Sexual Relationships
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5 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Sometimes we can be unaware of the signs of being in a relationship that is unhealthy, so here are 5 of the biggest signals that the person you're dating is emotionally abusing you.

5 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

1. His/Her reaction to a bad situation is always more scary than the situation itself

So something went wrong: you crashed the car or maybe you lost your keys - something happened and now you’re afraid to tell him/her because their reaction is going to be worse than replacing that key, or fixing the bumper. If their reaction is that of anger rather than sympathy, you're in an abusive relationship.

5 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship


2. He/She is in full control of your money/finances

Financial abuse is a way to keep someone trapped. If you have to hide money, or keep money a secret from your signifcant other or you have no access to your own money or any money at all and they hold all the cards and bank details, you’re being financially abused - making escape that much more difficult.

5 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

3. He/She isolates you from your friends and family

Emotional abusers will never admit to their abuse but they know exactly what they’re doing. In isolating you from your friends/family, they’re taking away your support net. If they won’t let you go out without them, if they make sure your friends won’t want to see you or your family can’t call - they are cutting you off from your support net and any chance of escape. If he/she dictates who you can talk to and when, if you feel like your friends are no longer making the effort to speak to you and if your only friend is your significant other - you are being controlled.

5 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

4. He/She makes you sexually uncomfortable

If you have to be coerced, forced or cajoled into foreplay or sex, if you are made to feel guilty for not wanting to have sex or feel like you have to have sex to make your significant other happy, you are being emotionally and sexually abused.

5 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

5. He/She makes you fear leaving him/her

If you fear leaving because you will suffer being physically assualted, your partner is an abuser. If you fear leaving because you believe you cannot live without them, you cannot cope without them, they do everything for you, you have nowhere to go and you are worthless without them - this is emotional abuse. This is not love.

5 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

This is not love. Get out, get help, be safe.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a very good post.
    Honestly, is screwed up that people don't realize they are in an emotionally abusive relationship and that they need someone to tell them the signs oftentimes before they realize it themselves

    • Thanks, it's something I wrote a while ago for an advice blog I help run. It's very screwed that people don't realise but that's part of the abuse, making you believe that it's love.

Most Helpful Girl

  • thanks for sharing , such a good and essential post

    • Thank you for reading :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Great post, Bonnie! :D

    However, I cannot look at any Michael Fassbender clips without thinking of X-Men, even when --- like in this case --- it's not X-Men. xD

    • Thank you :) that's from Jane Eyre, one of my favs!!

    • Aw yeah I figured that was the one, because of his old-timey-looking clothes. ^_^ I think I've seen the "Jane Eyre" with Orson Welles and Joan Fontaine --- or at least parts of it --- but not this newest one yet. :)

    • I love Jane Eyre. The book too. Doesn't matter who plays Rochester, he's still my fav!

    • Show All

  • I sometimes feel it is me who is the abuser. because of insane jealusy and fear of losing i lie and control the one i love. i make him feel he is nobody without me

    • I think it's healthy to recognise your own unhealthy habits. Nobody is perfect but recognising that you might be a bit abusive is good if you want to do something about it and change. But yes that is abusive. You are the abuser here.

  • Good take on this issue!! in many ways a very bad relationship sometimes the emotional abuse is worser then the physical abuse

    • It can be yeah, especially when you can't spot it easily like you can with physical abuse. Thanks for reading :)

    • No problem 😎 It's also the long term damage mentally to the person being abused emotionally and the lasting effect it has on them People should always leave these relationships but for some reason it's not has simple as that in some cases people choose to say in fear of not finding another relationship and being lonely where being lonely has got to be better then then suffering physically and emotionally in a relationship

    • True it should be but sometimes it feels scarier to be alone. Especially if the abuser makes you feel like you're worthless and unlovable.

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  • Emotional abuse means that you are not emotionally happy whem you are in a relationship with your so. Even when he is not emotionally abusing you and you are not happy and compatible , you should leave the relationship.

    • You're probably right but unhappiness isn't an excuse for abuse.

    • All unhappy partners are not abused , but if anybody is abusive , the matter needs to be reported to authorities as it is a serious crime.

    • Agree with you there!

  • You forgot one point my dear. Checking him, all hers social media accounts, email, phone, etc. Making her feel guilty for whatever she did. Etc

    • True I could have added that but I've noticed lots of people see that as a very normal thing. I don't, however. And the guilting thing comes with part one I think.

    • Checking my personal accounts? No way, it's creepy and abusive as hell. And I do apologise. You're right. Guilty thing is covered in point 1.

    • No i agree with you, I'm not ok with that and I think it's increadiby unhealthy. But lots of people seem to think that's alright and they swap passwords and check up on each other. I really don't approve but lots of people do :/ thanks for reading my take :)

  • bless this post

    • Thank you :) and thank you for reading!

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