Is Our Sexuality Dysfunctional as a Result of Porn?

Is Our Sexuality Dysfunctional as a Result of Porn?

I've just read a post on here from a young lady asking "how ofter do you fantisise about throat fucking?" Obviously directed at men I mean you can't fuck throats with vaginas and if they can reach the throat (and i ain't judging) but you got a fucking problem! Just saying. Anyhow This made me question the role that media (this includes pornography especially porn) has in society as far as how we view each other as opposite sexes in a sexual capacity. My view when I read this girl question was this, (brace yourself, you may need a kindle to read this cause my response wasn't half hearted)...

"This is not a functional sexual practice (throat fucking) it's just through hypersexualisation of men through porn and the media we fantasise about shit like this! We treat each other like objects and fuck dolls! It feels much better when really respecting and using sex like a conduit to connection with someone on an emotional level whilst taking care of each others physical pleasure! Feel much better and more satisfying! If you want a man who treats you like that well that is sad but you live and learn I guess. There's a lot more to you as a woman then just your sex appeal or sexuality or how much you appeal to men in comparison to other women!! Nothing wrong with female sexuality don't get it twisted!!! That should be celebrated but in a way that isn't taking away your humanity and making you an inanimate comodity for men to use to get one off! Ladies know your worth!"

My opinion is that in a general sense it impacts women in a negative way. I think women are made to feel that they have to live up to the impossible beauty standards of the media and are to feel insucure about their appearance. Porn is geared towards male satisfaction and portrays the women on screen as nothing more than body parts that exist for male gratification, this surely give young women the message that they have to appeal to men in sexual capacity and that how willing they are to be objectified equals what they're worth. There is no avoiding this message for women, I mean look how sexual a lot of womens clothing is compared to men.

Is Our Sexuality Dysfunctional as a Result of Porn?

For young men the message isn't that women are people with feelings and needs of their own but that they are a meat puppet that is willing to be used. I feel that this impairs peoples ability to have real compassion and emotional understanding. Porn is highly addictive and alters your state of mind with the altering levels of dopemine and othe neuro-chemicals (thats a lesson for another day) and when the soft porn doesn't cut it you move on to more hardcore until that dosnt cut it and it can even get to the stage that the only way you can get a release of dopamine is to watch things that aren't in alignment with how you feel naturally i.e. Straight men watching gay porn or things like beastiality etc. (There is a whole movement and a lot of info on this subject so google it if you want to know more).

This begs the question is it really condusive to the natural human condition to have fetishes and other manifestations of sexuality that may or may not stem from porn or is it something inherently dysfunctional within humanity in general? I'm an example of a man who was addicted to porn and has felt first hand the affects that it has on a mans attitude towards women. I've overcome this and I view women with a much larger degree of humanity, I mean I didn't veiw them as alien or animals but merely as body parts that were there to be ogled and during sexual intercourse to be fucked aswell as ogled. This was automatic and sub conscious although I knew deep down I didn't really view women this way and it's not at all how I felt about them so in essence I was just avoiding myself and hiding behind 'I'm a man, I love tits and ass and boys will be boys' like it somehow earned me respct.

My conclusion is this, I think men and women have to start listening to our own feelings more and make an effort stop consuming any media that causes us to view others as objects. We need to connect with ourselves first and then with others. We are sexual beings and it's the reason we're all here, it's the cause to our effect and it's beautiful and therefore I think it's important to experience it in a way that isn't the result of dysfuntional beliefs and low self worth and emotional disconnection.

Is Our Sexuality Dysfunctional as a Result of Porn?

Thank you for reading if you got this far you deserve a medal. I'm not a pro writer so this may have some loose ends. Please leave your opinions thank you!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Totally agree.
    Porn to some degree has always existed but by far not as widely available and explicit as it is now.
    And we don't even know the full effects that it has on our psyche because there's no control group. Everyone, even under 18 has watched it. Imagine there was no control group for smoking or drinking we would have never known it was bad.
    But all the research that there is on it show that it's terrible for both men and women

    Boys and Girls mostly watch porn before they have sex. So porn establishes their idea of normal. So that like you said something rather extreme and for most women uncomfortable, like throat fucking becomes the norm and expected.
    And I totally agree that women get the impression they HAVE to do this even if it hurts. And a lot of guys also get the impression women have to do this. And they also have no idea how to actually pleasure a woman.

