Do You Actually Know What a Real Slut Is?

Do you actually know what a real slut is?

"She already slept with three guys? What a slut" "She started having sex with her boyfriend after only one month! That´s so cheap..."

I´m a good listener, and this is what I hear a lot around me about different people. One of the people being talked about is my close friend. Did you ever judge someone like this? I bet. But here´s the thing with judging: You don´t know the whole story in the first place. in the second place, it´s just too common in our society to instantly judge what we don´t know or do, because what I AM doing is automatically right and applies to everyone, right? Wrong.

There are girls and guys being mature earlier than others. My friend had her first boyfriend with 14 and lost her virginity to him. Most people judge her for that, but why? Because you were still chillin´on musically while she felt ready and had the lust to do it? There was really no pressure, she knew what she was doing and loved him. So, is there any reason why she shouldn´t do it? Since then, she tried out stuff with other guys and had more boyfriends afterwards. So still, is that a bad thing? No, because it´s her, and only her choice.

Or some other friend of mine. he´s gay, slept with five guys since he´s been eleven and is still under age. Woah. That´s what I was thinking too. but Me, and no body else has the right to say that it´s wrong what he´s doing. He´s such a great and funny person, I really love him and I´m so happy we are friends.

I´ve slept with a guy who´s had several friends with benefits with some of my friends. He´s a butterfly, and I knew it. It was a one night stand. Some people might judge but, why should they? I feel comfortable with that, yes, with being "used" for my body, because I also used his body and it felt great.

Do You Actually Know What a Real Slut Is?

Some people save themselve until marriage, and that´s fine. Some people, the butterflies, sleep around with lots of people and have casual fun. That´s also fine. I don´t see virginity neither as an achievement in life, nor as some super special treasure to keep. Same with people. My close friend is not a slut of less value than some holy marry who saves her/himself until marriage. I value everyone equally, and I think everyone should. It´s a question of respect and tolerance, and whoever is accepting black people or muslims should be able to accept "sluts" and "Marrys".

It´s about being tolerant. I would definitely not apply all those things to my own life my friends did, but I don´t judge. Slut shaming someone for their lifestyle just because you are just tolerating people living like you is really one of the worst things in society, not only referred to sex, but in general.

Society is not really getting a point of what a slut is. I can tell you my definition of a "slut". For me, it´s a person who is emotionally unavailable and is not able to determine their sexual life or desires, which ends up in irresponsible choices. For me, a slut is more than sleeping with a lot of people having fun. It´s being selfish and so unempathetic, that you put your own sexual lust over the respect to your fellows, which ends up in cheating on your partner, helping someone to cheat, betraying your friend who likes a guy and having a thing with him behind her back, and generally don´t pay attention on the feelings and emotions of the sexual partners, but using them only to satisfy your own lust.

That is a slut for me. Someone unempathetic and selfish, only aiming for their very own satisfaction.

Not to change up with butterflies, people who are having fun, as long as it´s okay for themselves and the people they´re interacting with.

Do You Actually Know What a Real Slut Is?

I really want this wrong mindset towards butterlfies to be disappearing, because too much shit is thrown on people living their lifes. Please, just let people how they are. You don´t have to agree with them, but accept and tolerate them, and know the real differents between sluts and butterflies.

Thank you for your attention. Now fly off and have fun, or not.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have no clue what 'slut' means;

    The term was rendered obsolete before I was born with the sexual revolution. I only live in the now. The term exists in the past tense with people trying to maintain the remnants of the old. Where it was a male-dominated society and women imprisoned for this. In sexuality this hold was profound. As this term exemplifies with the scorn attached.

    Both women and men can be promiscuous, 21st century, after all. Not the dim dark 1950's

    As long as all are responsible, I have no care for their actions and never would label them.

    I am far from perfect myself meaning judging others would be the ultimate example of a person who lives in a glass house choosing to cast stones

    +20 ( my anticipated downvotes :p)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, a woman who is loose, is easy to get with and has no respect for herself. Seems like this society has plenty of them.

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What Guys Said 54

  • "she knew what she was doing and loved him."

