5 Things I Have Learnt From Dating Apps (Good and Bad!)

Ah yes, online dating. There are thousands of articles on this subject and I know everyone's opinion is different. But since this is a MyTake after all, I thought I would share my experience as a single female in a small town where my options aren't endless and neither are the choices of where the first date would be.

For starters, there's the choice of an unpaid dating app or a paid dating app. I have used both and have found more matches on the unpaid apps than the latter. I believe this has a lot to do with the fact people don't actually want to spend money on the slight chance that they may meet someone great when they could just download an app for free and swipe away. I do think there are genuine guys on the paid apps but not nearly as many to choose from.

Speaking of choices, sometimes I look back and think, "This is really how dating has become?" It's extremely materialistic, confusing and frustrating. But I'm not here to give you all the things your parents and the internet warns you about. I just want to throw 5 things out there I have learned and will hopefully help someone else in this online dating world.

1. Make sure your profile is up to date and unique. Be yourself!

Use a few photos that are all less than a year or two old. I think its important to include a pic with friends or a full body shot instead of all close up selfies. DO NOT be that girl or guy who includes all group pics so its like a guessing game of who you're matching with. Throw in a few sentences of what you like to do or what you're looking for. Keep it simple and put things that YOU like to do, not what you think the opposite sex will like.

2. Talk to them for a few weeks or months to get to know them, but don't just make someone a texting buddy.

The end goal is dating after all. I have made the mistake of spending too much time getting to know them over texting or social media vs. actually meeting up with them and I think people lose interest if you just become a random number in someone's phone. Of course it's better to text a little at first so you don't just meet up with any random stranger or serial killer.

3. Be clear about what you're looking for...

Too many people are so vague about what they want on dating apps. I think this is mostly because they don't even know what they want themselves. But in my opinion, if you're only looking for sex, then put that in your profile! Nothing wrong with being upfront and honest. If you wanna get married tomorrow, add it to your bio! Foot fetish? Throw it in there! Honesty is key in dating profiles.

4. Don't ghost people, even if you've lost interest or are too busy to talk anymore.

Sadly, I have done this and regret it a lot. But I have also been ghosted many times and it completely sucks. You're really hitting it off with someone, even may go on a few dates and out of the blue you never hear from them again. I have learned that its MUCH better to at least be honest to text the person that you're no longer interested or are just too busy to date. A text takes 10 seconds to explain how you're feeling compared to the other person wondering for hours or days what they did wrong.

5. Don't expect much but also don't be afraid to go on lots of dates!

The biggest thing I have learned is to never get your hopes up that you're going to meet the man or woman of your dreams on Tinder. I have gone on a handful of really great dates but also some pretty horrible dates. I have dated someone for a year from a dating app. I've been on dating apps on and off for the past couple of years and have learned that you also shouldn't be afraid to go on all of the dates you can. You never know who you're going to hit it off with! What do you have to lose? If anything, you'll have a funny story to tell friends. Lord knows I have enough of those.

I hope this has helped someone out there trying to navigate all those dating apps. And please don't be too harsh on me, first MyTake here! :) Please leave your own advice below, I wanna know what others think about dating apps too.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nice Take! As an online dating coach the best advice I can give for now and in 2018 is... GET BETTER PHOTOS. People are more and more not paying attention to your profile but getting that spark of interest from great photos. Get a photographer off FB in your town negotiate a package. Having great photos is 90% of the game. You can use them on all the apps.. you are bound to connect with someone.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Great info. Thanks.

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Join the discussion

What Guys Said 23

  • "5. Don't expect much but also don't be afraid to go on lots of dates!"

    You're right about one thing. Never get your hopes up. Nothing is ever guaranteed, particularly not so much when it comes to "good" things. I don't believe in all of this stuff with dating and relationships especially not with online dating and apps, to be frank. Just like how I don't believe in love.

    I think things like WeGoDo or similar where people can just meet up and actually go do something makes more sense if not better sense. Well, at least to me anyway. Since it's just meeting up to talk and do something or go somewhere instead of an actual "date" or the typical stuff that people do for a date, then there's less pressures, less stress and frustrations involved. Because if things didn't work out? Oh well the. NBD, because you'd know and remember that it was never exactly a "date" to begin with.

    As for what I'm looking for, well it's definitely NOT a date. But rather instead, I would prefer to talk for 5 minutes, no obligations, if you don't like what you hear from me, you can always go back to doing what you want to do. Otherwise, if possible, then we'll talk as long as possible until either of us want to get going or if either of us need to be somewhere else that requires us to be there. That's what I'd do instead, helps figure out what we want to do, where we'd want to go, etc. the next time we meet again, that is "if" it happens of course. That is if we decide to meet again.

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  • A good alternative is:
    https://allevents.in/

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  • Here's what I learned. (The condensed version)

    1. Be hot.
    2. Your sexual orientation is kinda meh whatevs.
    3. Don't get upset when women demand that you write them a novel about yourself while they send you: *See photo*
    4. Women DO NOT want men their age.
    5. *If #1 is affirmative. The words you write in your profile are kind of irrelevant.
    6. Lots of mental health issues, and low self esteem. Like... "you're gonna cry after sex aren't you?' kinda bad,
    7. Most of them have some sort of chip on their shoulder. Hence being on a dating site in the first place.

