Going Down On You… What Guys Really Think

A frequently asked question from female GAG members is, "Do guys really like to perform oral sex?" I've answered it a few dozen times because it comes up so regularly. For those who've asked or have always wondered, this myTake is for you. The rest of you are welcome, too.

In this myTake, I plan to answer it and other related questions, not just from my own experience, but from the GAG-based research I've done. I'm not so naïve as to think that this myTake will answer it once and for all, but I wanted to write something relatively complete so I (or anyone) can refer to it when the question comes up in the future.

Going Down On You… What Guys Really Think

Do guys really like to give oral?

Yes, for the most part, men love cunnilingus.

The emphasis on really is meant to highlight the disbelief coming from those who ask it. So, in preparation for this myTake, I asked a question which was open to male GAG members only. I worded it very simply:

Guys, do you like going down on girls?

The results are:

75 - I love it (64%)
12 - I can take it or leave it (10%)
08 - I hate it (7%)
23 - I've never done it / Virgin / See results (19%)

If we eliminate the guys in the last category who wouldn't answer or have never done it, we have 95 responses. 75 out of 95 means 79% love it; that's a large majority!

Beyond the poll, 23 guys wrote opinions. Of the 23, only one said "not really". The 22 remaining respondents were moved to say "yes" in person and most were emphatic about it in some way. I was surprised at the response, actually; it was a guys-only question and there wasn't anyone to impress.

If you've had any doubts about male enthusiasm for the act, I think you can safely put those to rest. Of course, a large majority of men is not the same as all men, and we can't just write off guys whose preferences lie elsewhere. Then again, I don't think there is anything in human sexuality that is universally liked. This goes for the female side of cunnilingus, also. This question goes to show that it's not every woman's cup of tea, either. Luckily, there is someone for everyone!

Guys, why do you like it?

This is another way the question is often worded, and it goes hand in hand with the general disbelief expressed in the first question. Some askers are seriously squicked out on their partners' behalf. (Ew! Why would a guy like that?) This question is typical. The asker made her own poll with only Yes, No, and Results as options. Guys answered Yes 41 - 4, making her results even more in favor of giving head than mine. There are several good opinions on that question.

So why?

Much hay is made over the ineptitude, selfishness, and laziness of guys in bed and, undoubtedly, there are plenty of guys like that. But when I saw the responses to my poll where the enthusiasm of so many other men was akin to my own, the conclusion I drew is that most guys care deeply and genuinely about their partner's pleasure. (I've actually always known that, but now I can back it up with data.)

There are two facets to it:

1) Men are simply delighted that their partners are experiencing pleasure. In my own experience, there's a noticeable turning point where the pleasure forces her to stop thinking about all her body insecurities and her mental to-do lists and she's completely in the moment. That's awesome for her and I love that she has that!

2) Guys are satisfied with themselves when their partners are experiencing pleasure at their hand. (OK, hand isn't necessarily literal here, but you get the idea.) It contributes to their self image and confidence when they make their partners quake from an intense orgasm.

But these reasons aren't unique to a person who's performing oral sex on a woman; anyone can take delight in a partner's pleasure. So why else do guys like it?

Even if there's nothing physical going on for him while he's eating her out, it's still a very effective mental turn-on. Every little detail of her reaction is a part of it, as is the intense sensory experience of performing the act. The view of her naked body up close, the texture of her vulva on his tongue, the sounds she's making, the movements, her personal scent and taste… All her reactions: her ragged breathing, her grip on the sheets… The things she does, like when she bites the pillow, curls her toes, rakes her nails over his scalp, spreads her labia, gyrates as she gets close… The intimacy of it… It all amounts to a HUGE turn-on.

Doesn't it taste bad?

I know some health problems can make it off-putting, but I've personally never experienced that with anyone. Some guys have had bad experiences. While the taste and smell are always subjective, plenty of guys like it, associating it strongly with pleasure. That's certainly true in my case.

Guys only do it because they want a blowjob in return, right?

Most are eagerly anticipating their turn, yes. But also note that many guys actually prefer giving to receiving. I just included myself in that group by answering this question. I've also ran into comments from guys who prefer giving oral to having penetrative sex. (I wouldn't go that far, but giving oral is still super important.)

How do I approach my partner about going down on me?

Just ask. This question has a few unfortunate answers, but it shows that most guys prefer directness.

How do guys like a girl to be groomed down there?

This is where preferences are truly diverse. In this poll, 31 guys respond to that question.

What else is there to say about it?

Here are links to some other interesting, on-topic questions on GAG:

"Guys who are addicted to pussy eating" Does this exist?

Why do guys get oral sex more often when it's girls who actually need it to orgasm?

Cunnilingus while menstruating?

How would you feel if your girl doesn't want you to go down on her, but she wants to give you blowjobs?

If you made it this far, thank you.

RSVP

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  • Greta mytake.

    • Thank you

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 15
  • THANK YOU!
    my ex boyfriend used to veeery obviously dislike it and only did it for a little bit, boringly, and to get me aroused enough to stick it in... it was the biggest turn off ever, and the first time i was with a guy who wasn't crazy about it!
    let's say thats why I am now not with him but with with someone else ;)

  • That was really well written and informative actually. Thanks for writing this.

    • Thank you

  • This was so informative, I've always seen penis/dick as the main attraction to sex-but you and people below really make oral seem good.

    • Thank you

  • I guess I don't feel that men like to do it because the orgasm gap is so high. And women, mostly, need it to get there as opposed to men.

    And many guys, even here, have said that they'd prefer if no foreplay was required, which often includes oral, and just stick it in.

