Sexual Relationships
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Why I Don't Believe In The Hookup Culture.

You could look like Harry Styles and I still would not climb into bed with you.

Why I Don't Believe In The Hookup Culture.

College is a time to explore and be free, right? You do not have time to worry about finding your future spouse so you might as well just go out and mingle with no expectations. It's totally OK to go out, get plastered, and then wake up in bed with a guy you don't remember meeting.

For some people this mentality is OK, but I don't believe in it.

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that you should at least be in a committed relationship with someone before you sleep with them.

Sex is one of the most sacred and special things you can share with someone, so why would you want to waste that on the guy/girl who looked "hot" at the bar the night before but refuses to call you the next day? Or the douche-y fraternity president who will not amount to anything? It's not worth your time.

Why I Don't Believe In The Hookup Culture.

I believe in holding myself to a higher standard and valuing my self-worth.

Unfortunately, this stereotypes me as being a "prude" or even a "stuck up bitch" because I refuse to spread my legs for a lousy boy.

Well, here is what I have to say to you: Call me a prude because it doesn't bother me one bit. I would rather be known as a prude than the slut who has slept with half of your house.

If you ever get the chance to sleep with me (which you won't) then you should consider yourself lucky that I have saved this special moment for you.

I'm not going to be another number in your sex count and if you are stupid enough to give me crap for it, then I will be a bitch. Why? Because bitches get stuff done. If you want any chance to even remotely get close to me, then respect me and my decisions.

You could be the long lost identical twin to Zayn Malik, and I still wouldn't crawl into bed with you. I'd rather have someone who cares about me for my personality, my love for food, my driven attitude, and my decisions I have made.

If you can't value me for that, then I don't have room in my life for you.

Why I Don't Believe In The Hookup Culture.

To the other girls who choose to participate in the hookup culture: I'm not judging you. This is your experience and if you like the no-strings-attached lifestyle, then good for you! Sometimes people are not the "relationship type" and would rather have these experiences before life gets real, and that is okay. Just never let some stupid college boy disrespect you because you aren't doing things the way he likes.

All love,

Angelina25 <3

This take was suggested by @omgjassy Thanks so much, love.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Statistically the more partners you have the more likely you are to be depressed, to be unhappy in long term relationships, be unsatisfied with sex, more likely to cheat and divorce etc. All of which also increase over all misery. In fact statistically married couples are happier then single people and people in traditional relationships are happier then those who are in non traditional relationships. Their is a reason why we do things this way, instant gratification is rarely all that gratifying in the long term. I personally never understood the one night stands and friends with benefits, to me it just was never appealing. As I got older I found out how destructive it was so now I'm very much against it.

    • exactly. Every male and female slut I know is an emotional WRECK

    • @ronaldo75 Yeah, generally speaking they are not well adjusted, we just are not made for it. Its kind of like with sugar and fats, we crave them but no one would be stupid enough to pretend like gorging on junk food is healthy, the same goes for sex yeah its great yeah we crave it but that doesn't mean indulging yourself non stop isn't going to have a negative effect.

  • Just so you know, the best guys are looking for girls like you. Despite the common perception, when it comes to looking for a life partner, YOU are what we are looking for.

    • I feel good lol

    • I'm not so sure about that... I don't want to call myself the "best guy" but I am tall, fit and graduate level educated. I can have almost any girl I want... and I wouldn't settle for a girl who uses terms like "stupid college boy" and proudly calls herself a "bitch" as a means of "empowerment".

    • @10dsw Well, I believe that I generalized it. It's more about My personal experiences. I'm sorry if you're offended. And the bitch thing... People call me "stuck up bitch" which I why I was kind of justifying it. If that makes sense... Anyway, to each his own. And I respect your opinions. Have a good day. :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Peoples wants differ for sure. Personally sharing my body with someone is very intimate so I like to wait until trust has been established and love has grown. For other girls there’s no disrespect on their choices. My favorite example is the chip bowl at a party. Lots of people reach in and eat those chips. They are still good at the first chip to the last one. Mutual respect will go a long way in our society.

    • This is the best example!

    • Thank you!

