I’m here to write my take on giving head.
No, not another few paragraphs giving tips or my two cents on how to give you man oral in a way that he’ll surely enjoy. More like my opinion on the whole aspect of giving head, in general. How I feel it can (and arguably should) play positively into the dynamics of a relationship, that seems to differ from the opinion widely held by many others.
Firstly, I don’t see anything in the least bit shameful in giving head. (Likewise for going down on your partner, though I’m writing from the perspective of a straight female so I’ll stick to the former.)
1. It's gross!
One of the main arguments that I have heard from many, both online as well as from a few friends in rl, regarding why they detest giving head so much that it’s never even considered to be an option with their boyfriend, is that it’s ‘gross’. That- “come on… boys pee out of there. Do you think really think that I’m going to want to put my mouth on that kind of place?”
Well.. yes. That’s true.
Boys do urinate from there. Seeing as how you’re both out of grade-school, though, it could be assumed you’re past the stage of thinking that boys have cooties. Sexual intercourse in whole (not just oral) isn’t overly sanitary; there is some truth behind why it’s called ‘bumping uglies’. With oral sex being an extension of penetrative sex, the presence of tiny bits of not-so-desired things may be a tough pill to swallow. However, all it takes to get juvenile thoughts like that out of your mind would be a slight change of mind-set.
2. It's ever-so 'degrading'
...This seems like a good time refer back to good ole Merriam Webster to see what degradation actually means, as opposed to simply regurgitating ideas that third-wave feminists and prudists alike have shoved into our minds-
Definition of degrade
1a : to lower in grade, rank, or status : demoteb : to strip of rank or honorsc : to lower to an inferior or less effective level <degrade the image quality>d : to scale down in desirability or salability
2a : to bring to low esteem or into disrepute <his actions have degraded his profession>b : to drag down in moral or intellectual character
Sure, baby. Let me take your manhood- your pride and joy, with a side of family jewels, in my mouth. Nestle them right in between my chompers.
...That's degrading? Really now?!
I’ve never looked at giving head to my boyfriend as degrading.
Yes, the woman is usually on her knees, which may be looked at as submissive. As putting the guy in a ‘position of power’.
However, let’s not forget that while I’m giving him head, I’ve got his dick and/or family jewels in my mouth. It may be time to reconsider who’s really in power here, if you insist on looking at intimate acts such as this as a power struggle in the first place.
To me, giving a guy oral is a bit of an act of trust. That he’s willing to put his manhood in such a vulnerable position and not be worried that he’ll leave the room castrated or any less of a ‘man’ (literally).
There’s just so much going on that it can be almost overwhelming. The musky scent, the taste of skin, the texture differences between shaft and head, the noises they make (especially the whimpering and pleading), the absolute control you have over them- the list goes on. In addition to how few things rub your ego quite like having someone stop you because they can’t speak, other than to tell you that you’re the best they’ve ever had.
3. A great way for a bit of a role-reversal
If anything, giving head to a guy is a bit of a power play. Not a power play as in femme/dom territory, or anything taboo like that. I actually have a bit of fun with working some teasing into it. There’s no more enjoyable power-trip, in my eyes, than getting your guy to be actively begging for more. For you to put his entire dick in your mouth versus just licking the shaft, or pleading to go inside of you.
'Power' and submission aside, though, it does bring me genuine (emotional as well as physical) pleasure to be able to do something for my boyfriend that he undoubtedly enjoys to the fullest. Occasionally, we’ll have a session that’s completely lust-driven, where the one thing on our minds is getting to the finish relatively quickly.
Other times, though, I like to slow things down while I’m giving him head. Maybe a bit of teasing, but mostly just taking time to prolong the pleasure he’ll receive. Enough time so that letting my hand taking over for a bit so that I can just watch him and his reactions, from facial expressions to his body/dick tensing up, or balls starting to twitch a bit if he’s particularly close, is not an issue at all.
Take note of how (in what has essentially turned into a bit of a love letter to my boyfriend’s dick) I didn’t mention how I enjoy giving head because it’s a ‘selfless act’.
Sure, it’s something that I can do for him without requiring much in return at the time. Sure, it’s something throughout which he can relax and focus solely on enjoying versus working toward ensuring that I get too much back.
However, let it be known that for myself, at least, it’s a pretty sexually-rewarding act as well. The whole ‘feels’ aspect extends to the physical (as in getting me dripping wet) just about every time.
You want to shame me (in addition to many other girls, I'm sure) for enjoying, getting turned on and even physically amped up for sex afterwards, in cases where the blowjob doesn’t continue to a finish but are more of a warm-up for the main event?
Step right up.
Most Helpful Guy