Why Promiscuity Is Killing Chivalry

I will post several links on the bottom for reference. My view is that promiscuity is a social disfunction and longterm relationships/marriage is best. Just to clarify, I do not advocate promiscuity. This is all strongly based in research, not opinion. This isn't about who is at fault, if anyone is it is both males and females. I blame the Sexual Revolution as the true reason which I will get to. I am open to ridicule, suggestions, arguments, changes that need to be made. Cheers, God Bless!

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Current day: single motherhood is rising, a huge indicator/correlation to poverty, abortion rates rising, divorce rising, STD infections, etc. I blame most of these current day effects from the sexual revolution of the 1960's and 1970's where you have this hook up culture or "experimenting and finding yourself" takes place. Now, current day this is common, you have friends with benefits, ONS, open relationships, and so on. The divorce rate is increasing and relevant so let's begin with divorce rates and the sexual revolution.

1950: 26%

1955: 23%

1959: 22%

1967: 26%

1970: 33%

1975: 48%

1980: 52%

1985: 50%

As time goes on, just as the 60's and 70's came you have a spike in divorce rates. After the 70's you have a steady rate. What causes this to occur? I am lead to believe in result of the sexual revolution, and is continuing to be this way from promiscuity.

The more sexual partners a woman has before marriage the higher the chances of divorce, STDs, abortions, pregnancy, general unhappiness becomes. The misconception is that more partners equates to more happiness when the opposite is true, in other findings couples with less sexual partners or no sexual partners before marriage are actually happier and have a higher marriage success rate. (not divorcing in their marriage).

Effect on Men/Chivalry

Now comes to this effecting men. Women before the sexual revolution were expected to wait for marriage. Yet with the anti war attitudes by the younger generation there was a "rebellion" towards the parents values being waiting for marriage along with other things. Out of this, the sexual revolution was pushed in suit with the feminist movement which pushed for sexual liberation also. The pill was another factor so was contraceptions making sex "safer" until we see the results now.

Men, use to have to work to get a woman. There wasn't many woman sleeping around, if so at that time period they would be shamed and not desirable. A man would have to try to get a woman to be with him, if he was able to get her there are reasons he would stay. One of those reasons being that if you work for something, you are more likely to keep and hold onto whatever it is you worked for. Another reason was that since getting a woman was relatively more difficult than today is that looking for another woman is not an option since of course women were harder to get. However, now, men and women are available at any call. You have Tinder, Snapchat, all these other ways to hook up and have sex, porn became more popular a huge factor as well. We live in the age of Instant Gratification now, look around, it is all about you. The consumer. The pursuit of pleasure is all around, fast food, porn, drugs, alcohol, and sex. Now sex is a good thing in the right place, promiscuity is not. However, just as we live in a society where we abuse fast food, porn, drugs, and alcohol, we also abuse sex and the effects are less seen and called normal. Since woman give themselves away so fast now, so meaninglessly as do men mind you, no one would take the time to pursue anything more than a hook up style relationship. Men no longer have to try to get a girl to sleep with him, women are willingly giving themselves away.

Why would a man settle down when there is no reason to?

Why would a man respect a woman who gives herself away in 3 days?
Why would a man raise his standards if women aren't demanding it?

Men will continually hook up as long as women are there available to do so.

Porn And Its Effects

From Tigerfreedom.com By Beau Norton
By Beau Norton — April 24, 2014

Chapter 11 of the famous book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill refers to a phenomenon called the “transmutation of sex energy.” This may very well be the most important yet most overlooked chapter of the entire book. Napoleon Hill clearly states that practically every extremely successful person that he personally interviewed was of a “highly sexed nature” but redirected that energy into their work rather than releasing it. If you’re a man, then I hope you are paying attention. Our culture today could be said to be a “sex culture.” We are constantly being bombarded with sexual images and subtle references to sex. Why is this a bad thing? Because it is encouraging men worldwide to release their sexual energy! This energy is far more valuable than you might realize.
Constant release of sexual energy is very damaging

First of all, it’s important to note that the release of sexual energy is viewed as a ‘normal’ thing in today’s society, especially for men. The porn industry being worth $97 billion worldwide (2006) speaks for itself. Men are constantly releasing their sexual energy, and it is hurting them greatly.

Masturbation is one of the biggest detriments to men worldwide. For one, it kills the drive to actually go out and meet real women. Many men today are very feminized and lack the courage to even talk to women. I haven’t been on earth that long, but I’m willing to bet that many years ago, the percentage of men that actually had some balls was far greater. I say that for one reason: they didn’t have access to internet pornography.

The release of sexual energy through masturbation is also damaging to your overall health. Semen is a highly concentrated substance. The body uses large amounts of minerals and nutrients to produce semen. If you are constantly releasing your semen, the body has to continuously take minerals from other parts of your body to replace it. This can lead to severe mineral deficiencies that result in depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, mental fog, and many other unpleasant things. You are not only releasing energy when you masturbate, you are also releasing valuable nutrients that your body needs to function at maximum efficiency.

Porn is killing your ability to be happy

Porn is very stimulating. It releases dopamine in the brain, which actually causes you to become addicted to pornography. It is the same mechanism in the brain that is responsible for the addiction to drugs, food, television, video games, etc. If you watch porn on a regular basis, you are constantly desensitizing yourself to the release of dopamine. This essentially means that you will need more and more stimulation over time to give you the same “high.” You become addicted to the stimulation of pornography to the point where regular life becomes less enjoyable because it is not stimulating enough to cause a release of dopamine. In short, porn decreases your ability to receive happiness from the small things in life.Masturbation without porn is still not advised. It is still an unhealthy addiction, and let’s be honest, it’s pretty pathetic when you think about it. Men around the world are jacking off to images on a computer screen while women are wondering where all the real men are. Quite frankly, there aren’t many. Stop masturbating and you might just reverse the damage and finally become one.