    • "Personally sharing my body with someone is very intimate so I like to wait until trust has been established and love has grown" this is what I am always trying to explain to people and friends in life. They seem not to understand. It looks like our opinion regarding this topic is the minority :-( Again, you are totally right as for "Peoples wants differ for sure".

  • Hahah you have a fun way of writing, I like it😂👍

    • Haha thanks 😂

    • Welcome 😂

    • Thank you for the mho

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

21 44

  • I agree that the hookup culture is not the best way to go about ‘relationships.’ If you date different people while not yet in a serious relationship, that’s fine. You believe that being committed to only one person is the way to go. I completely agree with that. I’ve been in a relationship for 6 1/2 years and have always been faithful. So has he. You will attract the right guys knowing that you only believe in committing to one person. Even if players hit on you. They won’t pursue you if you want a relationship and they don’t.

  • Good for you. I like to know if I'm sexually compatible for sure. My current relationship came from a friends with benefits and we just happen to have a lot in common and like to have more than sexual relations together and we liked to spend time together even if there wasn't any sex. We all have needs and it's fine to hookup and move on until next time. Not everyone wants a meaningful relationship and that's alright

  • Thank you dear for this post. I like it and am speechless. I am glad to see there are still decent people like you around.

    In my own opinion, you have the right to be whoever you want. Your life. Your choices.

    Frankly, most of my friends (guys) say I am less manly because I don't do hookups, neither one night stands. Friends with benefits also is not my thing. For me to actually go to bed with someone, would mean we already know each other really well, have been dating for a while, we connect emotionally and mentally. With no real feelings at all, for me it is a waste of time.

    This quote is totally me "Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that you should at least be in a committed relationship with someone before you sleep with them".

    Everyone has the chance to be who they want to be. You are the way you are, I agree with you totally on everything. If others want to be "jerks", then it is their loss. I have had one time a meaningless night, because I\I was young and drunk and too dumb to open my eyes. Once I understood what a real intimate love moment could be, I was not the same anymore.

    Again, thank you for sharing this.
    I like it.
    Simple and straight forward.

    Cheers!!!

  • First of all I do respect your opinion and I acknowledge that you don't necessarily "shame" girls who do hookup culture. Although, I will point out that you did call them sluts which isn't necessarily a nice way of putting it, even though it may be"true" by definition so I won't blast you there. But that is never a word I would use to describe someone with that lifestyle I guess. I am not saying I'm necessarily all for the hookup style myself because I haven't really experienced it all that much. I did hook up with someone I wasn't in a relationship with, someone who I had only met up with three times prior and had only know for a little less then a month, but he's the only person I have ever slept with and he is now my boyfriend. So I guess my hookup phase was kind of short lived. But even if I never saw him again I still wouldn't have regretting it one bit, I chose to do that and I wanted to.
    Now I probably totally would of done a hookup again, although knowing myself and the kind of person I am, I am shy when it comes to sex/romance with new people. I have kissed other people and gone on dates with other people and I am very good socially but on the inside I am shy and nervous with boys in all honesty. And sex is something I don't really do the first time meeting (unless i'm drunk probably lol, but I can't even be sure about that because I've never had the opportunity) so I am limited on answering a lot, but I can say this - there isn't anything wrong with hook up culture morally as long as you are safe and not hurting anybody else involved. Bottom line.
    Of course there is a stigma against girls more than boys I realize that, and it comes from girls having to carry a baby essentially and not sleeping around and having the best genes possible and not making decisions drunk because their genes can be worse then you realized when you were drunk in a dark club (its a biological thing when you get down to it). But in reality who really cares, people do it because it is fun and they enjoy it I am guessing. Some people do it for other reasons that may not be so good such as validation for multiple different reasons. But all of that aside I think you even said it, if its for you then thats great, if it isn't thats great too.
    I just think people should stop judging each other for having differing opinions, the world would be awfully boring if everybody thought the same.

  • I believe the same. Sex is a very intimate moment to be experienced with somebody you trust and love deeply.

