When I was younger, I used to just always daydream about having a boyfriend. I thought having a boyfriend would be the best thing on the planet. I used to almost obsess about how I could make him commit, or how I'd be sure he wanted me, and etc.
I'm single atm, and happy about it. If I do decide to hookup, then I want to try everything. I never, ever thought that I'd say anything like that, but I'm sick of holding back.
I've posted on here before how I want to do oral only hookups, and I probably will, but that doesn't mean I won't have regular sex. I've also posted about how I expect hookup sex to suck for me since the guy won't know what I like or how my body works, like how a boyfriend would.
But then I talked to people about it more. In my case, I'd want to hookup sober or at least not be more than buzzed. The people I talked to about it inspired me though. I like how free casual sex can be, and not having to be so serious. Like no stress, or less stress...
I want to see if I can get a guy who doesn't really care about me to do what I want. Like would he just do whatever I asked? Slow sex, stop and start sex, oral, etc. I want to see how far I can go, like how easy it is. Does the sex have to be shitty, or not? Will he lie about doing x, y, or z for me or not?
If I ask to hang out after, or after fucking on the first date, would he say yes? I want to experience what it's like getting a basically random guy to interact with me like this. Instead of always pushing for a regular relationship, I want to see what it's like to be more free with people.
So the people I talked to convinced me that I should give this a shot. I don't believe I can make things or sex perfect with a relationship anymore. I want to see how much fun I can have without that instead.
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