Why Pornography Affects Women in Relationships More than Men

Please understand that this is my objective opinion based on observations, facts, and educated conclusions. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. I'm stating mine. Thank you.

So if you've noticed there's a similar take on here that address problems with porn being used in relationships. I wanted to continue the conversation as I feel like not enough women (and men) understand why they don't like that their partner uses porn despite being in a relationship with them. More so to the point I want to talk about the root of the problem. What's the real reason you don't want your partner watching porn? What conclusions or educated guesses can we make from it? I'll answer those. I want to preface this by saying that this is referring mostly to heterosexual relationships as it is coming from my perspective. This take within itself will explain why it is more prominent in heterosexual relationships. Also, I want to note that I may make this a series. I've decided to not number this one just in case I decide not to make a series out of it. In any case, here we go:

Why pornography effects women in relationships more than men

I think it's pretty damn clear who watches porn more between women and men. Why else would the porn industry try to cater to men more? Because that's who's going to spend the most money on porn. Who's the stars of the shows? Women. Who gets the awards, the accolades, the most money in the porn industry? Women. That said for you statistics people here's something from the Cosmopolitan (a feminine focused website):

Why Pornography Affects Women in Relationships More than Men

So it's clear that men watch it more than women. It also shows that men watch it way more if they are in a relationship than if they aren't. Why is that? Well as I've said constantly on this site men have been considered hunters since the beginning of time. Not just hunters of game (live animals) but hunters of women. It's why I consider us the true romantics but that's for another time. We hunt. Women gather. It's been like that since man's conception and you're not going to change that despite how hard feminism tries. One of my favorite quotes is from

He wants to hunt. You can't just suppress 65 million years of gut instinct. -Dr. Grant from Jurassic Park

Now women should be able to relate to this as they also have an instinct... that's different but similar in this regard. Often times if you keep something away from a woman she'll want it more for the sake of value. The more it alludes her the more she desires it. In other words it's the phrase "She wants what she can't have." When men watch porn it is kind of similar. The camera angles, the make up, the scenes, the hot body, the appearance of having a good time. Men want that too. This is why married men more so than single watch porn more.

It doesn't matter how much both men and women love their spouse or GF/BF there's no getting rid of sexual attraction. It's there regardless and it should be. If it wasn't there would you even be attracted to your partner in the first place? What happens if you could get rid of this and y'all break up? I guess you'd live your life without finding another partner? Sexual attraction is necessary and men in particular genetically have a higher libido than women.

As pro-creators we want as many women as possible from a subconscious level. Consciously there are plenty of men who do not cheat. Plenty of men who try to suppress it. See we at the end of the day are human and can think logically. Sure we desire sex probably more than most women (there are exceptions) but we also from a conscious and logical perspective say "Well I'm in a relationship. I won't try to bang her, but I will get an eyeful." Sorry, but I fail to see the harm in that.

Why Pornography Affects Women in Relationships More than Men

My girlfriend watches hentai. She told me she keeps up to 50 pictures of hentai on her phone. Fifty! Does this bother me? Not even a little bit. I think it's funny. I pick at her about it all the time. Should it bother me? Lol.This leads me to ask this:

Why Pornography Affects Women in Relationships More than Men

Guys, doesn't it seem like women want to keep their partner from desiring anything but them? Doesn't it seem like women get jealous more so than men when it comes to dating and sexual attraction?

Why?

Because at the end of the day they too know men hunt for women. They know this. They know most of the time it is our decision to pursue something with another person. Not there's. Not only does this work from a natural standpoint but also given the feminine imperative doesn't want women to put in the effort. They realize (though good luck getting them to admit) that women don't have the social tools to do it, so it's fair to say that even from a society standpoint despite exceptions this is the norm.

