Why Are Promiscuous Women Looked Down Upon?

[JulieXO]

In today's society, casual sex is something perfectly normal. Yet I feel like women who admit to having many sexual encounters with various men are looked down upon. This myTake is inspired by some of the answers to this question: https://www.girlsaskguys.com/sexual-behavior/q2158014-men-of-gag-your-23-year-old-girlfriend-just-confessed-she-has-had

When men have a lot of sexual experience, they tend to take pride in it. They boast about it.They are seen as players, studs and womanizers, which are all rather positive descriptors. However, when a woman behaves in this way, she will be labeled as slutty, dirty, easy and unworthy. Many guys will not consider her to be girlfriend-material, just because she engaged in casual sex in the past. So what if she's slept with more people than you, it doesn't mean that she has an STD and that she is unworthy of your glorious penis. If anything, she has experience and knows what she's doing. I myself had 7 sexual partners and I'm 19. Never had an STD and I'm as tight as ever. At least I learned how to suck dick in the process, I see that as a plus.

It is quite hypocritical, if you ask me, to want a lot of one night stands but bash the women who do the same thing. Also, how do you expect to get girls to sleep with you if they feel like it will make them feel unwanted in the future? Sex is a part of our everyday lives, I don't see why it should be so taboo for women to enjoy it casually.

The lock and key analogy might be a counterargument. A key that can open every lock is a master key, but a lock that's opened by every key is a shit lock. (If you don't get it, the keys represent the men and the locks represent the women). It is quite a clever metaphor, but here's why it's bullshit: we are humans, not pieces of metal. Women who let "a lot of keys open their locks" aren't "shit locks", they simply enjoy the feeling of a key inside them; what's so bad about that?

Bear in mind that this is just my opinion on the matter. I know a large part of the G@G community values virginity above all and want's to keep it for the person they marry, which is perfectly fine. However, I don't see a reason why a woman should refrain from something as enjoyable as sex, especially if it's only to be deemed worthy by men. I by no means meant to offend anyone and I'm sorry if I did so :)

[JRICHARDS1996]

Oh cry me a river, this is just more feminist whining about how you want the best of both worlds. You want to be able to make whatever choices you want, yet at the same time you want to force to accept them and grant you the honor traditionally afforded to a good and chaste woman.

Sluts are looked down upon because promiscuity itself is a bad thing. Sex is not a carnal, hedonistic thing, but an inherently life giving and unifying experience. This is proven by the fact that everyone remembers their first time, even if they do not remember the 10th or 20th time.

Thus someone who chooses to be promiscuous demonstrates a moral shortcoming, and poor character. Hence why they are frowned upon, and no man wants to marry or commit to one.

About the only good point you made is that it is hypocritical for men to condemn sluts while at the same time sleeping with them.

This I agree with.

I oppose promiscuity equally across both genders. Both are detestable and this system of sexual immorality is responsible for all of the problems we face today. I condemn men who see prostitutes and I condemn loose women who sleep around.

However, what you don't seem to realize is that only the top 10-20% of men are actually like this. The vast majority of men - high 80% - are virgins and/or will only have one or a few partners throughout their entire life.

This leads to the virgin shaming that the vast majority of men struggle with.

So your problem is not with men, but with the top 10-20% of men and the nigh 90% of slutty women who throw themselves at them pussy first, including yourself.

[JulieXO]

I guess or opinion on casual sex differs and that's okay. I don't see why I should be seen as less of a woman because I've had more than one sex partner. I wasn't trying to come off as a feminazi, I just wanted to say that I don't think promiscuity is necessarily a bad thing.

[JRICHARDS1996]

Well I think promiscuity is a bad thing all across the board, for men and women. And like any bad choice, it does reflect poor moral character and is therefore unattractive. I still believe in traditional roles and morality, which I try to hold myself to. I only want a woman who does and believes in the same.

[Maik567]

You really said it absolutely perfectly. I think the hypocrisy some of these people have is just ridiculous, they want to be able to be promiscuous and fuck around as much as they want, but they don't men to be able to decide that they are not dating/marriage material based on that. If you want the freedom to make your choices like that then don't complain about men having the freedom to decide that they don't want to date someone who sleeps around.