Learn to channel your sex energy into creative endeavors

There’s a good reason for a whole chapter in Think and Grow Rich being dedicated to the topic of sexual energy. Because sex energy is the most powerful motivating and creative force! Think about it. If sex is powerful enough to have 99% of men around the world addicted to it, then there has to be something very special about it. Most men waste this energy at every opportunity. Extremely successful people use this energy wisely as the motivating force behind their actions.

I have a challenge for you. Stop masturbating for 30 days and see what happens. At the end of 30 days, I can almost guarantee you will experience more energy and creativity. When you stop releasing that valuable energy, it becomes available for you to channel it into other activities such as working out, meeting women, starting a business, reading books, and other things that actually benefit you.

Here are a few of the reported benefits of abstaining from porn and masturbation:

More energy and needing less sleep
Relief from depression and anxiety
Clear-headedness and increased focus
More confidence and self-esteem
Better self-expression (social skills, body language, tone of voice, etc)

- Beau Norton

I agree with this statement from Norton, porn is a deceptive instrument and is trapping many into the pursuit of pleasure which can't be fulfilled. Ted Bundy, serial killer and rapist proclaimed before his execution that he and all other convicts were heavily involved in porn use. The rule of thumb is porn needs to satisfy and eventually these things become enacted into reality.

Many porn stars have died from alcohol abuse, drug abuse, STDs, suicide. Also, many have been sold or forced into sex rings, porn, and the such be women, men, or children. Porn is a nasty thing after going through the looking glass.

Why is this Focused Towards Women?

Because Women have the power to change all this around. If women collectively all were to raise their standards in other words not giving themselves away so fast and gain some confidence in themselves then men would HAVE TO FOLLOW. You don't believe a man will follow? The past men had to work to get a woman, and it will happen as soon as women decide to. Sexual Energy is a strong source. A man will raise his standards to be with a woman and would be with a woman he truly wants to.


This would also decrease divorce, cheating, and out of wedlock pregnancy rates. How? Divorce is caused by several things, unhappiness, fiscal matters, cheating. Infidelity is a huge reason. Why does this happen? That is more so debatable however the truth is that if there is no one to cheat with, there won't be any cheating. Take away the supply, the demand will die down. Cheating won't only decrease in marriage, however will decrease overall only if women don't have sex with everyone. Divorce, divorce will decrease, taking a look at the graphs in the links will help visualize this point. The less sexual partners before marriage the happier the couple tends to be than more sexual partners. Pregnancy rates, again, if there is no one sleeping around it will naturally decrease.

Women are the ones issuing divorce more than men do. The number 1 reason for divorce is not alcohol abuse, physical abuse, not fiscal issues, but dissatisfaction. You may say is this is correlation not causation, however I recommend to take a look at the links below.

Women are better off, healthier, safer, and happier without engaging in hook up culture and pursuing a long term marriage/relationship. Women have most to gain from waiting.

Sex isn't a Toy

Yes, we live in a very hyper sexual society, yes it is very hard not to dwell and consume this awesome thing of sex! This hook up society is just instant gratification. Just like fast food or candy, it is just sugar. It isn't meant to be thrown around and be with so many people. As we see on movies or social media sex talked about or shown to be fun, risk free, encouraged. However, there is true risk with this, evidently really bad risks at hand. Yes, at the moment you may not be having sex, but it isn't a huge issue. The mindset is, ohh if I don't have it now I need to do it as soon as possible.

Misconceptions About Sex Early

I have heard many women state that they have sex early and expect a relationship in return when this has never worked. Give what he wants and get what I want in return right?

Expecting happiness in a relationship. Many seem to think a relationship is where happiness/life begins when that is another fallacy. Happiness is a conscious and active choice. Happiness is also an internal thing, not external. If you try to change the outside be your body, environment, whatever internal thing you change that won't fix an internal problem. That is why I advocate EVERYONE to be confident and work on themselves, pursue the best version of themselves because changing the external won't make the internal happy. Getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons is a huge cause in divorce as well. Go into a relationship because you like that person, want to better yourselves off each other, and you want to pursue a long term relationship together. Don't go into one for approval, for lust, for money. You should already be happy right now, even if the reason is just being alive which actually is a huge reason to be happy since life is a gift!

For You

I encourage anyone who reads this to wait for a worth while person, sure and true love. I would strongly advocate waiting for marriage since the benefits are quite clear. There are clear repercussions with sex out of marriage and if you are fine with that, be aware. What is most beneficial is that you know this information and the effects it is having on you.

Men and Women, I advocate you wait longer, much longer, look for long term relationships, you will be far better off. I encourage all to control their impulses and desires as well.

What I Am Not Saying

This isn't to shame anyone or tell you what to do. This is showing you that maybe there is a problem going on and we should really think about what we are doing. You are free to make the choice, however you are not free from the consequences of your actions. Many people including myself didn't know about all this and now, I am glad I do!

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Sources

Divorce Statistics: http://divorce.lovetoknow.com/Historical_Divorce_Rate_Statistics

Sexual Revolution: http://study.com/academy/lesson/the-sexual-revolution-history-origins-impact.html

Effects of Promiscuity: http://cdn.freedomainradio.com/FDR_2899_Marriage_Partners_Study.pdf

Effects of Promiscuity Cont: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr48/nvs48_16.pdf

Current Divorce Rates: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage_divorce_tables.htm

Sexual Energy: Think & Grow by Napoleon Hill

Reasons of Divorce: https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/

Divorce Reasons Cont.: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yourtango/10-most-common-reasons-people-divorce_b_8086312.html

Effects Of Porn: http://www.drsyrasderksen.com/blog/effects-of-pornography#sthash.cppxBL2Z.dpbs

Effects of Porn Cont: Beau Norton


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What Girls Said 31

  • Promiscuity comes from a feminist way of thinking. Feminists want women to be equal to men, so therefore if men can have as much sex with as many women as possible without feelings than so should women. This kind of thinking applies to chilvarly and everything else. If women want to be equal to men, more women should be chivalrous to men, be the bread winner and so on. Now men want to be the women role... it gets confusing. I Am confused as f

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    • Me too haha - everything seems so upside down now

    • You ain't wrong! But I think the most warped and flawed (il) logic in the feminist dialect, is in how they've promoted the skewed notion that men and women are and CAN BE the same... Call me a mysoginist neanderthal, but my thinking is and always has been this; men and women, as a procreating race, are NOT meant to be "the same". We are very different and have different skills and natural predispositions. Christian chivalry and later feminism, has destroyed what was a symbiotic relationship between men and women back in pagan times...

