8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

We have all heard it before. There are things that women wish men understood about them and there are things that men wish women understood about them. The Battle of the Sexes is as old as humanity itself, and while this Take will certainly be followed up by a female equivalent, I just want to point out eight things that I so desperately wish women understood about being a man. Because if we can educate one another on these things, then perhaps we can coexist together more peacefully.

#8) Success Being a Measure of Manhood

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

From professional athletes like football players to multimillionaire businessmen like Wall Street, manhood is unfortunately measured by success. The amount of money you make and prestige of your career is used to gauge how much of a man you are. If you lack both, then you will always be viewed as a beta male at best, even if you work hard in a blue-collar profession, remain faithful to your wife, and take care of your children like every good man should. It does not matter. We are a society that cares more about aesthetics and 'earthly' glory than about virtue, honor, and integrity. A womanizing businessman or athlete who cheats on his wife, robs from the poor, and never visits his children will always be held in more esteem than a good man, by virtue of his career and money.

Men are primarily judged by virtue of their career and money.

What physical appearances are to women, earthly success is to men. We have it drilled into our heads from birth that we have to work hard, we have to succeed, we have to make a name for ourselves otherwise we will never be a true man. And even if you worked as hard as you can, acquired graduate degrees from college, and did everything humanly possible to succeed, failure is on your shoulders alone. It does not matter if there were factors outside of your control like poverty, lack of friends in powerful places, and bad luck itself. You are expected to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, and if you don't, then you are a failure.

You have failed to be a man.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

Someone who succeeded only because of a hefty inheritance, family influence, and/or having everything handed to him in life will still be held in higher esteem than you are. Such is the way of the GOP, and I sadly admit that as a member of the GOP. You are probably thinking that this is ridiculous, that you could care less if a man is successful as long as he is a hard worker.

Well unfortunately men are not judged by the same standards as women.

Whereas most people could care less about whether or not a woman is successful, with wealthy men actually preferring poorer women who still live at home, success means everything as far as men are concerned. It is how we are judged, just as you are judged by your physical appearance.

#7) Being Shamed for Your Virginity

We all know how it goes: women are judged for their rampant promiscuity while men are judged for their pathetic virginity. But what few people and especially women realize is the extent that men are shamed for their virginity. Just ask yourself: what comes to mind when you think of a male virgin? Chances are it is one of two caricatures: loser, misogynistic neckbeards who work at video game stores, or at the very best, goodhearted but somewhat naive overgrown children whom you would love to have for a son but hate to have for a partner. Think Steve Carell

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

Female promiscuity on the other hand? It is often glamorized and portrayed in a positive manner.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

Just think Sex and the City. In fact, nowadays you would never see a movie poking fun at female promiscuity the way male virginity is poked fun at because feminists have gained so much power that it would automatically be condemned for "slut-shaming" among other charges. The same cannot be said for male virgins however. It is open season for us. Just look at Tim Tebow.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

"Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for my sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in Heaven."
~Matthew 5:10-11 (NKJV)

The amount of shaming that he received for openly announcing his virginity and refusing to have sex with Miss America or whoever is astounding in a society that considers itself so sexually 'progressive' and 'tolerant.' And I believe that the reason is because the two common caricatures of male virginity do not apply to him. If anything, he SHOULD be Chad Thundercock. But the fact that he cared more so about his religious values than earthly glory does not fly with our preconceptions. We want male virgins to be misogynistic, loser neckbeards or Jim Carell's; the fact that many of them are not makes us angry. It is completely unfathomable and violates our stereotypes.

This is a testament to how pervasive stereotypes are regarding male virginity.

And unlike female promiscuity, we are afforded no sympathy or defense from feminists who will condemn it all as "slut-shaming." There is no glamorization of it like Sex and the City. We are fair game. More than anything, the stigma is even worse. More often than not, promiscuous women are shamed merely by other women. Women themselves are the biggest perpetrators of "slut-shaming." The vast majority of males are indifferent toward a woman's sexual past, or at least more likely to overlook it and/or not resort to open hostility like other women. Virgin men face this too from their own sex. But unlike promiscuous women, they also face it from the opposite sex.