[19magic]

The only thing I can say to that is my first time is barely remembered, whereas my second time I'll remember for life

[Badballie]

If women hold sex as their right to sleep around fuck and dump, how are you going to trust her in any relationship? A past friend of my sisters brought her boyfriend home with a friend and his girlfriend, is quite friendly, the girlfriend was a pump and dump artist started hitting on me. She is with her boyfriend in my house and makes a move on me. I would not do her with a sterlised dock yard crane. Ladies let the man woo you want it so bad that's all he thinks about, just keep encouraging to keep the interest going, just a touch and a feel, to drive him crazy. For men, the hunt is part of it all. I can tell you my wife has had 3 sexual partners. Committed loyal keeps herself into condition, former beauty queen Drummies model and more. I have been with 5 women throughout my entire life. Been married 20 years and the sex still gets better. Pump and DUMP would have cheated on me by now. Sorry, all you feminist who want to go whoring and fuck everyone in your state. By then you will have to go to surgery to tighten your vagina, to get any further interest. LOOSE VAGINA SUCKS.

[SovereignessofVamps]

So... don't say anything if you don't want to... Otherwise I think guys who bash usually have way less experience in bed. If they had more, they wouldn't be jelly and would know better than to say those things to other people. Like they'd know better than to make themselves be less appealing to women, by insulting other women.

[Idonthaveausername]

I lived next-door to a manwhore last year (we'll call him D) who dated M, A, B, and S, and had casual sex with Tr and Th during that year. He ended up with S at the end of it all. He really liked her and she really liked him, but she had slept with three of his friends, including his drug dealer. Sometimes he called her a slut to her face and she came crying over to my apartment when they got into fights. D called all of them sluts behind their backs when it was just me and him hanging out or with other guys. I got a good look into the "bro" world living next-door to him. He likes 18-19 year old girls to have sex with them, but he doesn't respect them if they're sluts. He also doesn't respect strippers or prostitutes because they give it away too willingly. And he was genuinely a nice guy--I met his friends...

I'm not slut shaming. This is a real experience. B told me she wished she'd could be more like me, said she wished she'd never had sex or done drugs, and I convinced her to break up with him and go back to college. M used to have her friend spy on us because she didn't trust him either. A was insane and beat up B in his living room. He called them all sluts behind their backs and got extremely depressed when they all left him. Sleeping around is not healthy for either party.

[bailey11]

He doesn't sound like a genuinely nice guy to me. Nice/good guys don't accept whatever a woman offers him and then trash-talks about her behind her back.

[btbc92]

Both men and women needs to learn to refrain and have self control. Its the male community that prides in themselves and others who follow suit, and the ones who don't are considered losers. But its a major double standard amongst women. Where one can be slutty, but not too slutty. Its like where is the line drawn? I would never consider dating a manwhore and a guy prides in sleeping around, no matter if in relationships or no relationships.

Men if anything seek a 'changed' woman. A woman who may not be a virgin anymore. But desires to change, commit and even better abstain from sex till marriage. Then a promiscuous women who seduces [deceive] and drag a man down to hell with her. It has been hysterically proven again and again, promiscuous ways are not only wrong, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically damaging! When physically, STDs comes into the picture, unwanted pregnancies happen, Infertility may become indefinitely, and its less like she will be married, or stay married.

www.yahoo.com/.../...s-divorce-risk-144722762.html
socialpathology.blogspot.com.au/.../...t-post.html
family-studies.org/.../

Men and some smart women don't want to take risk either. Sex is a binding and blood contract. The more partners the less likely the bond will stick, and promotes infidelity during relationships and marriages. This is also another reason why most men don't want to get married. Let alone commit to you. A promiscuous woman not favorable. Also what are you going to teach your children if you end up having them? That's okay to sleep around? With no respect for oneself or responsibility? This is why we have so much baby mamma and baby daddy dram, fighting and dysfunctional families with selfish people.

Sex should be held for marriage. Especially in young marriages. But we can't tell people what to do. But I will say like my great grandfather and grandmother would say: you make the bed hard, you lay in it. People will reap what they sowed. And it has to come at some point in your lives.

[btbc92]

Than a promiscuous woman*

[Sabretooth]

i've had debates with women pretty much stating that us men have to control everything they do because they have no control over themselves.