    Also, I'll admit that rap and media has influence. There have been songs like Easy E "I might be a woman beater but I'm not a pussy eater". And more but I can't remember which, only like this decade have I heard songs mention giving women oral pleasure, which coming from rappers, was a shock lol
    scontent-sea1-1.cdninstagram.com/.../...0196_n.jpg

    • Are your feelings based only on rap and what you've previously seen here, or is it your personal experience as well? Just curious. FWIW, rap has zero appeal to me and the line you quoted does nothing to improve that.

    • Such an intense gaze from that lion 😮

    • A mix. And lmaoooo. Rap isn't all bad.

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  • This was a very well written myTake. We share similar attitudes and beliefs on the subject.

    • Thank you

  • Nothing better than oral if you ask me, giving or receiving.

  • There are when my husband tries to skip this part and it just depends on how turned on I am, if I need a bit of attention down there I tell him and if he doesn't spend enough time down under I tell him so.
    Well the other day I explained to hubby how different it feels when he makes me wet compared to just using a bit of lubricant.
    Lube just stays on the outside and I'm dry on the inside whereas when he works his magic I'm so much more wetter all the way through.
    So it feels soooooo much better for me, it must feel better for him too.

    • Did he change his behavior?

    • Yes 👍

    • Good news!

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  • Lovely take. But you already knew most women won't read a take instead of asking the question themselves, as if somehow the 501'st time it's asked will provide brand new information.

    I've said it before - never trust a guy who doesn't sup at the hairy cup.

    • Thank you, I appreciate the compliment. Yes I knew that, but that's an everyone problem at GAG. This isn't Stack Exchange, where you get slapped for duplicate questions. And there are excellent female-authored myTakes on dick size and yet the questions never stop.

  • Great MyTake! Very informative. My partner begs me to let him but I'm always to shy. I worry about a lot of things. AND when I cum from that I end up with this piercing headache that lasts for only about a minute but it's bloody agony haha
    It's interesting to see these results. Makes me feel a little bit more secure.

    • It's a buildup of pressure in the inner ear and it's usually released straight after but yours must hang around for a while. The same thing happens during labor, you can even burst your eardrums. I remember having to get out of my hospital room because I had way too many visitors and with all of them chatting amongst each other really hurt my ears. I picked up my water jug saying that it needed to be filled and went and sat in the nursery for a while, it was so nice and peaceful.

    • Thank you. Glad to help.

    • @Goodwifie I never heard of that. Interesting.

  • Great take buddy

    • Thank you

  • Wholeheartedly agree with this.

  • Seen another article on the subject that claims women are very frustrated by the fact that men don't really seem interested in "going down" to any great extent. That 30seconds of tongue wagging down there if they're lucky. The reason, claims the article, is that guys think vaginas are "yucky" "ikkie"and "messy" and can be "stinky". I shared the article with a couple of women friends who i'm not romanticaly or physically involved with, and sadly they said they agreed with the article. The article also says that guys, on the other hand expect and demand BJs at the drop of a hat, my friends agreed with this as well.
    For me, i was surprised, i can't get enough of "drinking from the furry cup".

    • What do you think accounts for the disparity of that article and this take (along with your own experiences)?

    • You're a guy. You know how guys talk about sex with women. It's all about what she did, the size of her tits, how fat her arse is, how willing she was, did she BJ, swallow etc. If you say you went down, it's not did she cum, but what it looked like, how big, how wet, and what was the smell like. Nothing complimentry. And quite a few women feel insecure about how they look and smell down there. Many women complain, like those female friends of mine that guys are less than enthusiastic about giving it their best. A guy friend of mine used to think you were sick in the head to do it, as according to him, "they piss out of it, bleed from it and shit from the other side of it, and you want to put your mouth on it" Just another take on the subject. As for me, i'm a huge fan of it.

    • I was never a fan of the locker room talk you're referring to. It always stuck me as misogynistic. Luckily, went into my first experience with an open mind and I've liked it ever since.

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  • Girls actually do it better than guys. They know right where the whoopey button is.

    • It's REALLY not that difficult to figure it out. Some of us can actually read, and/or have some skills with diagrams and spatial reasoning... :)

    • And that from a thirteen year old girl. XD

  • Yup, nailed it.

  • I would never give oral to a random girl because of STD risks. I love giving oral to my wife especially if I need to slow myself down or am getting tired during long sex sessions. It's very satisfying making a woman can and I don't know about any other guys but a woman in a state of orgasm is a serious turn on.

  • from my experience many young guys (including the many players) in japan don't like it and don't want to try it on new girls due to bad experiences in the past or because they assume the worst or simply can't stand the thought of it.

    they expect to receive oral and know they can avoid giving because many girls won't ask for it. they are shocked and sometimes upset if they are denied this.

    some guys love to give oral to a girl and initiate it but it's far from the majority. i have noticed that the late 20s early 30s guys tend to be more into it. i have no data for older generations.

    now some may say ”well they can afford to have this attitude because they are attractive” and there may be some truth to that.

    • I really love t give oral

    • can we chat?

    • Thanks for your reply. A female friend spent a year teaching in Japan. (She's from the US.) She told me she loved it but it's VERY patriarchal for a westerner. This must be part of it. What do you think?

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  • If you can smell it by the time you reach her belly button cancel the show.

  • tongue tornado :D

  • That was great! Thumby thumby!

    • Thanks

  • Well i class myself in the minority of the fact that i don't want to be pleasured at all, i prefer to get the girl off as that basically gets me off

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