Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
After nearly 21 years of marriage, I thought I would offer the aspects that made it so successful and last so long. I thought I would also throw in the elements that led to its eventual failure to offer balance.
My ‘A-Z’ of relationship success and failure is as follows;
Acceptance;
You need to fully accept yourself before another can accept you. In a manner that allows for real love to flourish.
If there is any holding back it will be found out which leads to fractures in a union that leads to splits.
There is no negotiation in this. You have to be all in
Belonging;
When you feel love, a stand out is the sense of belonging. You just feel so complimented and completed by finding the one that will always have your back.
The polar opposite is if you start to feel cast adrift. Even to the point of feeling lonely within your relationship/marriage. This is the worst feeling of all.
This segues into the next point.
Connection;
This is the fulcrum of any relationship. It starts with ‘hello’, and grows from there. It is a living entity that is such an irresistible force, and so all-encompassing. The aura is so strong that it overwhelms the individual in so many exhilarating ways. The culmination is when the connection is so intense that you are two but feel as one.
The irony is in its demeanour as a living entity. One that will wither and die if you take it for granted, or do not tend to its ever-present needs by nurturing it.
What can be sincere magic is gone in a blink as a result
Do;
The only thing that matters is actions. You can talk a good game but if you cannot follow through the relationship will end.
Always show how much your partner means through your actions. As well as how much the union you both share means.
When you lose the dedication that goes hand in hand with this and try to replace it with words or talking a good game. You will lose credibility with your partner leading to questions about how much they mean to you as well as your relationship.
Empathy;
You always need to take in how it is to walk a mile in your partner's shoes. This allows you to take in how they are feeling about a lot of issues. Whether it be in their social, work or home scene.
This solidifies their meaning to you by making them felt listened too, really heard and supported to the hilt.
One of the best feelings in a relationship/marriage is when you really know that someone has your back
Fucking;
Pure and simple you need to mix up your sex life to keep it vibrant and kick ass. Many think it always has to be lovey-dovey, passionate, tender, intimate and in the guise of ‘making love’. This aspect is crucial, but sometimes there is a mood that demands dirty sex. The type that is so impulsive and almost carnal.
Genial;
This is all about the smile and what it entails. The positivity heightens the feelings in the good times as well as guidance through the tough times.
Throughout, your partner knows they are welcome.
Hype;
Avoid it.
Never big note or talk a good game for it gets you nowhere. If you are a 'playa', stay at home and watch porn. The only thing that matters is keeping it real.
Intuition;
So much relies on communication. Not only listening but really hearing what is said, along with what might be left unsaid. The latter relies so much on being intuitive with your partner by really sensing how they are truly feeling. When you do it represents such meaning on so many levels.
Juxtapose;
You are side by side but in a contrasting manner. This always compliments and completes rather than clashing. It rotates on an axis depending on the situation. The one who might be the tower of strength might occasionally need to express weakness. In this instance, the other becomes the aspect of strength in support.
Kinky;
Once more relating to the sex life. The key here is to always be open to this side of sexuality. When you are it keeps this crucial aspect of the union vibrant. As well as always evolving.
LLL;
I am a huge fan of cricket and one of my heroes growing up was the great West Indian, Desmond Haynes.
He always used to wear a gold necklace;
‘Live, Love, Laugh’
This is my ethos in relationships.
Meaning;
You always have to attach such meaning to your partner and what you share. And to be frank, this should be a given for it is hard to find love. It is so rare and precious and needs to be treated with due respect.
You give your all for it, no questions asked.
No
There are two sides to this;
1, The negative connotation found in everything being cut down which never allows anyone to feel that their individual desires are respected and supported.
2, The other aspects are the times when there are real struggles. As seen when the world seems to be caving in on what you share. You have to be defiant by refusing to relent, or cave in. Instead, you find a way through by fighting tooth and nail and resembling a clenched fist in your togetherness.
The ultimate NO!
Offence;
This is a pointer to honesty in respect to never taking offence to your partner being honest in regards to you, or the relationship. The lifeblood of any chance of ‘happily ever after’ is open and honest communication. Sometimes this entails being told things you do not want to hear, or that might hurt you.
You always need to view this in a constructive manner and work on the issues raised.
The other side is to never fear to express similar.
If there is an absence of either, the chances of things lasting are remote.
Pussy;
Allow me some ‘click-bait’
The point here is pets. They add so much to what you share by the companionship they offer. The feeling of calm has such meaning. When kids come along, pets are truly wizard.
Quiver;
Intensity, making your partner tremble and shake by the effect you have on them. It gets back to meaning and making it feel so profound that you move them in an extraordinary fashion.
In mind, heart, being, spirit, and so delicious, when in body
Revolve
The power of the Universe. You get back what you give out.
What you share is the Sun that lights up your lives and compels you to rotate around it.
The two are inextricably linked.
Scooby-Doo;
Those‘those meddling kids’!!!!!
When kids come along everything that you knew is no longer known. You are faced with one of life’s greatest challenges of being a parent. As well as supporting your partner in any struggles they might have.
One aspect is the effect on your sex life. It makes it tougher to be open sexually when kids come along. Not just for how demanding they are but also how tired they make you. Particularly for a woman who is so drained by all it entails.
You need to adapt and evolve in so many ways. When you do, it takes what you share to a whole greater level.
Today;
Everything is about the now. There is never a thought of ‘tomorrow’ for it always turns into today. The reality is never left anything unspoken. Never pass up an opportunity to make your partner feel special. Never avoid anything whether it is good, bad, or fucking ugly.
One needs to respect that life is fleeting and underpinned by its unpredictability.
Up;
You might see your relationship at a certain level but always aim to take it higher. Always look ‘up’, and never see a ceiling on where you can take it.
The elements of openness and adventure are key. The two both linked in sucking the marrow out of new experiences to embrace more diverse feelings.
Velvet;
Lingerie is fun.
The reference has a greater meaning than the obvious eye candy. One always needs to appreciate when your partner goes out of their way to please you.
Work;
You need to work to provide. The key in this is to have the priority of your union at the forefront of everything you do. Never put the pursuit of money or power above your relationship
X;
X marks the spot?
The joyous uncertainty that always needs to be embraced, and explored in full in everything you share, and desire to share.
YinYang;
Two polar opposites but in perfect synergy
Never pigeonholed roles, or above the other, only ever equal parts.
ZEN;
Never be governed by rules or the stigma of ‘normal’. Instead, be on your own watch as a couple and embrace an intuitive theme throughout what you share.
Most Helpful Guy