We have all heard it before. There are things that women wish men understood about them and there are things that men wish women understood about them. The Battle of the Sexes is as old as humanity itself, and while this Take will certainly be followed up by a female equivalent, I just want to point out eight things that I so desperately wish women understood about being a man. Because if we can educate one another on these things, then perhaps we can coexist together more peacefully.
#8) Success Being a Measure of Manhood
From professional athletes like football players to multimillionaire businessmen like Wall Street, manhood is unfortunately measured by success. The amount of money you make and prestige of your career is used to gauge how much of a man you are. If you lack both, then you will always be viewed as a beta male at best, even if you work hard in a blue-collar profession, remain faithful to your wife, and take care of your children like every good man should. It does not matter. We are a society that cares more about aesthetics and 'earthly' glory than about virtue, honor, and integrity. A womanizing businessman or athlete who cheats on his wife, robs from the poor, and never visits his children will always be held in more esteem than a good man, by virtue of his career and money.
Men are primarily judged by virtue of their career and money.
What physical appearances are to women, earthly success is to men. We have it drilled into our heads from birth that we have to work hard, we have to succeed, we have to make a name for ourselves otherwise we will never be a true man. And even if you worked as hard as you can, acquired graduate degrees from college, and did everything humanly possible to succeed, failure is on your shoulders alone. It does not matter if there were factors outside of your control like poverty, lack of friends in powerful places, and bad luck itself. You are expected to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, and if you don't, then you are a failure.
You have failed to be a man.
Someone who succeeded only because of a hefty inheritance, family influence, and/or having everything handed to him in life will still be held in higher esteem than you are. Such is the way of the GOP, and I sadly admit that as a member of the GOP. You are probably thinking that this is ridiculous, that you could care less if a man is successful as long as he is a hard worker.
Well unfortunately men are not judged by the same standards as women.
Whereas most people could care less about whether or not a woman is successful, with wealthy men actually preferring poorer women who still live at home, success means everything as far as men are concerned. It is how we are judged, just as you are judged by your physical appearance.
#7) Being Shamed for Your Virginity
We all know how it goes: women are judged for their rampant promiscuity while men are judged for their pathetic virginity. But what few people and especially women realize is the extent that men are shamed for their virginity. Just ask yourself: what comes to mind when you think of a male virgin? Chances are it is one of two caricatures: loser, misogynistic neckbeards who work at video game stores, or at the very best, goodhearted but somewhat naive overgrown children whom you would love to have for a son but hate to have for a partner. Think Steve Carell
Female promiscuity on the other hand? It is often glamorized and portrayed in a positive manner.
Just think Sex and the City. In fact, nowadays you would never see a movie poking fun at female promiscuity the way male virginity is poked fun at because feminists have gained so much power that it would automatically be condemned for "slut-shaming" among other charges. The same cannot be said for male virgins however. It is open season for us. Just look at Tim Tebow.
"Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for my sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in Heaven."
~Matthew 5:10-11 (NKJV)
The amount of shaming that he received for openly announcing his virginity and refusing to have sex with Miss America or whoever is astounding in a society that considers itself so sexually 'progressive' and 'tolerant.' And I believe that the reason is because the two common caricatures of male virginity do not apply to him. If anything, he SHOULD be Chad Thundercock. But the fact that he cared more so about his religious values than earthly glory does not fly with our preconceptions. We want male virgins to be misogynistic, loser neckbeards or Jim Carell's; the fact that many of them are not makes us angry. It is completely unfathomable and violates our stereotypes.
This is a testament to how pervasive stereotypes are regarding male virginity.
And unlike female promiscuity, we are afforded no sympathy or defense from feminists who will condemn it all as "slut-shaming." There is no glamorization of it like Sex and the City. We are fair game. More than anything, the stigma is even worse. More often than not, promiscuous women are shamed merely by other women. Women themselves are the biggest perpetrators of "slut-shaming." The vast majority of males are indifferent toward a woman's sexual past, or at least more likely to overlook it and/or not resort to open hostility like other women. Virgin men face this too from their own sex. But unlike promiscuous women, they also face it from the opposite sex.
Not only do other men look down upon virgin men, but women do as well.
And you do not realize how utterly defeating it is for a woman to reject you because of your virginity, to cast your very manhood itself into doubt simply because you have never had sex. This is a pain completely unfathomable to the vast majority of women, even promiscuous ones.
And it is the reality for virgin men everywhere.
#6) The Importance of Sex
There is horny, and then there is being a man. Being a man by default means that you are extremely horny, to a level that is not comprehendible to even the most promiscuous of women. Women *think* they understand how horny men are, but not even the most experienced, seasoned women fully grasp the truth of male horniness. It has the power to reduce us to level of dogs, like marionettes controlled by a woman's beauty. From the onset of puberty around 12 years old to the day he dies, a man is forced to deal with a desire for sex akin to a heroin addict.
It is every man's greatest challenge.
I say this not to excuse bad male behavior like the use of prostitutes and pornography, or even worse, infidelity and rape, but to give women a glimpse of just how hard (pun not intended) men have it. What your period is to you, the desire for sex is to men. Except, we have no menopause where it all stops. Our desire stays with us until the day we die, starting from the onset of puberty.