Not only do other men look down upon virgin men, but women do as well.

And you do not realize how utterly defeating it is for a woman to reject you because of your virginity, to cast your very manhood itself into doubt simply because you have never had sex. This is a pain completely unfathomable to the vast majority of women, even promiscuous ones.

And it is the reality for virgin men everywhere.

#6) The Importance of Sex

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

There is horny, and then there is being a man. Being a man by default means that you are extremely horny, to a level that is not comprehendible to even the most promiscuous of women. Women *think* they understand how horny men are, but not even the most experienced, seasoned women fully grasp the truth of male horniness. It has the power to reduce us to level of dogs, like marionettes controlled by a woman's beauty. From the onset of puberty around 12 years old to the day he dies, a man is forced to deal with a desire for sex akin to a heroin addict.

It is every man's greatest challenge.

I say this not to excuse bad male behavior like the use of prostitutes and pornography, or even worse, infidelity and rape, but to give women a glimpse of just how hard (pun not intended) men have it. What your period is to you, the desire for sex is to men. Except, we have no menopause where it all stops. Our desire stays with us until the day we die, starting from the onset of puberty.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

Imagine having to spend your entire life assaulted with provocative images of beautiful women. From television to magazines to Victoria's Secret and even cheerleaders in football, there is no escape from sexual arousal if you are a man. Society is always trying to exploit that carnal male instinct in order to turn a profit. Sex sells. It is always trying to evoke that biological response. Imagine having to deal with erections at the most inconvenient of times, trying to have eyes for no woman but your wife, and the frustration of being assailed 24/7 with such images yet not being able to have sex or even masturbate for whatever reason. Even worse, it is not just grown men that have to deal with this but prepubescent boys and teenagers as well. Especially when feminism is doing the exact opposite by encouraging their female peers to be promiscuous and dress provocatively as a form of 'empowerment,' yet shaming these boys for feeling aroused by it or associating it with sex.

It is a mild form of sexual assault. I do not care what anyone says. If grown men wanted a "Free the Penis" movement so that they could not wear pants around little girls, you would rightfully condemn it as a sexual perversion. Yet grown-ass feminist women advocate it all the time via toplessness and nobody even considers the little boys that are affected by it. I wish for just one day -- just one, single day -- women could understand what it is like to be a man with raging hormones in our overly sexualized society. Maybe then they would be more sensitive to our frustrations.

#5) Having Your Problems Minimized

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

From depression to mental health in general, males are at an especially bad disadvantage. Nobody takes them seriously, and there is a huge stigma surrounding males with problems. They are dismissed as weak, homosexual, or worse: not real men. Men are expected to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps and if that does not work, then it is their own fault and they are failures.

Every problem a man has is merely the result of his own bad decisions and inability to cope. From the widespread acceptance of domestic violence against men -- with "kick him in the balls" as a common joke -- to the difficulties of the workplace and school, nobody takes the problems of men seriously. This includes what I mentioned in my last point about male sexuality. If a pubescent boy is feeling sexually frustrated, horny, or acting out in a sexually inappropriate matter, then you punish him and teach him not to be a little pervert. Use force. But if a teenage girl is cutting herself and vomiting her dinner, then it is a national crisis that needs to be addressed at all costs.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

But not if it is a male. Because if it is a male, then he is just a faggot for acting out and needs discipline. Punish him, yell at him, use force, and make him get better. But again, God forbid we ever tell a teenage girl to stop sticking her finger in her mouth to vomit, or punish her for doing so. If a man's wife is slapping him and breaking him down emotionally every day, it is because he is being a lousy husband. If a man is frustrated at work, it is because he is being a lousy employee. If a man wraps a rope around his neck and jumps, it is because he was never a real man in the first place.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

He was weak, a faggot, and could not cope. A waste of oxygen. But Heaven forbid it be a woman.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

Because then she is a damsel in distress,

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

One whose problems overrule everything else,

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

One whom we as big strong men must defend at all costs.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

If a woman is unhappy with the way she looks, then it is a public health crisis. It is the result of "body shaming." The swimsuit issue must go, or start including overweight women to make insecure women feel better about themselves. If a woman is being laughed at for her promiscuity, then it is because of "slut-shaming" and is a national emergency. Better start bringing feminists into the classroom. If a woman gets in trouble at the workplace and cries, then it is a state of emergency that must be dealt with swiftly via quotas, affirmative action, and the immediate firing of her boss.