    • Awesome point! I am so glad there are people like you guys thinking like this, it gives me hope! Cheers

  • I learned how to channel my sexuality in creative ways by painting with my vagina.

    JK.

    The thing is today, if you often tell a guy you want to wait he will either take that as a challenge and try 10 times harder to get with you, or he'll just move on. It's getting harder to meet the guys that are like "Ok that's cool with me".

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    • There are literally websites out there telling men how to 'pressure' a woman to have sex (if he can tell she wants to). That it's ok to push for it. Even if it's a tad 'rapey' (but not going as far as rape). And then telling them never to get serious with a girl who gives in. Logic? None.

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    • Yeah, that is awful, my friend told me it happened to her but she luckily said no and didn't. Well, thanks for the awesome comments. Cheers

    • No problem!

  • I agree, promiscuity is hurting relationship greatly. It's no wonder why a lot people just want to bang but don't want to commit to anyone.

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  • I think you made a lot of great points, but there are still plenty of modest women today, it's just that so many men tend to go for the promiscuous women because they are promiscuous themselves.

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    • Thank you! I think there are and hope there are modest women!

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    • Your parents must be proud. You give your generation some hope.

    • @burpzzzzz Thank you man, that means a lot!

      I haven't talked to my parents about this before, so I guess they will never know, but that is okay.

  • THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. Thank you.

    Being guilty of having been somewhat of a serial monogamist in the past, i looked back to find that every time I had been single represented periods of massive growth, happiness and pride. Why? Because single, you go back to trying to be impressive. You have hope.

    I have been guilty before of choosing men that weren't the "man of my dreams". GUILTY. I'm sorry. I really am, that was a big mistake. I settled for lowered expectations because I didn't feel at the level to attract what I would consider to be an ideal man.

    Isn't being good enough for the person of your dreams kind of the meaning of life though? I figure now, the best way I can live is to BE EXACTLY THE WOMAN I WOULD WANT TO HAVE IF I WERE THE MAN OF MY DREAMS. And boy oh boy is that desire a force to be reckoned with.

    After trying to date and finding myself very uncomfortable with the idea behind it, I decided that no, I don't want a "friend in the meantime". I don't want friends with benefits. I want the real thing. You only live once. I just have to experience real love in my lifetime. If you want something to happen, they say "fake it till you make it". You want a promotion, act like you already have the job you want. You want money, act like a rich person. You want to be in true love, act like you already are in love.

    I'm waiting for the right one and I've never felt so excited and powerful. This is the best time of my life, and I'm a middle aged woman! You'd think I would be depressed or lonely, but instead I'm surrounded by GREAT friends, busy with projects, out hustling in my career and I've never looked hotter, felt better or been more confident, seriously. That's what he would want in me. And the best part is that I'm in no rush. It will happen when it happens. The notion of Instant gratification here is pure evil. You have to work hard. You have to be patient. Such is life.

    Now, my own preference is that he would want me to wait for him and he would fully appreciate that loyalty-in-advance. Everything I do is for him and it's done with love and passion. I just haven't met him yet. But I will. And when I do, I won't shy away because I'll know how much I deserve him and how hard I've worked. He's my reward!

    I'm starting to think I might never have experienced true love, because this sounds like it, but I've never even come close to anything like it.

    *fingerscrossed* ;)

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    • That is amazing! I am so proud of you! I hope you do find the man!

  • I agree with you. Longterm and marriage is so much healthier.

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    • yea if you are a woman of course

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    • @CasaNorba I agree, but that is still not the reason for an excuse to not applying yourself completely to securing a good wife and life for that matter.

    • @vyvyn again no thank you, what may seem like moral priorities to you seems like nothing but nonsense to me

  • Absolutely amazing. I'm shocked this is coming from someone in my generation, and so close to my own age. I agree completely with this myTake, and find it incredibly refreshing that you took the time to post this. From a girl who prefers long-term relationships, waiting until marriage, and chivalrous men, this take is very much appreciated! :)

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    • Thank you! That really does mean a lot, especially from someone older in my generation!

  • Well-explained, I'm highly explained! I definitely agree with you.

    However I'm still not convinced that free sex directly relates with chivalry, but everything is co-related indirectly so...

    I highly discourage sex before marriage too. Sex has literally become so cheap humans don't value each other anymore. The list of its harm to the society will never end.

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  • great take! it is true.

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  • So, you decide to quote two people who say there should be value in sexuality. Mr. Hill actually got divorced in 1940, so I guess you could say he wasn't a reliable source on a happy love life. Mr. Norton, is fresh faced and mostly publishes his work on Kindle. I am not saying this means he is unsuccessful, but the guy sounds like he is telling what his audience wants to hear. That is what a lot of self-help books due.

    A person's sexuality is really none of your business. People who say there just aren't any good men/women left are still young if they care so much about it. And if not young, whiny. You refuse to look past your own bubble of morals.

    Personally, I believe men and women both need a slut phase. A slut phase is that chance to explore, live, and not worry to much about relationship dynamics. BUT the trick is to know when you need to stop and seriously look if that is what you really want.

    Any person who judges someone for how sexually active someone is, really needs to get over themselves. Like by a million.

    As for families, the reason why there are single parents is because, your right, people do move on way too fast. But honestly, in the case of men, the sexual ratio is in their favor. There are more women for every man in the U. S., making the options seem more easy to make. No wonder there are baby daddies. But there are also other factors, like PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc.. things that make co-parenting nearly impossible. I know this first hand from my own dad.

