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Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

“RJ You don’t write mytakes anymore, you always promise to start doing it again but you don’t. You’re as inconsistent as my father. I’m triggered!” *cry, cry, cry*




Yeah, I know. I’m not gonna give any b/s excuses, I just haven’t felt compelled to write anything but today I have some extra time over my break and I thought this would be a fun/hilarious and possibly informative mytake to put out there into the G@G universe.

Now, if you’re a female (or a male on a female account, I see you) on G@G then you have probably had a plethora of DM’s asking you creepy, perverted questions, if not questions on your responses, and you’ve been invited to a lot of hyper-specific-perv questions that you KNOW are designed to give the asker some spank material.



Because apparently no one has heard of Literotica – there’s more to life than pornhub, hamsterx and hentaitube. You pervs. #hypocrite #outingmyself #butami

Okay, but seriously: if any of you have ever followed my opinions or just happened to notice me around the G@G block, you’ll realize that I often answer sex Q’s either impassively, indirectly, or in a very non-serious, joking way. Sometimes I’ll answer clearly and forwardly, but that depends on the question and how many people have also answered. So, today, I am breaking that habit (RIP Chester Bennington) today and answering some of the perverted questions that I have been asked on G@G.

And no, I’m not making this for spank material sake; this is intended to be light hearted, funny, and a good way for me to get some passive aggressive (barely) pot shots at some pervy G@Gers. Enjoy.

What is your bra size?


I’ve openly answered this before openly but I still get this question a lot – before I made my profile private that is. Still it finds its way to me via the comments or KIK (provided that I entertain your chat request) and the answer isn’t so simple as I’ve commented before.

The answer is “32-34C” depending on the bra. I thought after losing a few lbs that I had to size down my bras, as some of my former collection no longer fit as snuggly. However after some of my new 32C’s not containing the beasts so well, my answer is: 32C in some, 34C in others. Medium to large if it’s a bralette without any padding at all.

WOMEN ARE SO INDECISIVE THAT EVEN THEIR BOOBS CAN’T MAKE UP THEIR MINDS!

HAIL MGTOW!!!

Not nearly as shlong hardening as you thought, huh? I know I probably pissed off a few MGTOWers so here's a gif of some boobs to make up for it.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

How tight is that Pussy?


For every single dude that asked me to put a ruler in my snatch: screw off. If you think for one minute that I’m going to actually ram a plastic/wooden object with EDGES into my crotch for the sake of your weird gratification, you can ram a ruler up your cornhole to measure your booty hymen, and then get back to me.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

Leave a message though, I probably won’t answer.

Anyway, obviously I have no way to measure this accurately, but I will tell you is that the vag is a muscle that can expand and contract, so even if someone could do the above it may not to effect the sex you have the way you think it will. The only way I can answer this question is the same way I answered a question for a G@Ger who had an issue with extreme tightness. While I didn’t have the exact same plight as her, it took me nearly a year to adjust to having sex with my lover of average size comfortably and without mild pain. So hopefully that’s adequate enough, YA NASTY.

Do Girls Love Cum and Fat Loads? DO YOU LOVE CUM AND FAT LOADS?


Obviously some people are different, but for the most part, my experience is women exercise a large indifference to semen, some are even put off by it, but most treat it the same way we treat cherry cough syrup: not great in taste, but it makes you feel good so swallow it anyway.

Ba-dum-tsss.

No, not every girl is like those chicks in porn that like to swish cum between their teeth before they spit it into another girl’s mouth. If you find a girl like that, you’ve either hit a jack pot or a former porn star. Check her resume.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

My personal answer is simple: I’m indifferent to cum. How much you cum, what it tastes like, it goes to the same place anyway, though I will say excessive amounts of it sounds challenging and mildly off-putting. However, not deal breaking or necessarily a turn off. Just a hassle.

Speaking of cum, DO YOU SWALLOW?

If you can do a shot of vodka you can do a shot of man gravy. Fuck if you’ve done a Yager Bomb you have no excuse.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

… Which means yeah, I do. It’s not a big deal. Not like I’m gonna be swallowing yours any time soon so stay cucked and loaded.

ARE YOU A VIRGIN!?!?!


No.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G


Do you love anal?


Never had it but my man and I both don’t like the idea of it so we agreed to leave that one off of the table. For the follow up of: “But if he asked, would you?” once upon a time I would have said no, but I try to be open minded. So I guess I would but I sincerely doubt it’d be my thing. If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t do it again.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

Somehow even the slight possibility of my man getting shit-cock just puts me off. Condom or not. And there ain’t no way in hell I’m douching my asshole – douche your own asshole before expecting me to do that shit. Douche it with Dr. Pepper, you sicko.

Would you let a man worship your feet?


No. That’s weird. I don’t care if it hurts your feelings: licking toes is weird. Wanting me to jerk your cock with feet is weird. I’m allowed to think it’s weird. I’m not oppressing you I’m just exercising an opinion. I’m sure there’s a foot goddess out there for you somewhere but the only way you and my foot are going to partake in anything remotely sexual is if I break my foot off in your ass. And I try to avoid unnecessary violence.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

But at the end of the day, do you. Or, do someone’s … foot. However that process works for you.


