Male Virginity Is Hell Once You Pass Mid Twenties

I've seen too many times people trying to minimize how bad being an adult male virgin is. And I guess most of them are good-hearted, but they aren't doing any good, I'm afraid. I think in the end the only thing that will work is the truth. Even if it's harsh.

When you are an adult male virgin people look at you as a failure. I've been there and I know about it. Even if you've never said you are a virgin, they know. If they've been with you for a while, they already know about you. They just won't mention it. And you too know the know. And how they see you. But don't get me wrong. Virginity isn't bad per se. It's just society who puts all this in a bad position.

Male Virginity Is Hell Once You Pass Mid Twenties


Many girls out there won't have sex with an adult male virgin. Or put it other way with a guy who's 23 or older and has never had sex. They will think there's something wrong with him. That he's going to be bad at sex. And what not.

Most of the girl won't look for an adult male virgin when looking for a partner. They could engage eventually if somehow they end up messing with the guy without guessing he's a virgin. But they won't ever be actively looking for a virgin guy.


A small subset of girls out there could prefer a virgin guy. But if that's the case it's most probably due to the fact that those girls are adult virgins themselves. The number is really small because many virgin girl will prefer an experienced guy anyway. In general, 42% of women won't date a virgin guy.
The chances of getting laid start dropping drastically once you are 25 years old.

The average woman wants to have sex as much as the average men does. That's why most of them won't pick a virgin if they can choose. An experienced guy is a promise of getting sex faster and better quality.

What to do then? If you are a male virgin soon to be 22 or you are older than that already, start changing. First of all lose your virginity. Don't start making excuses like "I want a girl who loves me", "I want my first time to be special", and such. The chances your first time is going to be a wonderful experience are pretty much null anyway. There is no perfect girl, there isn't the right one. Specially, fro just losing it. Just have some sex and then you can worry about getting the right girl for you.

There isn't anything worst than waiting years for the right girl. And end up having sex with a girl who's been with fifteen, twenty-five guys before you. And get ready for that anyway because you will hardly find a virgin girl over twenty-two.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Three words: Cougar Datng Websites.

    Try an older "Cougar" divorcee, who wants to "get her groove back". She might just be the one to break you in. Your initial lack of "game" in such a situation will be non-threatening, and therefore downright appealing, to an older divorcee. And by interactions of this nature, you will get "game". No, the relationship probably will not last, but it will be mutually beneficial at first. And then, by the time you are the age of the Cougars yourself, you may even be trolling for younger babes! Or you may have already found someone and settled in.

Most Helpful Girl

  • lol. people on here make virginity seem like a disease...

    • I know, it is so fricking sad! There is nothing wrong being the virgin at a later age! Some women and some men are so fricking shallow!

    • lol. A lot of people make virginity seem sacred or wonderful.

    • You women are so privileged you don't understand.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 16
  • Eh, I wouldn't fret. You should probably stop internalising it because it really starts to destroy you.

    • Easy for a woman to say when you can have sex literally anytime you want. Internalizing does not destroy you; rather, people internalize it because the virginity itself has already destroyed them.

    • @The_Underground_Man I think there’s is this constantly perpetrating idea that the loss of virginity is this massive deal that changes you as a person. That’s how I felt and there was a definite congratulative aspect to having sex or hooking up with boys in my high School, and pressure to be one of the “sex havers” so to speak. The truth is despite thinking I would feel utterly different after the process and my social status would be elevated, little changed if anything. I got a couple of pats on the back and realised sex is fun, but not the massive life changing event that we think it is.

    • @lilaqua Agree. But for someone who waits until, let's say 28, for losing it. It's life changing. But the thing more life changing there is actually waiting that much. You never go back of being a virgin until your late twenties.

  • Just don't tell someone that you're a virgin, it's not a big deal and anyone who asks is kinda lame honestly. Just relax

    • Bad advice! I didn't tell the girl I lost my virginity to, lasted not very long, as virgins are won't to do and she was FURIOUS.

    • She sounds kinda awful. It's mean to be upset with someone over that, but then again I haven't had guys that last more than a couple minutes so what do I know lol

  • All you have to do is stop caring about it. Just drop it and focus on the things that make you happy. That's what I did. And it has helped a lot. I'm 27 and never kissed or dated. Sure there are nights when I feel like negative thoughts are taking over my head, but I kill them by turning to something I enjoy.
    And what are the clues that a guy is a virgin without getting him in bed? Is it the way he walks? Talks? Some personality trait? How do you tell?

    • It isn't about hiding it. Because the central point here is haw you feel about it. Don't get me wrong, I know every one is entitled to choosing. But some people try to create a myth about virginity being great, when it actually isn't. You admit having negative thoughts about it. And then you have to focus on something different to avoid them. Then you are eager to stop being a virgin. And it's fine if you haven't archived that yet. But don't lie to yourself and specially don't lie to others saying it's great.

    • I'm not saying that virginity is great. And there is no need to lie to myself or others. I'm just trying to explain how to prevent it from ruining your life. How to not let that one thing (virginity) hold you back from succeeding in other parts of life. The reason I get those negative thoughts every once in a while is because it's something that I have not experienced. Would I like to experience it? Sure. Is it a big goal on my list? No. I got other things I wanna do. And you do too.