Men have never been afforded this same luxury. Nobody takes our problems seriously.

#4) Always Being Wrong

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

Recently there was another similar MyTake written by an anonymous female poster who listed some of the things that she learned about men. One of them was that men are always wrong, or at least expected to concede an argument with a woman. She went as far as to list an example in school, wherein a lazy teacher 'resolved' a dispute between a male and female student by just telling the male that "a happy wife is a happy life."

This is but one example of how men are always viewed as wrong in society, even when they are justifiably right. From marital disputes to encounters with women, if you are the man you are wrong. It does not matter if she cheated on you, you should have been a better husband. You must have neglected her. It does not matter if that little girl bullied you on the playground. You are the boy. Who cares? Consider it preparation for marriage. It does not matter if there was no possible way you, a male virgin, could have been the father. If a pregnant woman says that you are the father, you must fulfill that role otherwise you are not a real man.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

Worse than that, even if you prove yourself correct, a paternity test being one example, there is still no vindication. Your reputation is forever ruined, and you will be viewed in a worse light than if you had just accepted whatever false accusation the woman waged against you. It is considered dishonorable for a man to prove a woman wrong, even when it concerns his very reputation and well-being. You should have fulfilled the role of father, allowed yourself to be cheated, and missed out. It is what real men do. Real men do not make women cry, even when women behave maliciously and are downright wrong. The divorce court is the ultimate example of this.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

Women are almost always awarded sole custody of the children, the house, and most of the assets because by default, the man must always be wrong. It does not matter if she cheated on him, used drugs, wasted their money, or neglected the children. All the courts see is that she has a vagina. Therefore as a protected class, she must be in the right no matter what. And if the man refuses to pay alimony or willingly give up everything he ever worked for including his own children, then he is dishonorable and ought to be socially ostracized. More of that gentlemen be-a-man bullshit. Yet if the father actually wins and takes care of his children, he is still viewed in a negative light like he screwed over his ex-wife, even if she was a cheater who hated her children.

#3) Being Shamed For Getting Help

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

Echoing mental health once again, men are stigmatized for receiving help. From therapy to counseling, lifting heavy objects, and medical care, it is considered extremely dishonorable for a man to ever reach out. If you are a man, then you are supposed to resolve your issues by yourself -- pull yourself up by your own bootstraps -- as I have repeated ad nauseam on here. Men do not express their feelings, much less talk about them to other people. At best it means you are feminine; at worst it means that you are a faggot who is to be afforded no sympathy or respect whatsoever. This is especially made worse if the help you receive comes from a woman, because it means that gender roles have been reversed since men are supposed to be the ones helping women.

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

Of course, this all goes back to my fifth point about male problems being minimized. Men are not supposed to receive help because men are not supposed to have any real problems to begin with. If a man receives help, then it is because he is being a weak, overemotional woman. It means that he is allowing his feelings to prevent him from being a man. And while as a proponent of traditional gender roles, I firmly do believe that men have to sometimes put their own problems aside for the sake of the sexy women, there is a line. A man battling depression or some other serious clinical issue cannot "pull himself up" by his own bootstraps. Yet not only is it acceptable for women to receive help, but it is also expected and even encouraged by the same people who would never extend the same privilege to a man.

Women will never understand what it is like not being able to receive help.

#2) Being Entitled to No Pity

At this point I have used up my 20 images. So from here on out the rest of this MyTake will lack illustrations for my points. But it is no matter. The true power consists in my words, and as #2, this is one of the most important items on my list. Women, read carefully. Being a man means that you are entitled to absolutely no pity whatsoever. When women have problems, they complain--er, "communicate," to each other about them. They encourage each other, lend an open ear, and sympathize with one another. This is the complete opposite of what it is like for men. If a man were to show up for work "communicating" about how tired he is after waking up so early, his sore muscles, the difficulty of balancing it with his home life, and everything else that women "communicate" about, he would be laughed off the job at best and openly ridiculed at the worst.