[sailaway]

My country is pretty chill when it comes to sleeping around so I don't think we have much of an issue. My friends always congratulate each other when someone gets some dick haha. However, it's when they don't look after themselves which is something I don't respect. Not being careful is stupid and being unhygienic is just gross. Also, when they come back with regret because they were drunk is also something I don't look up to and it shouldn't be something to be proud of. Overall, I personally do not sleep around because of those reasons and I think both genders should be less promiscuous and it would make sex a lot safer.

[xxmamichulaxx]

Most people don't look down on someone for having sex with lots of different people , that said , most men wouldn't want to date a woman who has slept with every guy in town and most women don't want to date a man whos gotten around either. There's a difference between shaming a woman who is promiscuous and not wanting a relationship with her

[Bvroon]

I agree, I have never thought the double standard was or is fair. If women want to play the field, then more power to them. The only thing I would advocate in regards to this activity for both men and women is practicing safe sex in the sense there are no unwanted pregnancies and no transmission of STD's if this is covered (pun intended ;-) ) and all activities are consensual, then let the good times roll.

[Rawrzz]

It's really not hypocritical. Men and women desire different things. Women desire non-virgin males, because they have proven they have value to other women--sex is high risk for women; if they risk sex, it means the male has value if she risked for him. Thus, women seek experienced men.

And male virgins are shamed because of it--something you seem to entirely miss with your woe-is-me pinhole-perception, restricted to women: not taking the similar factor into consideration for males. It's based off what each gender desires. I wouldn't say men always want virgins, but they like virgins a lot more than where 1,000 dicks have been.

I really don't care where people put their genitals. I am simply speaking if what *is*.

Further, there is an instinctual reason women are shamed for fucking around. Eggs. 20,000 year old human instinct is not aware there are 7 billion of us. To human instinct, we are in danger of extinction---population is a dire necessity. Meaning widespread use of sperm and very careful consideration of where to spend eggs = maximum quality population. If a woman is careless with her eggs, it is viewed on a *biological level* as a crime against humanity. Likewise, men are supposed to use as much of their near-worthless resource as possible, otherwise they are not aiding human population.

Thus, men are players and women are sluts. Sluts are shamed; virgin males are shamed.

Shit. I'm not even a virgin, and I've been shamed for "only" sleeping with 8 women total.

Male virgins, however, are not as much of a big deal, because sperm is effectively infinite. Eggs are not. Thus, "slut" has more weight than "male virgin", as an insult. This also translates to social value: women and children first. Making males disposable, unless they have shown they're worth more to society alive than dead.

I. e.
10 women 1 man = 10 babies
10 men, 1 woman = 1 baby

One gender is more valuable than the other.

So, perhaps you won't care so much about being called a slut when your house is on fire, and your father or brother or husband or all 3 die in the process of geting you out alive.

Life isn't fair. Adapt to it.

[lumos]

Not to mention that that lock/key analogy doesn't make any sense. A pencil sharpener that can sharpen many pencils is a good sharpener. A pen that's been sharpened too much is useless. So yeah, let's not compare men and women to objects because that doesn't make any sense, and you could switch the objects to something else to change the meaning entirely.
I only get this sort of mindset if you want your partner to *match* your level of experience, because you want to feel like you're equally inexperienced (or experienced). However, I don't get this sort of mindset when it's hypocritical, a double standard. You have no right to call anyone a slut or a whore if you yourself have slept around. And even if you haven't slept around... why even call anyone anything rude? You don't have to bash someone just because they want different things than you. Ok if you don't want to have sex with someone who has a lot more experience than you, but is it REALLY necessary to be all antagonistic and immature? No. So stfu and move on, what someone else decides to do/not do in the bedroom doesn't concern you and any type of bullying just makes you look immature and petty af.