Imagine having to spend your entire life assaulted with provocative images of beautiful women. From television to magazines to Victoria's Secret and even cheerleaders in football, there is no escape from sexual arousal if you are a man. Society is always trying to exploit that carnal male instinct in order to turn a profit. Sex sells. It is always trying to evoke that biological response. Imagine having to deal with erections at the most inconvenient of times, trying to have eyes for no woman but your wife, and the frustration of being assailed 24/7 with such images yet not being able to have sex or even masturbate for whatever reason. Even worse, it is not just grown men that have to deal with this but prepubescent boys and teenagers as well. Especially when feminism is doing the exact opposite by encouraging their female peers to be promiscuous and dress provocatively as a form of 'empowerment,' yet shaming these boys for feeling aroused by it or associating it with sex.
It is a mild form of sexual assault. I do not care what anyone says. If grown men wanted a "Free the Penis" movement so that they could not wear pants around little girls, you would rightfully condemn it as a sexual perversion. Yet grown-ass feminist women advocate it all the time via toplessness and nobody even considers the little boys that are affected by it. I wish for just one day -- just one, single day -- women could understand what it is like to be a man with raging hormones in our overly sexualized society. Maybe then they would be more sensitive to our frustrations.
#5) Having Your Problems Minimized
From depression to mental health in general, males are at an especially bad disadvantage. Nobody takes them seriously, and there is a huge stigma surrounding males with problems. They are dismissed as weak, homosexual, or worse: not real men. Men are expected to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps and if that does not work, then it is their own fault and they are failures.
Every problem a man has is merely the result of his own bad decisions and inability to cope. From the widespread acceptance of domestic violence against men -- with "kick him in the balls" as a common joke -- to the difficulties of the workplace and school, nobody takes the problems of men seriously. This includes what I mentioned in my last point about male sexuality. If a pubescent boy is feeling sexually frustrated, horny, or acting out in a sexually inappropriate matter, then you punish him and teach him not to be a little pervert. Use force. But if a teenage girl is cutting herself and vomiting her dinner, then it is a national crisis that needs to be addressed at all costs.
But not if it is a male. Because if it is a male, then he is just a faggot for acting out and needs discipline. Punish him, yell at him, use force, and make him get better. But again, God forbid we ever tell a teenage girl to stop sticking her finger in her mouth to vomit, or punish her for doing so. If a man's wife is slapping him and breaking him down emotionally every day, it is because he is being a lousy husband. If a man is frustrated at work, it is because he is being a lousy employee. If a man wraps a rope around his neck and jumps, it is because he was never a real man in the first place.
He was weak, a faggot, and could not cope. A waste of oxygen. But Heaven forbid it be a woman.
Because then she is a damsel in distress,
One whose problems overrule everything else,
One whom we as big strong men must defend at all costs.
If a woman is unhappy with the way she looks, then it is a public health crisis. It is the result of "body shaming." The swimsuit issue must go, or start including overweight women to make insecure women feel better about themselves. If a woman is being laughed at for her promiscuity, then it is because of "slut-shaming" and is a national emergency. Better start bringing feminists into the classroom. If a woman gets in trouble at the workplace and cries, then it is a state of emergency that must be dealt with swiftly via quotas, affirmative action, and the immediate firing of her boss.
Men have never been afforded this same luxury. Nobody takes our problems seriously.
#4) Always Being Wrong
Recently there was another similar MyTake written by an anonymous female poster who listed some of the things that she learned about men. One of them was that men are always wrong, or at least expected to concede an argument with a woman. She went as far as to list an example in school, wherein a lazy teacher 'resolved' a dispute between a male and female student by just telling the male that "a happy wife is a happy life."
This is but one example of how men are always viewed as wrong in society, even when they are justifiably right. From marital disputes to encounters with women, if you are the man you are wrong. It does not matter if she cheated on you, you should have been a better husband. You must have neglected her. It does not matter if that little girl bullied you on the playground. You are the boy. Who cares? Consider it preparation for marriage. It does not matter if there was no possible way you, a male virgin, could have been the father. If a pregnant woman says that you are the father, you must fulfill that role otherwise you are not a real man.
Worse than that, even if you prove yourself correct, a paternity test being one example, there is still no vindication. Your reputation is forever ruined, and you will be viewed in a worse light than if you had just accepted whatever false accusation the woman waged against you. It is considered dishonorable for a man to prove a woman wrong, even when it concerns his very reputation and well-being. You should have fulfilled the role of father, allowed yourself to be cheated, and missed out. It is what real men do. Real men do not make women cry, even when women behave maliciously and are downright wrong. The divorce court is the ultimate example of this.
Women are almost always awarded sole custody of the children, the house, and most of the assets because by default, the man must always be wrong. It does not matter if she cheated on him, used drugs, wasted their money, or neglected the children. All the courts see is that she has a vagina. Therefore as a protected class, she must be in the right no matter what. And if the man refuses to pay alimony or willingly give up everything he ever worked for including his own children, then he is dishonorable and ought to be socially ostracized. More of that gentlemen be-a-man bullshit. Yet if the father actually wins and takes care of his children, he is still viewed in a negative light like he screwed over his ex-wife, even if she was a cheater who hated her children.