    She was fucking 14. She might have known what sex was, but that does not mean that she knew what she was doing, aka making sure her partner doesn't have std's, making sure that you're not gonna get accidentally pregnant and what you're gonna do if that ends up actually happening. Age limits exist for a reason. And teenage love is completely different from real love, when you're 14 and you think you're in love with someone I can guarantee you that's 90% the hormones.

    And you say that being extremely liberal sexually isn't a bad thing cause it's her body and her choice. By that logic doing drugs isn't bad either cause it's her body and her choice right? If you really think that sex is nothing but harmless fun with no negative consequences then you have some serious growing up to do.

    And are you really comparing being a slut to having a certain skincolor? Being a slut is a choice, being born black is not, you're ridiculous.

    Either way you should realize that on a grand scale of things it doesn't matter what you think is the definition of slut, the definition of slut is how people use the word and people use the word slut to mean people who fuck around or are easy. You can call them butterflies all you want but they are sluts. It's hilarious that you claim to be all for being sexually open but you don't want to be judged for your actions to the point where you are literally trying to get people to call sluts "butterflies".

    The last sentence of your take really sums up how fucked up your point of view is. "'Now fly off and have fun, or not" so in other words "go be a slut and have fun, or if you have some moral integrity and are responsible don't have fun"

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    • I get what you´re trying to say. that changes nothing about my personal view on that topic. Some people are just mature earlier than others so, why shouldn´t they go for it?

      the last sentence was not meant like that. It more referred to the "fly off"... it´s actually not necessary to discuss that because it´s such a small thing.

      with the drug thing, i actually don´t think you can compare this. Drugs destroy your body and serious harms on your nerve system can follow. Sex actually is fun when you pay attention on protection.

      I want to spread my point of view, so people being mature earlier or just having a different lifestyle are not getting called gross and being shamed on. This is just unnecessary. I don´t even do it myself, I just want to protect the people doing it.

      You don´t have to agree with me, that´s okay. I may have some growing up to do, but that´s because I´m not adult already and I´m still learning and forming my own lifestyle every day.

    • Every teenage girl thinks they are more mature than other people their age. Yet that's actually very rarely true. The reason they shouldn't just "go for it" is because there are a ton of teenagers who get pregnant when they are not ready for it and it has a severe effect on not only their lives but also the child's.

      Drugs can be actually fun too and if you are responsible it's possible to use drugs without ruining your life. Of course sex is fun but that doesn't mean it's just harmless fun like I said. It's been proven that sexually promiscuous people tend to be more prone to depression and are generally unhappier than people who are not promiscuous, so your argument of it "it's fun" clearly doesn't apply long term.

      And like it or not but being is a slut is shameful. There's a reason most people don't want to date sluts or fuckboys or whatever.

  • "Some people, the butterflies, sleep around with lots of people and have casual fun. That´s also fine."

    No, it really isn't fine. Statistics prove you wrong big time.

    Promiscuous people have been linked again and again to...
    ... mental instability and higher rates of mental illness
    ... higher rates of STDs (It's a numbers game)
    ... be more likely to be a single parent (numbers game)
    ... have higher rates of abortion (numbers game)
    ... have less stable relationships and higher divorce rates
    ... have increased chances of having been in an abusive relationship
    ... be more likely to cheat
    ... be more likely to become addicted
    ... be more likely to come out of a broken household.


    Want some sources?

    cdn.freedomainradio.com/...iage_Partners_Study.pdf
    -> Page 19-25. Especially Page 24-25 is quite relevant.

    www.everydayhealth.com/.../...eaten-longevity.aspx

    medicalxpress.com/.../...partners-linked-drug.html

    news-releases.uiowa.edu/.../061411paik_study.html

    www.barbararisman.com/.../...earch_final_paper.pdf

    www.ideals.illinois.edu/.../Saroj_Hardit.pdf
    -> Promiscuity is linked to sexual aggression.
    -> Page 59. "The number of sexual partners was positively related to parental violence."
    -> Page 70. "As the number of sexual partners increased, so did the propensity to sexually aggression."