  • I 100% agree with you. Before I met my boyfriend my friends advised me to join a dating a site they used because that's where they met their boyfriend. So I joined and yes I warned that it will seem like majority of men will want hook ups or friends with benifts and they were right. It was actually funny because I don't look overweight so I decided to put in my bio how much I weigh. So when guys messaged me they will say " hey, I don't care how much you weigh, I think you look beautiful. Wanna meet and have some fun? 😉 " * shows di*k pic *
    Me: " no sorry I'm not interested, I'm just look for something long term "
    And as always they will say, " wow you should be lucky I messaged you because who would want your ugly fat ass "
    I laugh everytime. Luckily after being on there for maybe 2 or 3 months I met my boyfriend that wants to wait as well and is looking for something serious and long term.

  • You can live your life the way you want and free from judgement. It's good you do what you feel is right. Just because other girls hook up doesn't mean you have to. Some girls cave in to peer pressure. And pressure from guys. In the end you have to hold on to your values and principles and never change what you believe for nobody.

  • that's all fine and dandy but why do people always think women who hookup are burdened by the fact that the guy doesn't care about them. The feeling is mutual, I don't care about them either. Weirdly enough that sarcastic image, "Let's try sex before we rush into dating" is actually very truthful to me. I see relationships as very emotionally involved and very serious things to enter into, I don't take it lightly, but sex on the other hand is just sex.

    • I do like your point of view also. though, we are different and we may not like the same thing. But we should respect other opinions. I respect yours, and I agree that sometimes, a one night stand could lead to a long term relationship :-) Some people also do need to mentally and emotionally connect so they can workout an intimate time.

    • Why has this opinion got so many downvotes?

    • People often downvote hood opinions. -_-

    • Show All

  • Well i really agree with you on this point, i never had casual sex, now that i am 29 years old i am even less inclined to do so and i honestly wouldn´t be very comfortable to date and let alone have a relationship with someone who had tons of casual sex in the past. This hook up culture is in fact one of the things that are killing male/female relationships in my point of view, the fact that people have their hearts broken by having sex with a person who only wanted them for their bodies and the pleasure that coud be obtained by them.

  • Hookup Culture is just "the sky is falling rhetoric" it has no basis in fact. The fact is that millennials are Less likely to engage in casual sex then previous generations. The ironic thing about it is the people pimping this story were part of the Free Love movement and engaged in far more casual sex then the younger generation they keeping calling down. The fact of the matter is the people engaging in casual sex are the people who have ALWAYS engaged in casual sex. The past was just as rife with affairs and casual sex as the present. Don't buy into the hype. There are plenty of people out there making the exact same decisions as you, you aren't abnormal in the least.

  • The freedom to explore options must include the freedom to reject some options. Otherwise it is not freedom but compulsion. I would much rather have a partner who makes me wait so that she can be sure that we have a special connection instead of a partner who pulls down her panties on the first date.

    I do take issue with one comment. "The douche-y fraternity president" is a stereotype created by Hollywood. Greek organizations vary widely at different schools. You may have encountered a douche fraternity president at your college. I have been an adviser to a fraternity at a mid-sized private university in my hometown for the past three years and I would be extremely proud to have our last three presidents as my sons or grandsons. They are all gentlemen, scholars, and leaders for today and tomorrow.

  • I would normally agree with you, but finding a sexual partner who is right for me is insanely difficult. First, she has to get insanely wet between her legs... like abnormally wet. Not many women like that. So that in itself is very difficult. Next, I need a woman who loves receiving oral so much, she honestly doesn't even want anything else, and would even lie to get out of having to do anything else after having somebody eat her out for literal hours. So as you can see, a "hook-up" is about the only way I will ever find a woman like that. Then top that all off with, I have to actually get along with her so I can fall in love with her. It's almost impossible to find this for me, but it doesn't stop me from trying.

  • I don't like it either. I will always make sure I am in a 100% exclusive committed relationship and have been together a reasonable amount of time to make sure they are serious about me. I get attached very easily, hate sharing and don't trust many people.
    As for people saying they want to see if they're sexually compatible first, I get that but sex isn't or shouldn't be the main aspect of a relationship in my opinion. You can also talk about fantasies and fetishes and all of that stuff beforehand too, I have with all my past relationships.

  • I see your point. Unfortunately we are living in a over-sexualized world where sex is nothing special, and where you can get whatever you want.
    It is a question of values, and values are going down in our society

    • I love you!! You are spot on!

