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My Honest Thoughts on Gender, Transgender and the Non-Binary Spectrum

My Honest Thoughts on Gender, Transgender and the Non-Binary Spectrum

First, let me start by mentioning that I am thirteen and so please hear me out. I do not mean to be bigoted or offensive, if you may take it that way. I am just expressing my feelings.

This isn’t really very organised, but I’ll do my best.

Transgender

I think there is something fundamentally flawed about the term transgender itself.

If you wish to define gender as ‘social expectations based on sex and your personal identity’ or something of that sorts, then how can you change your gender? Why would you need to change something that you always had?

Trans= across/change

So if gender is your personal identity then transgender doesn’t really exist in the way we think it does.

My Honest Thoughts on Gender, Transgender and the Non-Binary Spectrum

If transgender is defined as physically altering your body to have features typical of the opposite sex, then shouldn’t you say something like ‘trans-physical-sex’ or something? How can you have a gender reassignment surgery if gender is what’s in your brain?

And why do most transgender people go through transformation surgery? If gender is not defined by physicality, then why get a physical change? All it does is make a lot of people believe that the only way for you to be acknowledged for what you are is to change how you look. I think that’s completely messed up. I’m not trying to diss any trans people, I’m just saying the system around it seems a bit wrong. Like a lot of people who try to convince trans people, including kids, that they were born in the wrong body. Your body isn’t what makes you, you. A lot of people have no arms or legs but they are still much more amazing people than many able people.

Your body is just something that carries the you inside. If I chose not to conform to the stereotypes attached to my body, that doesn’t make me wrong. If I am small, I can still be strong. If I am not slim, I can still run. If I have brown hair, I can still be pretty. If I have a vagina, I can still be ‘masculine’. If I have a penis, I can still be ‘feminine’. Please don’t convince people that their body is inherently wrong and then claim to support them. I think perhaps one of the biggest issues humanity has faced is thinking that brain>body.

Non-binary

Non-binary is often defined along the lines of ‘a person not fitting completely into either male or female gender identities’

My Honest Thoughts on Gender, Transgender and the Non-Binary Spectrum
Yes, I know you may not want to be aligned with stereotypes, but stereotypes will never go away. Nobody fits into masculine or feminine fully. But while I think the label non-binary may have good intentions, identifying as non binary doesn’t necessarily actually mean you don’t fit traditional stereotypes. It’s not so much the label as the actual effort to eradicate the stereotypes. And a woman/man who fits stereotypes should not be shunned for it.

I feel in a way that non-binary could become its own binary. If male and female form a binary then what is in the middle? Intersex is not a gender. It is hard to consider gender a complete binary if there are no exact defining points.

And perhaps if non-binary wasn’t a gender per se, but rather a movement, in 30 years gender would be a thing of the past. Claiming that gender is a social construct and then construct more terms for gender seems counter-productive. The more we continue to identify ourselves by gender, binary or non-binary, the more it will still exist and gender stereotypes will emerge even for those identifying as non-binary.

Biological sex on the other hand I think should not be bothered at all because it’s a part of genetics and is useful in medicine and stuff. Even though we are making strides gender-wise, I still have the dilemma of wearing jeans to my graduation and face rude assumptions of my sexuality or be stuck in an uncomfortable dress.

Thanks for reading and feel free to share your opinions!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • All right. Sweetie. I get that you're not trying to be insensitive, but your understanding of the issue is shallow. I'll try to explain, but since these answers are limited to 2500 characters and 1000 for the follow-ups, and I can't make fifty responses, I can only touch very briefly on a very complex situation.

    Now brace yourself, I'm gonna ramble.

    First of all, "transgender" (or more commonly "trans") doesn't actually mean "physically altering your body to have features typical of the opposite sex." Yes, I know a lot of people USE that definition for the word, but it's the wrong definition, and it's based on a misunderstanding.

    "Transgender" is a common term for anyone whose gender identity, expression, and/or role doesn't match up with the sex they were assigned at birth. This includes transsexuals, crossdressers, people whose gender expression is non-conforming, androgynes, people outside the binary, and others.

    So when you say that the word "transgender" doesn't make sense with the definition of "gender" as a social construct -- you're right, it doesn't. But that's because it's not being used correctly.

    People who have or will alter their bodies, or have decided to live as the opposite sex, are called "transsexuals." They're ALSO transgender, because they fall within that broad definition, but they are a specific TYPE of transgender, namely a transsexual.