[JulieXO]

I love what you said about the pencil and sharpener, haven't though of that myself :)

[Scrambledagain]

That is so lame. The key analogy is brilliant and exactly how it goes. The ancient Greeks used analogies like this to put principles on the table for debate. So it's not stupid to compare it to objects. This form of argument is common in philosophy. Bottom line, it's easy (choice) for a woman to get sex, it's an achievement for a guy. The best analogy for this and its implications is the key one. The pencil sharpener means nothing. Nobody loses their dick lol

[lumos]

@Scrambledagain blah blah blah. Your justification sucks. People are still not objects and comparing people to objects just to make some sexist point only makes you look insanely ignorant. Did I say anything about losing your dick? No, I said it becomes *useless*. You could interpret that in many ways; maybe a guy becomes less special the more he has sex with others, maybe we could also make up some bullshit theory about the dick becoming less and less hard the more a guy has sex. COUGH COUGH. Men have sex with everything that moves, I don't see that as some sort of "achievement". Byyyeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[CristopherC]

It is completely natural for promiscuous men and women to be viewed as less than ideal relationship partners by members of the opposite (or same) sex. Promiscuous individuals are seen as more likely to be unfaithful, but probably better in bed because of the experience. There is merit to both of these assumptions, though there are exceptions to every "rule".

The question was "Why are promiscuous women looked down upon?" and this is actually a pretty complex question.

Perhaps it has evolutionary roots, as do many things we don't fully understand about our behavior. With many different species, their success depends on males spreading their genes as often as they can and females taking care of the young to make sure they themselves survive old enough for reproduction. This isn't just the way it works with distant relatives, but that's how it works with many of the closest relatives we have on the planet.

That's not to say we should model our society after that. IMHO, we should all be more like the bonobos, promiscuous, resolving conflicts with sexual activity rather than violence and working together as a group to take care of one another. But still, I think we can look towards the sociosexual behavior of other animals to get clues about why we behave a certain way and view things as we do.

[Daniela1982]

You mean the cum dumpsters that are breeding grounds for STD's, HIV, and who have charge accounts at Abortion R Us? I have no idea.

[ThatJarHead]

Well there's a few things wrong with this but all and all good take.

1: you seem to not really know what men congratulate each other on. Sure we share sexual history but it's not something guys typically boast about once we are over 20. At least most "men" keep such things to themselves.

2: I've had a total of 18 sexual partners. Not a single one of them casual. I very seriously and strictly disagree that anyone should participate in casual sex. I think it's immoral and wrong. Though I don't believe you should wait for marriage. I think that sex should be an expression of love and affection not a way for people to entertain themselves.

3: people don't congratulate women on having lots of bed partners because women don't have to try all that hard to get them. If men are congratulated it's because bedding a woman without making emotional and monetary investment is a feat.

4: Most of the people who "slut shame" are other girls.

5: Sex should be taboo. It shouldn't we go around advertising. It's something that should only ever happen between two persons over 18 behind closed doors. And it should stay behind closed doors.

6: most people who are adults don't care about how many partners you've had. They just care that you're disease free.

7: offence is taken not given. You're seeing a problem where there is none. You're seeing this problem because you're looking for it.

All and all it was a well written take and I appreciate you clarifying that it was only your opinion and you weren't trying to enforce anything. Those points above are what I see the situation as and maybe they are some things you didn't consider or maybe I have a unique to most. Have a good day! And good take :)

[TylerKuykendall]

How would you define 'casual sex'?

[Kuqezi]

18 partners and not one of them casual, that's hard to believe. Liked all your points by the way

[ThatJarHead]

@TylerKuykendall Sex outside of a relationship

[ThatJarHead]

@Kuqezi I didn't say I was with each girl for a year at a time lol

[Kuqezi]

You dated 18 people, damn. I've only dated 1 but my number is higher than 18 though

[ThatJarHead]

@Kuqezi Well I date lots of women. If it doesn't stick i move along.

[Lliam]

Good take, Julie. I agree with you.

I think it's fine for a woman to save herself for her one and only man, her first husband. There is a certain romance to the idea. Although it's a crap shoot as to whether or not a young woman's first marriage will be happy in the long run.

I once knew an Iranian guy who married a young Iranian virgin who had very traditional values. She worked hard to be the perfect traditional wife. A short while after the marriage, the guy expressed disgust with his wife. He didn't explain why. But he wound up rejecting her. Because of her culture, the divorce was considered to be her fault, plus she was considered spoiled goods. It must have destroyed her. She didn't have any children or husband, and she was no longer a virgin.
I use this story to illustrate why the obsession with virginity can be so destructive.