Now let's get back to how this relates to porn. You see even though her partner isn't fucking that girl on the screen it still creates dread... aka jealousy. That big, green eyed, monster. This is a very important tool in a player's toolbag, but that's for another take. Point is women regardless of what phase they are in (transfer or validation) they both want to hang onto their partner (barring hypergamy). They want to be seen as valuable to their partner especially if they feel their partner is of a higher value, which is often times more true than not true. Why? Because women always either level out or up in terms of sexual market value in partners.

Why Pornography Affects Women in Relationships More than Men

I'd also like to note that most of the time the women who are more so offended by this type of action by men are your more traditional, feminized, "marriage is everything" women. Same ones that aren't into kinky things. Same ones that aren't into being disrespected. Same ones who believe at the very least women are the exact same as men. These are the ones snooping around in their husband's computer history.

The way I see it if it hurts you that badly to see your husband or boyfriend watching porn then why not just leave him? I'll tell you why. Because there's something other than just the porn creating that dread. Like I said before it could be that he's of higher sexual value, which would mean you'd have to hope that you can find another of equal or higher value and that can be difficult for a woman to do. Especially if you've been so comfortable not having to worry about your own value. Now she has to "test the market" again and depending on how long she's been out of it that can be scary. Meanwhile the guy hell he can always go down a level to a girl who's of lesser value.

Why Pornography Affects Women in Relationships More than Men

I could get into marriage and how that's more so for women than men, but I won't because that'll take us into a separate discussion. Just understand that porn doesn't ruin a relationship or even marriage. Dread/jealousy can and it's based on feminine insecurity.

Let's recap:

Why Pornography Affects Women in Relationships More than Men

You: So wait a minute wait a minute. You're telling me that men watch porn because they want to be with other women? That's cheating!

Me: How? Is he fucking the porn star?

You: Well no, but..

Me: Have they ever even met?

You: I guess not..but I won't allow him to watch it! Period! He should be watching me instead!

Me: You're entitled to your opinion, but if you are trying to restrict another grown fucking person from watching whatever they want to watch then that speaks more about you than them. How that isn't insecurity and selfishness is beyond me.

You: Well well.. what if he lies and hides it?

Me: If a tree falls and nobody hears it did it still fall? Just because he doesn't do it in your presence doesn't mean he's lying or trying to hide it. However, if he IS lying about it then I'm sure it's because he doesn't want it to bother you.

You: Well if he knows it bothers me why does he do it?

Me: Because dread is something every female suffers with and it is even more apparent in monogamy. Just because it bothers you don't mean it's wrong for him to do it. It just means again that you're selfish and he doesn't want to bring your jealousy out.

You: I'm not jealous.

Me: Sure you are. Why else would it be a problem?

You: Because I should be all he needs.

Me: Again you may be all he needs in terms of companionship, but again the practice of hunting women or seeking out other women is still there. That need can't be accomplished by porking his one woman. That need comes from porn or eye balling the waitress a little bit. Again we can't and/or shouldn't negate sexual attraction. It's just a natural happening. Regardless of such a thing we can still think logically and not cheat.

So in conclusion, guys enjoy watching whatever the hell it is you want to watch. If your partner can't handle it that's her own issue that she'll have to figure out.

But again this is just my viewpoint based on observations, facts, and educated conclusions. Everyone is free to voice their own opinion. This is mine. Thanks.

2 6

Most Helpful Guy

  • TL;DR

    But I will say that porn has been a boon for men on multiple levels. The only control women have over men is sexual control, and porn undermines that control big time. Women sense that and it gets them at their core.

    Porn has also forced women to up their sexual game. In the past, men were lucky to get sex, period. Today, women now understand that sex in not the prize for men. GOOD sex is the prize, so things like anal and rough sex are becoming mainstream because women see it in porn and they know men expect those things now, and that other women are willing to do them. So to be competitive, women today have to perform. The entitled starfishes out there who think all they need to do is show up and undress are getting kicked to the curb.

    So yeah, I'm a big fan of porn, not just because I enjoy it but also because of how it has changed sexual dynamics for the better and diminished women's power over men. It has helped level the playing field.

