Is Our Sexuality Dysfunctional as a Result of Porn?

I've just read a post on here from a young lady asking "how ofter do you fantisise about throat fucking?" Obviously directed at men I mean you can't fuck throats with vaginas and if they can reach the throat (and i ain't judging) but you got a fucking problem! Just saying. Anyhow This made me question the role that media (this includes pornography especially porn) has in society as far as how we view each other as opposite sexes in a sexual capacity. My view when I read this girl question was this, (brace yourself, you may need a kindle to read this cause my response wasn't half hearted)...

"This is not a functional sexual practice (throat fucking) it's just through hypersexualisation of men through porn and the media we fantasise about shit like this! We treat each other like objects and fuck dolls! It feels much better when really respecting and using sex like a conduit to connection with someone on an emotional level whilst taking care of each others physical pleasure! Feel much better and more satisfying! If you want a man who treats you like that well that is sad but you live and learn I guess. There's a lot more to you as a woman then just your sex appeal or sexuality or how much you appeal to men in comparison to other women!! Nothing wrong with female sexuality don't get it twisted!!! That should be celebrated but in a way that isn't taking away your humanity and making you an inanimate comodity for men to use to get one off! Ladies know your worth!"

My opinion is that in a general sense it impacts women in a negative way. I think women are made to feel that they have to live up to the impossible beauty standards of the media and are to feel insucure about their appearance. Porn is geared towards male satisfaction and portrays the women on screen as nothing more than body parts that exist for male gratification, this surely give young women the message that they have to appeal to men in sexual capacity and that how willing they are to be objectified equals what they're worth. There is no avoiding this message for women, I mean look how sexual a lot of womens clothing is compared to men.

For young men the message isn't that women are people with feelings and needs of their own but that they are a meat puppet that is willing to be used. I feel that this impairs peoples ability to have real compassion and emotional understanding. Porn is highly addictive and alters your state of mind with the altering levels of dopemine and othe neuro-chemicals (thats a lesson for another day) and when the soft porn doesn't cut it you move on to more hardcore until that dosnt cut it and it can even get to the stage that the only way you can get a release of dopamine is to watch things that aren't in alignment with how you feel naturally i.e. Straight men watching gay porn or things like beastiality etc. (There is a whole movement and a lot of info on this subject so google it if you want to know more).

This begs the question is it really condusive to the natural human condition to have fetishes and other manifestations of sexuality that may or may not stem from porn or is it something inherently dysfunctional within humanity in general? I'm an example of a man who was addicted to porn and has felt first hand the affects that it has on a mans attitude towards women. I've overcome this and I view women with a much larger degree of humanity, I mean I didn't veiw them as alien or animals but merely as body parts that were there to be ogled and during sexual intercourse to be fucked aswell as ogled. This was automatic and sub conscious although I knew deep down I didn't really view women this way and it's not at all how I felt about them so in essence I was just avoiding myself and hiding behind 'I'm a man, I love tits and ass and boys will be boys' like it somehow earned me respct.

My conclusion is this, I think men and women have to start listening to our own feelings more and make an effort stop consuming any media that causes us to view others as objects. We need to connect with ourselves first and then with others. We are sexual beings and it's the reason we're all here, it's the cause to our effect and it's beautiful and therefore I think it's important to experience it in a way that isn't the result of dysfuntional beliefs and low self worth and emotional disconnection.

Thank you for reading if you got this far you deserve a medal. I'm not a pro writer so this may have some loose ends. Please leave your opinions thank you!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Totally agree.
    Porn to some degree has always existed but by far not as widely available and explicit as it is now.
    And we don't even know the full effects that it has on our psyche because there's no control group. Everyone, even under 18 has watched it. Imagine there was no control group for smoking or drinking we would have never known it was bad.
    But all the research that there is on it show that it's terrible for both men and women

    Boys and Girls mostly watch porn before they have sex. So porn establishes their idea of normal. So that like you said something rather extreme and for most women uncomfortable, like throat fucking becomes the norm and expected.
    And I totally agree that women get the impression they HAVE to do this even if it hurts. And a lot of guys also get the impression women have to do this. And they also have no idea how to actually pleasure a woman.