Speaking for myself, though, I never had a fetish for virgins. I didn't want to get married until I was older and more financially established, and had gained more wisdom through life experience. I wasn't even interested in having kids, although the idea of perpetuating the family name did have appeal. Regardless, I thought girls were awesome and WAS interested in sex.

I was extremely grateful for "the pill" and for women who used it or other contraceptive measures. They were no longer trapped by the fear of unwanted pregnancy. They could satisfy their sexual desires just as men had always done. Bravo égalité! When I was a kid, it was a revelation to discover that women had the exact same sexual urges as men. Wow, who woulda thunk?
I celebrate sexually active, liberated women.

My wife and I have watched several episodes of the Netflix series, Jane the Virgin. Early on, there was a flashback to her as a little girl. Her abuela gave her a beautiful flower and then told her to crush it. Once she had done so, she told her to make it whole again. The analogy was clear. Her vagina was like a perfect, unspoiled flower. Sex would destroy it forever.
What a silly metaphor. Sex doesn't spoil a vagina. If it did, then it would only be good for one-time use. But that is not the case, is it?

I never had sex with a virgin. But all my girlfriend's vaginas were beautiful, sensitive, fully functional and not in any way "spoiled".

None of my girlfriends were what I would call promiscuous. They were eager to engage in sex but they wanted relationships, not multiple hook-ups or one night stands. We always had monogamous relationships that lasted anywhere from a few months to over a year. In my younger years, I was always the one who eventually wanted to move on because I didn't want to get locked into marriage and I wanted to experience more of life. But those girls always moved on with their lives, too. It wasn't the end of the world. Everyone wound up getting married sooner or later.

I'm ambivalent about people (men or women) who engage in serial one night stands. I'm not sure what motivates them to do so. I suspect that they suffer from some form of maladjustment but who am I to judge. I just think the practice is unhealthy and dangerous. It seems to indicate an inability to connect with people or value others. Simply using others for personal gratification may indicate sociopathy. I doubt if such people can be trusted. I certainly don't judge women who engage in such behavior more harshly than I do men. But what others do is not my problem and, hey, I might be wrong.

Overall, I believe in enjoying life to the fullest while one can. You never know what's going to happen and may regret not having lived. Postponing life until perfect circumstances arise doesn't make sense to me. One could wind up waiting forever. It's like having the image of a fairy tale in your mind and waiting for it to come true. Life isn't a fairy tale. It must be seized. And here's a news flash, life has it's ups and downs. Perfection doesn't exist.

[Lliam]

After rereading, I'm not sure if I directly answered the original question. "Why are promiscuous women looked down upon?" This implies "As opposed to promiscuous men." I think it is because, since the dawn of civilization, societies were patriarchal. Women were thought of as subservient to men. They were literally dependent on men for survival. A woman's role was to get married, have children and stay at home to care for her husband and children. In that role, she was owned by her husband. Men went out into the world to work. They were the income earners and controlled the family finances. Therefore, they had opportunity to go to bars, brothels, hook up, have affairs or even support mistresses. But women who were unfaithful to their husbands were vulnerable to divorce, financial ruin and social ostracism. The same was true for unmarried women who did not remain virgin. People today who subscribe to traditional religions still think that way. There are no words in our language for unfaithful or promiscuous men. On the contrary, men are praised for their "conquests" and their virility. But the opposite is true for woman. There are many pejoratives to describe sexually active women. The women's liberation movement only got started 60 or so years ago. Once the pill and other contraceptive methods became available to them, they could control their own bodies. But a few decades hasn't been enough time to undo millennia of social engineering. I'm not sure if society in general will ever escape the deep seated impulse to judge women differently than men. But at least we are making legal progress toward equal rights for women. Those laws are also an indication that the attitudes of at least some people are evolving. And at least women now have the right to do what they want without fear of being stoned to death, suffering financial ruin, or being completely ostracized by society.

[NightFlirt]

Society is full of double standards. I AM A WHORE!! and Damn proud of it. Fuck what society thinks of me.