    As for your claim that your body isn't what makes you you -- that's not WRONG, but it's a very simplistic way of looking at it. Certainly we are more than our bodies, but bodies, but I think you underestimate just how awful it feels when your body just isn't what it should be. All those amazing people without arms or legs -- don't you think they still wish they HAD arms or legs? I can almost guarantee that if they had the chance to somehow get fully functional limbs they wouldn't hesitate for long.

    Being trans has to do with the brain. You see, studies have shown that the male and the female brain have structural and physical differences, although of course there's huge individual variations going on as well. Usually brain and body coincide -- you get a male brain in a male body, and a female brain in a female body.

    A trans person, however, will have a brain that's structured differently. This is VERY simplified, but you can say that a transwoman's brain is structured like a female brain, even if the body is that of a male.

    (Continued, this post is getting too long as it is)

    • This is why some trans children insist that they are the opposite gender as soon as they can speak; in them the brain structure is especially at odds. They KNOW what gender their brains tell them they are. Even if the thing between their legs says otherwise. Puberty brings its own set of problems. Puberty's trying enough for regular kids, but for a trans kid it means that the body begins producing the "wrong" type of hormones. The male body starts producing more testosterone, but the female brain can't run so well on the testosterone. It's like trying to get a gasoline engine to run on diesel; there's GOING to be problems. And so the trans child experiences what we call "gender dysphoria." Maybe she doesn't even know why, but she finds the body changes to be disgusting and terrible and grotesque. Her brain tells her that this body is WRONG, it's not supposed to be like this.

    • Okay, i will say that I learned a few things form this, and I would like to congratulate you on being as civil on the matter as you were. but one thing I still don't understand is just how it's different from a body dysmporphic disorder.

    • Hormonal imbalances and the fact that brain and body are at odds with each other can in the most extreme cases lead to sickness, severe depressions and massive self-loathing. These kids go through hormonal and emotional hell. and no amount of therapy, meds or anti-depressants help. There's a reason why the suicide rate among transpeople is higher. It's not a cry for attention, it's not that they just need to accept themselves for who they are, it's not that they just sort of wish they had the life or the looks they don't have -- it's that their brains are totally out of whack with their bodies. In essence it's a medical condition, and if you haven't gone through it I don't think you can fully imagine how awful it is. Nobody WANTS that. And so sex-change, or gender reassigmnent surgery, is just as much about getting the "right" kind of hormones in, to get the brain and body to cooperate.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I actually am transsexual, and hear me out, as I've seen and heard a lot over the years:
    You've got it about right.
    "So if gender is your personal identity then transgender doesn’t really exist in the way we think it does" - absolutely!
    Let me shed some light:
    Transsexualism IS A MEDICAL CONDITION. There's science to prove this. Basically, the fetal brains of transsexual people are exposed to either too much testosterone (making the brain male) or too little (making it remain female, as we all start out as female in the womb) While the body which develops at a different stage in pregnancy is exposed differently to hormones. It's not that strange of an idea to think that the brain sex can differ from the body sex, in maybe as few as 1 of 10 000 babies. It's simple biology.
    I'm part of the European study SOBER (sex on brain Europen research) where brain structure concerning sex is studied.

    However, there has been a movement these last 30-40 years of trying to eliminate the stereotypes of the two genders. Basically gender roles.. And we have a wave of young women especially, claiming to be anything other than just - female. They are "bi-gender", "non-gender" - whatever the hell... This has NOTHING to do with the transsexual diagnosis obviously, but in media it is viewed as closely related..
    It makes us actual transsexual people look like a joke.
    If I hadn't surgically changed my body by now, I might have been dead, as I suffered from SEVERE dysphoria - being the very (and only) SYMPTOM of the condition. It occurred because I couldn't register my sexual characteristics as my own. Now I can, and I feel normal. I would have NEVER gone through all of this hassle, costing me money, time, making me face my worst fears, if I didn't think I had to to survive.

    I'm telling you people. It's a stupid political movement, strongly tied with feminism. They advocate the idea that gender is an identity, and not a biological part of us. It is nothing more than biology, and sometimes mistakes happen in peoples biology, making them get this diagnosis. It's that simple. Just misunderstood.
    Feel free to ask questions.

    • It was really cool hearing your perspective as a transsexual person. Yeah I do think at times the media may have painted actual trans people in a negative light.

