Sexual Relationships
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Relax, You Look Fine Down There. Really.

A question that comes up regularly on GAG is, "Do guys care what a woman looks like down there?" It's worded many different ways. Some women who ask it are worried about their labia being too large whereas others worry that the inner lips show through the outer, that they don't look like a particular porn star, that their skin is darker there, that their labia are asymmetrical, or any number of related concerns.

Relax, you look fine down there. Really.

Despite having had many frank discussions with women about sex over the years, I've never once encountered this particular worry in real life. Maybe it's so personal that only the anonymity of GAG and other places on the Internet makes people comfortable enough to bring it up in mixed company. When I first saw this question here, my gut reaction was, "Great, another thing for women to have body insecurities about!" (Yes, sarcasm.) I've been on GAG less than a year and I've already answered this question more than a dozen times. Paraphrasing myself, this is the basic answer:

If it comes to the point where I get to see her vulva, I'm thrilled that I'm about to have sex with someone I am close with, and not really concerned with the precise size, shape, or color of her folds. I've never encountered anyone I didn't think was beautiful in that department.

You've got to remember that, while you might think your vulva is ugly, guys like your lady bits. Every time this question is asked, a large majority of guys respond just like I did: with a statement that the look of a vulva is either irrelevant or delightful. Don't take my word for it, though. I went through my history and found every instance where I (and many other guys, of course) answered this question. Here are the links:

It's embarrassing... But is it normal to have unequal vagina lips?

Guys, do you secretly think vaginas are ugly and gross?

Does he really not like big "lips" down there?

Guys, so when you see a girl's vagina what do you actually think?

HUGE vagina lips?

Boys, in your opinion can a vagina be beautiful or ugly?

How important is how a girl's pussy looks for you to want to stay with her and not cheat?

Do any of you straight guys think vaginas are gross?

Guys, are large labia a turn on? Or does it put you off?

GUYS: do y'all find vaginas ugly / disgusting / unappealing?

Mons Pubis/Vagina worries for nothing?

Are outies a turn-off?

Do men get turned off by a big labia?


That is a lot of pent-up anxiety! Since this comes up so often, I wanted to know if guys would respond any differently if it was a guys-only question that was asked by a guy. Hoping that they would stick to their story when there weren't any girls to impress, I conducted a poll anonymously and spent some XPER points to have it featured. This is what I asked:

Guys, have you or would you ever reject a woman because of how her labia look?

You can visit the poll/question here. The results were as follows:

Relax, You Look Fine Down There. Really.

If we eliminate the category of guys who basically didn't answer (shown in gold), I had 175 respondents, 159 (91%) of whom said they would not reject a woman because of how her genitalia looked. I was actually surprised it was that low. There were some comments from the usual trolls, so… I'd wager quite a bit of money that 91% is in fact too low.

Back when I answered this the first time, I did a little Google research into it and learned about an Australian website called the Labia Library, devoted to the purpose of reassuring visitors that there is great diversity and no particular look is wrong or abnormal. It's and has been featured in magazines and websites worldwide.

Reassurance is the point of this myTake as well. In particular, for women who care what men think about the subject, well, now you know: You're fine.

RSVP

12 12

Most Helpful Guy

  • Preying on women's insecurities is a multi-billion dollar industry. Women look for faults as a result, find faults where none exist.
    Women don't realise that guys do not see, or actually care about what women believe are faults or blemishes. The very same applies to the vulva. Men actually know that vulvas come in all shapes and sizes, that each one is unique to that woman they are with, or they hope to be with. Guys accept. Women should try and get past their insecurities and also accept that what they have is beautiful.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I was really insecure because of how much mine had changed after having three babies.
    I had to let go of my my insecurities about that and my tummy to improve my love life with my husband. He wanted to keep the light on 😱.

    Love what you are given ladies.

    • Amen

    • Darkness is good for sensory deprivation at times. But as men we are very visual And we are with a woman that we love And/or find very attractive Visually We want to see as much as possible. Every sense we have can be sensual and sexual

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What Girls & Guys Said

14 22

  • So I like mine the way it is, and if anyone has a problem with it they can just suck it. lol. Honestly, I can understand being turned off by a lady's parts, I messed around with two girls and was totally turned off by all of that, I am not a fan of large lips or hanging bits haha. but nothing is wrong with it, I'm just not going down on that, maybe for a girlfriend or something but not a one nighter.
    Girls should know if one man or woman doesn't want it, someone else will, don't hate the player, hate the game. just keep on keeping on.

  • I think all shapes and sizes of labia are beautiful. Even a full bush of pubic hair on a woman is beautiful because its a sign of womanhood. I think its sad that we shame people, especially women away from how nature intended or how their body is which is unique. Modern pop fashion and porn largely shape these unrealistic ideas. Us guys especially need to unlearn what we are exposed to and see it for the lie it is.

    • It's all good.

  • My lady bits actually take up about 87% of my body insecurities. But this was nice to read. It doesn't change the way I feel about my private parts but it's still good to see.

    • I'd be surprised if anyone read this and did a mental 180, but if it does anything at all to help the process along… cool.

    • As a guy, I've honestly never seen a lady flower that I didn't find beautiful and intoxicating. All wonderfully different, each a treasure. Please don't take this as creepy, but if you want a private opinion, feel free to private message me a picture.