Do you fantasize about BBC?


Not in particular, no. Not for it, not against it. Nothing to do with race, nothing to do with size. But I will say that once you get to 10”+ I’m fucking scared.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

Would you practice being a dominatrix?


No. I don’t mind a power struggle in the bedroom, and you can call me sexist if you like but a man being totally submissive to me feels awkwardly … girly, and off putting. Not saying you’re girly if you like being a male sub but I can’t help how I feel about it. However I don’t mind switching things up and taking over, but I’m not about to rape you and make you lick my boots. My boots happen to be nice, and expensive, so keep your damn saliva off of them. You’ll ruin the suede.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G


Also if you dare call me mommy I’m calling your mother and telling her you asked for a paternity test because you clearly seem confused.

Would you let a guy eat food out of your pussy?


No. Infections dude, INFECTIONS.

You want my crotch to from smelling like vanilla ice cream to sour cottage cheese? Keep the food in the bowl, slick.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

Do you shave your pubes?


Most women do. So yeah. I get razor rash sometimes though, and it’s a bitch when that shit gets prickly and stabby by like day 3, but because you have razor rash you gotta use treatment and let it grow back out…


And don’t get me started on the rare times BOILS happen. Always change your razors, ladies! ALWAYS! *shudder*

*I’m trying to kill your boner. Take it.*

Unless you still somehow get off to that, in which case ... you're a true freak.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

What colour is/are your pussy/nipples?


Same colour as my favourite nude lipstick.

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

.... But the question is, WHICH ONE!?!?

Okay, my trolly-b/s aside that was my mytake for the day ladies and gentleman. For anyone who might find any of the above offensive, please bare in mind that I was popping off a few jokes and I meant for this to be humorous, not ill-intended. Even if you read this and you're still offended ... well...

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G

TGIF everybody!

Answering the Perverted Questions I've Gotten on G@G
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous

    This is one of the reasons I mostly post anonymous I rarely get messages like this. I have received a few weird ones which I just ignore but sometimes they are smart and start it of as a question about something with them and their 'girlfriend' then try to turn it sexual and ask things like that so I stop replying when that happens.

    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous

    I've noticed that your replies to questions rarely if ever, add any value to the conversation. It's almost like you've got multiple tabs open, and you're replying to the wrong question. But now I think you just come here to joke around, and that's fine. :)

    Is this still revelant?
    • Lmao thanks?

    • Anonymous

      If you are just joking around, then I applaud you. I have a black belt in sarcasm, and sometimes I don't catch yours.
      I still love you. :)

    • Hey I give thoughtful responses, I'm actually on the highest MHO this week. I admit I don't always give the most thoughtful responses but hey I'm human lol I have off days. Sometimes I do answer sarcastically or jokingly but if anyone asks anything serious I try y best more often than not.

      But then again maybe being around so long has made my responses seem impassive so you might not be wrong. Lol.

    • Show All

What Girls & Guys Said

1245
  • LOL that was awesome!

  • VanessaB

    Damn girl. If you weren't paired up I'd be all over you, haha. I get the BBC questions all the time. Id like to ask some of the black users on here how big theirs actually is, but I don't think there are many left on this site =\

  • SarahsSummer

    "the only way you and my foot are going to partake in anything remotely sexual is if I break my foot off in your ass."

    LOVE THIS! Funny read RJ.

  • YourFutureEx

    You didn't answer my question ;_;

    When will you send nudes to me? >.>

  • WhereAmI

    After reading the 1st two answers and glossing over the rest, all I can say is TMI. If you think perv questions will stop with this mytake, guess again.

    • Not my intention. If you read it I made it more for satirical/comedy reasons.

    • WhereAmI

      You'll probably need another mytake when your inbox overflows with follow up questions.

    • Haha on the contrary; people can only inbox me if I follow them.

  • Topaz171

    "You want my crotch to from smelling like vanilla ice cream to sour cottage cheese?"

    This was GOLD😂 Best MyTake ever lmao

  • mikemx55

    Finally ! All my questions have an answer.

    Now I can delete my account and die in peace.

    • Well don't go and die on me.

    • mikemx55

      Only if you ask nicely ;)

    • Now you're asking for a lot for according to blue anon, I am egotistical and the world revolves around me.

    • Show All
  • Kaylyne

    Just sheer utter brilliance @RJGraveyTrain You never cease to amaze me with your compelling MyTakes. Huge amounts of Kudos. xxx

    • Haha thank you my love <3

    • Kaylyne

      You are of course more than welcome darling. <3 xxx

  • Nadzzz

    lol Jackie you never fail to make me feel so fucking lesbian for your rare intelligence and beauty baby <3 :*

  • tyber1

    "If you can do a shot of vodka you can do a shot of man gravy. Fuck if you’ve done a Yager Bomb you have no excuse."

