So you are a single adult and you don't feel like staying sex deprived until you are ready to meet your next serious partner. One night stands are not really practical. You have an attractive trustworthy friend who is available for low-key sex and you're like "why not?"
I will tell you "why not?"
1. The last thing you want is unrequited feelings.
Avoid as much as you want, this is inevitable. Bad news is, it is much more likely to happen to women than to men. Ladies, our bodies produce an abundance of chemicals in anticipation of and in response to sex, creating mood-boosting properties similar to anti-depressants. These include, but aren’t limited to, oxytocin, vasopressin, and norepinephrine. And the more often we have sex with any one partner, the more of this Chemical cocktail our bodies release. And guess what? That cocktail is highly addictive.
Meaning? We get stuck on partners even when we don’t want to. While this happens to more than 3/4 women, it only happens to 1/4 men, usually inexperienced/virgin men. Worse, if you're not condom fans and he usually nuts in you, about 97% of what’s in semen isn’t sperm; it’s biochemical warfare that gets you uber-hooked on him, but doesn't do the same thing to him. For the other 3/4 Men. Their bodies produce the chemical cocktail, too, but only if they have a long lead-in before sex. Evolutionary psychologists (not me) say it’s a mechanism that protects men from investing their hearts, wallets, and parts further south in temporary women who are likely to cheat; factually, she who is Hard To Get is usually more faithful post-commitment, (according to them) so genetically, men are primed to value the chase.
So long story short, ladies, sex will make you catch feeling that your partner will not be happy with in 75% of the cases.
2. You will never communicate enough, which automatically means it will not last.
You don't want to seem vulnerable, weak. You don't talk about your link, you don't discuss your relationship. You are afraid your honesty will freak your partner out or push them away. You don't ask them to stay over although you want them to. You kinda just want to cuddle but they might misinterpret it. You don't talk openly, you supress your feelings and don't express yourself. You end up frustrated. It isn't good for your mental health.
3. By the time you start being friends with benefits, you stop being friends.
Yes it's cool at first, you hang out and laugh and be great friends and just have sex when you feel like it, but then things change. In a relationship, you are your partner's only gf/bf, they make time for you, and it is psychologically reassuring. In a friends with benefits thing, you are not your friend's only friend. Eventually, they will go and spend time with their other friends and do their thing and only hit you up when they are horny. At this point, they become your selfish fuckbuddy instead of friend, and you start feeling used, and it crashes your self-esteem, and ruins your link.
Eventually, after your thing ends, you have very little chance of re-establishing the friendship you had in the past.
4. You probably don't want the drama of an non-exclusive relationship either.
Your partner is free to see other people and so are you. You probably don't want to ask them to avoid seeming desperate but you have high risk of catching an STD when you are in a non-exclusive relationship. Let's not imagine the dramatic question of "whose baby could this be?". Yup it happened before. It could happen to you too.
5. You deserve better than that.
Yes. you deserve better than a person who is not willing to make the slightest effort for your wellbeing. You deserve someone who thinks you are enough. You deserve someone who thinks you deserve to be committed to. Anyone else is a waste of your youth. And if you are a person with commitment issues, do not take them out on another person. Heal your commitment issues and insecurities Individually or they will spread like a disease in your togetherness.
Gentlemen, do not waste your best testosterone years on lame girls. Ladies, do not waste your best boob years on lame guys.
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