Sexual Attraction Explained

Sexuality is a very complicated subject. It is composed of 5 components.

1. Direct arousal.

This can range from a tingle to full blown arousal. This feeling can happen independent of other feelings or it can happen with other feelings. I for example feel this when I see big b**bs or a nice b*tt. I think girls experience this automatically to all sorts of things.

2. Direct attraction.

This is like a pull toward a person. A person doesn't have to turn you on to be attractive. The attraction is directed more toward the person than say their body.

This picture does not turn me on, but if I look at each of the people, I might find them attractive.

Note: If you get rid of their faces it isn't as attractive:

I mean if I focus on their bodies it can cause a little bit of direct arousal (or vicarious body attraction, which I will cover in a moment), but the appeal of the original image is no longer there.

For the girls, an analog might be:

Supposedly each of these guys is attractive.

For equity, I will crop their heads:

Supposedly this is less attractive.

3. Vicarious touch arousal.

This is when you see something sexual and you imagine how it would feel. So like if you're a guy and you see a picture of male genitalia that looks like yours and a girl is licking it and you imagine the lick on you (or touching you), that would be vicarious touch arousal. Even people who do not experience sexual attraction typically experience vicarious touch arousal.

4. Vicarious act arousal.

This is when you see a sexual act being done and you can imagine yourself performing that act. If you're into literature maybe you read about performing a sexual thing (or having a sexual act performed on you) and you imagine doing it. When this kind of arousal is combined with direct arousal, the result is typically something that a person would masturbate to.

5. Vicarious body attraction.

This is when you perceive something attractive that is the body of a person. For example, I see the back of a girl and it's a hot back and I like it and I imagine that the person possessing said back would be attractive.

(This one might also involve direct arousal, but direct arousal without attraction is just a tingle and then you forget about it - you don't concentrate on it or think that you actually want to engage in sex)

Another back...

But she might turn around and look like this:

Now for a guy:

It's basically the same thing, but a guy. Now he might show his face and it looks like...

But yeah, I'm not really attracted to them (in this case I am referring to the backs), I'm just attracted to something about them, but it's still attraction because the desire is concentrated on them. If the sexual desire was "diffuse" and not concentrated on a person, then it wouldn't be attraction.

Anyway, there are five components of sexuality. Direct arousal, direct attraction, vicarious touch arousal, vicarious act arousal, and vicarious body attraction.

These five component play out in interesting ways. For example, with guys, direct arousal on its own isn't that common, but girls can experience wetness from a variety of sexual stuff. A guy on the other hand might experience sexual feelings downstairs, but those feelings are often accompanies by sexual feelings upstairs as well. Like for example a guy might see big b**bs and look and feel a tingle (direct arousal), but also want to touch (vicarious bodily attraction). Or maybe a girl sees a waitress at a nude bar with her massive b**bs hanging out and her nipples covered in sparkles and she experiences some wetness (direct arousal), but she doesn't want to reach out and squeeze the b**bs the way a guy would (no vicarious bodily attraction). In this same situation, a guy might act on his vicarious bodily attraction by hitting on the bartender, but the woman would not.

If you break it up into these five components, it is easier to understand.


6|2
824

Most Helpful Girl

  • Uh, yeah, except but.

    Except for the VAST majority of things that can be intensely sexually arousing, despite being absolutely none of these five things at all.

    For instance. I LOVE conflict, challenges, arguments, and aggressive banter. Especially with someone who can read me well enough to know exactly which proverbial buttons to push, to get a reaction out of me. Oh god yeah.
    These things TURN ME ON. They get me hot. They make me wet. They can make a physically unimpressive man INTENSELY alluring, in the omg-you-have-no-idea-how-much-I-want-a-violent-hatefuck-right-NOW sort of way.

    There are plenty of other triggers, too. Which are NONE of these 5 things, but which make women want to **fuck**.
    Not just "want sex". I mean wanna FUCK, boy.

    Men have these kinds of triggers, too. They usually just aren't as aware of them, and/or as open to discovering or exploring them, as women are.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Sure we are, and sure we do. We just care about a slim waist and nice tits way, way more.

    • Show All
    • @Bluemax ahah I love the way you talk about yr wife 🖤🖤
      I think I appreciate it even more because it reminds me, on some level, of my father... who's still hopelessly in love, even though it's been 40 and a half years since my mom's been gone. He even still checks the "married" box on forms, even when there's a penalty for doing so.

      __

      As for triggers, there are all sorts of them. Everything from throaty/raspy voices, to totally random personality traits, to whatever else.