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  • Good take in general but I think you’ve got the whole paid thing the wing way around.

    Guys on the paid app are picker so you get less matches. On the free app they swipe right on anything or actually just spam swipe without looking hence, most times you as a girl swipe you’re likely to get a match.

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  • Interesting read - never used a dating app, and hoping never to need to, so it's good to get this perspective.

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  • What I have learnt from Dating Apps:
    1 - Look counts even more there than in real life.
    2 - I'm even uglier than I thought, since I had a Tinder, OKCupid and Lovoo accounts for almost two years and got maybe 9 matches and not one single message.

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  • I agree with the vast majority of what you say only disagreement is the paid/unpaid online dating, I feel the payers are more series and the free sites are full of messers , catfishes and I'll just try this to see what it is like so finding someone genuine that connects with you is like mining for a precious metal.

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  • #6- that all women who use dating apps are in it for free dinner and attention

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  • Excellent take!
    I would suggest everyone trying dating sites, but you need to be careful, there are a lot of scammers and players, and you need to know what you're looking for...
    Okcupid is my favorite site by the way

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  • Have no expectations, and you will never be disappointed.

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  • you just said "Talk to them for a few weeks or months to get to know them, but don't just make someone a texting buddy"

    if you talk to them for weeks or months you are a texting buddy lmmaooo

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  • I haven't used dating apps yet but, plan to use it in the near future.
    by the way, can you react to my first Mytake. It's about music.

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  • Weeks and months? You're taking too long if you using free apps lol

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  • "I have learned that its MUCH better to at least be honest to text the person that you're no longer interested or are just too busy to date."

    Im not even CRAZY to doing this.

    Believe me if you do that (be honest, and tell the truth) the person will hate you to fell rejected! In some cases they blocked and be angry thinking you are a bed person and some spread lies about you.

    "Most people are not prepared for the truth".

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  • !. All married women cheat eventually.

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  • You'd be great to meet on a dating app!

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  • Hmmmm

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  • Thank You

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  • If only more chicks on dating aps were like you.

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  • Thank you

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What Girls Said 13

  • I disagree. You shouldn't talk to someone for weeks or months. Youexchance a few messages and meet right away. Otherwise you're just wasting your time in my opinion

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    • I do agree with you as that's how I am, but I made this more for beginners assuming they are nervous and most people won't jump into seeing someone within a few days. I should have worded that differently so I get what you're saying!

  • It works for some,
    For me particularly, I keep my distance from dating apps where we become creep magnets with all kinds of guys saying all kinds of nice to not nice stuff.

    Also I have a had a bunch of my girl friends be cat fished and played by players and fuckbois pretending to be a nice guy to get easy sex.

    Also I dont think that most women come off from these apps with a good taste in their mouth.

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  • 2. Talk to them for a few weeks or months to get to know them, but don't just make someone a texting buddy.

    Dude you say months... Like are you looking for a penpal? I only talk for 1-2 days and immediately ask them out.

    Rest is good. Be clear for what you want and if what he wants is not the same dont afraid to walk away. Dont put all your eggs into ne basket. Go on a lot of dates to experience new things and see what you "dont" want in a partner. Dont stress out too much and dont have high expectations on one single person. If you didn't like the person after first date, or first couple texts, kindly tell them you dont think you should be talking or seeing each other rather than ignoring and acting like a child and not talking, and ghosting them

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    • 'Talk to them for a few weeks or months to get to know them'

      Found that out the hard way, you're their temporary squeak toy until they get a 'real' boyfriend. They never had any intention of meeting you in person. If she doesn't want to meet up after a handful of messages peace out.

    • @demonics exactly. I message someone at most 1-2 days both days like maybe an hour or so. So like not really more than 20-25 texts regarding short info on hobbies job if person is non smoker and non religious. That’s it

    • Great girls though.. just obviously lonely and depressed. You want to 'rescue' them all...

  • I definitely agree with 3. If your not looking anything serious and just looking to have fun or seek validation from people, then let them know immediately or just stop online dating all together cause its not fair to people who really are looking for someone.

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  • Lmao #4. there's only one guy i regret ghosting. But i had a stalker at the time and the guy took to long to reply, so i had to just up and leave

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  • I v learnt a lot same pattern of online flirt and Im proud that I can found a different special one by DA.

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  • I've used both paid sites and unpaid sites. I also prefer the unpaid ones because there are more people on there and it's easier to match with someone. The paid sites are kind of dead and I think a lot of profiles on those sites are inactive.

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  • Great myTake I'll be sure to use this advice when I try dating apps.

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  • dating apps are nice but you gotta watch out for the married women! LOL

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  • That you need to meet in a very public place because people aren't always how there profiles make them seem.

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  • Spot on, great read.
    thanks :)

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  • Interesting take

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  • good points all around. I just can't make myself try online dating. I would like an animal in a zoo where everyone is looking and judging me.
    I would get rejected based on a flaw someone can find and not given a chance to meet someone in person.
    I don't think I take good pictures even though I have been told I'm attractive.
    Same things goes for guys. I'm sure there are many nice guys out there but I hear everyone is looking for the hottest girl out there and if I'm not that why would I even want to try.

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