    Bottom line is, as well written, and researched as you take was, it is not done by reliable sources. You are quoting life coaches, which the behavioral health community always stresses is not a professional.

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    • "what a lot of self help books *do"

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    • Here is the thing, it depends if I am dating their past, or their present. If they haven't changed at all, then that is important. Past events are something to consider, it matters if they have changed from that past, not only because it is in the past we can assume they have changed.

    • Respecrfully disagree with your opinion. In particularly about the slut phase. The slut phase is exactly what causes stds, unwanted children, and abortions.
      I dont date girls that had or are having a slut phase.

  • lol so you're blaming the 60's - 70's sexual revolution for all the world ills today? .
    are you so naive that for you a media label of an era and time defines causation and society?
    f i were a man and i wanted to attempt to write the definitive whiny ""Why would a man .
    Why would a man . Why would a man ."" (sniff) . article blaming women for the
    ills of the world ...

    i would have more effectively gone straight to the core with just 7 little words any of the
    80% of guys-assaulting-girls on this site would have easily understood in a split second ::::
    Women's Right To Vote - Rosie The Riveter . see how simple that would have been?

    not many of those 80% misogynists would dare blame all women like the OP does
    for single motherhood, poverty, abortion, divorce, stds, porn . and OMG ->>>>
    he blames women for male masturbation tooo?

    if anyone can't see the dishonesty in this article . one can see for themselves exactly where
    this OP is coming from and the kind of narrow simplistic fundamental mind set he has
    from the choice of title of the the article ::: simply google Why Promiscuity Is Killing Chivalry
    then read the all the headings . see who is being blamed? . there ya go!!!

    well here is the problem and trouble with his whole thesis :::::
    after 6,000 years of biblical history documenting man's brutality and oppression of women .
    in just the last 100 years . Women have raised the standards . We have raised the bar .
    We have gained power . We have gained education independence jobs leadership .
    choices AND Confidence! . where have you Men been? NO the problem is not us . it is you .
    YOU are lagging behind . you need to catch up . you have to raise your own bar . meet a
    higher standard for yourselves. are you man enuf to . stop whining . it's not up to women
    to raise your bar . do it yourselves . meet our standard . women have backed up
    and supported men when they treated us like shit . we don't really need you until you
    figure out chivalry is only dead for people like you! that's right . only 100 years out of 6000 .
    those are the consequences of your actions . look at what we did .

    now that didn't take as much text as him .

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    • can you follow my account i want to send you a private message

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    • @martinj
      excuse me creepzoid . abortion did not start with me .
      its been around since the ancient times written in the vedi laws of india .
      there are pictures, paintings, statues and graphics etched in stone from ancient times
      as far back as assyrian, roman, greek, and egyptian times over 3000 years ago .
      archeologists found during the dark ages instructions in sanskrit how to induce abortions,
      and other instructions around the world in se asia, new zealand, japan, including the
      abortion saints of Ireland . and OMG - Britain too!! by torturoulsly tightening womens
      girdles and doing strenuous physical activities like climbing and weightlifting .
      other forms of abortions were use of poisons, irritant herbs and leaves, fasting,
      cutting and bloodletting, pouring hot water onto the abdomen . during the times of the
      christian inquisition surgical tools were developed for open abdominal surgery without
      any medication .

    • @martinj . contd
      in medieval times the Islamic world also practiced abortions .
      NO ONE will ever know how many women suffered and died at the hands of satanists,
      religious clerics, or by brutal monsters due to forced abortions, experimental abortions
      or by sacrificial religious rites and persecutions . 92 years ago Russia was the first country
      to legalize abortion .

      I have never been pregnant. I have never had an abortion . I don't plan to ever have
      an abortion . So what does all this meeeannnn ? What does this all have to do with me?
      only that YOU are stupid and ignorant . and a trolling newbie . just what this place needs

      ohhh one more thing dumbass. the first person in history who was called a slut was a MAN
      who was referred to and called a slut by ANOTHER man . but wouldn't you know it.
      give it some time . it was men who turned the meaning and usage of the word around
      to call women sluts . simply cuz men are delusional . you self-denying slut.

  • While I do believe that people should be able to do what (and who) they want, haha, this was well written.

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  • ”The more sexual partners a woman has before marriage the higher the chances of divorce, STDs, abortions, pregnancy, general unhappiness becomes. The misconception is that more partners equates to more happiness when the opposite is true, in other findings couples with less sexual partners or no sexual partners before marriage are actually happier and have a higher marriage success rate. (not divorcing in their marriage).”

    i see men on this site quoting this study a lot.

    so you are saying it's only ok for men to have lots of sexual partners?

    it's only ok for men to find out what different women are like and what they like and don't like about women? to get to know themselves and their preference?

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    • Neither men or women should have sex before marriage, period.

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    • @MzAsh then you don't have sex. It's pretty simple.

    • @TheSpartan Yeah. Let's see how well that works out.

  • Here's the thing. Yes, women have the power to change this, but only very few men are going to benefit, because once women up their standards, they are going to realize that most men aren't making the cut. Then men are going to have to realize that they need to shape up or ship out. Another thing is, is chivalry really that important to women? I think most women just want to be respected by a partner who considers himself an equal. And women know they can get away with whatever they want and men will still do what women want anyway.

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    • Chivalry being respect.

      Raising standards being, waiting longer for sex. If you wait, so will men. If women make unrealistic standards then yes, it would be beneficing only a few men. However if women waited longer for sex so would men, and a majority of men would have to wait longer if most women did.

      Most women do want to be respected, that is what I meant by chivalry - respect. Can women get away with everything? If so, is that a problem?

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    • Yes im the one of those men who won't do what women like you want.

    • @martinj What do you mean?

  • promiscuity is destroying the fragile that exists between couples and if you weren't loyal before mairrage why would you be once you were married?