      As much as they'd resist admitting it, **plenty** of boys are turned on by a certain amount of drama and/or "crazy", too.
      I'm sure you know a boy or two (or ten) who just alllllwayyysss seems to end up in a rl with a woman he'd describe as "crazy" — even when that woman's personality is worn clearly on her sleeve from day one. And mysteriously enough, the sexual dynamic of these relationships just **always**, [not-so-]coincidentally, seems to be just so damn good. HMMMM

    • violent hate fuck... lol... by boyfriend usually bites my clit while going down on me and that does it for me without the hours of bickering.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Although a lot of women say that it’s not about the size, and it’s all about the performance, most women would prefer a bigger penis over a smaller one when all is said and done. This gives gifted men something to be proud about and average-sized men something to wonder about. Why do women love big penises?
    The top 5 reasons why women love big penises. Here they are:
    1. Women find big penises attractive
    In a study conducted by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, it shows that women have a balancing scale for attractiveness. It shows that the size of the penis is as equally attractive as the height of the man. That means that women are more likely to find a short man attractive if he has a big penis, and tall men doesn’t have to be incredibly gifted down under to be attractive.
    2. Women can tell their friends about it
    Don’t get me wrong – women bragging about dating guys with big penises don’t paint the picture that women are shallow. It’s all about human nature. A guy with a big penis is like hitting the dating lottery for women. People covet what they cannot have, and some people take pleasure in rubbing it in other people’s faces. Now, telling their most intimate friends about how big their man is makes them a bit more proud of having a man with a big penis.
    3. They can see the excitement
    When women see that their man is aroused, they become more aroused – and what better way to measure the arousal of men than the erection of the penis? Seeing a big, erect penis makes women see how excited their man is for them, and this in turn, makes them more excited for their man.
    4. It’s a challenge
    For a woman who has never experienced a big penis before, taking on a big penis may be a challenge to her sexual prowess. When women know that a man has a big penis, curiosity will ensue in all the right places. Would it fit? Would it hurt? Would it feel amazing? These are things that women want to know, and curiosity drives them to have a firsthand experience with a big penis.
    5. It hits the spot
    It all goes down to how it can make a woman feel. A big penis can hit the places that small penises can’t. It can give pleasure and a new sensation that the woman has never felt before. Only a small percentage of men have big penises, and an even smaller number know how to use it. That’s why a big man with a big appetite is such a rare commodity for women, which makes their value even high

    0|0
    1|1
    • "a big penis can hit the places that small penises can’t"

      ^^ This isn't wrong — but, short ones can also hit places that long ones can't, and skinny ones can hit places that thick ones can't.

      Which should all be dreadfully obvious, but, if it isn't, just consider the array of tools that dentists use to access different parts of a patient's mouth. Some of the tools are long. Others are short. Some are curved, others straight. Etc etc.
      Pretty much the same thing with penises and the inside of a woman's... insides.

      Consider also that the most sensitive "spots" **inside** a woman's anatomy are at most a couple inches deep — and the clit head, of course, is on the OUTside.

      __

      On the other hand — I know lots and lots of gay men (I have a background in fashion, and I live just steps from West Hollywood)... and the article you copied/pasted here sounds a LOT like the things gay boys say, about other gay boys.

Join the discussion

What Girls Said 7

  • I don't classify the members of N-sync as attractive. Not their faces or their bodies. Not back then at least. I don't really find myself attracted to the male body very often, I need more of an emotion attraction before I get a physical one. In rare cases I will get a physical one before emotional.

    3|0
    0|3
    • Do you find yourself attracted to the female body very often?

    • Show All
    • And not to gender specific male traits.

    • Well who cares, as long as she doesn't speak for all females. Most straight males and females are attracted only to the opposite sex's face/body.

  • The article wasn't interesting enough to get me to read through the whole thing.

    2|3
    0|0
  • Nice Mytake, but one little complaint- everyone in NSYNC is gross!

    0|1
    0|0
  • ummm i didn't find any of the men pictured there to be arousing. is something wrong with me?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yet you are probably aroused by lesbian porn yet erroneously claim to be straight

    • Show All
    • @bekkesmash i think you have a lesbian fetish. i said a little bi- you say mostly bi. i wouldn't agree with that.

    • A little bi is till by very definition bisexual. And women chose men for mainly non gender specific traits, and are sexually at attracted to women by female specific traits, which shows that they are by definition closer to being lesbian than straight.

  • Great!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Good take

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm just here for the Xper points, as your article was actually not that interesting

    0|2
    0|3

What Guys Said 23

  • When you said " I think girls experience this automatically to all sorts of things." I stopped reading. You are just guessing, based on your own experiences. Women are different. Woman are VERY different. Let me give you a clue:

    MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM A PARALLEL UNIVERSE!

