I've been seeing a lot of questions on here about people's number of sexual partners, which number would be too high, and if it's an overall deal breaker.
I understand why promiscuity is a turnoff. I mean I've never heard anyone say oh great my partner or date has been around whether it's a guy or girl in spite of the stud/slut double standard. I mean promiscuity is promiscuity regardless of gender. Yes, it's easier for women to get laid but no one is forcing men to get laid or sleep around when they are able to. I just don't see how there's anything to benefit from having these conversations.
If you've ever seen the movie Clerks, you know these kinda conversations don't end well.
I've been dating the same girl for the past 3 months and at no point has she shared how many guys she's slept with nor did she ask me how many girls I've slept with. I never asked her either because personally I don't want to know. Whether she's been with 1 or 20, I don't care to hear the details. Whether the sex was good or bad, what positions she did with who, and how often, it's just not something I really care to think about.
I've had some messed up situations with finding out about a girl's sexual past where they either just blurted out too many personal details early on or left evidence behind and it wasn't like I asked them. One girl spent the whole date going on about her number of partners, how she had sex with 2 guys with the same name as the busboy who walked by, how she slept with her ex 2 days before our date, how they're sex addicts and other stuff. It made me very uncomfortable. Another girl talked about how she had an abortion on the first date and felt the need to tell me how she rushed home to take a pregnancy test and caught by a train then had her period. What possessed her to tell me that? I have no idea. Then another time a girl didn't share her sexual history with me but invited me to her apartment on the 3rd date, told me to go into her bedroom to have sex and when i went in there, there was a condom wrapper clearly from another guy just laying on the bed. Very fucked up.
Now I'm not one to slut shame, but all I'm saying is it's a 2 way streak. A guy boasting about his sex life to a girl is just as weird as girl doing it to a guy. I just figure that a girl has most likely had sex with other guys before me and don't need to know the rest. I just don't wanna think or picture the details of a girl's sexual past. And it's not out of jealousy or possessiveness. What matters is that they're with me now and how they treat me? I wouldn't hold someone's past against them just like I wouldn't want them holding my past against me.
Now what I DO care about are these three things:
1. Does she have an STD? - for health reasons
2. Does she have a kid? - Nothing against single moms or kids, but having a kid does get in the way and I'm not exactly wanting to take care of a kid that's not mine.
3. Does she cheat? I've heard the phrase that if she has more partners, she's more likely to cheat. That can be true in some instances but it's not all black and white like that. By the end of the day, a cheater is a cheater, regardless of partners.
By the way I am not encouraging anyone to sleep around. But if you do so, be safe about it. The reason I don't ask these questions is once you know, it'll be in the back of your head. As the old saying goes, don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
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