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    • look there are 2 sides for everything, it has a good side and a bad side, first look at the good side, if there was no porn then i would have thought that sex is only about putting my dick in girls vagina and little kisses and then just cum, while porn has taught me a lot of thinngs to experiment about like bdsm, umm throat fucking isn't bad i guess its just like eating vagina with a bit aggressive way, it hasn't changed my perception about them, i think they are lovely creatures, porn has revolutionized sex, it is like a research in any subject, we can debate about anything like how we run lesser than our ancestors coz they didn't have cars, well it may be like that, but we dont discuss and their are lots of things like that which we can argue about, the point is we should not eat drink and sleep porn

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    • @unrealisticmormon2 the reason women are objectified is because of the content of the video. The way they are treated in porn. Not because of who is watching.
      Women who watch porn also more so self objectify than women who don't

      So try again

    • i can say for myself that i dont objectify women and they are just humans like other and i have great respect for them as they do great job in form of mothers, sisters, and daughters and wives but you may be right too but whats the solution coz technology has advanced so much and people dont give a fuck about how various things are changing them, porn is just one aspect of technology as it has made it accessible to everyone as it just a touch away from us but there are things to worry about as well like driverless cars, do you think driver less cars would be able to save your lives and act according to our emotions

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah i agree. I'm guilty of watching porn like this but obviously i know that in real life you shouldn't actually do that. I seriously don't think porn other than sensual porn definitely not good for men.

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    • Yeah see at least you know man

    • watching 2 people have sex while you jerk off in the corner... kind of sounds like a cuck xD

Join the discussion

What Girls Said 20

  • Wow, what a concept - great Take! :) If it wasn't one thing that women are pressured by beauty standards in the media - now it's quite possible they feel sexually pressured with thanks to porn.

    I actually wondered a few years back if porn wasn't just any different than the social-media culture of one-upping everyone. It seemed that 'normal sex' just wasn't enough, just like someone's Facebook life had to add travel, great selfies, deep thoughts, and thousands of contacts. We seem to live in a world where 'leveling up' is addictive. We have to keep reaching until we have either caught up with or surpassed someone's expectation.

    With porn, I remember when guys just rented videos and it contained the usual vanilla sex, plus some threesomes, maybe some weird positions, but that was basically it. It was *all* the same.

    Now with social-media style porn sites, people are trying to make money and how better to do it than to be crazier than the last fucker?

    People in the industry aren't so stupid. They saw the demand and began delivering the goods. The problem is, just as your Take is alluding to, it's giving normal couples the wrong message. Ladies shouldn't have to feel like they have to throw away their [sexual] virtues and inhibitions to do something like shit on their man's face just because he happened to have that sort of stuff on his browser history.

    Women are constantly feeling as though they have to be 'better than the last girl' never mind better than the last porn star their man just watched. Remember too, with sexually inexperienced attention whores, bragging about a crazy sexcapade is a bit of a game too. Even the term 'vanilla sex' has been the source of some teasing. The more wild, the better. For some, this isn't an option.

    It's too bad that it's come to this. It hasn't affected my own sex life, but I can imagine younger women hoping to impress by trying to one-up a guy's last experience. It doesn't surprise me she'll go to great lengths to do something she's not comfortable with just because she thinks she has to.

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    • couldn't agree more. the danger with it as well is that if you spend a lot of time masturbating which a lot of guys do given the easy access to porn it becomes dull, you end up 'chasing the high' looking for increasingly extreme stuff to stimulate you. I know people that now have trouble getting it up outside of very extreme sexual acts because their desensitized to it and while those acts might occur a lot in porn they don't tend to in real life and it has huge impacts on finding relationships

  • Great take ๐Ÿ‘.
    I love normal sex, it feels really close and affectionate. My husband and I are both equals in the bedroom and when we want to try something different we talk about it first. My husband asked if he could do something to me one night, it wasn't going to hurt me so I said yes. He only did it the once and relised that it wasn't as good as he thought it would be, or as a porn video made it out to be.
    No more porn in our house.
    Things done in a porn shoot aren't really as good as it's made out to be.
    The fact is that some of the women are treated so badly by the male porn stars it puts them in a state of submission.