    http://www.bradley.edu/dotAsset/165862.pdf
    -> Page 4. "Perhaps the strongest personality correlate of risky sexual behaviour is impulsive sensation-seeking"
    -> Page 8. Promiscuous people are more likely to be impulsive, have low agreeableness, low conscientiousness, sensation-seeking and a higher level of sexual infidelity.
    -> Page 14. "People who describe themselves as more unfaithful tend to have personality traits linked to a lack of trust and empathy (i. e. low agreeableness)"

    www.sociopathicstyle.com/psychopathic-traits/
    -> Point 11. Promiscuity is a common symptom of psychopathy. Goes hand in hand with the other study mentioning impulsiveness as it shows it here on point 14.

    ink.library.smu.edu.sg/.../viewcontent.cgi
    -> Page 8. Higher amount of sexual partners is directly linked to higher degrees of psychopathy, narcissism, machiavellianism and an increase of any combination of those 3.

    genepi.qimr.edu.au/.../CV262Bailey_UQ_Copy.pdf
    -> Page 4, Table 1. (Note: Sociosexuality = Parameter for willingness to engage in sexual activity outside of comitted relationships)

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    • To put it into my own words: I think promiscuity is a symptom of mental instability and is a way of self-destructive behaviour, just like i. e. Obesity (not physical-health induced obesity) or cutting. It's a huge red flag objectively, biologically and evolutionary for anyone who wants a comitted and successful relationship.

      Thus there is no logical argument to me that promiscuity is in any way to be seen as positive

    • Great opinion brother, one of the most amazing comments I have ever seen.

    • @Hungry_Shark I second that! I wish more people our age would understand this.

  • Just like with the picture of SlutWalk ( and many porn stars) that you used, if a girl so proud of being an slut, then she should not try to deny. Yes it's justified to call an promiscuous woman an slut. I am not saying that sluts don't have the right to be sluts, but there is consequences for their choice. :)

    tvtropes.org/.../MadonnaWhoreComplex

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  • Women want to mate with the strongest male out there, whether it be by deceiving, manipulation, cheating, lying etc.

    When you have so many sexual partners, you will be judged because past defines future.
    If you apply for a job in a company or you hire a new employee what do you see? THEIR PAST.
    Because we know that past is best predictor of future behaviour.

    There shouldn't be any problem to anyone whoever people are sleeping with.
    But the problem comes after sleeping with 10,000 men now this slut wants to land a safe deal, a nice guy to marry.
    She will act like a virgin and sell BS like past is past or past doesn't matter.
    If you're looking for marriage or serious relationship past definitely absofckinglutely matters.

    If sluts want to have sex, hey by all means have it no problem.
    But don't try to manipulate and deceiving people by acting all virgin and marrying a nice virgin rich guy. That's manipulation and cheating.
    Be honest with your past.

    If you have to lie about your past then deep down inside you know you did something wrong.

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  • "I can tell you my definition of a "slut". For me, it´s a person who is emotionally unavailable and is not able to determine their sexual life or desires, which ends up in irresponsible choices. For me, a slut is more than sleeping with a lot of people having fun. It´s being selfish and so unempathetic, that you put your own sexual lust over the respect to your fellows, which ends up in cheating on your partner, helping someone to cheat, betraying your friend who likes a guy and having a thing with him behind her back, and generally don´t pay attention on the feelings and emotions of the sexual partners, but using them only to satisfy your own lust.

    That is a slut for me. Someone unempathetic and selfish, only aiming for their very own satisfaction."

    Well said.

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  • You cannot ride the cock-carousel for an extended period with no repercussions. Comes with the territory.
    And you may as well get paid - whores get more respect in western culture than sluts do. Just sayin'.

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    • I wish more people were like you. I'm honestly starting to lose faith in my generation.

    • I suppose you don't figure that cuts both ways, huh? Just for women? Men who sleep with lots of women are studly and cool, but a woman who has lots of sex is a whore or a slut to be reviled. Not seeing the hypocrisy there, mate? Not surprising, sadly. Most men my age or older grew up with parents freely using such terms (ass well as the N-word, 'coloreds' and lots of choice descriptives for gays). Bigotry sucks, man. It's 2018, not 1957 anymore.

    • @pixelator2000 - You're making a LOT of assumptions there - and you know what that means, right?

