Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

"Sexual Harassment: harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks."

That's the definition I pulled straight from Google. "Typically Women" because most Men may define it differently if it happens to them. In 2015, 6,822 sexual harassment claims were filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). 17.1 percent of those cases were filed by men. Some men may not report their harassment or file a claim with the EEOC because they are afraid of being mocked by coworkers. They may believe that men can’t truly be sexually harassed by a woman, or that being harassed by another man implicates their own sexuality. They may fear being embarrassed if details of the harassment were leaked, particularly if they believe that they should be able to handle the issue themselves. Whatever the reason, it is evident that many men are simply not filing claims of sexual harassment.

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

Harassment of Men usually starts just before puberty and it comes from other guys. While women wonder about when their boobs are gonna grow, Men wait for pubic hairs. Kids are cruel, as the saying goes, so if a guy hasn't started growing hair at the same point as everyone else then we get mocked. "You don't have pubes yet? So that must mean you're gay." Thus this becomes the norm. It's not harassment it's teasing at worst. Growing up we're called a whole host of different slurs by our friends, strangers and some women. "Gay, Fag, Homo and Queer" again they're not sexually harassing us it's just teasing...right. This starts when we are about 10 years old and just never stops.

Even while writing this I still view everything that has happened as teasing.

When I turned 11 I had to lie about having sex to avoid the next stage of teasing/harassment. Being called "Fag" is a small issue next to not getting laid. If you as a Man can't provide details and names of conquests you risk expulsion from society as you know it. You become an lonely Island between two sexually active countries that you're forced to interact with. "You're shit not working there, Needle Dick? It must be so small that chicks can't find it!" Again this is all supposed to be in jest. But all this does is shame virgin males into either silence or out right lying. The shame sticks with you until you have sex. Lets face it in our society if a Man is not having sex he's treated like Quasimodo and not considered much of a Man.

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

But if you want traditional examples of Sexual Harassment I'll give you three of the bigger, most recent ones that happened to me in life. And no disrespect to @LittleSally but I will stay away from "Bus People" as examples. (Taking a bus any where is iffy at best.) Back when I was married one of my wife's friends would constantly corner me when I wasn't around the wife. At first it was just comments like "You're too hot for her." or "You've got a sexy ass." when passing by her. Soon it became much, much more.

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

It seemed like she waited for me where ever I went when my wife and I were hanging out with her and her husband. This woman would grab my ass, make sexual comments and flash me whenever she could. The clincher was one day I wound up going to the bathroom. (Something I tried not to do with her around for another reason.) I just got into the bathroom when she popped out from behind the door closing and locking it behind her. Up until this point I had been rebuffing her advances and putting myself down in hopes she'd leave me alone. In the bathroom though she wasn't taking no for an answer.

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

She grabbed my hand and placed it on her breasts, I pulled it away, so she flipped off her shirt and tried to put my hand back on them. Not wanting to be caught like this and having to explain this to my wife and her husband I very quietly told her I had absolutely no interest in her. "Men always want sex. You're just playing hard to get." is what she said making a play for my pants. At that point I slapped her. (I'm not proud of that. It was the first and last time I've done that.) She fell to the ground and mocked crying which made me feel horrible and ashamed. I reached down to pull her up and she pulled me on top of her. She tried to kiss me and said that if I didn't have sex with her I'd regret it. I stormed out of the bathroom and told my wife I wasn't feeling good, meaning we had to leave.

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

I've never told anyone about it. The woman who had tried to rape me in the bathroom got divorced a few months later. She confessed to my wife that I was the one that was coming on to her and exposing myself to her. I tried to explain it to my wife but she wouldn't listen and thought it was my way of trying to lie my way out of it. In the end I wound up truly regretting it because it cost me a marriage.