    • True 🤔. Sex is the only thing a woman can truly offer a man. Resources he should have on his own. You mentioned good sex... and alluded to kinky sex. I do believe that in the old world people were having kinky sex, but it would be the royals messing around with the slaves. That kind of thing. I agree though (getting off topic). And now a lot of these women are even finding female partners for their man to fuck.

    • That's true , great content man thanks..

    • Hmm... Well said. Didn't think about it in quite those terms.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Ha! Only insecure little girls feel threatened by porn. I watch porn myself and I don't care whether my future boyfriend would watch porn or not as long as it's not animal porn, child porn or snuff.

    Attraction will always be there and there is no way to remove it. And if it was possible, then it would be just tyrannical and nothing else.

    • Well the one who admitted this was becoming a problem for her I think was in her 30s.. maybe 20s, but definitely not a teenager and she was married.

    • People have issues and blame it on anything but themselves. At least most of the times. I don't see porn as a threat. I see it as a nice entertainment and a way to get into the mood if you find the right porn.

    • That's a nice way to be.

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What Girls & Guys Said

32 37
  • Nah, most women do not care if their man watches porn until she thinks it's taking away from her. Is he watching porn instead of having sex with his wife? Is it because he is lazy? Is he spending less time with his wife to watch porn instead? So, is he leaving his woman alone and unsatisfied until she feels that porn is where she should place blame to excuse her beloved husband? Hmmm...

    Is he ridiculously holding his wife up to porn standards and asking her to copy people/things he keeps seeing? That's a bit unfair to his wife.

    Now, if he's watching porn with his wife to kink things up or he is rubbing one out in the bathroom at work for 10 mins, and still going home for quality sexy time with the wife, then why would she have any reason to complain? (unless she's super religious)

    Think about it.

    • Also, some men get to a point of being so obsessed with porn that they have a hard time having normal sex and getting off without it. Ouch for the wife, huh?

    • Porn is horrible for the mind

    • @RichardBandit Please explain why you feel this way?

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  • I don't know how old this is but i enjoyed the read. But what about cheating? if we analyze everything like that then cheating doesn't destroy marriages, jealousy does right? Why is it wrong to kiss another person? It's just kissing? I mean I think we can keep going and going and it seems a bit wrong because sometimes you just have to say it's wrong because it doesn't feel right. I also don't agree with the reason why women don't leave but that's what I have noticed as well. I have also seen women with guys who cheat, are demanding or are lazy and the woman complains but doesn't leave. My guy friend pointed that out to me and told me he didn't understand it because women have an advantage compared to men. It's way easier for a woman to get a guy than for a guy to lose a girl and get a new girlfriend. A woman just needs to dress nice and go somewhere and she will either have guys go up to her or she will go up to guys and rarely will a woman who looks pretty will be denied. But for a guy it will be way harder, he will have to go up to a girl and a lot of times he can be denied because he may have seemed creepy or moved too fast. So I don't think women are afriad of losing value because many women can do way better and they know it. A lot of times what I have noticed is that the ones who don't leave really care about their reputation and don't want to be dating guy after guy but rather stick with the least guys as possible. But I would like for you to do an article on why men are so bothered by women having past sexual partners :) Thanks again for the good read!

  • lots of strawman arguments in this.

    Strawman is where you invent an opponent to your point of view that says exactly what you want them to say so that your point seems stronger. Politicians do this literally all the time lol. In reality, i think you'll find women more nuanced than this.

  • This is an interesting take. For me it's sort of the opposite, I got suspicious when my guy said he doesn't watch porn or masturbate. I prefer that he does watch it - it may help keep his libido under control when we're both working crazy hours and not seeing each other. However it doesn't appear that he has a libido when he's not with someone so that concerns me a bit lol

  • I find it amusing you used a 2014 survey from cosmopolitian. When you do a take such as this, you really need updated results and research. Which you will find, more women nowadays is admititng to watching porn then they did years ago. Also, its not the jealously of the guy watching porn that kills the relationship, it's when either partner picks watching porn over being with their SO and taking care of themselves and that couple doesn't have sex as often as a result. It's one thing when you are having sex regularly and watching porn and another ball game when the sex is almost non existent and the porn watching has increased.