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  • i seriously agree with you, iv watched a lot of porn and all men do is "fuck hard wen she says (stop or ouch) slaps and hit her like damestic and more" but im not saying all men are like that i mean like some men who think porn is a reality like hitting and fucking her till she crys, teens that watch porn get the wrong idea of porn like for EX (guy hits girl while fucking her) now he thinks its right to do tht, in humanity and society that were living in is ridiculous cuz the sharia muslims and rape and peados and all tht shit and hardcore sex is included to, i honestly think tht sex age shuld lower, porn acourse shuld stay but no hardcore shit thts pathetic shit showing tht women are useless and used sex ONLY as well as being raped, assaulted and hit. ima be honest if it was up to me id change society and humanity cuz im growing up with ghetto and drugs and sex at only 14yrs old knocked up at 15 i think sex at 14 is good but prego at 15 "really๐Ÿ˜•" thts dumb, like i said i totally agree with u 100% and im sorry the topic kinda changed i wasn't tryna do tht but im sorry if i did, if u want explain more feel free to text me or watevs๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’œโœŒ

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  • If That's all you ever see and aren't exposed to the realities of sex then that's all you'll ever know. That is why when I have children I will explain to them that what they see on these sites is nothing like how sex should be with a partner you love.

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    • Porn isn't controllable, even u make it understandable
      Its all about lust

  • I wish there were a lot of men like u

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  • What's wrong with throat fuc-ing?

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    • well said, its really hot

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    • see, lots of chicks enjoy it and it feels awesome!

    • how to increase my xper level its just stuck at one, i really have to message someone and it won't let me. please hep me

  • I honestly believe it is. People don't have a healthy idea of what sex is. A lot of people have these horrible fantasies. I get fetishes, but some of them are very deluded. A lot of males don't even know what a woman's body actually looks like, and when they see one, they're appalled by it. A lot of younger females are even self conscious about a normal looking body.

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  • I completely agree with the throat fucking. Don't do it! Porn is theatrical, best to limit or learn how to please a woman. That is a true art.

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    • Well it lack any empathy. And thats what you need in real life to consider your partners needs

  • Love watching porn but... I have to be in the mood for it

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  • I never really understood the appeal of porn, I don't get off on watching other people bang.

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  • No. Porn can be helpful in a certain way depending on how we view it.

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    • Yet in the same instance, porn influences soon to be criminals to act on these desires in reality once the dopamine wears off from video stimulation. Ted Bundy now deceased rapist and killer has admitted that himself and all other convicts were heavily addicted to pornography. Ted, grew up in a normal home, porn ruined his life and many others.

      Is there a much safer and constructive way to teach kids? Yes, and kids should have sexuality shoved down their throats anyway. Why do they need to learn about sex in the 6th grade? Why does it even effect them? They don't learn about billing or finance, which are adult issues, yet they learn about sex? Its messed up

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    • @unrealisticmormon2
      In contrary. I have read various articles, which state, that self gratification greatly impacts selfcontrol, aswell as moral judgement, since all of these are conducted by, and conduct themselfs, the same hormones in the brain (I think it was dopamine in the frontal lobe but don't quote me on that).
      So even people with high selfcontrol will lose it eventually, if exposed to sexual satisfaction the wrong way too often.
      And yes, it is especially a problem for kids and teens, since they don't have a lot of selfcontrol and are prone to be imprinted with bad ideas, ideals and habits.
      The lack of control over this media is the problem, and it is everyones responsibility.

    • @Swiss_Tengu Very true, Porn is a terrible thing along with other things like drugs and alcohol abuse.

  • Couldn't agree more. Now I wish more guys would understand this

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  • Im a girl and i love watching porn in which girls are objects. Sometimes, i even search misogyny porn or degradation porn. It was a good video, thats what girls are for" Objectification at its best. I never orgasmed harder. Men are objectified too in porn. They rarely even show their face. They are walking dicks.

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    • I can't deny there are cases like you aswell, but I think the majority doesn't think like that.
      (This sounds like a demand for mytake statistics, but I don't know how to formulate it in a meaningful way...)
      Would you like it, if someone treated you like that in reality? There is quite a range of misogyny and objectification, often grading into brutality. Where do you draw the line?

