I Lost My Virginity to a CHEATER!

I Lost My Virginity to a CHEATER!

Looking back, I should have known that things didn't add up. I gave away something that meant a lot to me, to someone who didn't deserve my love...

I grew up in a religious family, that believed that sex should only happen after marriage. By the time I was 24, I still hadn't found anyone that I wanted to pursue a serious relationship with. Until I met Nick. Nick was so easy-going, and romantic and made me feel amazing. Whether it was just watching a movie or just grabbing a burger, it was so fun all the time!

4 months into us dating, I thought I had found the perfect guy. Although he was pushing for sex, I kept my boundary- but when he said he loves me and started talking about marriage, I was hooked. We had sex, and I thought that I would be with Nick for the long run. But that wasn't the case.

Nick and I were sitting at a restaurant one evening, and he left to use the restroom. Regularly he always had his phone on him, but he left it at the table. I watched it vibrate a few times, and my curiosity got the best of me. I scooted the phone closer and saw a preview of a text pop up. "Miss you babe, do u like the pic?". I tried to calm myself down, but there was no stopping me. I grabbed his phone, and started to scroll through the messages. There were pics, sexting, "I love you" exchanged. In fact the messages were as raunchy as before Nick was in my life, as to how they were now.

I could hear Nick walking up to me. I put the phone down and looked up at him. "Whats wrong babe?" he asked. All I wanted to do was wipe that smirk of stupidity off of his face. "Who the h*ll is Vikkie?" my voice trembled. "She's just a crazy stalker, she doesn't even live here- she is always sending me messages". I got up and replied "oh so you tell your stalker that you love her?". Nick jumped up, "why you looking through my phone!". He was more angry that I found out than knowing that he was about to lose me. I walked out and that was it.

I cried for such a long time, that I had given away my virginity to a selfish loser who was stringing me along. It took a lot out of me to get through it. But eventually I did. I can talk about how I regret it, or how skewed my judgement is. But I learned a lesson, and I hope that karma gets him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Damn, sorry to hear that. :-/

    The key is to not take this situation personally, there was NOTHING you can do to make him a monogamous man during your time together.

    With some men, no matter how awesome a woman is... she is JUST ONE WOMAN, and some men seek to have a roster of women instead of one partner.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why do all these anon girls post mytakes about cheaters, and similar things, like mini stories?

    • THANK YOU. It's the same girl writing fake ass stories under anon. This is not a true story.

    • @Blonde401 And she keeps getting featured! It's really obvious it's the same anon to me too.

    • So glad you noticed it too. Yes it really is the same person. The writing style is totally the same and they're always featured. Probably an editor here.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Men are liars. Not all of us... But most of us. Same as women. This is why I tell every girl that will listen NEVER give a guy sex until the honeymoon. If he sticks around that long he may be worth your time!

  • Yea... you and the other 2.5 million other morons that think virginity still has some kinda value.
    I've been "Nick" a lot more times than i would care to admit... you didn't lose your virginity to a cheater... you lost it to a player darling. You got played... live it.. learn it.. know well.
    Look on the bright side... at least now you can have sex with whomever and not worry about "future" shit... just have your fun, then get the hell out. I really believe this was a good thing.
    You were blind before..(and an absolute moron)... Now? you can see.. you see clearly.. you can see that words ain't shit. and holding shit hostage... ain't shit either.

    Honestly in my experience, most girls that hold their virginity hostage have this kinda story because doing that in itself is just stupid. combine that with female relationship mentality (fiction) then yea, thats a whole lotta dumb. Because non-virgins already step over "good" guys... so the virgins who feel like they have the most to prove, still step over good guys and hit up the players then get mad when they are played... you are just another example darling.

    Believe it or not, im happy for you... why? Now you fucking know the game.

  • Grieve, cry... it's in the past and it's gone now.
    leave the cheater and the loser there as well.
    I lost my virginity to an alcoholic abuser who smoked and talked to other girls.. so semi cheated on me.
    Karma will get him don't worry. Just be patient and move forward.

  • that's the problem of getting or jumping into a relationship that quick. when you ask men about chivalry they don't know what is the meaning of that word, yes we are in the 21st century but mostly this thing happen men are just looking for a trophy virgin girlfriend after they get what they want they are looking for a new victim. i hope you learn from this experience, get to know that person first. its better to get to know that person first before getting to know them in bed.

  • If one googles 'what is the percentage of cheaters in relationships'
    the answers range from 50% -78% for both men and women.
    Your feelings and your virginity are not protected by who you love
    nor by what your moral and religious values and convictions are.

    Prepare for disappointment .

    Today women have to evaluate current sexual standards
    with their own sexual needs and activity, and the risks of having
    a sexual partner. Your chances of giving up your virginity to a cheater
    are the same odds as they are for everyone else.

    • just to add . for such a very sad tale of sorrow of cheating and heartbreak, how ironically slutty is the op's picture and the first 2 words of her story.

    • Or maybe she's just trying to mask her pain behind comedy. How would you know with all your assumptions?

    • @electrikrainb0w my comment wasn't an assumption . it was an observation . however you response *is* an assumption .