    • 2014 isn't exactly a long time ago. How recent does it need to be? Four months ago? Or is even that too old?

    • @Anon-ymous1 2017 would be the best - using something that was 3 1/2 years to 4 years ago is a lot when you are looking at data and research. Even scientists will review older data but they are going to rely on their current data/research for more accurate results. With the world changing and society becoming more open, the answers will more than likely be substantially different compared to then. Also, being a female, I know a lot of my female friends would not admit that they watch porn or how often because it wasn't something heard of to announce to the public. Age group matters for these results too. The 4000 asked 4 years ago, are now going to move into the next age group - which will change the results.

    • I suppose? But sexuality does not change very rapidly in four years when it has evolved over the previous forty thousand or whatever.

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  • Provided everyone he's watching is a consenting adult he can watch whatever he wants. I don't like visual pornography myself because it mostly just looks uncomfortable, but if he enjoys it fine.

    • Yeah I've noticed most females aren't visual by nature. Men are. Another reason why men like porn more.

    • Trust me, there r females that are. It's just that the female is the star of the show, like u said, and many of the sex acts being shown r pleasurable to guys.

    • It's less about being turned on by visual stimulants and more about the acts in porn are generally not things women enjoy. Those orgasms are faker then Trump's tan. But, again he can watch what he wants provided everyone involved is a consenting adult.

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  • Yes it's probably a problem with some couples. But if women don't talk to their man about it, multiple times, then the man assumes there is no problem. Men cannot be expected to be mind readers. Women need to speak up.

  • True. Still, I would like my guy to regulate his desire to watch porn. Not out of jealousy, but because I think it's generally not a good habit.

  • ... I only made it halfway through this, all I could think is "man this boy must not be able to get his dick to stay up".

    I just want these guys to say in real life what they say on the internet. In stead of standing in the corner and fiddling with your phone walk up to someone and say "hi, I prefer my hand to pussy" Jesus where I grew up a guy would get the shit kicked out of him for even thinking that... Times have changed.

    • "man this boy must not be able to get his dick to stay up". As in me? You mean me right? Bahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha. 😂😂😂😂😂

    • Lord how mercy. Poor thing. If only you knew. "You ain't cum yet?" LOL I get that a lot. After I cum often times I can go for more. Though THAT does depend. Sometimes I can't go back in right after cumming. But other times I can. Anyway, I'll tell anyone what I explained in my take. This wasn't about preferring one's hand over pussy, but given you didn't read my take it's rather obvious that there's some ignorance here. "Jesus where I grew up a guy would get the shit kicked out of him for even thinking that" Over pussy? Well when I was growing up people didn't fight over sex or pussy or any of that. If we fighting it's over something better. Money. A snitch/rat. That kind of shit. Not because you want to jerk off 😂😂😂 what kind of parents raised you? Bahahaha.

    • I'll fuck u baby

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  • Porn i wanting your cake and fuck it too

  • Watching porn is a bad habit. Period.

    • Why? Explain.

    • You stay strong cubster. Porn is trash

    • Porn rewires your brain op. Its not natural. Its an addiction. Like coke or heroin.

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  • Women in general settle for guys that are less attractive than them. Women in general have more sexual value than men do.

    The sexual value of women starts to go down from age 30, for men it lasts a lot longer, but women tend to marry or end up in serious ltr at a younger age so that makes up for it.

    I don't care my man watches it, as I watch it too. But I would feel offended if he lusted over other women more, no reason to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't appreciate you. Why be with someone that mentally and sexually bores you?

    I added that last part cause i got that vibe from what you wrote. My bad if I misinterpreted it.

