you SHOULD:

1. She's fucking HOT and she wants it.

2. You know it will feel damned good!

Is it Ever Okay to Have Sex With Your Best Friend's Ex?

Reasons why you should NOT:

1. He is your best friend and he has been forever.

2. This girl is hot but it's not like she's The One and you are going to marry her.

3. Your friend will feel betrayed and it will end your friendship.

4. She may be doing this hoping that he will find out; this is her manipulative way of getting revenge!

5. How would you feel if your best friend had sex with YOUR ex?

6. Two or three years from now, when you look back on this incident, will you be proud of the way you conducted yourself? These are the moments when you either build self-esteem or you say, "Fuck self-esteem! She's hot and I need to get laid!"

* * * * * * *

What will you do in these circumstances?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I think out of respect for the friendship, a person should never sleep with their best friend's ex. It just creates drama and unnecessary problems in the friendship.

    Whenever someone asks me about this sort of situation, I always ask them how they would feel if the situation was reversed, and their best friend slept with their ex. Even if the person hates their ex, I'm sure they would be hurt that their best friend potentially doesn't even care about their friend's feelings.

    I've had a friend get into a relationship with an ex of mine and I can tell you it hurt that they totally disregarded my feelings. I get they can make choices to be with whomever they want. But ultimately they made a choice to put the friendship at risk by choosing to sleep with their friend's ex. It's a sticky situation.

    Are there exceptions? Sure. There are people who dated a friend's ex who married that person and the friend was fine with it. But it's always best to check in with how your friend feels first. Unless you are okay with the friendship breaking down.

Most Helpful Guy

  • As long as they are ok with it. Meh whateves. You can't help who you like

    But if it bothers the ' friend' then its up for debate whether the friend or your potential love is more important. Which is for the person to decide

    No right or wrong. Just a choice you have to be ok to live with

    • The problem is that many people will never say, "Yes, that would bother me," even though that is how they feel.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • No, it's never okay. Not a good idea, unless your relationship with your friend is no longer important to you.

  • No you shouldn't not if you respect your friend

  • If it were just sex, thenjoy I think not.

    If some meaningful connection was made, then I would say OK.

  • You're not an animal, you can control yourself. Also I'm pretty sure your best friend deserves respect, sleeping with his ex would prove otherwise. Just be a decent human and find another girl, there's plenty of them out there

  • I don't know how this may sound but if its my ex and idc bout him not one bit i wouldn't mind like ur my best friend im not bout to end a friendship of many years because you screwed my ex as long as you come to me first and ask me how i feel about it... just don't have sex with him then later on i found out on my own now i would be upset because you could of told me...(depending on how i feel bout them) i wouldn't cared now its like u keeping secrets and its going make me question our trust... but long story short i wouldn't care if i don't have no feelings toward him and she told me she wanted to or asked me

  • I live by few rules :

    1- dont date or sleep with a friends ex
    2- dont get too close to a friends girlfriend
    3- avoid taken girls

    • Good rules!

    • its not even a question for me, if a friend of mine or a guy i interact with often dated a girl even if there was no sex involved i won't touch her, it just doesn't feel right... but on the other hand some girls just jump from guy to guy for some fun these girls are free for all i dont mind a friend of mine getting with her after me my friends dont mind me getting with her after them.

    • @IceCubedude exactly, there is plenty of women around without the drama, great rules

    • Show All

  • You only ever have sex with a friends ex after talking to him about it and checking if he is ok with it or not.

  • You can have sex with anyone you want except your mother and your sister and your first cousin

    • 1. If you are speaking about legal restrictions, that is an incorrect statement of the law. 2. The point of the myTake is NOT about whether it is illegal to have sex with your best friend's ex. The question is whether it is a good decision in terms of morals or ethics. To say that it is not illegal does not answer the question.

    • You are losing it four at age 61 I thought you would recognize sarcasm

    • No, it was not obvious. I, too, sometimes engage in sarcasm and others miss the point. I am a very active and alert 61 year old man. No illness, no medications, never been in the hospital, working full-time, dating, etc.

    • Show All

  • Immediately after... Definitely no. After some time passes (a year or more), only if your friend gives the green light.

  • I would't go after my best friend's ex girlfriend, but my ex girlfriend's best friend is a different story.

  • Nope, not for me. Then again I've never had any exes.

  • — "How would you feel if your best friend had sex with YOUR ex?"
    …not that bad, actually. They're my ex, not my current partner.

    • Have you ever had a girlfriend? Have you ever broken up with a girlfriend? Have you ever broken up with a girlfriend and then had your best friend have sex with your ex? You don't know how you will feel about such things until they actually happen to you.

  • OlderAndWiser-I've been faced with that very thing many times. Sometimes
    I got my jollies and sometimes I didn't. I'd say each situation is different and
    there's no one size fits all answer.

  • It would be the worst thing to do i think

  • Never never should anyone have sex with their best friends ex. It shows one had no respect for themselves and no respect for their relationships.

  • If you know a guy is still not completely over her or sees her in a certain light even though they break up, say, still likes her and they aren't together for some other reasons, then you definitely shouldn't sleep with her.

    A person who selfishly does something for himself with no regard for his friend's feelings is NOT a friend. Sleep with his ex - hurt his feelings and show him you were never his friend. That's not something he can forget and most likely he will never forgive. Or he will as in he will move on and stop obsessing about it, but he won't see you as a friend anymore. Friendships rarely recover from this.

    I was on a receiving end of that. That girl broke up with me and my friend who can easily get laid and did with many girls went for my ex, even though he asked me something before that and I clearly and directly said I wouldn't be ok. He did anyways and his excuse was something like "It's one thing when someone tells me, I should make my own mistakes and learn". It's like dude - I'm not your parents and it's not like I'm supposed to be happy with what you did because it's your learning process. Anyways, he apologized later and I accepted apologies just for him to leave me alone. He never messaged me after that :) If it was something serious and they were dating to get married etc - of course I'd be happy for them, but then can wait for sex until sure it's serious. But he just fucked her/dated short-term and that was it.

    Now he's happily married to someone else, posting pics etc, has a great job and makes money. I just resent him and find it unfair that a person who knowingly hurt his friend like that is rewarded in life so much.

    p. s. Even the Bro Code says it's not cool.

    • You are assuming that he is happy, right? Maybe he is like a male nympho. . . gets laid all the time but never satisfied.

    • Oh one of those cases where a starving person should feel sorry for some fatass who took food from him because he can't control his eating? Yeah, maybe getting laid all the time is bad, you're right. Poor dude.

    • No, I didn't post that response to excuse his for his rat bastard behavior. You said, "He's happily married now," and I was adding that maybe he's not all that happy so maybe he is experiencing some karma.

  • Only if you hate them

    • The friend or the ex?

    • The friend.

  • I don't think it is though unless she is the one right?

    Would you sleep around like that if you really thought he was your best friend? Tbh I wouldn't do that. I agree on point 4 is a possibilty.

    Do women do this, it seems with them, it's even more of an option to outdo the other women?

    Can u help me out, I have a question on whether women are kinkier with lovers than bfs?

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