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  • Trust me, it wasn't your fault you fell for him. A lot of guys are really smooth at playing the game. All he had to do was understand your background, listen to what you like and treat you how you like and that was it. Of course you're going to feel that he was the one because he didn't show you any reasons not to be this way. What pisses me off about this guy, is that now he's fucked your attitude up about men. You're always going to be a little more guarded at a perfectly good person. Even when the person has no intentions as to betray you, you're going to always have that wonder, which is really not fair to that other person, but is a valid feeling of yours coming from shit like this. I'm sorry it's happened to you and I know how it feels on both being hurt and doing the hurt. So, use it as a learning tool as to how it feels to hurt someone from betrayal and go from there. If you look back on it some more and analyze the whole relationship more deeply, you'll probably see that you probably could have picked up on his deception many times, but your love and trust for him just blinded you to the clues or made you dismiss them.

    But I'm glad that you can come to terms with what has happened. I do hope that you can open up your heart again and find someone to trust, because, there are really good people out there. Even that guy that hurt you may have had good intentions with you, but was an idiot in handling being truthful to you and in understanding how much you actually cared for him and for your virginity. Best of luck to you and time heals wounds.

  • I think it's important to remember that your worth is not tied to your virginity. You had a bad experience, but you didn't tarnish yourself. You can regret the outcome but don't hold your self-worth over this. That boy has no respect for himself. You deserve to be loved and cherished. Even if you had sex with someone who was less than tolerable, that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be with someone who is kind, caring, respectful and loyal. I lost my virginity to someone the woman today would never give the time of day to. But instead of feeling ruined by my poor choices, I celebrate how far I've come. I don't know why society obsesses with virginity. I do believe sexuality is sacred, but mistakes happen, even in the bedroom. Chin up, sister! Good for you for kicking him to the curb

  • That is the biggest issue with young women. You put WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY too much importance on sex and virginity. find someone you think is hot and fuck him. he doesn't have to be your future husband, he doesn't have to even be your boyfriend. He doesn't have to be mr. right... he CAN be mr right at the moment. Guys don't care. we just want to have sex. We might never see her again after that night and that is fine. Of course it is better with that special someone. But the issue would be less traumatic for women if they were much more realistic. If you get a cheating piece of trash, then at least you didn't spend a lot of time with someone who didn't deserve you.

    • Meh. I see your point but I disagree. She's sharing her body with someone, of course it's important to her. There are women who don't care but there are women who do. It's different for everyone.

    • @LoloWaye I agree. It should be somewhat important because it has serious consequences for us (and no it's never 100% with birth control and it's nerve wracking with every STI check.) So like the OP I had sex with a bad boy, and now I just don't have any. I don't need it.

  • You put too much value in your virginity. It has no real value other than the one you give it.

  • Sadly been there, done that. It sucks. He took something from you you can't get back. But don't let it ruin the rest of your love life. It's his loss in the end. Delete him off your phone. Block him. And enjoy your newfound sexuality.

  • All Nicks are pricks. Not even kidding, never met a good one.

    • aw my step dad is a great guy! ):

    • @CrystalChild and the kid I work with is literally the best.

  • this is one of many reasons why it's important not to hang too much value on virginity or notions of purity. It's a lot like pinning all your hopes and dreams on a planned improv in the park, only to discover that it rains that day. There are too many circumstances beyond your control. You did the best you could, but you can't force someone to be trustworthy.

  • Totally fake story. How'd you unlock his phone?

    • You're 26 years old. How are you not aware of the fact that not everyone locks their phone?

    • @electrikrainb0w most people lock there phone. I don't know anyone who doesn't. And these stories are fake. It's one user who posts fake stories.

    • @electrikrainb0w not sure what being 26 has to do with locking your phone?

  • I'm sorry you had that experience, it's not a great situation but it's great you can talk about it and great you've moved on

  • This happens a lot to religious girls. We wait so long we get too desperate, and religion gives you a skewed perspective of relationships.

  • I'm very sorry that you had to go through that he is a complete jackass. You can't beat yourself up about this. You loved him and you willingly gave up your virginity while knowing that you were doing that. It was your decision and although the relationship ended badly, you can't change that decision. All of us who have been in relationships realize that sometimes they suck and don't with out. In this case it wasn't your fault. You should be happy that your realized this before it went to far and you two got married and then he cheated on you then. You would have been more emotionally invested and it would have been harder to break off. I'm not saying you should be happy he cheated on you but you can't beat yourself up about a decision you consciously made.

  • marrying wouldn't have changed the outcome neither
    what you describe there is infidelity, not cheating... still wrong nonetheless

    you describe this relationship as "was fun and amazing"
    but a serious relationship isn't just shits n' giggles...
    don't get me wrong it's a lot of those... but there's a lot of worries and a lot of taking care of each other as well, there's a lot about families and other meaningful subjects.

    you'll be truly loved by a man, the day you realize you became the center of his world, and managed to carve yourself in his mind where he simply can't forget about you.

  • At the end of the day you have no one else to blame but your poor choice of boyfriend. The blame is split between you both

    Him being manipulative and you not realizing it

  • It's all lies, the guys speak of, to get eff a girl

  • This is what you get for listening to your heart.

    Stop listening to your feelings! Your heart doesn't know anything! It doesn't think! In fact, it can not think! Your heart is all muscle and no brain!

    Infatuation is the best word for women. They never listen to that brain of theirs and trust the muscle head.
    While it would be best to have the one you love to love you back, if you are not sure then be with the one who loves you rather than the one you love.

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