Nobody gives a shit about how a man is feeling.

Nobody cares if he is tired, or if he got in a bad argument with his wife the previous night, or is having problems at home. Nobody cares if traffic was bad or if his feelings are hurt or if he is dealing with true grief inside. Men are entitled to no pity whatsoever. They are expected to DEAL with their problems because "dealing" with them is considered an essential part of being a man. Nobody is going to help you or lend an open ear. Nobody is going to give you a hug.

And while it is true that all adults need to be able to manage their problems, and that people who constantly expect pity yet no solutions like neckbeards are entitled to neither, there is a line. Sometimes individuals need basic human compassion like a hug or "I hope it works out bud." Men are afforded none of this, making it one of the saddest parts about being a man.

You were drafted? But you just got your degree and started a new job? Too bad!

But a woman is cold? Fuck, she is cold? Hold the phone. Someone get her a jacket immediately!

Yet not even this is the worst part about being a man.

The grand finale...

Wait for it,

#1) Being Sexually Worthless...

8 Things I Wish Women Understood About Being a Man

This is extremely cold, and at the risk of sounding like a loser neckbeard, women need to know that the reality men find themselves in as it pertains to dating, sex, and relationships is completely different from that of women. The vast majority of men are by default sexually worthless. That is to say, nobody wants them and the laws of sexual selection theory are completely rigged against them. 80/20 Rule, Chad Thundercock, and all of that...I do not completely agree with the conclusions that are drawn from these facts, nor the defeatist attitude adopted by the so many neckbeards who lurk this forum, but the truth of the matter is that men are at a total disadvantage.

This is something that women will never be able to comprehend, no matter how sympathetic they may be toward it. Imagine never being wanted, rejection being not the exception but the norm. This is the reality for about 80% of the male population and even that is a conservative estimate. It is really probably somewhere around 90-95%. The fact being that unless you are Chad Thundercock, you are going to be fighting an uphill battle. And that is putting it lightly.

There is no sexual middle class for the male population.

You are either Chad Thundercock or you are not.

Even average and below average women are in a better position than men are. Most of them will be asked out at least a few times in their life, and can expect to have their princess moment like prom. Most men will never be afforded this same luxury, and the prospect of dying alone is literally all too real for the majority of them. More than that, the only difference between a man who expects for every woman to look like a Victoria's Secret angel and a woman who expects for every man to look like Chad Thundercock is that the latter is actually in a position where she can reasonably expect to acquire one over time. Men on the other hand will be lucky with whatever they get.

And the few average men lucky enough to acquire Victoria's Secret angel women like my father are the anomaly. They are blessed literally on the level of Divine intervention.

Again, this is not to justify the defeatist attitudes of loser neckbeards nor their acceptance for perversions like prostitution which "break the game," but just to bear witness to how cruelly opposed the game is to average men. My aim is not to "break the game" but to encourage men to adopt a better strategy in order to succeed according to the rules of the game.

Without resorting to the 'nuclear' option...

19 36

Most Helpful Guy

  • While I do agree with a lot of your take, I have to say that society has done a lot to fuck us all over, both men and women. By telling us that we have to behave in a certain way based on whats between our legs and treating us differently, or getting all pissy if someone does not behave in a way that is expected of them.

    Also, I find that most of these expectations normally come from the same sex, rather than the opposite sex. I know I am much more likely to give/get sympathy or help from a woman than I am from a man.

    • For an 18yo, you're bang on the money.

    • @tbm1986 Thanks. I have much older brothers/sisters, so I have always acted a lot older than I am. Big fan of Maiden as well.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Depends on how you look at it... I've seen guys turn even the 1st point into success, if you measure success as sleeping with lots of women. Lots of guys say it is success lol. But they broke as hell ones get lots of girls...

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

29 40
  • I never thought of number 6 that way. Interesting take.