    I don't guess at how women feel or what they think and I have been interacting with their species for 62 years. Whatever you think you know about women, you need to re-examine it.

    0|0
    0|1
    • DEAD wrong!

    • By "I guess", I mean I read that they (women) experience wetness from a variety of sexual stimuli both male and female, but I don't have any first hand accounts to back it up.

    • That may be true. I've heard that too. I don't know why they say men are more sexual if that's the case. I say it varies from individual, not gender. Straight men/women always attract the opposite only.

  • I can not speak for the female side as I am unsure (probably because I am obviously not female).

    As for the male side, your analogy only works on heterosexual and bisexual males, but what about asexual males? Technically as the name suggests, we are not sexually attracted to humans directly, however some aces are still capable of sexual urges only instead, we are attracted to other things hence why we have the fetish world.

    For starters, the images I've attached already makes me horny. It's not necessarily the woman herself (although tomboy wedgies do really help), it's what she's wearing that makes me want to masturbate. Now separate the female out of her underpants and snap a photo of it alone (without the sweat/urine/fece stains, whatever).

    Fappin' season.

    Aces have a weird sense of sexuality and we are the most complicated and obscure orientation in the world.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Dude. This analogy is not about masturbation. I once masturbated to pictures of glass bottles of Heinz ketchup for a week and after that the curves of the bottles started to remind me of the curves of a woman and I would get turned on when someone put ketchup on the table. I fucking masturbated to ketchup. Basically, if it makes your dick hard, you can masturbate to it. i. e. if it results in arousal, you can masturbate to it. Doesn't necessarily mean you will, but you can.

  • The face is most important to everyone, if everyone's honest. It's natural.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'm not sure if women are actually attracted in that way to guys because people always say that women aren't visual.

    1|0
    0|0
    • it's bullshit. they are

    • Show All
    • To add to that, as a guy, neck-down attraction (vicarious body attraction) can easily turn into sexual act arousal if I go from just being attracted to a nice body to thinking about a sexual act involving that body. Also, men can experience arousal just seeing a fully dressed woman in a public place (like for example if you look and she has giant boobs) where as women often don't experience arousal just seeing a fully dressed man in a public place.

    • Hmmm I guess you have never heard of l
      Ladies Night and male strippers.
      This is what girls really think, they just don't tell you to spare your egos.
      http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/368041/results

  • Thanks for sharing!

    0|1
    1|0
  • Yeah no women are just as shallow as men, if not more. It's way more common for a girl who's a 5 to hook up with a guy who's a 10, than it is for a guy who's a 5 to hook up with a girl who's a 10. Men, we like hot women but if she's not open, doesn't smile, mean we are quick to turn the other way. Whereas, if the guy is handsome but closed, emotionally unavailable, moody, mean, the woman respects him and chases him.

    0|0
    2|0
    • I notice a lot of the opposite to be honest. I see a lot of really truly gorgeous females who fall for okay looking guys and I see a lot of men who won't even consider hooking up , let alone dating an average looking woman. Believe it or not but I have been turned down once before for my looks sadly

  • Visual is important, but slimness isn't just important because of visual stuff... it's also because we want to show our dominance and that turns us on, as in the ability to pick up and give a piggyback ride to a slim girl or literally throw her into bed to have passionate sex with her is what basically all of us want. Only about three of those girls in the above photo are slim enough for just that reason, and that is why we as guys almost universally find a slimmer body on a girl attractive.

    0|0
    0|0
  • True, the face is really important. To me it is anyway.

    1|2
    0|0
  • Interesting

    0|0
    0|0
  • Guys would always prefer a porn-star body in their girl.

    1|0
    0|1
  • no woman has ever looked at the body of a man and found him attractive, the majority looks at the personality, even women find the female body more appealing. i don't believe this to be true, but I've read about it a few minutes ago

    0|0
    0|0
  • Oh ok

    0|0
    0|0
  • Thank you

    0|0
    0|0
  • Something to read I guess.

    0|0
    0|0
  • This is why i look at body, face, and personality before even considering someone is attractive

    1|0
    0|0
  • Its sti based on how you like sum 1

    0|0
    0|0
  • Lol where are you getting some of this info from. Sexuality is individual not gendered!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Xp thanks

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hmmm? I guess you just like what you like...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Most girls don't actually experience arousal or sexual attraction to someone without personality.
    Thats mainly a male thing.

    0|0
    0|1
    • DEAD wrong!!

    • Show All
    • But they aren't sexually attracted to gender specific traits, you said so yourself.

    • @bekkesmash Straight girls are man wtf? Where are you getting that assumption from? Lol

  • More from Guys
    3
Loading... ;