[hellionthesagereborn]

The reason is because it takes very little effort on a womans part to be promiscuis for one, women are sought after men are not so a man who gets a lot of sex must be incredibly desirable a woman who gets a lot of sex however has low standards since its easier for her to acquire and this is probably why men "take pride in" their number though I personally have not seen this or heard it except maybe in highschool. The reason why men look down on promiscuis women is because they are not long term mate material. The fact is women have the same kinds of standards merely reversed a woman will lower her standards for a long term partner but raise them for a short term one, isn't that equally hypocritical that they will put out for a high status male but make a the long term partner who would actually dedicate his resources to her jump through hoops before putting out despite the fact that he is willing to stay while the other man is not? Same thing. The reason why promiscuis women are not good wife material is, first and foremost, because paternity cannot be assured, he doesn't know if its his kid or some one elses and considering the significant time and resources dedicated to child rearing that's a big deficit, especially when you consider its time and resources going to ensuring the survival of some one elses genes. Then of course you have the other issues like the fact that the more partners a woman has the more likely she is to get divorced (1% with one partner, 16% with two etc.) the higher her probability of cheating on him (never desirable) as those who score in the upper half of the sociosexually unrestricted scale (those who view sex casually) have a much higher rate of cheating and divorce (50% when you get higher on the scale). Then of course their is the issue of simply being unhappy within the confines of a long term relationship which increases with partner count. So all of this makes a woman a liability as a long term partner if she is promiscuis compared to a woman who is not. Just because sex is enjoyable doesn't mean their are no consequences for it, their is a reason its enjoyable, we don't feel pleasure simply because its nice, it serves a purpose. And no, that purpose is not to induce reproduction, at least not entirely as many species manage to reproduce even though its painful and damaging (such as the weavel which every time it reproduces its birthing canal gets scarred reducing fertility).

[hellionthesagereborn]

Sex releases hormones like oxytocin which among other things helps create emotional connections, this causes a person to get attached to people they have sex with, its potent in women, less so with men (not that it has no affect mind you) which is probably why men seem to be more likely to be okay with casual sex then women. However this also is a feel good hormone so it is frequently exploited along with the pleasure as alcohol would be hence a poor relationship with a father or early child hood sexual trauma being predicators of promiscuity in women. In fact some have gone as far to say that its a form of self harm. The issue isn't that we should be allowed to indulge our impulses at whim but rather that we should all learn to restrain them and apply them when appropriate. The reason males are more prone to promiscuity is because sex was dangerous for women not for men, so it functioned as a driving force to get them to take more chances to get a chance to reproduce,

[hellionthesagereborn]

not to get them to have a lot of sex. Now that pregnancy and potential abandonment are not issues any more thanks to technology and laws women no longer have this reigning in their promiscuity but biologically they are still wired to avoid it hence it being so damaging to them comparative to men. As for men, again their sexuality was meant more for encouragement not for rampant indulgence. Think sugars and fats, these are high energy foods good for survival but they where rare which is why we crave them, to get us to seek them out and to eat them when the opportunity grants itself. However now that we have figured out how to mass produce them what has happened? The thing that was beneficial is now harming us, we crave it but we can fulfill that craving when ever we want and thus do. This leads to diabetes and heart disease and obesity all things that where non issues before because the rarity of it kept it in check. Sex is much the same way. Its not a moral issue, is a health one.

[IceCubedude]

Savage as fk lol, you destroyed her and everyone who even ever thought about thinking about starting an argument about this subject, honestly you explained it pretty well.

[JulieXO]

So you are saying that having a lot of sex is basically substance abuse, and women who indulge in it are likely to be mentally ill? I'm not sure if I understood it correctly, that's why I'm asking. Also I don't see how sex is harmful.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@IceCubedude Thank you.