  • Interesting read, though I have to disagree with your comments on feminists encouraging young girls to dress with more promiscuity and your comparison of the "free the nipple" movement with "free the penis". The point of the "free the nipple" movement is to help desexualize the female nipple. After all, everyone has nipples, why do only women have to cover theirs? Also "free the penis" would only be congruent with this movement if it was called "free the pussy", which, as we both know well enough, it is not. As for the pre pubescent wardrobe change, feminists are not saying that girls should dress more provocatively, they're saying that girls should be able to have the same rules that boys do when it comes to dress codes. In many schools, boys can wear tank tops with thinner straps and wear shorter shorts than boys. They aren't saying that the boys need to deny their sexual awakening, just that the girls should not have to compromise their wardrobes just so the boys at school will have an easier time keeping their hands, thoughts, and comments to themselves. Getting detention because your bra strap can be seen under your tank top strap is ludicrous. everyonie KNOWS you're wearing a bra, just because they can see it suddenly its a distraction? it's ludicrous.

    • Amen, best response!

  • Apreciate the mytake on this. If I didn't know any better i would say that my boyfriend wrote this. These are topics that we discuss often. Especially #6. I wish today's women had the same mind set of the women of yesteryear. Where we stood up for our men and they were the leader as head of the household. I totally believe in being a submissive woman... it's how we were designed. Men and woman are not equal... don't get me wrong there are some things that should be equal such as if I have the same degree as you and we have the same job that we started the same time our pay should be equal. We too equally help our husbands/men to provide for the family.
    Society has for more years than can be counted shamed men for having some of the same emotional troubles as a woman. Men get sad, angry, depressed, hurt. They have anxiety, mood swings, up and downs. And as women we should do more to understand that and not take it personal. Now with that being said men have to learn to control themselves just like women do... it's not an open door to do whatever whenever to whomever.

  • "What your period is to you, the desire for sex is to men". No. Just no. Most of this take is totally valid, and it was great to hear your perspective on these issues. But you're generalizing way too much with this one, and the comparison also makes no sense in the first place. Equating having periods to having a libido is nothing short of ridiculous.

    First of all, sexual desire is a complex issue that varies from person to person probably way more than it varies based on gender. There are tons of relationships where the girl wants sex more often than her partner does. You're completely overlooking all of that variation. Yes, men are stereo-typically the horny ones, and maybe you as an individual fall into the extreme end of that. But being horny isn't nearly as much of a gender issue as you're making it out to be.

    You're also saying that being horny is somehow the same thing as bleeding from your genitals for a week straight while being in severe pain and simultaneously going crazy from mood swings that you can do nothing about. I'm sorry, what? Sure, being horny isn't always a walk in the park, especially if you're not getting laid as often as you'd like to (or at all). But being sexually frustrated is not the same thing as dealing with periods. Please, find another comparison.

    • Clearly someone who doesn't understand male horniness and rejection. We never belittle how painful childbirth is (thank fuck I'm not a woman for THAT), so please don't belittle our high levels of testosterone and how much distraction and frustration it gives us. If you've had to take steroids, then yes, sorry, you do understand.

    • @tbm1986 I'm not belittling the frustration that a high sex drive can cause. But it's also not like men are the only ones who have libidos. It just makes no sense to compare this to periods.

    • No, if you're a guy, sexual release is just a mandatory function. It needs to be done, or you'll go insane. I masturbate daily, and not just because it feels good (it does), but because I have to, or else I'll be mudras me and insane.

    • Show All
  • Very thoughtful and well-written. I have always been of the opinion that things are critically unfair for both genders, and that we would all be better off if we could just empathize with one another. Family Court, for example, is one area where men always seem to get unceremoniously shafted where even the most undeserving women can count on things going in their favor, and I have always found that bothersome.

    Women aren't the only victims of sexism, they're just the only ones who are allowed to complain about it.

    Bravo.