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  • I live in a pretty modern part of India and I think this mentality of mine would still be considered conservative in western countries cause I am saving my virginity for marriage. But I disagree with a lot that you said. Women can be treated like dirt even after marriage. So its probably not a good option to get married.
    1. Women are tricked into thinking that they are in love with a guy and then dumped after years of being used for having sex only. So guys literally can have sex whenever they want and ruin a girls life and then find a virgin to marry. The girls life is ruined because no one will accept her now.
    2. The virgin who the guy marries is also screwed cause she is expected to be the perfect woman who cooks and cleans for her husbands family. Whatever she earns cannot be used for herself.
    So it's either become a w***e in a guys eyes or be his doormat. Girls are screwed either way. And marital rape is considered legal here so that's even worse. So guys should be taught to tell women what kind of relationship they want before getting in to one. That and respecting women should be taught.

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  • I get what you are saying and I definitely wish the instant gratification culture would subside but just 2 critiques, take them as you will:
    1) This article seems just slightly sexist. Instead of advocating that women be the gatekeepers of sex perhaps you should also discuss why it is important for men to also choose not to be promiscuous.
    2) This article seems slightly preachy. I know you say you're not judging anyone in the article but I almost feel like I'm getting preached at by a minister.
    Well written article though

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    • I am sorry it came out as preachy and slightly sexist. The main thing is that promiscuity effects women far more negatively than men, the research I have done correlates to women more so, women have more to gain from waiting longer, and women are the only ones who can make this change!

      Men, yes there benefits too and should have addressed them more so. I don't think men or women should hook up. I think both are in the wrong and should have done better to express that.

      Thanks for the feedback!

    • No problem! I figured those things were unintentional so I just wanted to be sure you were aware of them

  • i think promiscuity is killing a lot more than chivalry

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    • I should have changed chivalry to relationships, that would have been a better suiting title. But you are right, it is destroying the family unit, relationships, creating poverty, more abortions, divorce, etc.

  • I don't want chivalry so if it's dying I don't really care.

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    • You don't want respect?

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    • All that she wants is another baby.

      Sorry I had to. JK.

    • Common curtosy. It isn't rocket science. All I require from a guy I'm dating is that he's nice and I enjoy spending time with him. We alternate paying for things, we both plan dates, the person who get there first holds the door.

  • Promiscuity kills literally everything. It destroys society.

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What Guys Said 47

  • Chivalry was a practice limited to knights and nobles in Europe prior to the Enlightenment.

    But even if we talk about chivalry in a more general sense, chivalry was common and necessary because, at the time, women had almost no power, authority, or standing on their own. They largely couldn't own property, have jobs to make money, and could not bring grievances to the government. In that time, women of noble birth or marriage were essentially there to birth and raise children for her husband. That's it.

    And while it's true that women were expected to be virgins at marriage, they were typically married at 15 or 16, in marriages arranged for them by their parents.

    Women today don't want that kind of life. Some may wish for the advantages they enjoyed under chivalry, but very, very few would trade everything they've gained to get them back. The world has changed and it isn't going back, so what happened in the past is largely irrelevant.

    What matters is that we figure out a better system for the future. A big part of the problems that we have today is that we're STILL teaching children about life (including education and career-planning, but also about relationships and marriage) based on pre-1960s expectations. Those expectations no longer apply, but my parents, who were raised in the 60s, certainly taught those expectations to me, and people of my generations have largely taught them to Gen Y, who have taught them to Millennials. Why? Because they're just passing on what they were taught without ever asking themselves "is any of this even still true today?"

    Basic morals of right and wrong aren't going to change, but a lot of the other details definitely have. Teaching anyone to expect chivalry today is like teaching them to use horses for transportation and telegrams for communication - it's WOEFULLY out of date.

    We need to adjust our expectations to the modern reality, and create guidelines and expectations that help people succeed in the MODERN world, instead of teaching them to expect something that hasn't existed in generations. That's just setting people up for failure.

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    • Chivallry is a colloqial term. The term can be used as respect. If you want to use the old usage for treatment of nobility that is fine. My referances isn't as so.

      Also, teaching kids respect will never be out if date.

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    • If you want to discuss the "colloquial" version of the "French code of ethics for Horsemen" (which had little to nothing to do with women, other than while in a courtly setting), then let's also remember that chivalrous treatment of women did not extend to slaves, servants, or women of low birth.

      Down with Chivalry, PLEASE!

    • @dragonfly6516

      Exactly. Thank you.

  • I gotta be up front and be honest and that would be that this is pretty true. As its all too common for girls to resort to "traping" guys when it comes to relationships. Such as thinking about purposely getting pregnant to force the guy to stay with them.

    Which to me if I were the guy and I overheard that my SO was planning to do that^ I'd just flat out leave the next day. Cause I ain't looking to get stuck with someone. i'm looking for the bond, communication not a forced relationship. That is so off putting its riddiculous. 99% of the time a issue with relationships could be fixed with communication.

    And no offense but girls consistently suck at communicating. If you really love and care about someone you should be confident with coming to them if you have an issue or something you need to talk to them about.

    I mean this goes so far as chivalry even, Uh no its not dead. Its just not done much cause rather than getting response such as a smile or a "Thank you." Guys are instead greeted with a sneer and the general misconception they are another "nice guy" when really they are just doing what they were taught to do. Chivalry exists its just not done willy nilly anymore because there are so many people who have given the idea of chivalry a bad rep.

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  • I think what others are saying holds some decent weight. In that women AS WELL AS men have lowered their standards exponentially. I'm not someone many would consider a "traditionalist" in the sexual sense - i. e. that I believe in waiting till marriage to consumate that attraction - but I understand more so than most where this post is coming from.

    I know the popular term is "fuckboi", but what is interesting to note is that from observations, these "fuckbois" are usually the embodiment of the new-age hipsterish-metrosexual and somewhat sexually androgynous types. And yes I'm also talking about the gym "brah's"! We live in an age where masculinity has been systematically attacked (as has traditional feminine energy by feminism), and many young men now have no standards, no sense of masculine identity, and to fill that void they try to patch it with the vapid attempts at reconciliation through deliberately detatched "over-promiscuity"...