    • look there are 2 sides for everything, it has a good side and a bad side, first look at the good side, if there was no porn then i would have thought that sex is only about putting my dick in girls vagina and little kisses and then just cum, while porn has taught me a lot of thinngs to experiment about like bdsm, umm throat fucking isn't bad i guess its just like eating vagina with a bit aggressive way, it hasn't changed my perception about them, i think they are lovely creatures, porn has revolutionized sex, it is like a research in any subject, we can debate about anything like how we run lesser than our ancestors coz they didn't have cars, well it may be like that, but we dont discuss and their are lots of things like that which we can argue about, the point is we should not eat drink and sleep porn

    • i think that it comes down to a lack of education... when i was at school sex education was a joke, wear a condom that was it. and when you watch films like American pie and they go on about the fathers chat with his boy, that never happened, and i dont have many mate that mums or dads had that chat with them. we grew up in a culture where the girl was told dont sleep around or you'll be a slut and son go out and have sex with as many people as possible and that will make you a man. so where were we supposed to get sex ed from if not from porn. we need to learn from this a teach the younger generation about love and sex in a relationship not one night stands and being a man by fucking as many women as possible. call me old fassion but i dont talk about sex with my wife to my mates as its private but some of my mates do and what they say i feel sorry for there partners as its degrading. so there is a lot to be learned, too much and bad stuff is wrong but a little in the right form is ok

    • @unrealisticmormon2 of course you wouldn't say that it has changed your perception. You likely wouldn't even know. I think it's a bit funny that so many guys come out here saying it hasn't they changed their perception of women, like that statement alone proves anything You don't even know how you would view women and sex if you had never watched porn. If you're like most people you were a teenager when you first watched. Way before you could "grow" into your own perception. Like it or not, porn has changed the way you see women and sex in reality. No one is really denying that I think, it's just a question of how much? And well all the studies show that it's A LOT. Men who watch porn view women more as objects than men who don't. Sure maybe correlation doesn't imply causation, but at best porn is fueling objectifying behavior, at worst it's creating it And people tried different things in bed long before porn

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah i agree. I'm guilty of watching porn like this but obviously i know that in real life you shouldn't actually do that. I seriously don't think porn other than sensual porn definitely not good for men.

    • Yeah see at least you know man

    • watching 2 people have sex while you jerk off in the corner... kind of sounds like a cuck xD

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What Girls & Guys Said

20 42
  • Wow, what a concept - great Take! :) If it wasn't one thing that women are pressured by beauty standards in the media - now it's quite possible they feel sexually pressured with thanks to porn.

    I actually wondered a few years back if porn wasn't just any different than the social-media culture of one-upping everyone. It seemed that 'normal sex' just wasn't enough, just like someone's Facebook life had to add travel, great selfies, deep thoughts, and thousands of contacts. We seem to live in a world where 'leveling up' is addictive. We have to keep reaching until we have either caught up with or surpassed someone's expectation.

    With porn, I remember when guys just rented videos and it contained the usual vanilla sex, plus some threesomes, maybe some weird positions, but that was basically it. It was *all* the same.

    Now with social-media style porn sites, people are trying to make money and how better to do it than to be crazier than the last fucker?

    People in the industry aren't so stupid. They saw the demand and began delivering the goods. The problem is, just as your Take is alluding to, it's giving normal couples the wrong message. Ladies shouldn't have to feel like they have to throw away their [sexual] virtues and inhibitions to do something like shit on their man's face just because he happened to have that sort of stuff on his browser history.

    Women are constantly feeling as though they have to be 'better than the last girl' never mind better than the last porn star their man just watched. Remember too, with sexually inexperienced attention whores, bragging about a crazy sexcapade is a bit of a game too. Even the term 'vanilla sex' has been the source of some teasing. The more wild, the better. For some, this isn't an option.

    It's too bad that it's come to this. It hasn't affected my own sex life, but I can imagine younger women hoping to impress by trying to one-up a guy's last experience. It doesn't surprise me she'll go to great lengths to do something she's not comfortable with just because she thinks she has to.

    • couldn't agree more. the danger with it as well is that if you spend a lot of time masturbating which a lot of guys do given the easy access to porn it becomes dull, you end up 'chasing the high' looking for increasingly extreme stuff to stimulate you. I know people that now have trouble getting it up outside of very extreme sexual acts because their desensitized to it and while those acts might occur a lot in porn they don't tend to in real life and it has huge impacts on finding relationships

  • I wish there were a lot of men like u

    • Im one of a kind

    • :) :)

  • "This is not a functional sexual practice (throat fucking)"

    You are not the arbiter of what does and does not constitute a functional sexual practice.