  • since when are women -stereotypically- taken 'seriously' for anything. the reason men get treated as if thy should be strong is bc people expect something of them. women are looked own upon as weak and helpless. this s not taking a problem seriously. this is not taking a person seriously. this is seeing a person as a problem. hence men thinking women need to be controlled by men. which regardless of modern laws is still principally how most cultures operate.

    girls do get punished for sticking their fingers down their throat. they get locked up stripped of clothing tied down force ed provented from communicating with anyone become a ward of the state even as an adult.. and all this even if they are not 'sticking their fingers down their throat' eating disorders are a witch hunt against women though men comprise 30%

    everyone gets shamed for having problems. its just men get shamed when they have one. women are shamed regardless. when you have a problem you get shamed for acting like a woman. that is what a weak man is considered to be-a woman. a weak woman is just taken for granted as a woman. ( your economic status ethnicity age plays a role in all of this but in generalities, which is how you are speaking) to be a woman is shameful. this is why calling a guy a girl is such a strong insult and men are not called boys but w omen are called girls. there's more against homosexuals than lesbians bc god forbid a guy be anything like a woman in any way.'shameful'.

    its interesting you say you wish women knew stuff but the insist they an never understand and the example you give is to contrast what women an not understand about men with what you understand about women.

    i was not reading this trying to be unsympathetic. i just think the moment you try to explain how men have problems that women can not imagine is the moment you shut your eyes to what humans actually go through.

    i agree with all your points in that peoples as a whole needs are not being met and instead they are shamed for being human. its only going to work against society. so much despair anger rage... its not healthy and only going to cause problems. its in the interest of culture at large to make sure the members of society are taken care of. otherwise you dont have progress you have disaster. this is not solved bc the average woman 'gets' the average guy. the average guy in any culture has more power than the average women, though the average person has very little power.

  • Well... can't say I agree with all of these, but most do ring true, and it's completely unfair! Society has hurt everyone - and men are no exception to it.

    P. S. I only disagree with men being sexually worthless... Others are generally true (all the details may be subjective but the general notion holds up).

    • Have you ever seen a girl ask a guy out? Have you ever seen a less than perfect guy get a yes from most girls, or did he just get lucky with one or two? Girls are the fairer sex. They can be a 5/10 and still get a handsome guy at a bar just by catching his attention until he walks over and asks her.

    • @iCroissant Yes and yes. Have seen it and done it. I'm not saying women are generally prettier than men - that's obvious, I'm saying men aren't worthless...

    • Oh. Wish I lived where you lived 😂

    • Show All
  • While I disagree on *some* points, I must say, you worked hard for this take :o

  • I stopped reading at "Female promiscuity on the other hand? It is often glamorized and portrayed in a positive manner" lmao RIGHT, try again?

    • Sex and the City?

  • I was just thinking the other day of what if I was bombarded with sexualized images of men all the time too :/ I would feel really uncomfortable... but the media has no limits, they exploit each sexes strongest vulrenablites, for girls or looks, and for men their sexuality (Maybe I worded that wrong, but yeah.)

    I think you're issues are important, and thanks for writing the take. Very interesting.

  • This is extremely sad that most dudes are treated like this one in either all of the points or just some. Same with dudes that play with video games, most chick wills get an idea that he's obsessed with playing and is probably a loser. Which is dumb because I know a lot of dudes that play video games aren't losers and even are in some kind of engineering.

  • Do you really think your libido is as bad as periods?
    Do you wish you had a lower libido?

    • Periods are bad, but being stabbed in the gut is worse and guys are expected to take that. lol.

    • @GreatnessBack Uh, yeah, we expect all guys to get stabbed in the gut every month, survive, and go on with their daily lives as normal despite having a huge hole in their side. Sure. I'm sorry, what reality are you from?

  • But no periods every month though so that's a +.

    • Or childbirth, or menopause. Or lots of people we're not attracted to chasing us. Or female peer pressure/societal judgement. We do have some things to be thankful for, being male.

    • @tbm1986 -Ah men can have lots of people they aren't attracted to chasing you. -Men have peer pressure from males - Men have social judgement too.

  • Gorgeous take.

    Recently I refused to hook up with a girl who was decent looking for two reasons: (1) I have a girlfriend and (2) I just wouldn't want to hook up with her regardless of my relationship status.

    She started calling me a prude and a racist (we are both white ironically). I could not believe my eyes... I am a tall lean educated white guy and yet I have been rejected at least 100 times in my life... so to see some girl get so butthurt over the slightest rejection makes me realize the level of immaturity present in today's society.

    What's worse though is that it's literally a no-win: (A) I don't hook up with this girl and get shamed or (B) I hook up with this girl and get labelled a cheater or misogynist...