      If you want to marry a slut or a whore that's your business. Most upstanding guys won't. They get to pick from the rejects. Probly like you. LOL

  • slut
    slət/Submit
    nounderogatory
    noun: slut; plural noun: sluts
    1.
    a woman who has many casual sexual partners.
    synonyms: promiscuous woman, prostitute, whore; informalfloozy, tramp, hooker, hustler; datedtart, scarlet woman, loose woman, hussy, trollop; archaicharlot, strumpet, wanton
    "she dressed like a slut and didn't act much better"
    2.
    dated
    a woman with low standards of cleanliness.

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  • A slut , for me, isn´t the girl/woman that has had sex with lots of men, but the girl/woman who is very esy to get for tall/handsome/muscular and with six packs man, or man who are rich, but the hardest to get for average man. If a woman is easy for everyone, im fine, because i too can get an easy and great time with her, but if she is only easy to the top 20 % and would open her legs immediately for them and would be almost impossible for an average man, she is a slut, that is it.

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    • I like the distinction you make, and thats absolutely crucial. But I dont think that sort of woman (though aren't they all) should be called a slut, but a whore or similar.

      Dark-skinned people owned the word 'nigger', some homosexuals even owned the word 'fag' or similar, and sex-positive girls need to own the word 'slut'. Thats what they do in the book about it anyway, 'The Ethical Slut'.

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    • Yeah... you basically repeated what you said. Some women have standards and a type that you don’t fit. Don’t be salty.

    • @VaIiant You just can´t accept the truth that shallow standards = sluts while every man out there think it and it will never change. Have a good day.

  • The difference between being sex-positive and a slut all comes down to responsibility and living with the consequences, and that includes being judged. No amount of explaining or complaining things aren't fair is going to change people's minds. The only way for the world to change is to live as an example of integrity and standing up for your beliefs, which also includes allowing others to have their own until the day that they realize that they too can't change others through virtue signaling, but only through living as an example. When the chips fall, the consequences always speak for themselves.

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  • Sleeping around is bad, but every person can choose whether to do it or not. And only that person will be responsible for all the consequences following his/her choice including slutshaming (I don't support slutshaming though).

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  • slut
    slət/Submit
    nounderogatory
    1.
    a woman who has many casual sexual partners.
    synonyms: promiscuous woman, prostitute, whore; More
    2.
    dated
    a woman with low standards of cleanliness.

    Tis in the dictionary. Technically if you don't clean up after yourself you are a slut as well.

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    • I don't know if this is legitimately from the dictionary but if so then that shows you the double standard.

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    • @SanHoloz
      Sloven (plural slovens). A habitually dirty or untidy man or boy; the male equivalent of slattern, or slut.

    • Hahaha thank you, I haven't ever heard that one

  • If you want to have sex with as many people as you can fit into your daily schedule, have at it but, don't be surprised when that is all you are seen as, a f*ck. Somebody to be a cum dumpster and nothing more. Some guys don't mind getting the sloppy seconds that are left over after a promiscuous woman has finally reached her 30's and is ready to give a man her full attention but there aren't as many of those as you think.

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  • You can try to make as many excuses for women being sluts as you want, but that's not going to make anyone want to date them. A cheap lay, sure, but not even close to girlfriend or marriage material. Quite the opposite, in fact.

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  • I love my wench.

    And I strongly agree with this. Slut is a stupid word. Promiscuity shouldn't be looked down on. People like to do fun things. Why shame them for it?

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  • Yeah. It's a promiscuous woman. A woman who sleeps around a lot.

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  • Literally the only word I've ever heard from men about a man who sleeps around on that picture is Bro, and that's mostly in a college frat-boy sense

    EVERY OTHER WORD IS A WORD WOMEN PUT ON THE MAN, and is now complaining that THEY CALL THE MAN THOSE WORDS!! Women slutshame more than men do

    Holy fuck. What is it with feminists and trying to control what people have to say? Some people are judgmental. There will ALWAYS be judgmental people.

