Sexual Relationships
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A Girl Was Raped. A Guy, Too. Does Anyone Care?

Rape is real, it happens. Women, men, anyone can be a victim. Have you been a victim? Have you sexually assaulted someone yourself?

Sorry for the novel. This is my first MyTake, I figured this was a good subject to write on after finding out someone was raped inside of my old school.

A girl was raped a week ago. A girl was raped 6 days ago. 3 days ago. Yesterday. Does anyone care?

A guy was raped a week ago. 6 days ago. 3 days ago. Yesterday. Does anyone care?

A Girl Was Raped. A Guy, Too. Does Anyone Care?

Setting the scene

The specific scenario in my mind, at the moment. It includes a school. The school I graduated from only a year ago. And a stairwell. The one in the back of the school, it's more narrow than the others, less frequented use. This scenario involves a girl and a guy, they're both 14. Both high school freshman. We don't know why. Maybe she flirted with him in class earlier, and that's why she was his target. Maybe he was high on drugs. Quite possibly both.

The last bell rings for classes. School lets out. Perhaps she stays later to talk to a teacher, maybe study some. The guy hangs out on the stair case, waiting. Maybe he was waiting for her. Perhaps he just didn't want to go home because he's beat by his mother or father when he walks in the door, because he went to school rather than run the family drug business. Either way he feels out of control. He might've tried touching someone who didn't want to be touched the week before. The month before. Liked the way the power felt when he was the assaulter, instead of the assaulted. The control felt so good, having control over something in his life, even if it was this one very wrong thing. This time, he decided, he would go all the way. He would rape the next female he sees, just because he can.

What I know

Some of the above is simply speculation. The only details I know for sure about the rape at my school was that it was after hours, in the far stairwell, and two 14 year old freshman. One guy, one girl. The girl fought him off for 25 minutes before being overpowered. It was all caught on cameras, several out of the 50+. There was no one monitoring them, like they should've been. And that when I found out today, I tried asking the people I knew at the school who still went there. When I asked who it was, one guy said, "Oh just some freshman." Another said, "It's Lincoln, what'd you expect". They don't care.

The guy is facing a life sentence in prison. There's no rehab for him, no mention of therapy in prison, no form of support. He's 14 years old. My younger brother is 15 years old.

I have been molested, nearly raped and killed by someone I know. I wanted nothing more than for him to be locked up for the rest of his life or for him to die. I'm still working on forgiving him, forgiving myself so I can move on. I am by no means rationalizing his actions, but he's 14. Life in prison? Will he ever get the chance to live, or to repent? He's 14 years old.

She's 14. Scarred for the rest of her life, traumatized. She will never forget that, ever in her life. It will probably be stuck on rerun in her mind for weeks, months, years. Trust me I know, because I've been there. Imagine your parents watching you be raped. Or being a parent and watching your child being raped. After it happened. On a computer monitor. Or do her parents even care? Is she even switching schools? Does anyone care?

A Girl Was Raped. A Guy, Too. Does Anyone Care?

The system

The system is flawed. They are teens yes, barely teens. The girl needs a strong support system, not much is mentioned of her in the articles or in what I can find. The guy needs help, not a life sentence. He had 2 charges and a felony before this, and he's 14 years old. What kind of broken home is he growing up in? What drugs is he using? You can be sure there is more to it than a horny 14 year old. I agree wholeheartedly, he needs several years away. I'm sure some prison time would do him good. Rehab, therapy, counseling. He should be locked away for a long time, but they are making it forever.

What age were you when you first fell in love? When you made your first mistake? Do you think the guy should have a life sentence, or should he do some time, along with rehab, parole, therapies, counseling, and other things in order to rehabilitate and ensure he is safe among society?

Does anyone care? Or are we a cold and callous society?

This happened in a school. To young kids, freshman. What were you worried about when you were a freshman, when you were 14? Because even 5 years ago, I was terrified. On freshman Fridays, the first Friday of the year, we got the shit beat out of us if we looked like freshman. Dumped in garbage cans. I've seen it happen, year after year while I went to school there. There were shooting threats. Riots. Beatdowns. Drug trades. Had police search us in the middle of classes.This is the first rape in the school. Last month someone had 7 bones broken after being attacked by a brick by someone who graduated from there, on her way to school. She was beat a block from where I live. I can't even tell you how many students have died since I started there.

A girl was raped a week ago. A guy was raped a week ago. Yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that. Does anyone care about them? I mentioned one case. There are hundreds, thousands. There is a rape every 6.5 minutes in America, the free country. These victims are living in shackles of fear. Doesn't sound so great and free, does it?

A Girl Was Raped. A Guy, Too. Does Anyone Care?

A Girl Was Raped. A Guy, Too. Does Anyone Care?

A Girl Was Raped. A Guy, Too. Does Anyone Care?