    You heard it ladies

    • tyber1

      Also... since we are on the topic of invasive questions... is that lipstick you are wearing in your picture? Lol. Can't help myself.

    • Nah but close.

  • Halucinator

    I'm sorry but looks like you posted it out of frustration😂😂

    • Not in the slightest. It was primarily comedy and entertainment.

    • oh okay then
      R rated comedy😂😂

  • Zorax

    Typical Scorpio girl, except the domination part - most of them actually like being dominatrix, well... at least some girls I know :P
    Great Take 😊

    • I'm not a scorpio. :\

    • Zorax

      Really, what are you then, Aries, or maybe Leo?

    • Cancer.

    • Show All
  • Vanjasper

    This was a brilliant read. Funny, truthful and informative.
    Women who suffer from the pervy wank merchants should copy and paste this brilliant take, and use it to answer those desperate and stupid enough to ask anything to have a wank.

  • WhiteSteve

    1.2 cm booty hymen as measured by @MakingMeHiiiigh, 3.2 cm if I'm randy.

    Your move...

  • sovetskii13

    You actually get these questions in your messages? Damn. Those ARE creepy. Feel bad for you. You don't have to reply to all of them. Just erase or ignore. That's what I would do.

  • Paris13

    Good One, hun.
    However, I don't Reply to any Girl or Guy when it Comes to Scum. xx

  • jacquesvol

    I like your sense of humor! :)
    Most of the time when I read one of your answers here I like it.
    But I think I'll forget all details you wrote here sooner than you think.
    Don't be hurt.

  • likitb4istickit

    Are your pubes blonde when they do grow out? You didn't mention that question you no doubt get asked sometimes.

  • SlightlyCrazy

    Your a fucking savage with a side of wifey material. Great post, great boobs, have a great day !

  • RedVulcan

    If you do more of these, along the same lines and in the same damn funny tone, then imma follow.

  • worldscolide

    Good mytake, And nice way to tell them to F Off lol.

  • Jackblue

    I thought I had the distinction of being the only pervert on GAG, oh well.

  • OrdinaryGentleman

    You got those pizza nips i love <3
    Oh and >Jägerbomb

  • Maxemeister

    OOH YEH HERE BE SOME AVID SPANK MATERIAL YE?

    I'm all cucked and loaded lmao

  • Ahmed_Sy15x

    "Would you let a guy eat food out of your pussy?" FUCK! what kind of question is that?

  • AlwaysBelieving

    Wow... I can and can't believe people on here ask these questions. Anyways, nice light hearted take

  • dogfish

    oh i dont answer those seriously. i give them the funniest answers

  • curiouschris1975

    I'm in love , that was awesome 😊.. I never new people get throttled questions like that. Wow 😳

  • Robin48

    I am not interesting. I have better things to do as answering a good question.

  • Himig_Ng_Pag-ibig

    Uhh yeah ohhh yeah ouuh yiii. Do you sell your dirty panties

  • KenM9215

    lol you're a dork. I approve :P

  • CT_CD

    What color is your anus?

  • razor97

    Thats natural. Answering that question you have done, I like little big plannet

  • Darknut123

    Yes, I have to like it! This my take is good!

    • Darknut123

      I always enjoy reading your mytakes. I sit here in my car on lunch break and just surf the site and I keep coming back to the stuff you write. Its well thought out east to read and it's detailed and informative as hell. Certainly are a really good editor

    • Thanks

    • Darknut123

      Absolutely, have a gift don't ever lose it

  • K1NGxDANNY

    Lies I can’t when dm you 😡

    • K1NGxDANNY

      Even*

    • I mention that I made my profile private recently. Lol. This is based on total experience when my account was public and based from other platforms.

    • K1NGxDANNY

      Jackie! I wanna dm you. It’s me Danny the best Mf on the planet earth 😎

  • OlderAndWiser

    Very nice rant! I enjoyed the read.

  • nbbn5

    omg people seriously "pm" you asking these things?

    • max_spy

      I tried to ask her some pervy questions but unfortunately she can receive messages from the people she follows :(

    • nbbn5

      @max_spy lmao hahahah

    • max_spy

      What ya laughin' at? :E

    • Show All
  • Lopezz1999

    Every woman needs to read this..

  • ThisDudeHere

    A nice batch of unnecessary info for the evening.

  • COCOCHANEL

    cucked and loaded LOL

  • disgustingweebtrash

    Interesting

  • Lol nice

  • max_spy

    Nice Take!

  • JustCallMeLeon

    Funny.

  • Lmao

  • Pizzalover101

    Ok you out great thought into to this good job

  • mrdave11

    that was fun

  • eagle1951

    damn

  • y_tho

    Lmao noice m8

  • Anonymous

    Pff, there are lots of perverts like that.
    I had similar "fans", with their disturbing messages.
    The only difference is, I kinda like dominating guys, all the time, but I agree with you on the rest of the answers.

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