    • Wow. Can you tell me more about this SOBER study, or at least link me to somewhere good? I'm also interested in the more technical aspects of how our brains work in relation to gender.

    • @RedVulcan I actually don't know of any online sources other than some PDFs if you google. I have lots of stuff on paper in my native language. Basically I'm one of some thousand patients that are performed brain scans on to further collect proof that hormonal exposure on the brain causes sexual difference in men and women. How much of our sex sits in the brain, compared to our sex-organs, is the core question to me. The study also aims to find out how hormone blockers effect the brain by stopping puberty. The study will be ended in 2020, and I guess results will be published then. It's extremely hard to prove this theory though, even though it's very likely to be right. Imagine 1 in 10 000 - 50 000 people are transsexual. That would mean maybe up to 200 000 pregnancies would have to be tested for abnormal hormone levels to spot 4-5 transsexuals. Then all of those studied cases would have to be checked up as they grew older to see if those abnormal cases displayed symptoms.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • This is honestly a pretty weird and complicated topic, so I don't really blame you for not understanding. I'll do my best to explain, and feel free to question anything that's unclear.

    Basically, gender is the categories we place people in. In our society, those categories are based on the biological sex categories we have for people (which are themselves imperfect socially constructed categories, but that's a whole different story) but they don't have to be. For most people, apparent sex is a good enough determiner of what gender they will be, especially when combined with our way of effectively training children to be good exemplars of the gender we've categorized them as. However, some people simply do not fit the categories we assign to them, and those people are transgender. For some, a different existing social category fits them, while for others no social categories fit and they must create their own.

    • Ok thanks for explaining it some more! I see you touched on non-binary. Your explanation helps especially since I’m even more confused by non-binary.

    • Yeah, no problem. Like I said, it's a pretty confusing topic. Basically it all just comes down to people being dissatisfied with the limited options society creates for them. And like I said, feel free to ask if anything's still confusing- I'm not exactly an expert on this, but I'll do the best I can.

  • Very good thoughts and very well said. I personally think the whole transgender thing has gone so far off the deep end that its crossed into insane. Too many people getting butthurt and needing a bs "safe space" over the wrong label and so on. People need to be happy in their own skin as they were made and not try to be someone or something they are not.

    • people need to realize that this could b easily compared to no fewer than three existing phenomena considered psychological disorders.

  • Great and interesting way of thinking! I have thought the same thing about transgenders. ''And why do most transgender people go through transformation surgery? If gender is not defined by physicality, then why get a physical change?'' This is an excellent question!

    • These are indeed the right questions to ask. It's harmful to undergo a physically altering treatment of a psychological disorder. The thing is transsexualism is a medical disorder. It has to do with hormonal exposure to the developing fetal brain. Basically actual transsexual people have the brains of their perceived sex already, and this can't be changed. The only successful treatment so that these patients can live functionally has been to change their bodies to better math their brains and alleviate their symptoms. It's extremely successful actually. What we see in society today is many many young people THINK they are trans, because they think it has to do with identity and social norms only. That's why it looks like it does. Real transsexualism, which is very real and serious, is very rare. 1:10 000 - 1:100 000.

  • I love it. You're very respectable for being 13. I feel the same way about a lot of these things. But I just feel like we will never understand the minds of such people, because we just don't live life in there shoes. I don't know what it's like to feel like a different gender. I mean, I'm a girl, but I'm quite "boyish", or so some would say. I like video games and immature dirty humor. I like being what I am. (Besides the stuff like periods... ick). I'm just a girl who is into "stereotypical" boy things. But that does not make me a boy. Its all hypocritical and confusing. Like how do you feel like a boy or girl? Is it because you like the things the other gender likes according to the stereotypes? Because you are a boy, but you like dresses? Or you are a girl who hates dresses? But then aren't you just conforming to the stereotypes more? When these are the types of people who always talk about brakeing stereotypes. Aren't you just living by them too? Or is it because you want a penis, or boobs? I don't think about, and I never have questioned my gender, or sex, or WHATEVER! Because I see my gender as part of who I am, but it does not make my personality... if that makes sense. And it's not all of me either. My vagina does not what is determine the things I like, or who I am. That's why I don't feel a pressure to question my gender, or sex. I'm a person, that likes wearing dresses, playing video games, watching anime (And maybe the occasional hentai), and cracking some immature and dirty jokes. I just happened to be born with a vagina and boobs, so hey, that's just me. That's the truth. I feel like none of that made sense tho... I hope it did. XD

    • Yeah it is quite confusing and I agree your private parts shouldn’t determine how you act.

