Even in the most passionate relationships, it’s only natural for the physical side of things to run out of steam at some point. In rare circumstances, this can be an indication of deeper-rooted problems. But for most, the initial flurry of excitement and enthusiastic bedroom athletics are symptoms of the first flushes of new romance. Eventually, contact becomes less spontaneous, and the actual sex more infrequent, if at all.
There can be any number of reasons for this flagging interest in what is, after all, such an obvious and highly enjoyable expression of love for one another. Tiredness. Being in a mood over a family situation. Stress at the office. The good news is that your love life can be invigorated relatively easily. Here are four ways how.
Re-ignite that chemistry
This might not sound very sexy but any physical relationship relies on the production of a chemical called dopamine. When this is released by the brain it stimulates the human body in many different ways, but some of the sensations it provokes, especially sexual gratification, have been likened to the experience of ingesting addictive drugs such as cocaine.
However, dopamine doesn’t always have to be seen in the context of sex. Remember how you felt on your first date together, when those butterflies were swarming around your insides and there was a spark of electricity simply holding hands in the dark in the cinema? Those involuntary sensations were down to the release of dopamine. So a key to injecting a much-needed adrenaline rush is to recreate those initial get-togethers.
Think outside the box when it comes to arranging nights out – especially if these encounters have steadily grown further and further apart on your calendar. Visit a brand new restaurant. Sample a national dish you’ve never tried before. How about taking up an exciting pastime, such as Latin American street dance classes? As you sashay around that floor, getting sweaty while you gyrate to the salsa or mambo music, you’ll soon have that dopamine sluicing through you again.
Couples in the early stages of romance can sometimes be spotted a mile off. They’re the ones in the café who only have eyes for each other. They’ll constantly be whispering sweet nothings, stroking each other, and kissing. This type of intimate contact should never be abandoned once as you get more familiar with one another. So you shouldn’t feel you need an excuse to go in for a quick cuddle, a peck on the cheek, or a full embrace that leads to a lengthy kissing session.
This level of physicality can strengthen your bond, giving both of you a glow inside as you are reminded of those heady days. Depending on where you happen to be, it can also be a precursor to more intimate activity later on.
Get to know each other once more
The longer any relationship lasts, the greater the temptation to take one another for granted. Spontaneity goes out the window as one party’s advances are spurned, the excuses ranging from fatigue to sudden headaches. There might be occasions when you both get lost in your own respective worlds, one of you staring at the TV screen while the other is lost in a smart device, headphones jammed in.
It’s good to take time away from electronic distractions. Turn off that TV. Pop the phones into their chargers in a corner of the room and leave them there. Instead of relying on outside stimulation, indulge in what drew you together in the first place, chatting about your mutual interests. By all means, reminisce about the things you did together as you were getting to know one another initially, but also think of the context of the present, as well as discussing your plans and aspirations for the future.
Stoke the fires
Sex is certainly one activity that can lose its appeal the more comfortable you become with each other’s company. As with anything else in life, familiarity breeds contempt. Any activity that becomes repetitive is bound to lose its appeal. Again, this is easily remedied. Sexuality is such a broad subject that there’s absolutely no need for your physical relations to ever stray into the ‘stale zone.’ Exploring new ways to introduce degrees of pleasure into the bedroom is guaranteed to bring you closer together.
Whether you snuggle on the couch to watch a steamy film, surf into erotic websites or read out passages of an explicit novel to one another, there are many ways to ensure your levels of sexual excitement remain stimulated. There are so many things you can share to boost that chemistry, from dressing-up and role-playing to getting frisky in outside locations or even searching for a third party on the online dating site. The possibilities are endless, which is great news for your love life.