    "We treat each other like objects and fuck dolls!"

    We have the freedom to do so. You also act like this isn't at least better than complete and utter apathy that the majority of humanity has towards its fellow man. Maybe talk about that instead of crying about what turns people on.

    "There's a lot more to you as a woman then just your sex appeal or sexuality or how much you appeal to men in comparison to other women!!"

    You are attacking a position that no one is really taking. Repeatedly railing against freedom of choice and consensual sexual kink.

    "For young men the message isn't that women are people with feelings and needs of their own but that they are a meat puppet that is willing to be used. I feel that this impairs peoples ability to have real compassion and emotional understanding."

    Take off that white suit of armor and grow up.

    "Porn is highly addictive and alters your state of mind with the altering levels of dopemine and othe neuro-chemicals"

    Many things are addictive. Let's ban everything!

    "and when the soft porn doesn't cut it you move on to more hardcore until that dosnt cut it and it can even get to the stage that the only way you can get a release of dopamine is to watch things that aren't in alignment with how you feel naturally i. e. Straight men watching gay porn or things like beastiality etc."

    Holy shit, someone help me! I'm sliding down this slippery slope (fallacy) !

    "This begs the question is it really condusive to the natural human condition to have fetishes and other manifestations of sexuality"

    Yep.

    "I'm an example of a man who was addicted to porn and has felt first hand the affects that it has on a mans attitude towards women."

    While I'm not addicted to porn, I certainly watch enough of it and my respect for women hasn't changed at all. Our anecdotal evidence cancels each other out. Not everyone is mentally weak.

    If you don't want to watch porn, then don't. Let other people do what they want. Whether you like it or not, not everyone is a catch, relationship-wise. Whether it be physicality, lack of wealth, mental instability, etc. Some people just want to get on with their lives and sometimes get a bit of sexual relief by watching attractive men and women get naked and rub genitals for twenty minutes.

    Let's let them.



    • Smartest response here. Nice.

  • I'm a perfect example.
    I got acquainted to porn at age 10. Due to serious parental incompetence I could indulge in POM uncontrolled. Due to prolonged isolation after highschool and ever growing urges, porn had driven me
    to almost abuse my sister at age 16. The realisation had left me traumatized, and 10 years later I'm still trying to entangle and resolve the various issues around it. Two months ago I was still practicing POM regularly, until I realized, that the prevalence of my fantasies about exactly OP's stated example of non functional sexual practice has gotten to a point, where I can't have any prospect for a healthy relationship anymore.
    So I'm now trying to rehabilitate my self.
    If I ever get to experience the joy of love, I yearn for it to be as innoscently as possible, and I fear deeply, that it won't be possible anymore.

    So, yes, porn can definitely cause disfunctional sexuality, aswell as all kinds of other issues. It is very much a problem.
    But I believe it isn't the only one. The cause for people to excessively consume porn are most likely various sociological deficits, and porn is just a very bad and very easy to access substitute solution.

  • What's wrong with throat fuc-ing?

    • well said, its really hot

    • @malealpha00 It's degrading, most likely unpleasant, and possibly dangerous for the one being fuc-ed. At some point, the stimulus will transcend to a thrill of adrenaline in the suffocating aspect of the act, rendering it a form of brutality. That is what is wrong with it. And as far as I have seen, most porn about it has a tendency to promote this view.

    • @Swiss_Tengu it turns me on though lol

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  • Love watching porn but... I have to be in the mood for it

  • Great take 👍.
    I love normal sex, it feels really close and affectionate. My husband and I are both equals in the bedroom and when we want to try something different we talk about it first. My husband asked if he could do something to me one night, it wasn't going to hurt me so I said yes. He only did it the once and relised that it wasn't as good as he thought it would be, or as a porn video made it out to be.
    No more porn in our house.
    Things done in a porn shoot aren't really as good as it's made out to be.
    The fact is that some of the women are treated so badly by the male porn stars it puts them in a state of submission.

  • I never really understood the appeal of porn, I don't get off on watching other people bang.