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

A few years later, I was working in a retail job with a female co-worker who seemed to be a fast friend friend at first. I like to think of myself as a good guy so when she asked if I would help her move I was happy to help. I came by to her place the next day which I admit I was kinda late showing up. So by the time I got there the only thing left to move was her bedroom. We went into the bedroom and I said we should start with the bed. I'm guessing she thought that was code for sex because she pounced on me. She was so fast and aggressive I wasn't sure what was going on. She yanked my pants down so hard that I snapped to and quickly ran out of there. Most people would take that as a huge "No" but she kept trying so much that I transferred to another store within 2 weeks. I told my Boss why and said "Don't tell her where I am please." With that I never saw her again.

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

Lastly, At my newest job we have small lockers for our tips. The lockers are marked by magnets with our names on them. The funny thing to do was hide said magnets or stuff the lockers with some office crap. One night after having my locker stuffed I hid a magnet of the person I thought responsible for it and took mine home. Three of us had been slowly escalating the pranks that week, to the point where it was getting out of hand. The next day I brought in doughnuts to kinda calm things down. I left them in the office and went to the lockers.

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

Apparently when they couldn't find my magnet they made one for me. The magnet was labeled "PJ The Cunt Muffin" which I did find a bit funny because they had drawn a muffin on the magnet. But the part that got to me was they had also taped half a Tampon colored blood red to it. As the night went on I was texting the Woman who had participated in the "prank" getting more offended as she replied. I told her it "crossed a line" and she said I couldn't take a joke. To which I replied "That's like me taping a condom to your magnet and filling it with white icing!" Telling her that if I had done that I would've been fired and taken to county jail where I'd sit until my sexual harassment trial was over.

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed

She played it off saying she would have found it funny. (Seriously if you walked into that first thing at work with no warning I think you'd be pissed as well.) By the end of our chat I found myself so disgusted by the "prank" I felt no choice but to tell the Boss. I had almost walked out by that point but the Boss talked me down. When the Boss confronted her about it she lied. "It wasn't her idea." I showed the Boss the texts adding that a 17yr old boy and a 35yr old man do not carry tampons around so she HAD to be in on it! The major insult here is that she still works with me at the store.

A Man would've been fired outright for that.

The main point of all these stories is that ALL OF US are Sexually Harassed. Women may report it more but we all suffer through it, regardless of gender. It affects everyone. While I think we should be more mindful of what we say and do, I also think it will never truly be stamped out. Men and Women are just too inherently different for it to go unnoticed by either side. That being said, If you are harassed you should speak up and if need be do it publicly so if bad things happen a timeline can be established properly. So that the truly bad ones are identified and promptly locked away.

Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed
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Most Helpful Guy

  • When I was 15 I was being harassed by a 30-something year old gay man for and extended period of time.

    I never "spoke up" about it because to be brutally honest, it didn't "affect" me in any way.
    Sure it was uncomfortable and sure I'd prefer it to not happen, but with all due respect to all "victims" of sexual harassment who feel a different way, it never even came close to the displeasure of being physically bullied by a bigger guy in the 8th grade.

    So as much as I want to emphasize with #metoo, I can't.
    I experienced it myself, and even I still think that they are just a bunch of whiny rabble that is just another facet of the modern victimhood culture that cannot function without constantly drawing attention to its insignificant problems.

    • THIS! ^^^^ 10/10 best comment here.

    • True. But if that faggot fucked you up the ass it would be a different story tough.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's very brave of you to let write about something so horrible and posting it... I'm very sorry this shit cost you a marriage... being a victim myself I can completely understand what you must've gone through.. this sticks with you for life.. but you're getting this off chest which is awesome 😊

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 8
  • Thank you for writing about your experiences. This social stigma surrounding male victims of sexual harassment/abuse will not go anywhere unless men start stepping forward, sharing their stories and creating a voice for themselves. You are very brave for sharing your story.

  • Very brave for writing about your experiences. I'm sorry this happened to you.

    From what I gather when women sexually harass a man they're very aggressive right off the bat and they genuinely think men want to sleep with women no matter the woman, the time, the place or anything else... that sex is some kind of catnip for men. Which is just an utterly crazy state of mind.