    We all know the types... The six pack abs, HGH-induced muscle growth, and the bragging of "sexual conquest" through money shot pics from a chick they met on tinder or some shit... Yet these same man-boys could not fight their way out of a paper bag, they won't become leaders of any real capacity (and no a college degree and $100k a year is great material benefit, but not an exertion of true masculinity...) and they live their young lives banging "sloots", sniffing coke and generally just perpetuating dysfunctionality when they do eventually (accidentally) pro create.

    Same as women, generally, I see a lot of them demoralised by a lack of masculine energy in society, but like the males (not men) they do not know how to articulate this. So they also lower their standards and make the fundamental choice of opening their legs in order to fill an emptiness in their sexual identities... Mass-induced narcissism through (un) social media really has made it 1000× worse.

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    • I totally agree! Well said man! Social media is a huge issue now a days! To many seek validation from the eyes of others!

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    • I have skimmed over the top two barely, haven't watched the video yet but plan on it later on.

    • Cheers bro, I'll have a looksey when I get a chance and will get back to you!

  • My personal opinion on this is that divorce rates are shooting up because women do not need men anymore, women have used the power of their vote to change how government operates over the last century or so, in order to give them a safety net, this safety net has made the male role in the family unit redundant.

    So for example. We now have no fault divorce, that means women can divorce men at any time they like for any reason. And they are making use of this because statistically 70-80% of the time it's women filing for divorce.

    We have bias family courts that award custody of the children 90% to the mother.

    Those 90% of fathers now have to pay child maintenance to the mother for the children, and if they man refuses to pay he'll goto prison and the government will pay her through taxes.

    As a single mother can claim welfare from the government, and she can claim money for her children, and she can claim rent for her home or live in a hosue provided by the council.

    So we had this nice balance in the past, where families needed each other, men needed women and women needed men, and you knew you wouldn't make it on your own if things went bad, so you were bloody careful when you picked your partner that they were the kind of character who would stick around and make it work. And men and women worked together to make it work and the marriage vows actually meant something. Men needed women to raise their children and women needed men to support the family, so they worked together and they fought side by side through adversity.

    Your final closing point is that you say you're not telling anyone what to do, and that people are free to choose but they're not free from the consequences of their actions. And I'd argue that exactly the wrong way around, people have never been more free from the consequences of their actions.

    If a woman wanted to divorce a man 100 years ago, he'd still own the assets, he'd still own his house. She'd have to file for divorce and prove that it was warrented in some way otherwise she'd get nothing. She wouldn't keep the children, most of the time they'd be raised in the family home with the mans family and she would move back with her parents. Or the children would go to their grandparents to be raised. She wouldn't be rewarded with a stable income or a home from the government, she'd have to find her own arrangements.

    You want to talk consequences? Those were serious consequences. Today it's the exact opposite.

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    • How did I completely overlook this! I totally agree man, women are not marrying men, some are "marrying" the government. The gov, is the provider and you are spot on about divorce courts. It is a shame that people don't take responsibility. Yes, you are right about consequences as well. Abortion is taking away the consequences of being promiscuous since 99% of abortions are from (lack of want or fiscal issues). Stds are still a consequence, so is general dissatisfaction.

      However, men are getting the short end of the stick with divorce and thank you for bringing that point to life for me man! I greatly appreciate that!

    • Well I think that everyone ultimately gets the short end of the stick because at the end of the day it's causing us all more grief. Men certainly are hit the hardest that's for sure, the suicide rate post divorce for men is not only absolutely higher but it's something like 11x higher than womens. Men are just brutalized if this happens, and that's not good.

      But womens self reported happiness since voting to vastly inflate the government, that has gone down. I'd advise everyone read the meta study of published science on the self reported happiness of women over the last 100 years. One good paper is called "The Paradox of declining female happiness" which plots a decline in female happiness vs the increase in their rights/freedoms.

      The rule of thumb here is that government shouldn't be part of our private lives, that's what they have become, too large and expected to provide everything. It's a large part of why I'm libertarian.

    • Same here brother! Again awesome points bro! I think the gov should be out our lives unlike how it is now.

  • See, now that's how you do it. You're almost totally wrong, and I disagree with damn near everything you wrote, but you did it right by providing links and explaining WHY you have such wrong ideas. I do not, will not, and can not agree with you, but I respect the fact that you've given thought to the subject and looked for proof, even if you are wrong.

    Good job. I give you a thumbs up for that, not for the content.

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    • What makes you presume I am so wrong?

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    • We can learn off each other, that is the great thing about life. We can learn from our own mistakes, and learn from others mistakes as well. Yes, you are free to do whatever, but a fair warning would be nice right? I am not forcing anyone to do anything, everyone knows well they can choose. I am providing evidence of why they shouldn't do X, Y, and Z.

      Would you want a warning before you bought cigarettes? Or, would you tell the person giving you the warnings to stop offending people?

    • Fair enough, but that's not what you said. The point about warnings I will agree with. Relationshits should come with warnings about all the ways she can use the System and its laws to bend you over and fuck you with your pants on.

  • VERY good article. Its an old fashioned idea but I used to think of women as the gatekeepers of morality so to speak. A man would screw. More than ever women are simply being viewed as sex objects by men. Some throw their stuff out and expect to be afforded the same courtesies as women who don't. The women who don't sleep with someone within a week of meeting them are now being viewed as weird by some guys. One lady on GAG asked if anyone thought it was strange that she didn't sleep with a guy on the THIRD date? WTF? And porn? The author was dead on. Its toxic. More than ever more men than ever (young men at that) suffer from ED as a result of being addicted to porn. The real thing is not as enticing as watching a guy with 3 women on top of him. Crazy society.

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    • I am glad you agree my friend! It gives me hope that I am not alone on this, cheers!

  • I agree all the way but at the same time I don't care if chivalry gets killed or not. I no longer see a point in its existence, the way I see it now is nothing but a tool created by our government to keep us under control. like seriously who said the only purpose we men have in life is to find a dumb broad in our life to commit and have kids with?