  • Yeah l think porn has a big effect on it

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  • Porn has caused me to develop fetishes like pegging, bondage, and men in panties. I feel like I'll never meet someone in real life who will let me explore this stuff with them.
    I'm also terrified of finding someone who has freakier fetishes-like vomit/urine/scat/Gore- things that I would never want to participate in, and disappoint them sexually. I feel hypocritical for that.

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    • Na fuck it man scat is disgusting anyone who does that fuck up shit can stay away from me! They aren't condusive to real sexuality its all twisted up subconscious wounds and traumas manifesting sexually!

    • I like sesuality, connection and things that are nice!

    • men in panties LOOOOOL im sorry but I did not see that coming. bondage is pretty common and stuff but that? lol still laughing.

  • Probably yeah

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  • Yes it is. Good take :)

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  • Very good, and not badly written at all. I'm not anti-porn by any stretch, but I think it has to be viewed with a critical eye.

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  • I think the natural way of sex is only Viginal sex.
    Throat and ass fucking is not natural kind of sex it is just happened for male hyper sexuality because male has penis and he can get pleasure through ass and throat fucking or hand job also. But can get the pleasure of sex only through Viginal sex not through ass and throat or hand job.

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  • Very interesting!

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What Guys Said 42

  • "This is not a functional sexual practice (throat fucking)"

    You are not the arbiter of what does and does not constitute a functional sexual practice.

    "We treat each other like objects and fuck dolls!"

    We have the freedom to do so. You also act like this isn't at least better than complete and utter apathy that the majority of humanity has towards its fellow man. Maybe talk about that instead of crying about what turns people on.

    "There's a lot more to you as a woman then just your sex appeal or sexuality or how much you appeal to men in comparison to other women!!"

    You are attacking a position that no one is really taking. Repeatedly railing against freedom of choice and consensual sexual kink.

    "For young men the message isn't that women are people with feelings and needs of their own but that they are a meat puppet that is willing to be used. I feel that this impairs peoples ability to have real compassion and emotional understanding."

    Take off that white suit of armor and grow up.

    "Porn is highly addictive and alters your state of mind with the altering levels of dopemine and othe neuro-chemicals"

    Many things are addictive. Let's ban everything!

    "and when the soft porn doesn't cut it you move on to more hardcore until that dosnt cut it and it can even get to the stage that the only way you can get a release of dopamine is to watch things that aren't in alignment with how you feel naturally i. e. Straight men watching gay porn or things like beastiality etc."

    Holy shit, someone help me! I'm sliding down this slippery slope (fallacy) !

    "This begs the question is it really condusive to the natural human condition to have fetishes and other manifestations of sexuality"

    Yep.

    "I'm an example of a man who was addicted to porn and has felt first hand the affects that it has on a mans attitude towards women."

    While I'm not addicted to porn, I certainly watch enough of it and my respect for women hasn't changed at all. Our anecdotal evidence cancels each other out. Not everyone is mentally weak.

    If you don't want to watch porn, then don't. Let other people do what they want. Whether you like it or not, not everyone is a catch, relationship-wise. Whether it be physicality, lack of wealth, mental instability, etc. Some people just want to get on with their lives and sometimes get a bit of sexual relief by watching attractive men and women get naked and rub genitals for twenty minutes.

    Let's let them.



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  • I'm a perfect example.
    I got acquainted to porn at age 10. Due to serious parental incompetence I could indulge in POM uncontrolled. Due to prolonged isolation after highschool and ever growing urges, porn had driven me
    to almost abuse my sister at age 16. The realisation had left me traumatized, and 10 years later I'm still trying to entangle and resolve the various issues around it. Two months ago I was still practicing POM regularly, until I realized, that the prevalence of my fantasies about exactly OP's stated example of non functional sexual practice has gotten to a point, where I can't have any prospect for a healthy relationship anymore.
    So I'm now trying to rehabilitate my self.
    If I ever get to experience the joy of love, I yearn for it to be as innoscently as possible, and I fear deeply, that it won't be possible anymore.

    So, yes, porn can definitely cause disfunctional sexuality, aswell as all kinds of other issues. It is very much a problem.
    But I believe it isn't the only one. The cause for people to excessively consume porn are most likely various sociological deficits, and porn is just a very bad and very easy to access substitute solution.