    And this folks is why I don't take my relationships seriously and why I don't plan on marrying or having kids.

    • It's not that girls don't get rejected. It's that we get rejected but the guys who reject us will still have sex with us (and that's it, of course). Even if a guy doesn't like you at all he will probably still have sex with you. And so that's what we're taught and what we're used to. So when a guy doesn't wanna have sex, it's like wow what's wrong with this one? My point is we deal with rejection just as much as guys do just in a different way.

  • Nice take! This makes me feel bad for guys :(
    Question, were you near to the character limit? SO much text lol.

  • I'm normally the dramatic one with all this kind of thing but you have managed to give a comprehensive account of what I slightly more conservatively spout when nobody's listening (which is all the time). Well done, sir.

    I refuse to accept my lot and do sometimes tell people how I feel or disagree with women. I sometimes visit professionals and strip clubs when I'm not in a relationship. If nobody wanting me isn't meant to be personal, then I shouldn't have to endure forced celibacy. They tell me I'm a gentleman to them, so I can keep my head held high there.

    My experience is that there is now some sympathy there and the girls not persuaded by the men-hating feminist argument do tolerate and allow for men being men. Unfortunately, I now have an Australian boss. He utters the rhetoric of "man up" several times a week to all of us.

  • Stop claiming to speak for all men. I for one isn't horny akin to a heroin addict, i like having sex but i have dated a woman that was much more horny and wanted to have sex 3 times a day. I think the problem is more the opposite of what your saying, there is a stereotype that all men are horny all the time and if they are fine with having sex 2-3 times a week then they aren't a man.

  • Interesting read it opened my eyes up

  • Well done. :)

  • Good Take! Although articles like this are the reason I often feel worse after coming on GAG. Lol.

    Statistically, the saddest time in a guy's life is young adulthood, and you are writing from that vantage point. You have yet to see the hot girls around you age to the point of no longer seeming attractive anymore (it will happen). You have yet to acquire significant resources or establish an attractive career which can take years.

    So life gets better over time for guys and won't always be as bleak as it seems now. For instance, #6 isn't that bad once your hormones stabilize, in fact many guys at some point try therapy or supplements to get their drive back up to what it was in their youth because they actually miss it. Low sex drive is a common side-effect of antidepressants. You'd think guys would be lining up for these antidepressants if male sex drive was really so horrible. But honestly, once guys experience this side-effect, they see how undesirable it is. Also, men who've lost sexual functioning due to paralysis below the waist say they'd rather have their sexuality back than be able to walk again! So your sex drive may seem inconvenient and excessive right now but you'd miss it if it were gone.

    And there probably is a sexual "middle-class" for guys. I know this because my friends and brother got married and they certainly aren't "Chad Thundercock" types. Girls who want a fling or one-night-stand go for the Chad Thundercocks, but those who want long-term relationship and marriage know on some level that Chad Thundercock can't be trusted.

    If you compare yourself to girls your age, you'll always come up short. Females tend to be happiest in young adulthood, but then their happiness slowly declines until it drops below men's in the late 40s. So yeah, I agree with your Take that modern life sucks for guys. But hopefully it won't suck to the same degree your whole life. Your best days are still ahead of you, whereas girls are burning through theirs right now and don't even know it.

    • Hence the 'nuclear' option, which I was not able to explain because I ran out of space. Whereas men age like wine, women age like flowers. Thus, if a man is really desperate, he can just wait until women become older and start to become more desperate themselves for marriage and kids. It is about accepting the fact that time is on our side, and eventually women will be at the disadvantage while we will be the advantaged one.

    • So the "nuclear option" is marrying a women in her 30s? Lol! I thought it would be hiring hookers or suicide. Desperation doesn't look good on anyone. If you are doing things out of desperation, it will show. I'm just learning now that you can be happy with your life as it is and to see yourself as a whole person instead of feeling "incomplete" because you are single. Reaching this point will also make you more attractive when or if the right person ever comes along -- as well as harder to manipulate since you know you can survive just fine on your own and are willing to walk away from a bad deal. It's a cruel irony of life that those who need relationships the most tend to drive people away. People are most attracted to those who don't need them.

  • Show More (49)