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    • I should have changed the title to "How Promiscuity is Killing Relationships" Many people have also come to me with this issue, and I totally would have changed it. Chivalry yes can be good, isn't the main issue. I think I should have switched this to Relationships.

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    • What would MORE entail?

    • its a little long story but I wrote a mytake on it not too long ago, feel free to check it out when you get a chance

      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a48767-reasons-why-i-hold-such-negative-views-on-female-promiscuity-the

  • Not this again.

    Chivalry has nothing to do with women not really in the entire code of chivalry the only thing that has anything to do with women is this very short line.

    Treat women with respect.

    That's it only thing in the entire code that has to do with women.

    The idea of Chivalry relates to women and dating is a common misconception by people who don't know any better.

    The code mainly and primarily outlines the duties of a knight to the church, god and king as well as how one should act in society, on the battlefield and in one on one combat.

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    • Yes, treat the queen and other nobility with respect, not the common women...

      We can use the term differently now, the term has changed you know. It is not the old term it is a colloquial way for saying, respect, value, etc.

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    • I already know the meaning and context of the word and how it was used in that code.

      And again the code has nothing to do with women.

      Doesn't matter how many times you repeat yourself that's not going to change.

    • Alright man

  • At the end of the day, what matters is people's freedom to choose and if people continue to choose to sleep around then there is nothing to be done about it.

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  • This is all great, but it fails to mentions the simple fact that people are insufferable and always have been. People trigger each other constantly. Just because more people were married in the 50's, doesn't mean they were happily married. It doesn't help that we tell people that someday we will find that person who will accept us for who we are. You know how many insufferable people are out there? They all got that in the back of their mind. We should teach our children that they should improve their character first, or otherwise no model will bring genders together in happiness.

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    • I agree, personally i think people have become too sensitive. Character should be built foremost

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    • So true! I am very glad you said this! Hopefully these trends will change

    • Hope so too dude! One day perhaps.

  • I gotta admit, this is a pretty good mytake. With sources and all.
    And Im not into mytakes either, but this is good.

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  • I honestly don't see the problem. Humans are free thinking creatures and as such every individual is responsible for themselves. If the majority of them want to masturbate to porn daily, smoke, drink, do drugs, whatever that isn't directly hurting others, then I say let them. They will have to bear the responsibility for their actions, no matter how much they would blame others or circumstances or god or whatever. Freedom of the individual, when it comes to their leisure time, as long as it doesn't directly hurt someone else, should be as close to absolute as possible. That some or the majority would choose to spend it in ways you or I might disagree with, should have absolutely no bearing on anything. You've given your opinion, which I'd say was well-worded and understandable and perhaps some will agree with you and perhaps you've convinced some others of your view point. But I disagree calling anything you've said a problem. Natural disasters are a problem. Genocide is a problem. Famine is a problem. The fact that less marriages are succesful, that less men want to marry or have a long-term relationships or that men like to masturbate a few times a week or more, I don't consider that a problem. But then again, that is simply my view of it and you are free to think as you do.

    And to be perfectly honest, nothing that Beau Norton said about abstaining from masturbation for 30 has applied to me. I have rather irregular "need" for sexual release as I can go months without masturbating at a time and yet sometimes I just feel the want for it every day of the week. But I have never noticed a noticable difference in my energy, confidence or focus. So sounds like just the kind of bullshit that they were saying in during renaissance that masturbation will make you blind or shrivel, just less extreme. But who knows, maybe I just failed to notice the difference or that I'm different in that regard to the majority of men, which I honestly doubt.

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    • Thanks for that comment bro, really appreciate that level headed input!

      Yes, I think people are free to do as they wish, but I think giving people a fair warning is needed sometimes.

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    • Personally I'm indifferent as I think that the people that smoke or want to smoke won't actually be deterred by it. Also it's not like they have to put things like ISIS executions or other such things on Qurans either or pictures gross pictures of your body failing due to morbid obesity into fast food packagings either, so for me it just feels like "unjust" to single out smoking like that.

    • Yeah I see your point. At least I think the gross lungs and other facts should be as readily available so people can be educated about it.

  • Most of what you said is spot on, however while I agree that porn is damaging, masturbation and ejaculation is not. There's no science to support this idea of retaining "sexual energy" by not ejactulating. My guess is that refraining from doing so probably has kind of a placebo effect, but it doesn't actually change anything in reality.

    Many guys who struggle with porn addiction go to nofap and yourbrainonporn, and while there's some good advice there they go too far and it's a bit cultish. There are a lot of strange people in there with strange ideas (and often shame) about sex. They make huge exaggerations, one big one for example being that going without ejaculation raises testosterone levels. In fact all that happens is that testosterone levels spike at 7 days of abstinence then they return to normal levels.

    In fact regular sex (not masturbation) increases testosterone, abd actually dors provide all of the benefits you listed. Regular ejaculation also massively reduces the risk of prostate cancer. So the message should really be to ditch porn altogether and just have regular sex with someone you love.

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    • I am all for leaving porn, if you quit porn that is a blessing on its own and would be all I could ask.

  • People are masturbating just as much as they always have. You don't need porn to masturbate, but there has been porn since about forever. It's more convenient now, and there is a wider variety, but it's been around since before the printing press. The real problem in the US is economic inequality and the destruction of the middle class. People who marry after college tend to stay married. People who marry young without college have a much harder time. A guy used to be able to walk out of high school into a union job that would pay him enough to have a modest house, a car, and support a family. Not any more.

    Another reason for the higher divorce rate is that women have more financial independence and aren't stuck in a shitty marriage due to an inability to support themselves. My mother was stuck in a bad marriage because she didn't see how she could manage on her own.

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  • I really don't like chivalry. Too many rules, so many contradictions.
    Protect the weak (women and children), protect the king. What if the king slaughters women and children? What if the women start attacking the king? What if the women start eating their children? What if one of the three start attacking me?
    At what point do I cut off the kings head, or gut a woman, or execute a child?