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  • Porn does create sexual dysfunction.

    A woman I know (she is totally hot) has a husband addicted to porn. As a result he over-stimulated his mind and can't even get it up looking at porn.

    If he'd stop looking at it, his mind would heal as a woman's naked body wouldn't look so ordinary to him. And he'd be able to achieve an erection with his wife.

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  • Sex is meant to be fun, exciting, and varied. I would say forcing yourself to be content with just missionary for the rest of your life is just as dysfunctional.

    Most porn is not the more extreme stuff with actual throat fucking and gagging and all the rest of it.

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    • I never said just hump purely to reproduce mate! I said that we should understand how porn numbs us and that being empathic makes great sex! You can experiment and shit you can do what the fuck you want, frankly man you could tie a rope to your penis and jump from a tree and i wouldn't give a fuck! Im just saying people aren't objects amd connection should be a main aspect of sex and when i spoke of dysfunction i meant that there are a lot of subconscious psycological motivations behind fetishes that come from things like abuse and neglect!

    • And i say should* because i feel that if none of us were damaged in emotional ways or had voids we wanted to fill we wouldn't be taken advantage of or used or willing to inflict pain! We should view each other as human

  • Porn is a reflection of what turns us on, it doesn't define our turn-ons. Just because something turns us on in porn doesn't mean we want to do it, either. And the way we act in bed is not the same as the way we act in real life. Just because someone likes to be sexually dominant or submissive in bed does not in any way mean they are that way in real life. Porn is not real life, it's a specific kind of entertainment product - just enjoy it for what it is. There is no good evidence that pornography is addicting, and AMA etc don't list "pornography addiction" as a disorder.

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    • it's not addictive, but compulsive. Compulsion can be a disorder, as it is a lack of selfcontrol. Porn is a substitute source of satisfaction, for various unfullfilled needs. And no mather how much of a substitute one consumes, it will never be able to actually fulfill the real needs, so in effect, it is basically the same as an addiction.

    • @Swiss_Tengu What need are you referring to? It's just another way of generating sexual arousal.

    • yes, but they often don't want to satisfy sexual needs. Lots of people watch porn trying to numb loneliness (unsatisfied needs for social connection and/or affection), or boredom. There may be even other unrelated reasons too.

  • There is at least one decent porn site that feature real couples, but it's a rarity (if not unique).

    People need to understand that just because something is possible, doesn't make it pleasurable, and that sex that's not pleasurable to both partners borders on rape. Of course, when I was growing up, mainstream films were showing women getting pleasure from rape, which was not helpful.

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  • I think that porn is ok, but there is such thing as too much. Dads need to explain to their sons that women are human, just as much as men and deserve respect. They are not play things for men. Porn is just for fantasy, nothing more, and women really do not act that way in real life--unless she or he has a fetish that resulted prior to porn but that is a different topic.
    Porn can lead to negative imagery if the perception is not focused correctly.

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  • No.
    Porn is THE result of our sexuality.
    That kind of porn continues being produced because people like it, that is the whole point of supply and demand.

    If someone wouldn't like your product in the first place, you aren't gonna make them buy it.

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  • Yep, you're on the right track.
    Porn is all fake and constant viewing and masturbating ruins normal man-woman romantic relationships. It's an addiction, and it's real.

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  • Ya i really don't watch porn and i feel it's overrated as fuck. And it does ruin self confidence for a lot of guys and girls viewing it. Porn is like a drug and it can be dangerous just like any other.

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  • I liked your post and I've thought about this before but i'm not entirely sure it's true. But definitely porn is unrealistic, but I usually think it's more unrealistic due to the positions the actors go in, and the frequent obvious lack of emotion / bad acting. And the pacing and way things happen is just wrong, it almost always goes like this:
    the girl poses like a stripper, blow job, fucking in one position, blow job, fucking in another position, blow job, fucking in third position, the dude cums on her face. which is just not how it happens in normal sex in reality so that makes it seem particularly fake. And there are a lot of strange positions that wouldn't be comfortable in reality.

    I think the "fetish" parts are less of a concern and something that people are naturally interested in. But porn movies just make the scenes seem really fake and rushed.