  • I sympathize with women over being pressured to be sexual with those that they have no sexual attraction to... imagine how us dudes feel getting browbeat for not wanting to plug the 200lbs. blue haired feminist with her nose ring and shitty attitude towards my gender in general... all because I should just want her because she's a woman. I mean what logic right?

    At the same time though, as I pointed out, we all deal with it... just tell them to fuck off like the rest of us and get over it, just like the rest of us.

  • Yawn. Just as futile and empty like everything else here to me. Just another kind of obsession and possibly even an addiction like many other things that exists here in thus world that people do over and over agaib frequently and use it to kill time and pass the time until their time is up in this world. All just trying to fill an empty void over and over again, even though they may not or have not recognize it yet. But whatever. Because if that is what they believe in and believe is right for them, then so be it for them. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts then?

    I had voluntarily resigned from all things relevant to dating, relationships, and sex long time ago and would rather remain celibate and abstinent indefinitely instead. Because all those things, including hook ups are just as empty and hollow to me, and I know they won't bring me any kind of true or real "satisfaction", "contentment", "happiness" or "fulfillment", and therefore, I'm good and I'll pass on all of it instead.

    • Since I am more than certain and know clearly that those things won't bring me any real or true "satisfaction", "contentment", "happiness" or "fulfillment", then what is the point of me to even try them?

  • 78.media.tumblr.com/.../...nyk4p51r2tuixo1_400.gif

    Hang on. Why the hell is Harry Styles seen as attractive? I've struggled to understand this for the longest. He's a dopey kid with spiky hair. He kind of looks like frog.

    Anyway, as far as college it depends on the college. I went to tech school. Yeah there were girls and all, and yeah I'm sure there were parties around but more so if you lived in the area. I did not. But yeah I did have chicks after me so I don't know maybe I'm a bad example even still. However, the college I went to isn't your movie esque college. It's not like a university where you're forever in debt after it because you needed a loan to pay for it (that is if you didn't get a scholarship).

    Sex is a biological function. A necessary happening within nature. It's like pissing. Has to happen at some point. We (humans) put all the other BS behind it. You're not above anything or anyone by not having sex with someone you weren't committed to. You just prefer something different. Using my pee example it's like driving an extra mile to piss in a restaurant than to just pee at the gas station you're already at. You think you're moral by preferring a different place to piss. Just like you think you are more moral by preferring a different way of pursuing sex. I have no problem with that preferring to be in a committed relationship, but that doesn't make someone who doesn't do that a waste. I also like how you say you aren't a prude and then proceed by being a prude. You say if we ever get the chance to fuck you. You could be a man for all I know. I don't give a damn. I get pussy already. When you mention people like Zayn and Harry it shows what kind of Disney princess person you are. No wonder you have the issues you have and it is an issue or you wouldn't have felt the need to post this.

    One last thing. You said this:

    "To the other girls who choose to participate in the hookup culture: I'm not judging you. This is your experience and if you like the no-strings-attached lifestyle, then good for you! Sometimes people are not the "relationship type" and would rather have these experiences before life gets real,"

    I don't know what's not real about sexual intercourse. Be it hooking up, committed, or two dogs going at it at the end of the day sex is sex. It's just a biological function. That's all it is. And when you say "real" you mean when they guy is

    • fully conditioned to serve the feminine imperative. It could be the guy who wasn't getting laid all this time and finally the girl needs resources and so she turns to him. Yeah that's an issue for a separate discussion.

    • I take back the stuff I said about Harry and Zayn. You're young. Should be expected from someone so young.

  • Goodtake I agree

  • great take! I feel the same as you on this. if some people prefer the hookup lifestyle, than its fine for them. i'd rather love the person first cause I see sex as like a sacred thing. I mean c'mon you're literally sharing yourself with another person!

  • I agree ! I can only have sex with a girl I have feelings for. I don't judge people if they have casual sex. But in my opinion, people who have drunk one night stands with strangers every weekend do that because they're unhappy or feel lonely. I never met a girl who was happy that she had a one night stand last night, most are actually embarrassed and don't want to talk about what they did.

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