5 6

Most Helpful Guy

  • Alright, the take was a little all over the place so lets do this step by step.
    "He might've tried touching someone who didn't want to be touched the week before. The month before. Liked the way the power felt when he was the assaulter, instead of the assaulted. The control felt so good, having control over something in his life, even if it was this one very wrong thing. This time, he decided, he would go all the way. He would rape the next female he sees, just because he can." That sounds incredibly dramatic for something that is often so simple, the guy was 14 horny and saw a pretty girl he wanted to have sex with and instead of self control he just jumped on her instinctively after no longer being able to resist the temptation. Obviously something is wrong with him for that, perhaps he did like dominating sexually but in general this is not a dramatic Ha! I am going to rape you! kind of situation but a pure failure to control his lust so lets threat it as such.

    "Or do her parents even care? Is she even switching schools? Does anyone care?"
    - Yes
    - Depends on the situation, switching schools does not have to be required that all depends on how the class reacts if the school could have realistically prevented the rape in the first place and what the consequences are for the attacker.

    "The girl needs a strong support system, not much is mentioned of her in the articles or in what I can find. The guy needs help, not a life sentence."
    I agree, what is most important in such a scenario is that the victim is getting professional help to overcome the trauma so they don't have to life on with this. In a just system this help is paid for by the conflicted criminal. The punishment aspect is a very difficult one because what is just? I don't think lifetime for rape is a just punishment not if there are no other options. You could argue that sterilization might be a better option for rapists since that way he has a lifetime punishment, no ability to rape, no more sexual desire, etc. (To be continued)

    • Then there is the fact it is a child, which to me is irrelevant as harsh as that may sound. The only thing that counts to me is mental development, could this person realistically have stopped himself yet did he have the intention to continue? Or did they loose self control? If its the first the life time punishment (sterilization) is justified in my opinion if not forced counseling to overcome this issue would be a better option along with having his freedom restricted until the counseling is complete and the risk is guaranteed to be eliminated.

    • "Does anyone care about them? I mentioned one case. There are hundreds, thousands. There is a rape every 6.5 minutes in America, the free country. These victims are living in shackles of fear. Doesn't sound so great and free, does it?" - People close to them will care and likely offer warmth and support - People that have observed it will care or where in the same town will care and often seek justice. - People that are not related to this incident in any way won't care on a personal form until they become related to it when they for example meet the victim. They do care about a proper justice system so this can be dealt with and punished and the availability of good care for the victim. But its not going to be healthy for you to deeply care about every case as thats to much to bare, you can't expect that from them. So different kinds of care, for different kinds of affinity's.

    • Also something did struck me, which is a common thing with these kinds of statistics that are presented by the left or the media. If every 6,5 minutes someone is raped in america isn't that kind of a good statistic? I mean your never going to get that to rape never happening and compared to my country america is massive as my country is not even as large as some of your states. For comparison sake : - There is a baby born in your country ever 8 seconds. - Someone dies every 11 seconds. And there are 326420665 people in your country which means that if you count the actions done in one second that would be at minimum 326420665 and thats not even considering some people can multi task. That is a LOT of actions that can happen! But its not every few seconds, it takes 6,5 minutes. So thats 326420665 times 60 to make it a minute, then times 6,5 to make it 6,5 minutes which means out of 127304059350 actions only 1 was rape. So its not as dark as it seems.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course a lot of people care about rape victims. I feel like this is something that's long overdue but is finally starting to get more of the necessary attention thanks to the Weinstein case in the media.

    I agree with all of your points regarding how the course of actions typically given to convicted rapists (ie. prison) is helping nobody, and is pretty much just a waste of money. However, the route that would actually have a chance of fixing things runs much deeper, and is somewhat related to why males getting raped gets much less attention, if any at all. We would need to completely rewire every single society's views on male/female sexuality. To say that yes, men (and women) like sex, though men liking or desiring it more often than woman on a biological basis has nothing to do with consent.

    I saw a few posts on GaG just over the past few days made by males who commented on a post about a guy who'd gotten assaulted. One said that if they'd gotten assaulted, they'd have loved it and that the OP who was seeking help after he was sexually assaulted was a 'pussy' for complaining about the female attention that his dick had received. Completely disregarding that the whole principle of consent being necessary applies to both genders.

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What Girls & Guys Said

24 71

  • How do you teach 'men' not to rape exactly though? Everyone knows it's against the law, yet people still do it. I think the people who still do it simply don't care. You can't teach that out of someone. It's the same as any crime.

    So once we admit that there always will be filthy people out there who we can't change, we've got to focus on what we can change - ourselves. I. e protecting ourselves from rapists, murders, thieves etc.

  • I care. Would you like to become more active in helping rape and abuse victims? Helping reduce the problem in society.

    Let me know.