[hellionthesagereborn]

What I am saying is that multiple studies show that the more sexual partners a person has, the worse off they tend to be. If she has a bad relationship with her father it is an indicator that she will be more likely to be promisciuous then a woman whith a good relationship with her father. I would not use the term mentally ill that implies something neurologically wrong, this is psycological, its a coping mechanism. Some people drink, some become shut ins and some use sex in order to cope with stress and emotional issues. Sex is not bad, you have to think about it in context. Sugars and fatty foods are not bad, your body needs both to live but if you over indulge then you are forcing more of these substances into your body then your body is built to handle causing damage to it. Its about balance. Sex is something that is good in moderation however the more you do, specifically the more people you do it with, the more damaging it becomes, it essentially prevents you from having a normal

[hellionthesagereborn]

Its about moderation and circumstance, sex itself isn't bad and thats the wrong way of looking at it, having a beer isn't bad drinking until you black out every night however is. Their is the difference, moderation.
s3.amazonaws.com/.../Bookofcharts.pdf
socialpathology.blogspot.com/.../...uest-post.html
socialpathology.blogspot.com/.../...uity-data.html
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/.../nihms499028.pdf

[hellionthesagereborn]

Prior to modern medicine what would have happened to a promisicious woman? She would have carried a child, almost certainly, for nine months, that's nine months of increased food consumption but decreased mobility and a greater hindrance preventing the acquisition of those food resources. It would have also reduced her ability to flee from predators or to defend herself. That's a long time to be vulnerable, then you have the many years of dependency of the child doing the exact same thing so where talking about being in a vulnerable state (that is if you don't die from giving birth to begin with) for many years all for one brief fling. That's not advantageous. So women are not really built to be promiscuis biologically, hence the negative consequences and the psychological toll it inevitably takes.

[oneleggedwonder]

Casual sex is not for me. Why? I am 51, I have been there, done that. I always thought I would enjoy a lifestyle like that, but i did not. It felt somewhat lonely to engage in sex with a woman who would leave and you might not see her again for a month. Promiscuous woman are looked down upon because men have this notion they want to marry a woman who has been with the least amount of women. By the time a man reaches my age, he has to change his views somewhat, because at some point, every man and woman has a history. When two people meet, they have to plan their life forward, without looking back. Its only a drama creator. Just my humble opinion.

[OlderAndWiser]

Your beliefs are premised on the assumption that casual sex is acceptable and there should not be a double standard that says "okay" for men but not for women. I agree that there should not be a double standard but I don't condone a societal laissez-faire attitude about casual sex. I think it has undesirable consequences for the strength and survival of our culture.

[madhatters4]

because there are still lingering beliefs that women need to me sexually chaste and pure and that a woman who is promiscuous has less value as a long term partner.

it just stems from antiquated beliefs of a male dominated society. BUT the perceptions are constantly changing

[Curmudgeon]

You must understand: it is the locksmithing analogy.

A "skeleton key" that can open many different locks is prized.

A "super lock" that is not easy to pry open is also prized.

Men are the keys, women the locks.

That may not be fair, but that is rational.

[Flamdring]

Being with a woman who had multiple sexual experiences is a far more rewarding experience than with someone who had none. However, there is a difference between a slutty person who can be a man or woman, and someone who had many sexual encounters. Slutty person usually acts like a total moron, brags about how many people (s) he slept with, and genuinely behaves in a very unappealing way no matter what clothes they wear.

As we age, the vast majority of us stop caring about how many sexual partners our girlfriend or boyfriend had before us. I certainly do not care, but I would always take someone who had sex over a virgin. However, I think when we are teenagers or in our early 20s, many of us have this sensation that it would be great to meet the love of our life, lose virginity together and live happily ever after. I lost my virginity to an escort girl who was a few years older than me, but probably had hundreds of men before me. It was the most amazing experience ever! I was shaking and had tingling sensation in all the places where she kissed and touched me for about 24 hours afterwards. Several years later it turned out that a girl lied to me when she said she was not a virgin which became obvious when we had sex. I had to teach and guide her through it. Later I tried to imagine how it would have been if my first time had been with another virgin, and I quickly tossed that idea out of my mind. Experience always wins.

[raininthedance09]

Both men and women are shamed.

[somebodysaycheese]

Ok. hold up. Promiscious men are looked down upon. Men who have sex with cisgender men or traswomen are looked down upon. But its not our fault we find men who have same sex realtions unattractive because its biological and it shows a ingrained flaw that women can't over look.
And if men preferred virgins then theyd be dating like a percent of the population. Most men and women aren't virgins. And most virgin women prefer virgin men.
I dont knock men for wanting virgins its a biological trait and we shouldn't shame people for their biology.
But realistically men and women get shit for who they have sex with and how many people they have sex with. That is reality.