Sexual Relationships
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Why I Say NO to Meaningless Sex

Why I Say NO to Meaningless Sex

Plenty of people in this day and age seem to think of sex as nothing.. sex has always meant something and actually matters to me. I don't want to make it meaningless like so many people have.

I think it feels so much better with emotion.

Why I Say NO to Meaningless Sex

So I have before had sex with people I don't really have much attachment to. You think you do, get down to it, and realize maybe you don't like that person quite as much as you thought you did. No passion, no emotion, just banging two bodies together. For some people who don't need the emotional side I'm sure it's great, but for me to be properly turned on and in the zone and really enjoying it, I need to care and feel cared for or it just ends up making me feel like it shouldn't have even started.

I don't want to get used.

Why I Say NO to Meaningless Sex

I feel like having meaningless sex sets yourself up for getting used. It's so often with fuck buddies and all that one will at least end up getting feelings for the other. I personally have never had a "fuck buddy" and never plan to but knowing lots of people who have been in those situations it seems one ends up taking advantage of the one who gains feelings and I just don't think it's nice or a healthy situation.

I don't want to get a STD.

Why I Say NO to Meaningless Sex

I think most people can agree that sleeping with strangers or people you hardly know is probably a bad idea in the sense of it is not safe. Of course condoms lower your chances of getting one but even with a condom you're still not 100% safe, they can break.

It's not going anywhere.

Why I Say NO to Meaningless Sex

To me if I'm sleeping with someone it should end up somewhere. To me, the act of sex isn't good enough without some form of commitment. Why am I sleeping with this person for months on end without it progressing? We're in exactly the same boat as we were when it started and for me personally it's one of the most pointless things.

I'm Jealous.

Why I Say NO to Meaningless Sex

When I'm in a relationship I have an amount of jealousy that if I feel my partner is doing something wrong with the opposite sex, if I care, then I'm not going to like it. So it goes the same way for a person I'm just casually sleeping with. 1 hour ago you were in my bed and now you think its okay to go chat up some woman in a club to try to sleep with them just because we're not committed? No, I'm sorry but I don't want to feel like a piece of crap and that is all that does to me.

I would rather have a relationship.

Why I Say NO to Meaningless Sex

Ok this is probably the most obvious one of the lot but yes! I would rather have a relationship.

Why settle for something that only has sex when I can find someone who wants all of it? And commitment, marriage, and kids in the long run. Who we actually spend time together as a couple and have a connection, we go on dates, we do fun things other than just "sex." I want

to be a priority with someone I'm sleeping with and I also want them to be mine.

I know that friends with benefits is fine and good for some people and I'm not saying it shouldn't be but I just know for me it's a very bad idea.... have you ever had a friends with benefits and do you like it?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd say yes to it myself. But I <3 relationships too. You can feel used and have all the other risks in a relationship too though. That's why they can suck.

Most Helpful Guy

  • thank you for this :) glad to know I'm not alone in wanting sex to mean something

    • You're very much not! :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I agree with everything here, great Take! I would absolutely never engage in meaningless, casual sex

    Several of my close friends (actually all of them if I think about it) sleep around. The only one who has no regrets about it is in a committed relationship and about to be married. One of my friends can't hold down a committed relationship because she likes to sleep around too much, and she admitted to catching feelings for a guy she slept with only one time. Another one of my friends sucked a guy off last week who is a known player, and now she feels bad because he treats every other girl the same, and now she doesn't feel special. Casual sex can have a lot of consequences (that really you could see coming, so it's not even a surprise) even if you go into it thinking it's just a one-time thing

    My boyfriend has done a little of both and decided he doesn't like casual sex because it's better with someone you love. He said having emotions makes it much better. And we're both the jealous type, so commitment fits us both well

  • I agree particularly with "it's not going anywhere". Exactly! Why are we in any sort of r

    • (Ugh, accidentally hit send) ... of relationship if we don't have a goal? I've had casual sex before when dealing with a breakup. It was something I felt I needed to distract from my lingering emotions for my ex. But it also reminded me that I truly love sex while being in a relationship. I agree with the other points too. While casual sex had its place in my life, my preference is sex with the guy I want to marry. There's no reason to have sex if I don't feel like I want to be with that person for long term. I want the connection emotionally. The fact that we can laugh and talk about our opinions together. The history that we've formed over time. These things make the relationship satisfying and thus the sex is also satisfying.

  • Sex is so much better with emotions involved almost like an outer body experience. It's always more passionate when you care for the one you're with and vice versa.

    • I agree but its a bit idealistic to assume the choice is always hook up or relationship. It's hook up or stick to self love and hooking up still beats self love for guys at least? Or if for other reasons you just decide you don't want a relationship with them.

    • Very true. I didn't say hook ups were bad just that sex is better when you care for the person.

    • True

  • meaningless sex is not sex at all.. fucking people randomly for fun is merely a meaningless contact of male and female bodies which is uselesss. real sex really leaves you absorbed in it and every contact will send an awesome feeling through your spine.

  • I too want sex to mean something. Furthermore, I want to make love, not just get all mechanical like sex is so often portrayed in porn. Porn takes otherwise good and beautiful things and corrupts the mind with unrealistic ideas. Sex is the most powerful emotion creating act on earth and should not be toyed around with, like playing with fire. On the other hand, when two people truly love one another, it is the most enjoyable and joyful acts on earth. It is as close as two people can come to one another while also being so close to heaven itself.

  • make it meaningful to you if that is what is it. i believe sex should happen between people who are emotionally connected with each other...

  • so true

  • I was totally going to agree with you, but then that first picture was super hot. And you've got a bunch of different pics of various hot chicks I feel like I'm getting conflicting messages here.