  • Yea I'm not sure why ladies are worried about this. I could care less myself, if the guy thinks my lady bits are ugly then I'm sure I can find a guy who finds them to be great!
    I've never understood why people are so self conscious of their genitals, we're all different so wouldn't that mean our bits are different from other's?

    • It's good to know this isn't a universal concern! :-)

  • guys dont usually worry about that.. until afterwards and we are having an afterglow cuddle...

    A lot of guys dont know what to look for and make a judgement

    • I'm not sure what you're saying. Can you explain?

  • Who looks at their bits so closely as to notice asymetricality?

    I haven't a fucking clue what mine looks like. I know the anatomy of it. But i can't tell you if there's any discolouration or asymetricality or even if im an innie or an outie.

    Cause i dont care. So long as i smell and taste alright i dont care.

    • It's cool that it this was completely unnecessary for you.

    • Really? I look at mine all the time.

    • My genitals I mean.

    • Show All

  • As a nudist, I've seen them all. And I can honestly say it doesn't matter to me what a girl's vulva looks like. In fact, I like the variety.

    • Gotta agree; everybody's different.

  • I wish men didn't care so much about pubic hair *-*

    • Not all do. It's easily changed if you're willing. And if you want it the way you want it, here's a poll that shows the diversity out there: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2257344-would-you-go-down-on-a-girl-with-a-little-pubic-hair

    • That's landing strip, I mean full on bush

    • If ladies Stop caring about man's bush... Then so would men

    • Show All

  • I saw a similar question years ago on Answerbag when they had an adult section while I was deployed with the U. S. Navy. And I see it this way. Think of labia like pettles on a flower. Be it the long slender pettles of a Cala Lilly or the small compact bud of a Peruvian Rose, in either case, do you not want to bury your nose in it? Do you not injoy their fragrance different as they may be? Now, imagine these flowers to also be a fleshy fruit that becomes juicier and more flavorful the more you eat it. And imagine that this fruit even moans with the delight of being eaten. Women's bodies are a wonder of beautiful delights and the difference between them is a garden of Eden that each makes more beautiful for what they bring. Enjoy your flower ladies, those of us who take our gardening seriously, enjoy what you have to offer.

    • That's very poetic.

    • Thank you.

  • Thats pretty relieving tbh.
    But what about hair there? Do guys prefer hair there or prefer smooth?

    • Preferences are diverse, but here's a reassuring poll: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2257344-would-you-go-down-on-a-girl-with-a-little-pubic-hair

    • just no jungle is preferred.

    • I love hair down there on a woman. Its beautiful and how its supposed to be. A full bush is wonderful and a sign of womanhood.

    • Show All

  • Well, it depends if it's hairy or not. Hairy innie = fine. Meat curtains that look like an Arby's roast beef sandwich = not fine. There's a reason labiaplasty exists. As far as pubes if it shaved then it's ugly. It's like taking a furry rabbit or cat and shaving it bald. Which do you prefer if you had one as a pet? How attractive is a girl to a guy after she shaves her head compared to before? Similar comparisons.

    • Perhaps it exists because of insecurities born out of cruel analogies that only a tiny mind would think is funny.

    • Well, not funny to me, was being 100% serious.

    • So just cruel and stupid. Got it.

    • Show All

  • Phew, thanks!

  • Great myTake. I agree with everything you said. The last thing girls need is one more thing about their bodies to worry about.

    • Thank you.

  • Good myTake, but we all know that tomorrow these questions will be back, along with the "is my 8" penis big enough?" questions.

    It's true the GaG search bar algorithm is atrocious, but with these popular questions it's not hard to find earlier threads with the same topic, still people keep asking these same questions every day.

  • Thank you so so much!!

    • You're welcome!

  • I follow the Forrest Gump view: "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.” Vulvas are like that. They are unconnected with a girl's public appearance. I sort of have preferences. An Innie/cameltoe is more ideal for sex because it directs you to the target with nothing in the way. A long lippy outie is more fun for giving her oral because you can lay her petals to the sides and reveal a lovely, glistening pink field to love on and you can see where everything is. But when I am face to face with a new one, it is a thing if beauty and attitude no matter what it's style is.

  • I personally am of the opinion that a large labia and mons pubis are very sexy. It adds a definite unique character to thr genitalia. It is a definite plus and turn on for me.

  • Take me the way I am and love me or leave me alone.

  • As long as women give too much importance to their pubic area , they will keep on having to face problems with it. Even men have started taking interest in how a woman's pubic area looks. Most women of GAG have expressed their desire to trim , wax or do something to get rid of their pubic hair or to put it into some sort of shape. Even men on GAG have expressed their desire to have such type of pubic areas that women desire to have. Fashion trends is the in thing and women are the followers of fashion and men agree because as long as their women feel happy , they are happy. My personal feeling is that I can tolerate if women have natural hair on their pubes. Ultimately it is their body and they should be allowed to do what pleases them. But the real truth is that women are never satisfied about how their pussy area looks. Media plays a role to make women feel uncomfortable about their pussy. And as long as media has its hold on women , they will keep in tune with what they preach.

  • Honestly - there is such a thing as an unattractive vagina. Stop being a white knight here.

    • I believe that you think so, but this is simply pointing out the clear opinion of a very large majority of guys for the benefit of everyone.

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