#3) Being Shamed For Getting Help
Echoing mental health once again, men are stigmatized for receiving help. From therapy to counseling, lifting heavy objects, and medical care, it is considered extremely dishonorable for a man to ever reach out. If you are a man, then you are supposed to resolve your issues by yourself -- pull yourself up by your own bootstraps -- as I have repeated ad nauseam on here. Men do not express their feelings, much less talk about them to other people. At best it means you are feminine; at worst it means that you are a faggot who is to be afforded no sympathy or respect whatsoever. This is especially made worse if the help you receive comes from a woman, because it means that gender roles have been reversed since men are supposed to be the ones helping women.
Of course, this all goes back to my fifth point about male problems being minimized. Men are not supposed to receive help because men are not supposed to have any real problems to begin with. If a man receives help, then it is because he is being a weak, overemotional woman. It means that he is allowing his feelings to prevent him from being a man. And while as a proponent of traditional gender roles, I firmly do believe that men have to sometimes put their own problems aside for the sake of the sexy women, there is a line. A man battling depression or some other serious clinical issue cannot "pull himself up" by his own bootstraps. Yet not only is it acceptable for women to receive help, but it is also expected and even encouraged by the same people who would never extend the same privilege to a man.
Women will never understand what it is like not being able to receive help.
#2) Being Entitled to No Pity
At this point I have used up my 20 images. So from here on out the rest of this MyTake will lack illustrations for my points. But it is no matter. The true power consists in my words, and as #2, this is one of the most important items on my list. Women, read carefully. Being a man means that you are entitled to absolutely no pity whatsoever. When women have problems, they complain--er, "communicate," to each other about them. They encourage each other, lend an open ear, and sympathize with one another. This is the complete opposite of what it is like for men. If a man were to show up for work "communicating" about how tired he is after waking up so early, his sore muscles, the difficulty of balancing it with his home life, and everything else that women "communicate" about, he would be laughed off the job at best and openly ridiculed at the worst.
Nobody gives a shit about how a man is feeling.
Nobody cares if he is tired, or if he got in a bad argument with his wife the previous night, or is having problems at home. Nobody cares if traffic was bad or if his feelings are hurt or if he is dealing with true grief inside. Men are entitled to no pity whatsoever. They are expected to DEAL with their problems because "dealing" with them is considered an essential part of being a man. Nobody is going to help you or lend an open ear. Nobody is going to give you a hug.
And while it is true that all adults need to be able to manage their problems, and that people who constantly expect pity yet no solutions like neckbeards are entitled to neither, there is a line. Sometimes individuals need basic human compassion like a hug or "I hope it works out bud." Men are afforded none of this, making it one of the saddest parts about being a man.
You were drafted? But you just got your degree and started a new job? Too bad!
But a woman is cold? Fuck, she is cold? Hold the phone. Someone get her a jacket immediately!
Yet not even this is the worst part about being a man.
The grand finale...
Wait for it,
#1) Being Sexually Worthless...
This is extremely cold, and at the risk of sounding like a loser neckbeard, women need to know that the reality men find themselves in as it pertains to dating, sex, and relationships is completely different from that of women. The vast majority of men are by default sexually worthless. That is to say, nobody wants them and the laws of sexual selection theory are completely rigged against them. 80/20 Rule, Chad Thundercock, and all of that...I do not completely agree with the conclusions that are drawn from these facts, nor the defeatist attitude adopted by the so many neckbeards who lurk this forum, but the truth of the matter is that men are at a total disadvantage.
This is something that women will never be able to comprehend, no matter how sympathetic they may be toward it. Imagine never being wanted, rejection being not the exception but the norm. This is the reality for about 80% of the male population and even that is a conservative estimate. It is really probably somewhere around 90-95%. The fact being that unless you are Chad Thundercock, you are going to be fighting an uphill battle. And that is putting it lightly.
There is no sexual middle class for the male population.
You are either Chad Thundercock or you are not.
Even average and below average women are in a better position than men are. Most of them will be asked out at least a few times in their life, and can expect to have their princess moment like prom. Most men will never be afforded this same luxury, and the prospect of dying alone is literally all too real for the majority of them. More than that, the only difference between a man who expects for every woman to look like a Victoria's Secret angel and a woman who expects for every man to look like Chad Thundercock is that the latter is actually in a position where she can reasonably expect to acquire one over time. Men on the other hand will be lucky with whatever they get.
And the few average men lucky enough to acquire Victoria's Secret angel women like my father are the anomaly. They are blessed literally on the level of Divine intervention.
Again, this is not to justify the defeatist attitudes of loser neckbeards nor their acceptance for perversions like prostitution which "break the game," but just to bear witness to how cruelly opposed the game is to average men. My aim is not to "break the game" but to encourage men to adopt a better strategy in order to succeed according to the rules of the game.
Without resorting to the 'nuclear' option...