    But, nothing is "safe". People say that all the time. Life isn't safe. It's going to kill you. You're gonna die, already. Might as well have some fun before you get killed by life.

    The amount of things that could go wrong is basically infinite. If you spent all your time thinking about all the possible risks of any possible action, you would just live in perpetual terror, unable to do anything. Precautions are good, but again, you can't take precautions against everything.

    I get what you're saying, but, you know, at the same time, risk/benefit. I don't think it's necessarily that you want to avoid an STD; but, it's that you have discovered the benefit is not worth the risk, for yourself. If the benefit was worth the risk, it wouldn't matter.

    There are also significant risks to marriage, for instance. What if he kills you? We're most likely to be killed by our loved ones. Especially women. Does that mean women should never date or marry to eliminate the risk of being killed by a husband or boyfriend?

    What if your kid comes out with some horrible disease that leaves him/her in a lifetime of agony? Etc. Etc. I accept that you don't want casual relationships, but I reject the STD reason. It's just that the benefit is not worth the risk to you; but, the risks of marriage, children, etc, *are* worth the risks, even though there are SIGNIFICANT risks to those, as well.

    And what do you mean by "meaningless sex". Is it simply sex outside the bounds of a monogamous relationship? Because I think that would be going a bit too far. Just because you aren't part of a monogamous relationship doesn't mean that the sex is meaningless. Then, what do you define as "meaningful" sex?

    I do not think it is common for casual sex to be meaningless. If it were meaningless, no one would do it. Bonding still happens, completely ignoring the pretty decent pleasure. And some people can enjoy that bond and then let it go gracefully to move on to another bond. It's virtually never only physical. At least, not for me.

  • I used to feel that way but I wanted to break free from being held down and my ideas on sex changed. I wanted to and it was my way of just enjoying life more. I just dont consider any sex as meaningless.

  • Interesting and good mytake.

  • I've had lots of FWB's and i tell you what... its still the best fucking relationship on the planet. sex is only meaningless if that is what you make it...
    Fucking women, just side on something and think they are right... just say you are an insecure woman and want to feel like you are worth something and we can all hang up our helmets and call it a day.
    Meaningless sex... there is no such thing... whats with that stupid line..."getting used"... sorry to break it to you darling... that is a 2-way street. we ALL get used... ok? you just gotta know what you want and how to get it. pfft.. women think because they spread their legs its some fucking huge event, its not. its just sex... really... thats all it is.
    If you want other shit attached to it, then go ahead... i can understand saying you want to have some kind of lock down before sex... i know thats that female insecurity talking... but dont call the event that makes the world go round (sex) meaningless... you can call the participants meaningless... but wth did sex ever do to you lol...
    And lastly... if you had a good dicking down before... i dont think you'd be calling sex meaningless. just saying.

    • How is wanting to have sex with meaning.. female insecurity? If i did a take on why i LOVE meaningless sex would you be praising me? lol

    • in all honesty... i would like to... but there is still that "meaning" factor. I always say... do you want to or not... if you want to.. then its not meaningless. if you dont and are "forced"... its not meaningless either... meaning is just a word women use to justify that they have expectations.. dont want to do an activity with a man because they are too caught up in their own selfishness, hopes and expectations. why else would it be called "meaningful" cuz its supposed to lead somewhere... no... no.. just have sex and leave it where it is.

    • Meaningful sex to me is sex with someone i care about Meaningless sex is with someone i don't.. from my experience the only people who disagree with it are single people or people who have not yet experienced deep emotion towards a partner

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  • I totally agree. I'm still a virgin, but I definitely don't plan on having sex with anyone until I'm in a fully committed relationship. I feel like if you were to just have casual sex, it would take the meaning and significance away and it wouldn't be as special when you do it with someone you are considering spending the rest of your life with. Could also lead to unreciprocated feelings, like you said.

  • Doing anything without a reason feels empty to me. I don't care if it is sex or not, If I do something I prefer doing it because I want to and I feel like doing it!

  • From what I've heard, sex is not all that it's cracked up to be. Like it feels nice but it's not life changing like many people describe it. I'm guessing what makes it amazing is the full experience, not just the PIV. Being as close as possible with the person you've built a relationship with and are crazy about, the physical intimacy and closeness in general, etc etc.
    I don't judge people who do engage in casual sex but I definitely agree with you. Good mytake 👌

  • My guy friend said it's easier to find casual sex than relationships which is why he doesn't put effort into relationships

  • I'm with you 💯

  • i'd never have sex with someone i didn't have a connection with. i find it so trashy to have one night stands or with someone that i have no clue about.

  • Yeah, I'm with you. I don't see the appeal in having sex with someone I don't like or love. I need the attachment to the person, to see that there's at least the potential for a relationship, if we're not already in one.

  • Meaningful to you is not the same as meaningful to someone else... and emotion is involved whether you want it or not. What you are referring to is having sexy with a guy COMFOTABLE with emotions- yours and his. But emotions exist in everything we do. Including when people act cold. That's emotion.

    Jealousy is not helthy whether in a relationship or not.

    Looks like you just want a rehationshio. That's fine you don't need to justify it. Many people having casual sexual relations would RATTER be in a relationship but don't want any old person... so instead if grabbing any he or boyfriend they go slow and gave casual sex in the mean time so that they are not mistaking kust for actually liking the person.

    STDs can occur in a reationshio or not. Depends on the person not the relationship. People lie even bfs gfs.
    Mbejng ysed. That's for you to decide not someone else. Having sex should be something you do bc you want to. Anyone can try to use you rsircuslky a person pretending to want to be with you. Plenty of hugs get gfs just for sex.

    • You mean some people might think fuck buddies is meaningful?

  • Yeah, all points make sense.

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