  • That's interesting. In my relationship, it's the exact opposite. I have the higher sexual market value, which is probably why I'm bored with my husband. I watch more porn than he does. I also sext with other men, and he doesn't like it at all but there's nothing he can do about it.

    • What do you do for a living?

    • I'm a stay-at-home mom

    • Mhm. He's the breadwinner. I thought so. Despite your higher value I imagine this has a lot to do with twhy you stick with him.

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  • Damn the differences in nature and societal expectations

  • I wouldn't mind my boyfriend watching porn only if we can watch together. I would not mind it all

    • Why do y'all have to watch it together?

    • There is no logical reason. Why we have to watch it together we don't always have to watch it together my point is I just wouldn't want him sneaking around my back watching it when he can freely tell me he watches it I wouldn't have a problem but if he watches it secretly I would think he desires for a better sex life if that makes senses.

    • Okay. Yeah.

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  • It hasn't affected me in a negative way.

  • This was too long for me to read the whole thing, but I don't agree with a lot of it. What I do agree with is that pornography can result in more unrealistic expectations of sex, particularly for adolescents, and leaves women with a more unrealistic expectation of how to behave during sex. For example, the women are typically able to orgasm multiple times in every position with no toys, and that's not how sex is for most women, although my boyfriend still tries XD

    That being said, I think having an open discussion about sex and porn can change a lot of this. I watch porn, my boyfriend couldn't care less. My boyfriend watches porn, I couldn't care less. As long as we keep that discussion open about what's pleasurable for us, it causes no issue. That being said, I imagine it can be detrimental in relationships that don't discuss things.

    • Meeh. You really probably should read what I wrote as I didn't really talk about unrealistic expectations in the bedroom. Even though I do agree that porn can warp that. That really wasn't the sole purpose of this topic. As for women orgasms a lot of (not all) women do orgasm multiple times with no toys. In fact outside of an anal plugs I've used on my girlfriend I haven't used any toys on females (well also paddle but it didn't make her orgasm). 99% of the time my dick is enough. I'm not bragging I'm just giving you facts that kind of negate your argument. Now if it's different for other guys I don't know, but I can only speak from my experience. Sounds like your boyfriend needs to step his stroke game up to me lol. Yeah like I noted my girlfriend loves Hentai. She can flick her clit until it hurts to porn for all I care. Good for her. I'm sure it'll benefit her. I still make her orgasm through sex though and she's a creamer so you can see it.

    • You're right. An open discussion about sex and porn I think is very much needed. I think a lot of times people are afraid to be completely honest about it. I feel you are very honest in your response. Thank you.

    • I'm guessing your girlfriend is one of the 20-45% of women that can orgasm just from intercourse if she's not faking it, as studies have shown. Plus, to give her an orgasm, u have to know where the clit is, which is a pretty complex structure. And for MOST women, for getting an orgasm, foreplay is actually required. Again, this doesn't mean a guy's stroke game isn't good. But if she's not faking it, that's great. And unfortunately, porn teaches that giving a girl intercourse is all that's needed to give her pleasure and that they can squirt on command. Plus, some girls and guys as well think that if their partner watches porn, they're cheating emotionally by imagining fucking the other girl/ guy in the video. All in all, I respect your opinion as some couples may be ok with such but not all are.

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  • If these bitches were actually good in bed, they wouldn't have to worry about their man watching porn now would they? ;)

    • Dunno why you're referring to chicks as "bitches," I mean that's kind of trashy, but I don't disagree with your point entirely.

    • You're probably a fake Viking. If guys cared about sex so much, I'm pretty sure they could just leave and watch porn with no obstacles. Meanwhile your girlfriend could seek better sex with other guys.

    • I meant leave the relationship.

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  • This was a big issue between my mom and dad. Now I finally understand. My boyfriend watches porn and I don’t have a problem with it

  • It creates unrealistic expectations

    • No, not really.

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