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  • One thing:
    There is female friendly porn out there. Here's a link
    www.pornmd.com/straight/female+friendly+porn

    Personally, I think porn has opened our eyes to a plethora of pleasure acts that we wouldn't have known because no one really talks about their sexual stuff.
    It's still up to the couple whether they are into that.

    For example, I don't go for anal, or throat fucking unless she likes it, (or if she gets me super horny).
    However, I like known of new ways to have vaginal sex!!!

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  • https://i.imgur.com/gUrk5An.jpg
    Porn creates unrealistic expectations and standards: 9 inch penises which never go limp, girls coming when barely touched, girls liking abuse, anal sex, bisexual girls, skull fucking etc, etc.

    Then some try to copy what they see in porn, feel not up to standards or feel (rightly) abused.

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  • I think that society conditions us to view people as disposable the moment we start masturbating. It's supposed to be "normal". However, having had not masturbated until I was 18, I always found it to be a legitimately sick-minded practice- still do, actually. It takes an outsider to be able to tell, but people are too conditioned to believe it's "alright" because it's normal. They're too brainwashed and taken by it to fight it. I try to fight it every day, I'll tell you that. I've experienced the changes of my brain chemistry firsthand, of how one starts becoming a lot more wired to the idea of sex. It's carved into my mind, and this is beyond what is really natural to a human being.

    Porn and masturbation only really teaches us people are disposable tools for our depraved mind. It's even worse for people like me when they aren't interested in relationships to begin with.

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  • If it wasn't for porn, like 65% of men and 10% of women would have no "sexuality" at all.

    Most people, that's as close to being loved as they ever get, watching a video of somebody else receiving pleasure. That's as much love as most people ever get to taste.

    Before you take that away, better think about what you plan to replace it with.

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    • It should be social interactions and meaningful bonds, but society and has various flaws, that makes it very difficult, if not impossible for many people. So it's not about replacing it, it's about solving the underlying issues.

    • @Swiss_Tengu Yeah, well, here's the underlying issue to solve:

      http://i.imgur.com/vvP6Srk.jpg

    • In essence, yes.
      in my opinion, education is the best solution to this. But I fear the situation is dire enough to call for publicly governed birthcontrol and eugenics. Democratical government doesn't work well, if stupidity represents the majority.

  • It's biological, women are innate sex objects, why? Because 1% of men can knock up 100% of women thus most men are superfluous to reproduction, thus women have far more sexual value. I mean shit even "straight" women are more aroused by the female body than the male body ( look up Dr Chives and Dr Riegers work). But this is how they want it, it is literally by far the biggest advantage the female gender has. Male clothes would be more revealing if women were as sexually attracted to the male body as men are to the female body.

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    • Human reproduction goes a bit beyond sex.
      You're right that men are more disposable. But that doesn't make women sex objects it just makes men disposable.
      Women are picky and whom they sleep with, because sex comes with a higher risk. Men aren't. But that doesn't make either gender a sex object either. It's the mechanism that has sustained our species

    • Those are just reasons women are sex objects, they still are though

  • I guess my question is why the OP doesn't realize this is simply a chicken-and-the-egg question. 1) We have unrealistic expectations because of the porn, so blame the porn. 2) But wait, who created the porn? And therefore is showing through the porn what we want? 3) Oh, we did. 4) So we're to blame? 5) No, the porn is. 6) Oh cool! 7) Except, wait... we made the porn.

    And so on.

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  • A quick history lesson proves that humans have always been perverts.

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  • Well porn isn't something that erected overnight
    People obviously did those things before they decided to make videos

    I guess the question is who was the bright smart ass girl to put her mouth on her bf's penis... now famously called a bj

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    • lol "erected"

    • @frozenhorizon ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    • Thats depicted in ancient civilizations as well and id guess back in tribal times.
      It was a good idea though since it doesn't mean getting pregnant and she could persuade the tribesmen to do things without risking getting pregnant and with a lower risk of STDs as well.
      in victorian and fronter broth halls before the times of condoms they supposedly mostly did oral for that reason.

  • Excellent post, 100% agree with it. As a society we have screwed sex up so much.

    Nofap is our strength.

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