    • Aren't you afraid you could end up falling for a girl, (finally) having sex with her, and then realize she's been having sex for a decade with a lot of guys. And in the end you both end up being part of a couple. Where certain level of equality is expected. And then you will have literally no-sexual-experience while she's extremely experienced? Won't you find it unfair that she had the opportunity to have sex with a lot of guys and she's the only girl you've ever been with?

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  • Peoples judgment come from a ground of sinfulness and imperfection. Its only God you should care to not dissapoint, not society. It's a problem only if you let it become one.

  • "The chances of getting laid start dropping drastically once you are 25 years old."

    I'm 24 and the opportunities that I have today don't even compare to when I was 21. Are you just saying it drops for virgin men?

    • For a virgin man, sure.

    • Sure or yes? What exactly were you referencing?

    • I was talking about virgin males. Their chances drop.

  • Just lie about being a virgin.

  • OP, I know a similar feel. I suppose I only have 11 more years until I'm a wizard.

  • Wait, if 42% of women won't date a virgin guy doesn't that mean that 58% will? Those aren't terrible odds.

    • The other 58% could eventually do it. It doesn't mean they are looking for it. Then a virgin male should not only find one of those girls but also pray she isn't dating another guy, and she is going to like him, and such. Any given guy (non-virgin) has certain chances of getting laid with a random girl. Let's say 50% for the sake of this idea. If you are a virgin you will have 50% chances over a 58% of the total, which is 29% chances. Compared with the other guy who got 50% you are in a bad position. I mean, having a 42% gone before hand is not good news.

  • As a man you're expected to have a lot of experience. I'm not a virgin, but this girl told me I had to tell her how many women I slept with before I slept with her. I was honest and said two, and just like that it was off.

  • Yes it is.
    I made a promise to myself that I will get laid with the next girl I date.
    I feel the same way about virgin girls. There are some female virgins over 22, most girls have lost it before than.
    And I've noticed that even the virgin girls in their mid 20s have at least performed oral sex.

  • Whatever. I was considerably more depressed in my 20's than now because I was, and still am now, a virgin, couldn't drive to look for a job or get to work if I found one or take a girl on dates and get to a point of having sex with her, didn't then but do now have a job and everything else just sucked. Things have changed since I turned 30, my inability to drive and lack of sexual experience are not among them and by this point, I just do not care. If it happens, great, but I prefer my solitude because I get burnt out on people easily just going to work, so the odds aren't in my favor and I refuse to try. Why should I?

  • Yeah I sometimes get mad that movie was made, The 40-Year Old Virgin, my feelings have softened a lot towards the sex worker industry

  • Lol dude sex is a natural instinct. It's not hard at all to learn sexual skills. At 12 I already knew my way with woman in bed.

    And besides quit worrying about society. Who cares what society thinks if a man is a virgin or not. It's not their business.

    • It is a natural instinct but women normally don't make the moves in order to get sex, it's normally on the guy's shoulders to get the woman in bed, not the other way around

  • Who cares what other people think? You do you. By the way, try backpage.

  • I’m waiting until marriage, period.

    • Have you ever had a girlfriend? Was she a virgin too?

    • I just hope you find a virgin. I'm waiting too, but I refuse to be an insurance policy. I will not settle for the leftovers of another man. I would rather get a mail order bride than marry damaged goods.

  • Nah man, I just stick with the 58% of girls who will want a guy who is a virgin. If a girl doesn't like me the way I am, then she could go and search for someone else, because we aren't compatible from the beginning.

    You say just go and have sex. How do you mean it? Should I see a hooker? Here in Germany, prositution is legal, but I doubt that more girls would be willing to have sex with me in this case. And I'm never even gonna think about having sex with a prostitute.

  • I wouldn't now Im not a virgin but I believe im not a virgin because im a very charming guy , I mean it bothers me a guy would be a virgin past his twenties because he never tried being charming to a female

  • I disagree that it should be a goal just to lose your virginity ever. Obviously the first time's unlikely to be a perfect but it should always be with someone you care about and who cares about making it a good first time for you

    Also, you're being pretty hypocritical in implying it's bad for women to have had lots of partners. Regardless of gender; there's nothing wrong with having many partners and there's nothing wrong with having none!

  • hmm. im a +30 male virgin. i used to obsess about it, and hate myself for that.
    nowadays, though, i've found a good share of hobbies and things that allow me to not obsess about it anymore, and thus i hate myself much less about it.

    well, then again that is just me. perhaps for others it can be far worse.

    • The point is being a virgin at that age still sucks. And it's great that you found a way to not feel so bad about it. But that doesn't change the fact that it's awful. If you had the chance to have sex with a girl you like, you would do it.

    • hmm. i really dont think it sucks, at least for me. of course i can't speak for others, though. then again, lately i've begun to think im actually an asexual dude, and if that is the case, then of course i can't speak for straight guys in a late virgin situation.

    • Sure. If you don't feel the need you won't be upset. But you said you used to obsess about it. Which doesn't sound like you are asexual, but sounds more like you have given up on it. Which would be sad because even if it sucks, you can lost your virginity today, tomorrow, whenever.

  • It's sexist how it's ok for a woman to be a virgin, but if a man is one, he's a loser.

    • I agree. But I'm talking about how a virgin male feels about himself. Even though society's judgement will influence on how you feel.