  • i seriously agree with you, iv watched a lot of porn and all men do is "fuck hard wen she says (stop or ouch) slaps and hit her like damestic and more" but im not saying all men are like that i mean like some men who think porn is a reality like hitting and fucking her till she crys, teens that watch porn get the wrong idea of porn like for EX (guy hits girl while fucking her) now he thinks its right to do tht, in humanity and society that were living in is ridiculous cuz the sharia muslims and rape and peados and all tht shit and hardcore sex is included to, i honestly think tht sex age shuld lower, porn acourse shuld stay but no hardcore shit thts pathetic shit showing tht women are useless and used sex ONLY as well as being raped, assaulted and hit. ima be honest if it was up to me id change society and humanity cuz im growing up with ghetto and drugs and sex at only 14yrs old knocked up at 15 i think sex at 14 is good but prego at 15 "really😕" thts dumb, like i said i totally agree with u 100% and im sorry the topic kinda changed i wasn't tryna do tht but im sorry if i did, if u want explain more feel free to text me or watevs🌹💜✌

  • Porn does create sexual dysfunction.

    A woman I know (she is totally hot) has a husband addicted to porn. As a result he over-stimulated his mind and can't even get it up looking at porn.

    If he'd stop looking at it, his mind would heal as a woman's naked body wouldn't look so ordinary to him. And he'd be able to achieve an erection with his wife.

  • Well porn isn't something that erected overnight
    People obviously did those things before they decided to make videos

    I guess the question is who was the bright smart ass girl to put her mouth on her bf's penis... now famously called a bj

    • lol "erected"

    • @frozenhorizon 😂😂

    • Thats depicted in ancient civilizations as well and id guess back in tribal times. It was a good idea though since it doesn't mean getting pregnant and she could persuade the tribesmen to do things without risking getting pregnant and with a lower risk of STDs as well. in victorian and fronter broth halls before the times of condoms they supposedly mostly did oral for that reason.

  • I completely agree with the throat fucking. Don't do it! Porn is theatrical, best to limit or learn how to please a woman. That is a true art.

    • Well it lack any empathy. And thats what you need in real life to consider your partners needs

  • Excellent post, 100% agree with it. As a society we have screwed sex up so much.

    Nofap is our strength.

  • No. I watch a lot of porn. I Respect women. No function issues. Can come on control.

  • If it wasn't for porn, like 65% of men and 10% of women would have no "sexuality" at all.

    Most people, that's as close to being loved as they ever get, watching a video of somebody else receiving pleasure. That's as much love as most people ever get to taste.

    Before you take that away, better think about what you plan to replace it with.

    • It should be social interactions and meaningful bonds, but society and has various flaws, that makes it very difficult, if not impossible for many people. So it's not about replacing it, it's about solving the underlying issues.

    • @Swiss_Tengu Yeah, well, here's the underlying issue to solve:

      http://i.imgur.com/vvP6Srk.jpg

    • In essence, yes. in my opinion, education is the best solution to this. But I fear the situation is dire enough to call for publicly governed birthcontrol and eugenics. Democratical government doesn't work well, if stupidity represents the majority.

  • I honestly believe it is. People don't have a healthy idea of what sex is. A lot of people have these horrible fantasies. I get fetishes, but some of them are very deluded. A lot of males don't even know what a woman's body actually looks like, and when they see one, they're appalled by it. A lot of younger females are even self conscious about a normal looking body.

  • Thanks for sharing!

  • There is at least one decent porn site that feature real couples, but it's a rarity (if not unique).

    People need to understand that just because something is possible, doesn't make it pleasurable, and that sex that's not pleasurable to both partners borders on rape. Of course, when I was growing up, mainstream films were showing women getting pleasure from rape, which was not helpful.

  • You don’t need porn to get altered into fantasizing about throat fckn because there are many women right on this site that talk about it as their main sexual event and talk it up. But yes your take is on target.

    • Well but come one how would being throat fucked be enjoyable

    • Where did I say or imply that? You have to ask them.

    • You said they talk it up mate

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  • Sex is meant to be fun, exciting, and varied. I would say forcing yourself to be content with just missionary for the rest of your life is just as dysfunctional.

    Most porn is not the more extreme stuff with actual throat fucking and gagging and all the rest of it.

    • I never said just hump purely to reproduce mate! I said that we should understand how porn numbs us and that being empathic makes great sex! You can experiment and shit you can do what the fuck you want, frankly man you could tie a rope to your penis and jump from a tree and i wouldn't give a fuck! Im just saying people aren't objects amd connection should be a main aspect of sex and when i spoke of dysfunction i meant that there are a lot of subconscious psycological motivations behind fetishes that come from things like abuse and neglect!

    • And i say should* because i feel that if none of us were damaged in emotional ways or had voids we wanted to fill we wouldn't be taken advantage of or used or willing to inflict pain! We should view each other as human

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