  • Great post. I'll just add this:

    Transition-Affirming Protocol Is Child Abuse

    The crux of the matter is that while the transition-affirming movement purports to help children, it is inflicting a grave injustice on them and their nondysphoric peers.

    These professionals are using the myth that people are born transgender to justify engaging in massive, uncontrolled, and unconsented experimentation on children who have a psychological condition that would otherwise resolve after puberty in the vast majority of cases.

    Today’s institutions that promote transition affirmation are pushing children to impersonate the opposite sex, sending many of them down the path of puberty blockers, sterilization, the removal of healthy body parts, and untold psychological damage.

    These harms constitute nothing less than institutionalized child abuse. Sound ethics demand an immediate end to the use of pubertal suppression, cross-sex hormones, and sex reassignment surgeries in children and adolescents, as well as an end to promoting gender ideology via school curricula and legislative policies.

    • How the fuck do you think you have any authority to make claims about the psychological effects of being transgender when the ACTUAL PSYCHOLOGISTS disagree with you? Narcissist much?

  • There are only 3 genders.

    Male
    Female
    and Retarded

    • bravo

  • I don't have a problem with transgenders unless they won't stop with things like these ↑ (simply trying to force this on me). I have a problem with the whole non-binary thing.

    There are males and females nothing between. It never was, never will.

  • s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...e59f459be6.jpg

  • Are you sure you're thirteen? You write and express your ideas much, much better than average, and you're also far more politically informed than a typical thirteen year old.

    I agree with you in about all of your statements. If you want people to see you as a girl in jeans, just get long hair or something. Better yet, learn to fabulously deflect those rude assumptions others give you. It can be quite fun making others pay for their little insults.

    Where would you even live where girls don't wear jeans, yet have presumably unrestricted Internet access?

    • Very religious sub-urbs.

    • Ohhh. That's harsh. You're just gonna have to swallow that bitter pill for now.

  • FINALLY! SOMEONE ELSE GETS IT!! *sobs tears as ode to joy plays in background*

    • I can't believe it's taken this long for someone else to realize how many contradictory claims the trans movement makes!

  • Don't worry, there's plenty of 30 year olds with the same amount of ignorance.

  • Okay.

  • Why do so many people here feel the need to be so righteous? It's not hard to try to grant people benefit of the doubt and basic courtesy. Just because it sounds wrong immediately in your head doesn't mean it isn't possible there's some validity to it, and you aren't even being asked to do anything but be nice.

  • I hate when transgenders say that they are now the gender they turned into.

    If you are a man and changed to a woman, you're still a man. Just because you remove your dick and get boobs doesn't make you a woman. You still have male internal organs and your DNA will still classify you as a man.

    • I got a thumbs down for being truthful. Seriously... if you are a man turning into a woman, you are still a man. If you are a woman turning into a man, you are still a woman. Doesn't matter if you mutilate your genitals. Your internal organs define your gender as does your DNA. Sorry, but you know it's true.

    • Transgenders have mental issues and need help

    • Thank God there are still sensible men who are not brainwashed! Have a great day bro

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  • good post

  • Mental illness. Instead of replying to this post explaining why I'm wrong. Tell me reasons why someone who "identifies" as one of these IS NOT mentally unbalanced and or dealing with personality disorder.

    • Because a mental illness has to be harmful to the person to be an illness. Being transgender is not inherently harmful, therefore it is not an illness.

    • @cipher42 mental illness or mental disorders range from mild to severe. More people are walking around with mental illness/disorder than you know, obviously. From your comment I gather you think you have to be a self harming, babbling, lunatic to be considered mentally ill. That's just not how it looks. Simple anxiety to bi polar disorders are considered mental illness/disorders. Ignorance. If you go to a doctor and tell them you are any of these identifiers they will treat the psychological, biological, genetic, environmental, or traumatic cause of these feelings. It isn't normal but that ok.

    • Sweetie, are you a professional psychologist? Because if no, I don't see what authority you have that makes you think your opinion matters more than that of actual trained psychologists. Because according to them, being transgender is not a mental illness, for the very reasons I just gave you.

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  • How does it feel to be a woman, and how does it feel to be a man? This is the question I've been asking for a long time and no one can give me an answer.
    Like, how could you be born in a male body, yet feel like a woman or vice versa?

    Great Take by the way

    • Thanks!

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