    YOU WILL BE CALLED A SLUT IF YOU SLEEP AROUND!!! THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT, SO STOP CARING AND GO RIDE A DICK

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  • A "Slut" is someone who enjoys sex for it's own sake, instead of only as an adjunct to a "relationship". Perfectly natural; laudable even. I'm a slut, and proud of it.

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  • In my brain, slut is a woman who sleeps with a lot of guys and outaide the relationship.

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  • there is a huge difference between sexual freedom and being a slut !
    although many refer to a slut as a "woman with men manners", I find that misleading !
    a slut is a woman which doesn't have respect for values and manners in general, they use their bodies to get what they want and enjoy manipulating men and get the pleasure from seeing them run after her and always be surrounded by them !
    it's not that they don't value their bodies, on the contrary most of the time they consider them selves above others and think of men as sex toys or emotional therapy hug bears or problem solving tools, they keep them around till the moment they need them...
    their weapon is their charming craziness, the bi-polar attitude, and of course their looks !
    a woman whom decides to have sex on first date, have a one night stand or even to have multiple sex partners keeping them informed and be honest about it is not a slut, she's simply sexually open and free, there is a huuuuge difference !

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  • You're over complicating things. Here's the definition. What's the difference between a whore and a slut? A whore will fuck anybody, a slut will fuck anybody but YOU !! End of story. :)

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What Girls Said 13

  • Couple days ago I talked this with my friend, and we were thinking just the same thing as you! It's your own business what you do with your own body not someone's else's. So sad people can/want to judge every little thing -.-''

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    • You can do whatever you want, but people are free to judge anybody. People are free to get face tattoos but get judged for that too.

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    • @Zoroa Anyone who sleeps around a lot is a degenerate.

    • @Halotestin Well that's your opinion.

  • Sure
    had a friend who loves to make friends with pros - prostitutes
    and pick up pointers, esp. on BJs
    as a closet "gold digger", overt flirt and wannabe pro, never daring to be one and found out
    The true sluts are pros and should not be a degrading term
    Slut - most often used on gals that might do many guys but never you hahaha

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  • I’d like to bring to light that the MyTake author is only 16. At 16, you should not be having “one night stands”. And yes, sex at 14 is far too young. At 14 you are either in middle school or your first few months of high school, practically a kid.
    I’d also like to remind people that sex under the age of 18 is illegal, and participants can be charged with statutory rape.

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  • Nothing wrong with being a butterfly and nothing wrong with being a virgin, it's all down to personal choice.

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  • It's not ethical to judge other people and put labels to them. It's also not ethical to have so many sexual partners, for both genders. Sure, it's a personal choice, but that doesn't mean it's ethical.

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  • I wanna know why most people here are assuming you’re a feminist. Weird.

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  • I always felt uncomfortable with the idea of multiple partners, but after losing my virginity I intentionally sought out one night stands to give me experience and help me feel more comfortable. I was with 3 guys within a week and after being scared of sex and my body for so long, it felt great to have conquered so many fears and finally feel comfortable with the idea of sex. The whole morality thing with sex seems completely retarded to me now. As long as it's consensual, it really doesn't matter what, who, or how many you do.

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  • Try being a member of the church sometime. At the college I went to as far as the guys were concerned they could f- around with whoever but gollygoshgoodness she better be a virgin if he was going to marry her. Which was funny because they wanted to cross as many lines as possible to "see if she was any good" before they even dated her. IF they dated her. I went on dates where I didn't even like, hold hands with guys, and somehow someway I'm perceived as a lowkey slut just for "being with" different guys.
    This world is not fair.
    Also I tend to call men like this mutts. Man-sluts.

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  • Insightful.

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  • I know what a slut is.

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  • "Some people, the butterflies, sleep around with lots of people and have casual fun. That´s also fine."

    You mean, sluts and fuckboys.
    The words are already well defined, no need to try and brush out the truth for your own convenience.
    The topic was also already juiced dry on here many, many times.
    Just do what you want but take responsibility for it.

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  • I think a slut is a person. Could be guy or girl. Who just geniunely refuses to settle down as they have had no emotional attachments to the people they have enagaged in a sexual relationship with. They will try anyone and everyone. I believe a sluts will move on very quickly from past relationships.

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