    I'll help you find some activism to get involved in.

    No one should be raped, abused or harassed - not anyone, not for any reason. Male, female, or otherwise, it's a tragedy, and yes, I DO care.

  • Wow, this was a really powerful post. You brought up a lot of really good points, and your wording made it even more thought provoking.
    Sadly, a lot of people don't care. They say that they do, and they get enraged when they hear that someone was raped, but they don't really care about the victim, or even the rapist. They want the rapist to be locked up for life, but most people don't think about the who the victim actually is, or how he/she will live the rest of their life. It seems that the only real care is about the act in itself, and the main emotion felt is hatred for the rapist, which is understandable.

    • I know they don't care. Some people should be locked up for life - my brother is unstable and a danger to society. We've attempted rehab. Exhausted every attempt. He still attempted to murder my family and rape me (thank God he failed), after getting out of rehab. I know what unhinged looks like, and it's not these 14 YOs. I can't even find the name of the victim, no one who still goes to my school cares. You are so accurate that the only emotion is for the act itself, no one cares about the victim. I feel out of place because I do.

    • can either of you explain i dont fully understand if your enraged by it then that means you do care?

    • What do you mean? I'm referring to people who aren't enraged by it. People who don't care.

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  • I care 110%! People are sooo fucked up the reason they do this shit... They're dumb...#STOP THE RAPE

  • Such a sad testament to our society, isn't it?

  • No one cares lmao the police told me I'd have to get him to confess he did it, for anything to happen._. Like anyone will confess that...

    • Exactly. It's horrible

    • I don't even try to think or even tell anyone about it. It's pointless. People think its all made up and lies.

  • We also teach in screws that sexual wants are "rights. " Some take that to mean entitlement.

    • *Screwls. Autocorrect is a fiend. Being stalked, smeared, and harassed in nonsexual ways, and made to sound like a monster by the actual monster... that happened to me. At least twice. It's almost worse than rape. If you are a victim of rape, someone might feel sympathy for you. If you are a victim of what was done to me, everyone has been told to assume that you are the bad guy. It's like being in a paranoid thriller film.

  • The victim will suffer a lufe sentance due to the rape, her age didn't protect her from him, nor should his age afford him the protection from his being held Accountable for his actions.

  • Holy sheet. I would've told my parents about the school's history and made them take me to a different school. That's crazy compared to schools I grew up in. Your school never got police involved with these rapes and murders? The principal and the other staff need to be fired immediately.
    Second, I don't think you can actually teach someone not to rape. The most you can do is make them understand that it's wrong and why they should never do it. But that still won't stop them from trying. The solution is to teach people how to defend themselves to avoid rape. I know martial arts. One of the best things I ever learned. Life in prison for a 14 year old for one rape sounds pretty extreme. Why is he being charged as an adult. It's usually the parents who take the blame of underage/minor suspects. Some form of rehab and counseling is definitely necessary, but not life in prison.
    I don't understand why male suspects always get harsher sentences and always seen as the 'Evil' gender. Why won't courts, judges, society believe that men get raped assaulted, harassed too? Both genders should be treated equally for the same crime.
    #mentoo

    • The situation with my school was the first rape. It was last week. I tell people where I went to school, and they think I'm lying. We've had riots, there were fights (plural) everyday, been put on lock down because of bank robberies nearby, etc. It's a rough area, and the only school that'll take some of the kids. Theyve tried shutting it down. Martial arts would be a great idea, I personally carry a knife or mace, but MA would be ideal if I knew it. It was one rape and 2 previous sexual assault charges. so I get it sorted of but still. It's extreme. I don't think the parents should take all of the blame, but they're definitely partially responsible. Men do get harsher sentences, it's unfair.

  • It's not about care, it's about what can be really done about it, except for punishing the rapist or protecting the girl in real time, there is not much that can be done. The feminist slogan about teaching men not to rape is bullshit, rape is not legal in the western society, so claiming that the society supports rape is bullshit. The media even tend to show an rape as if it's worse then killing, "rape is a special kind of evil" trope is an common theme in the western media. Ironically, I think that you have too much excuses for an 14 years old rapists, if a guy is old enough to rape and/or kill, he is old enough to get punished for that.

    tvtropes.org/.../RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil

    i.ytimg.com/vi/1T0GcHM0s4o/maxresdefault.jpg

    • Dustin is 9 years old. His step father put a bag over his head and beat him bloody. Then, the man raped him. Dustin could barely breath, he Just cried and couldn't walk flor weeks. What should happen to this man?

    • Something bad should happen to him, but I see no point in going into details here.

    • I do not have excuses for the boy, far from it. He should be punished, but not life in prison.

