Sexual Relationships 
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"I Am Asexual" My Road To Becoming Asexual by Miss Monday
From when I can first remember, I was different. I had my first crush at 5, (on a man) and by the time I was 7, I was in a “relationship” with my first grade boyfriend.
My parents put me in homeschooling by the time I was 9. I went to dance classes, but that was my only association.
I was around only girls in my class. Seeing them in booty shorts and skin tight low back leotards, I soon found out I loved the look of a girl’s body more than a guy. I still liked the way a guy looked, at least his face, but that was it. I liked a girls body, but a guys face -
When I was 12, I had my first real hardcore crush...on a couple. They were 11 years older than me, so neither of them thought a thing. I met them at my Bible classes, and it’s pretty much unthinkable to have a girl liking another girl in the class. I knew people would dislike me in the class if they knew who I really was. I didn’t even tell my parents how I really felt.
The following year things became ‘worse’. I started to “slip out” and say things to girls like, “You got such beautiful hair.” And I noticed I’d say it like a guy. I felt like I should have been a guy at that time. I dresses like a guy all the way, and flirted like one too. I noticed the girls liked it. Girls flirting with me all the time. I really like it.
There came a time that I thought I was gay. Girls became gorgeous to me and guys became ‘gross’. Many more girls paid attention to me than guys, I may have turned them off with my masculine personality.
One day at a late night party, (I was about 14,) my girlfriend wanted to “do the do” with me. We both got too scared to really do it, (our clothes never came off) but we rolled around on the dance floor, and I was loving it. That’s when I realized I’d never wanted to have sex with a guy ever. Nothing could get better than this. The body contact of a girl.
By the time I was 16, I had my first relationship with a guy. We did sexting and I hated it. I found guys attractive, but just to look at.
I got back together with my girlfriend. She flashed for me. I didn’t hate it, but it didn’t turn me on like it once would have.
That’s when I realized I was asexual.
I never had the desire to have sex with any gender.
The only thing I wanted was possibly close contact, but that was it.
Maybe the only thing I wanted was to be loved.
I don’t think I’ll ever want a boyfriend, it may because I never knew how to handle them growing up since I was never around them.
I’d consider a girlfriend, but I don’t think I can give her what she wants.
Is there nights I’m lonely?
Yes.
Did my parents understand?
No.
But am I still loved?
Yes. I am.
My parents are not for it, but they support me for anything.
My first girlfriend and I are still good friends.
And I still get to snuggle with pretty girls sometimes.
I may not lead the normal life, but this is who I am, I am asexual, I am myself, and I am loved for being myself. It may be a small group of people who love me for who I am, but when we’re together, we are a army.
If there’s any people out there who are confused with who you are, I hope my story here can help you. Not to help you find who you are, but to know you are not alone.
- Miss Monday
#Asexual #Love #BeYourself
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