    P. S.
    As for your buses comment - all people here ride them, lunatics are few and far between... you'd be just as likely to find them around the corner of your favorite coffee place as you'd be to encounter them in the bus...

    • I've noticed that if you pay attention when you take a flight or ride a bus the longer the ride the more people start to devolve. Which is why I don't do that much anymore. I wasn't trying to lessen what you went through or anything. Simply stating that bus rides can get freaky.

    • @littlesally if you read what lord chilled wrote you'll see why most guys IRL don't come forward.

  • Yes. Speaking up will shine a light and possibly, eventually, make sexual harassment a thing of the past.

  • That's just awful mate.
    Especially the married woman coming onto you and then ruining your marriage.
    Our bodies our space.

  • And this is why, ladies and gentlemen, I discourage women and men getting too personal and close. You never knoe when you come across someone intending to ruin your family.

  • IF "Being Human Means Being Sexually Harassed" , I must be an angel

    http://i.imgur.com/T01vbNQ.gif

    or an animal.

    www.theecologist.org/.../378885.jpg

  • Very nice mytake! That really debunked her initial mytake! Well done PJ!

    I feel ya being sexually harassed.

  • Well, first of all, i feel you and empathize with your unfortunate situation.

    But, tbh im kinda pissed at you that you let something like that ruin your marriage.
    As much as it was her fault, it was also partly your fault.
    You were wayy too naive and soft in how you handled your situation.
    If you value your relationship and some c unt tries to hit on you, you need to tell her to back off or you will lay her out, c unt. Yes call her c unt at the end of the sentence.( separated, because pc gag can't handle curse words).
    By doing nothing, you let the situation escalate. 99% of girls would lose incentive at that point.
    Also, tell your wife. Immediately.
    The bathroom situation,,, omg...
    When you slapped her i was like "yes, finally, you manned up" but then you went chicken shit and concerned for her. Should have grabbed her by the hair and thrown her out. And again, tell the wife.
    Man, i really dont wanna do victim blaming here, but you truly handled that the worst way you could. And it cost you your marriage. The biggest mistake you did was not telling your wife. As soon as a girl hits on you, you need to let her know. there's a really good chance that she will believe you, if ever you come to a your words vs hers situation later on, if you do this.
    And since she was her friend, you really, really had to tell her, because its easy to trust husbands words over a random female, bit with a female friend, its a strong possibility that she may believe her.

    Well no point in discussing it now. Just in the future, remember to not be so f'in soft man, coz this type of shit seems to happen to you a lot.
    If a betch tries to harrass you, call her a betch and tell her to f off.
    If one tries to rape you, lay her out. And dont fucking feel bad for her.
    What do you think is gonna happen? she's gonna call the cops, say a fake story? 90% of the time, if you actually lay a girl out, after she deserved it, she won't do shit.

    Well, good luck for the future, i really can't relate to this other than be pissed, coz nothing like this ever happened to me. No one ever sexually harrassed me, exept i think once a guy tried to lowkey touch by dick, but i couldnt really tell if it was intentional or accidental. I just put my hand infront of my crotch and it stopped.
    Well, that wasn't harrassment. You seem like a fairly unlucky fella.

    I guess you are just a very good looking man, who also happens to be loyal and not promiscuous. Not what the women want

  • Yes we get 'harassed' by women. But we don't care cause we are men and we aren't stupid spoilt pathetic little shits

  • So much YES bro.
    Thank you for flipping the sexist female victimhood post from earlier.
    It's annoying that women constantly need to affirm that they are some sort of poor fragile victim of men when in actuality they are equally if not more of an issue when you actually take male victimhood into consideration (which generally never happens)

  • Noone should be harassed. Keyword "should"

  • Wait a second. Does that mean that I'm not a Human? D:

    • It means you win life. Have a cookie and relax.

    • Can't, I'm fat.

  • Its unfortunate