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  • Girls do guys don't
    I was assaulted by my professor years ago and one day my professor told my dad" i love ur daughter and stuff " my dad thought it was a compliment bc i did good or smthg and what pissed me the most is that he said straight to my dads face he just dared and said I love ur daughter and we both know we he meant my dad didn't know don't ask me why I didn't report him
    Anyway it got me so pissed I told this guy i was talking to everything I just wanted someone to talk to and then he was like its nothing don't talk about it girls get assaulted a lot so what
    I felt stupid for telling him and then he acted like it meant nothing I felt worthless that day and I felt weak for feeling disgusted by him and I just couldn't talk to the guy ever again guys give no fuuuuucks at all maybe only those who get assaulted have some empathy

    • this one cares and i hope others do too to me rape is as bad as murder i think its heinous and disgusting and i care about every ounce of pain someone receives from being raped and i care about the individual!

    • @troychapman i really did appreciate it thank u

    • Guys just act like its all normal but I'm sure not all thank u

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  • Rape is rape and SHOULD be noticed weather it be a male raping a woman, a woman raping a man, a man raping a man or a woman raping a woman - you catch my drift. But some people seem to think its impossible for a woman to rape a man when infact, its not!

    • i see what you did there

    • @troychapman I don't even see what I did there

  • I'm arriving a little late to this party, but I'd love to share my thoughts.
    When I was 12, I was sexually assaulted by a group of boys older then me. The district only found out because someone had seen, and reported it. I went to the same middle school as them, and word of it spread. I was labeled as a "snitch", and the entire school was split. Some said I was right to tell, others said, since the boys were the All-Star, Varsity athletes, that by snitching I had ruined our chances at games, since they were, among other things, suspended from the sports for the season.
    I do not really 'identify' as a victim. I also didn't count it as sexual assault, until I was looking at my record the other day, and saw "Sexual Assault- Victim" alone on my record, in bold letters, along with other details.
    It happened repeatedly to me, sexual harassment and assault, because in our society, its normal. 'Rape' is normal, and its not seen as awful as it truly is unless you know the person assaulted, or are one yourself. There is something inexplicably horrible about being touched against your will, something I can't really begin to describe. Maybe its the feeling of being TRULY objectified, or of having the one thing you were raised to guard, the one thing that was yours, your innocence, your virginity, your dignity, taken away. There IS a difference between women and men, and there will always be. Not in intelligence, not in whose better, but that the majority of men are naturally, innately stronger then the majority of women. That DOES give them a position of power over women-- no matter how many times people preach it doesn't. Most men will always have the ability to restrain women, to tower over them, unless the women is trained in self defense, or the man is extremely weak.
    Why our society tolerates this, I'm not sure. Perhaps we've grown to be too callous, perhaps its sexism, though I doubt it. Maybe its because humans are born with a natural tendency to ignore the things that go on around us-- unless we are the victim of them, and when we are, we hang onto it no matter what.
    I hope this made sense, sorry for rambling.

  • I Care. And Not Saying This Like I Dont Give A Fuck But I Then Think And Realise Even If I Do Care It ain't Gonna Do Shit.

  • No I don't care. Bad things happen to people everyday and I don't have a save the world complex.
    Just focus on me and mine and do what is needed to live in this world.

  • The boy's parents should be questioned as well.

    • I wholeheartedly agree. But the issue here is that 95% of all parents should be questioned. So he's just another case that slips through the cracks, just another case that the system fails. Because no one cares,

  • I don’t associate with rapists or rape victims in my life. Most all the people I know and call friends are sensible girls and non douchebag guys.

    I certainly don’t condone it, and id happily sit on a jury and convinct someone for it... but the whole issue isn’t exactly something I’m going to lose sleep over.

  • First obviously society teaches people to be good people in general. Thats why we have religion and laws to promote good moral values and ethics
    However. The frontline defense is always on the victim. You might ask why? --> because us as the good guys have no idea when and who/how the person will attack. We can't watch every corner 24 hours a day. Not possible. So the focus goes in the potential victims to safeguard

    As for caring and how your school sounds --> that is the harsh reality of this world. You think that is bad. What about people living in not so privileged worlds that have to walk 2 hours on foot to get to school with a change of being bombed on their way there. And then if so being bombed in the hospital as well

    Of course people care but that is how the world works. If you can change schools you should and that is up to you to do. Take precautions. Don't walk alone in the school or in quiet places. Carry pepper spray or a pen for defense

    You have to take such actions cause no one else will do it for you

  • of course i care i hate people like this anyone who rapes someone can go die for all i care fucking animals. my sympathies go out to anyone who is raped whether its a man raping a woman a woman raping a man a man raping a man a woman raping a man or either gender raping a child any acts of sexual abuse are disgusting and i will automatically hate you

    • a woman raping a woman*

  • Why do you ask if anyone cares? Obviously all sane people care. Every person I've ever known cares. It's a terrible thing. What makes you think people don't care?

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