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  • If you believe that men were more chivalrous in the 50s, you must be smoking crack. Sure, they were false modest: laid down their coats, etc., but spousal abuse was so common in the 50s that is was a running joke on many of the popular TV shows in that era.

    Most women don't put up with shit anymore, nor should they have had to. While I think there needs to be some give and take in a marriage, there are things a person should never have to deal with. For a long time, however, women were expected to just that: be quiet and take the abuse.

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    • I am saying most men and women didn't sleep around and yes, acted better. Was abuse common, yes, abuse is common at any point in history. The point of this was of how promiscuity isn't solving the issue you bring up, and is creating more issues. Yes, women have freedoms to divorce now which is great, however it is so common now that it is a misuse of divorce. Far too high to equate abuse.

    • The reason that divorce is so high is twofold: previous generations were spoonfed this fairytale bullshit about how marriage is supposed to be perfect, and so they jumped into it too quickly and were stuck in tough situations with partners they didn't necessarily love, and America has had this problem for the past few decades as a throw-away society. If it doesn't work, get rid of it.

      As for men and women "acting better", today's society is no worse or better than yesteryears, we just know about everyone else's improprieties so much better thanks to social media. People slept around all the time way back when, but even if their spouse caught them in it, they'd keep it hush-hush because divorce was seen as a terrible blight on one's social status.

    • I would ask for your sources of anyone rushing into marriage if anything the marriage rate has decreased since women and men are seeking their professional careers. Women are graduating more than men are so people are not as likely to be jumping into marriages. Especially during the 60s and 70s when experimenting was the rule of thumb and marriage wasn't as desired as you may think. I also have shown here why promiscuity is making divorce so high, the more sexual partners you have the higher the chance of divorce is.

  • Like a lot of things if you can take a very black and white view of things, you can get a distorted picture. I agree with some of your points but have a few counter arguments.
    (1) Increased divorce rates - Nowadays people have the freedom to leave bad marriages which could contribute to an increase
    (2) Too much masturbation - I masturbate twice a day (bad) if I have sexual relations with a partner to ejaculation (s) twice a day , is this also bad?
    (3) Sensible pre marital or pre relationship sex, possibly finding out about yourself and physical chemistry with someone instead of waiting to marriage to find out we were really good friends but not great lovers.
    Overall I accept the general thrust of your argument, I just wouldn't be so puritanical about it.

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    • Yes, abusive relationships are why divorce is so good, however 20 - 25%? I am not so sure, since the main reason for divorce is dissatisfaction. Abuse is a good reason, however isn't the main one which is why I pointed out how the more sexual partners before marriage leads to a higher chance of divorce be dissatisfaction. Don't get wrong, abuse is still an issue and a terrible thing.

      There are many reasons why masturbation is bad. Masturbation, ejaculation in general is a releases of many nutrients your body has, and uses them cheaply. Also, if you use porn, that has a toll on your mind, makes you lazy, think about people as objects, etc. Sometimes porn pushes you to act those fetishes you see into reality. There is no need to masturbate and the main issue is being that it is an addiction. No one needs to masturbate, they just want to. Having control of your impulses and desires is more important than satisfying a "itch" or lust. Masturbation is based on lust usually.

    • Which isn't good for your mind and body. Porn also kills your productivity and creativity, can create stress and depression since many uses porn to fill a void in their heart or to run away from their issues and besides facing them, they ignore them and focus on pleasure. Porn is a distraction and is slowly killing you.

      What evidence is there for sexual compatibility? I mean, communicate what you like and practice. Also, who is to say you can't speak about sex until marriage? You can let the partner know what they like before marriage as well. I mean, not everything since they haven't had sex, however they can say what they might like. There is evidence that couples with less partners are more happy, so I am not to sure if sexual compatibility is a significant issue.

      Great questions man, cheers

  • This world view offends me as a man lol. Dont get me wrong, I'm not snow flaking on you. You're entitled to w/e crazy shit you wanna believe in. I support you. But like... I'm not gunna treat a girl right and work for her affection b/c sluts? Seriously? lol.
    I just think you're wrong. On many counts, not just that one.

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    • I get that bro, I might not have elaborated on a majority of parts and can if you'd like. I am telling people to act respectful to get respect.

    • I guess I just dont see how "I like sex b/c of course I do" somehow means a person isn't deserving of respect? Or less respect? Like, have I completely misunderstood what you're saying, or? lol.

    • Sex is a intimate thing, the most intimate thing you can do with another. It is up to how you and I value sex. Some see it as just a physical act, I see it as an expression of love, meant for love, not meant for anyone that you lust too. Now, yes it is very tempting not to do that, however I believe the right way to have sex is with someone you love not just lust too.

      I am not saying they don't deserve respect, I am saying is there are clear consequences of promiscuity and respecting yourself is not giving yourself away to any call. Since of course, sex is suppose to be love.

  • I really enjoyed reading this, and I was actually holding off of it for around two weeks before I finally took my time to start and finish it. This is about it. "The Calling". I needed to understand better, as I myself couldn't ever put it into words. My whole reason for abstaining was basically a "just because"- a reason a lot of guys try living up to, but is as fragile as is.

    I've said this around a couple of times, but I think I'm one of the few people that actualy managed to see masturbation from an outsider's point of view. I didn't start masturbating until I turned 18 (gray moral reasons), and have experienced it's effects firsthand. I always eather introverted, shy and had all of those bad things associated with it. I actually became less "stiff" and a lot more confident... but probably only on the outside. I felt a lot more fragile in an internal level, as if I lost a part of myself and I started to become more like others, with all their insecurities, fear and anxiety.

    I apologise for the short life story, but I wanted to give my take on it. I used to think it was pretty fucked up when apparently masturbating thinking about a girl at school was the "normal" thing.

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  • Great take - I would agree!

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    • Thanks man, appreciate that!

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    • I don't want kids, no. Perhaps things will change but I am pretty happy living along and going out with friends occasionally. The family life just doesn't really seem exciting to me tbh

    • Interesting, we all have our ideals, I always thought it would be nice to raise a family one day, give everything I have to family ya know?

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